Would you ever hit a woman?

greenspurs · 23-07-2020 9:47am

how does 'his' threads gain so many posters.....

Ultima Thule · 23-07-2020 9:57am

Feisar wrote: »

You do know the OP? We all complain however a lot of their threads gain a fair bit of traction.

Exactly. Complains about the thread and then even makes a 2nd post right after. Hypocrites.

knucklehead6 · 23-07-2020 10:02am

skooterblue2 wrote: »

From observing it with former housemates, it just doesn't happen there is a build up and fierce amount of provocation before violence ensues.

Absolute total codswallop

Post Natal Depression has been used as an excuse.

PMT has bee used as an excuse.

Fcuk off with you and your bull**** comments about provocation.

23-07-2020 10:09am

Isn't it amazing the hoops being jumped through to justify female on male violence in a world of supposed equality?

Anyone that's dealt with domestic violence will know that the aim is not to 'win a fight' it's too dominate emotionally. Size doesn't play a part.

The op also some about hitting a woman and there's users trying to dismiss self defense in the basis that the attacker is smaller. I got news for you, being punched by a smaller person is still a punch. It can still knock you down and leave you defenceless while they dance on your head. I have hit a lot of people bigger than me.

Same applies to the 12 year old. They may be smaller but stand there and let them keep hitting you, you will get knocked down and you will be hurt.

Would I hit a woman? Have. More than once. Probable will again. All justified.

bunderoon · 23-07-2020 10:16am

skooterblue2 wrote: »

I think one in fine abusers is female. From observing it with former housemates, it just doesn't happen there is a build up and fierce amount of provocation before violence ensues.

Are you counting mental abusers in that 1 in 5 are Female in your thought?

No one should raise a hand to anyone. Simple as. Violence is disgusting.
--> But if you do (regardless of gender) then you must be willing to face the consequences of your actions. We are all grownups after all and should be treated equally.

H3llR4iser · 23-07-2020 4:03pm

Three considerations:

1 - would we stop with the OP-hating? He might have some funny questions, sometimes sounds like there's a social experiment going on (might very well be), but his posts almost never fail getting the discussion going; Otherwise, this board would be mostly dead or just discussion about hair loss and magic snake oil to make it grow back. Also, the people attacking him on perceived "insecurities" because of his questions - that kind of attitude belongs in a creche.

2 - "Female initiated" violence is much more common that most would like to admit; One thing to consider is that there is massive underreporting of it, men who are victims almost never come forward for fear of being ridiculed or not believed. Again, many of the comments/attitudes in this thread demonstrate such fear is justified and the bias is alive and well.

3 - All the "macho men" that "a woman can't do any damage", well, you have no idea what you're talking about, fair and simple. We're not talking about a straight by-the-rules boxing match here, not a weirdly composed action movie fight were even the super villain never goes for cheap shots. We're talking about brutal, gritty "I just want to do damage" scenarios, and in these, well, it doesn't take a lot of force to hurt, disable or severely injure a person.

tritium · 23-07-2020 8:40pm

skooterblue2 wrote: »

I think one in fine abusers is female. From observing it with former housemates, it just doesn't happen there is a build up and fierce amount of provocation before violence ensues.

If 40%+ of abuse victims are male I’m not really sure where you get the 1 in 5 from?

Markcheese · 23-07-2020 10:07pm

I've seen the scars inflicted on my sisters friend because his girlfriend / then wife knew he "didn't hit women " it was a toxic relationship from the start ...
I've also heard a pain in the ass ,controlling neighbour get slapped or punched as she progressively wound her boyfriend up more and more ... ( Not excusing the boyfriend in any way )
It rarely as simple as just a random wallop ...
And I genuinely though at least "she'll shut up now " when my neighbour got walloped . ( Ashamed to say ) , but it was a pattern ,
I wasnt intervening either , not a chance ... she'd have glasses me if she thought I was "challenging" or questioning or threatening her precious perfect boyfriend ..

Airyfairy12 · 24-07-2020 9:33am

hawley wrote: »

I slapped my ex wife a few times when we got into arguments. Left her with a bloody nose and snotty face and a few bruises. I'm not proud of it but I had a very bad temper. I was unemployed and she was harassing me to get a job. Gave her a right hiding but mostly just schoolyard stuff.

Having a bad temper doesnt excuse 'slapping' someone, its interesting how you not only victim blame her for your behaviour but also belittle your actions against her - 'Just schoolyard stuff' - What ever that means?

I remember seeing posts on different threads from you before. On one post you said your wife divorced you and you 'didnt see it coming' .. I think it was the same thread were you confessed to manipulating your children and telling them lies about your ex wife and her new partner to make them hate the pair of them. I feel very sorry for anyone who gets close to you and I really hope your wife and children have found safety, security, peace and happiness with her new partner.

timsey tiger · 24-07-2020 9:46am

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Guards have more serious things to be worried about:
Curry on the chips,
Trolling and hurtful memes
Getting an overtime quota,
Seeing if they can get the leg over another guards wife
Making sure no one is getting a leg over their wife.
Planning security for Denis OBriens next venture.
Gettin' the cousin in on the force
Smacking the station smart arse at the christmas party
.................
.................
.................
..................
Checking shotgun lisences
Checking on ragworth numbers
................
Finally
Following up on Mr Fegeliens complaints.

