D&C experience

I’m writing this probably as a way of grieving but also as I think it might help others going through a similar experience.
At 8weeks we had a scan in the EPU in the rotunda and we were so delighted to see a heartbeat. We arranged for non invasive prenatal testing and we were so devastated that at 10weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Sadly I have had a D&C before but we never seen a heartbeat that time. After TTC for 17months and seeing a heartbeat we were just totally devastated. At 10wks+6 I had a D&C in the rotunda.

On your admission card at the back is a symbol indicating bereavement I recommend handing in this card with the symbol facing up. As soon as the receptionist seen the symbol she rang the lady in admissions and she seen me straight away. For me tears just started flowing straight away at this point but it was very quick - just checking contact details really. She brought me up to the gynae ward straight away to my bed for the day.

I had to be at the hospital for 9am fasting from midnight and I was brought down to the anaesthetic area for 3:30 so he prepared for a long day.
Shockingly the rotunda has no WIFI for patients but luckily I had downloaded a random tv series on to my iPad which kept me occupied as I wasn’t up for reading. Bring a dressing gown and slippers for walking down to theatre. They give you disposable underwear but bring your own sanitary pads.

Be prepared to hear babies cry. Well you can’t really be prepared and to be honest the whole experience is emotional but just a warning I heard them crying from my room and also when I was called down for surgery and I was waiting in a little room for the anaesthetist and surgical nurse to do their checks I heard a baby born by section. Waiting in this area for about 30mins tears were flowing for me too. I am lucky to have a 2yr old born by emergency caesarean so the last time I was in theatre in the rotunda was a much better experience for me which I think added to my grieve.

They ask you if you are happy to be giving antisickness tablets and a supository for pain relief during the procedure. I said yes to anything they felt appropriate, you are under general anaesthetic and don’t feel anything. After the procedure you will need to wear pads so bring your own. You are meant to be monitored for 4hrs post but to be honest I was allowed to go home after 3hrs which was 8pm at night. I’d say this influenced the monitoring time as it was getting late but I was happy to leave as I felt fine. You have to pass urine before you go so if like me you have yours late make sure to drink post procedure as you will probably be dehydrated. Being dehydrated can also lead to low blood pressure so another reason to drink post procedure. They give you 1L of IV fluids during the procedure.

I had crampy pain passing stool (going number 2s whatever way you want to describe it) and I wasn’t constipated at all. Also cramping just passing urine sometimes. Occasionally I would just be standing and get a sharp crampy pain. But the majority of the time in the days post I didn’t have any pain and I didn’t take any pain relief at all. I wouldn’t want to mask anything so I like knowing what is going on with my body and just so you know the sharp pain only lasts for a very short period. I wore pads for a few days and then switched to panty liners. Online says you bleed for a few days I had my procedure on Thursday 11th April and yesterday Saturday the 20th from lunchtime on I haven’t bled for the first time. It was annoyingly very light but lingering for days before that.

For me I want to TTC asap so the bleeding stopping is a positive for me as I want my body to go back to normal. I had a D&C in January 2016 and conceived my daughter in March 2016 so I am really hoping for another rainbow baby. I know some people say emotionally they need to wait but for me that is not the case. Moving on to TTC again I know will help me personally and also if there is any truth to being more fertile post D&C then I want to make the most of that.

For anyone going through similar seeing little babies and seeing pregnancy bumps and thinking of your due date and the baby you so dearly wanted but sadly will no longer happen this time is so hard. My hopes of a 2019 baby are gone. My hopes of having a baby before my daughter turns 3 are gone. We started TTC when my daughter was 9months old and as I look at her getting older and as I get older I find this whole situation devastating. I have a science background so I do also think that missed miscarriages happen for a reason eg chromosomal abnormalities but thinking that doesn’t overly help that much being honest.

For me I have had one of these before and sadly it did mean that for the whole of my pregnancy on my daughter I could not relax. Every scan was relief, every trip to the toilet was a check to see if there was any bleeding, every kick was a relief, be prepared for this. You will have friends that have never experienced pregnancy issues who will sail through pregnancy with an aura of pregnancy bliss around them. I hope you may experience some of this but if you are like me you will always have an element of worry in the background until your healthy baby arrives. I understand that some people reading this won’t have experienced the joy of having their own child yet and I should be grateful for the one I have. I truely am but I have 8 siblings so I do long to give my daughter a sibling to bond with so I am grieving this loss for her too.

For anyone going through a similar experience I send my love. I’ve chosen to tell work and those close to me and I would recommend you do the same even to avoid people saying inappropriate things to you.