WTF is this doing on this list? If you don't know why this shouldn't be on this list then you shouldn't have one. I'm hooping you were just checking to see if anyone reads your posts.

timsey tiger · 24-07-2020 9:49am

tritium wrote: »

If 40%+ of abuse victims are male I’m not really sure where you get the 1 in 5 from?

Many male abuse victims could have male abusers, think outside your box normie

njburke · 24-07-2020 10:34am

There was a time I would never have hit a woman, something I got from my mother.
I have recently been corrected twice, I referred to a man's partner as his wife, I also mention lady driver insurance on the motors forum. I'm out of touch, I'm going to try harder to get with the program. In the highly unlikely event that I'm physically attacked by a vicious woman, I'll try to remember to treat her as I would a man.

tritium · 24-07-2020 7:32pm

timsey tiger wrote: »

Many male abuse victims could have male abusers, think outside your box normie

Except the most violent groups for DV are actually lesbian relationships

I actually remember A few years back, one lady, representing a female DV support group, making the claim that male abuse victims were largely from homosexual relationships. My first thoughts were how many gay men does she think are out there

I Was VB · 24-07-2020 7:38pm

I’d never start a physical assault on a woman, if she hit me 1st I’d try and restrain her, I’d use very minor physical force, I’m 6’2 and 22 stone.

If she made me mad enough to want to hit her I’d put my fist through a door or destroy a object before I’d raise a hand.

Beechwoodspark · 24-07-2020 7:42pm

No, never. Never ever

I worked with a guy a few years ago who’d regularly talk of situations where he “levelled” women, of course in his telling they “all deserved” it.

Same guy was from a particular background (not that it mattered) and had 4 kids by 4 diff mothers.

It put a bad taste in my mouth even thinking back to his Bs

Dwarf.Shortage · 24-07-2020 7:46pm

No but I would pay €100 to be let repeatedly headbutt Katie Hopkins.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 24-07-2020 7:48pm

Absolutely.
If she hit me first I'd floor her.

24-07-2020 7:49pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

No, never. Never ever

Silly. That's silly.

A woman could be stabbing you with a knife and you would just curl up into the fetal position???

SusieBlue · 24-07-2020 8:03pm

I don’t agree with using violence to settle arguments or lashing out in temper for either genders, but as a woman I’d fully expect to get the same in return if I ever raised my hand to anyone, male or female.

Strumms · 24-07-2020 11:03pm

Self defense I would, no question. I’d probably make one attempt to diffuse the situation, walk away but if anyone would follow me with the intention of hurting me as in an ‘attack’ and doing me harm I’m going to protect and defend myself. I’m more loyal to myself and my family who have had to spend quite enough time at my hospital bed (months) over what one person did to me in this life so if somebody , a girl hit me, ok, but if I’m being attacked by them, I really have no qualms about fighting fire with fire, that goes for everyone though, regardless of gender.

Sorry about that · 24-07-2020 11:22pm

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

Silly. That's silly.

A woman could be stabbing you with a knife and you would just curl up into the fetal position???

No, it's not remotely silly. Thankfully for me and my potential daughters in laws and granddaughters (I only have sons), there are still men who wouldn't consider hitting a women.

One of the first things my husband and I taught our boys was to never ever hit a girl or woman. This advice is as much for their sake as the woman's. We never advised them however, to curl up into a foetal position if physically attacked by a woman. We don't anticipate the knife attack. Statistics show that my sons are are potentially a much greater threat than any mad yoke with a knife (we haven't gone into disarmament tactics as they're both under ten, but they do know that they're probably strong enough to get out of physical danger without giving a slap).
Some scary yet revealing posts here; Mr F is quite the poultice.

facehugger99 · 24-07-2020 11:26pm

Would you ever hit a woman?

Only if she was hysterical, and even then, an open handed slap or two across the face at most.

I Was VB · 24-07-2020 11:29pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

Would you ever hit a woman?

Only if she was hysterical, and even then, an open handed slap or two across the face at most.

Your username would suggest otherwise, lol

Strumms · 24-07-2020 11:30pm

Sorry about that wrote: »

No, it's not remotely silly. Thankfully for me and my potential daughters in laws and granddaughters (I only have sons), there are still men who wouldn't consider hitting a women.

One of the first things my husband and I taught our boys was to never ever hit a girl or woman. This advice is as much for their sake as the woman's. We never advised them however, to curl up into a foetal position if physically attacked by a woman. We don't anticipate the knife attack. Statistics show that my sons are are potentially a much greater threat than any mad yoke with a knife (we haven't gone into disarmament tactics as they're both under ten, but they do know that they're probably strong enough to get out of physical danger without giving a slap).
Some scary yet revealing posts here; Mr F is quite the poultice.

‘Probably’ strong enough ? Probably is correct but if a girl comes at me with a knife, I’m not ‘probably’ defending myself, not ‘probably’ defending my life, I’m 100% doing whatever is necessary to enable me to walk away from that situation not injured and not dead. If somebody comes at you with a knife, which is a deadly weapon you need to presume they have intent to kill you with it. Therefore doing absolutely anything and everything in your physical power to protect your wellbeing and your life is appropriate.

FintanMcluskey · 24-07-2020 11:31pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

In self defence? I'm a 5ft 4in guy who's 60kgs so there's little risk of me doing damage to the average woman who might try and attack me. Meanwhile, if you're 6ft, then that's a different story.

At the risk of being admonished here, a 60kg male is going to cause a lot of damage to any woman due to genetic make up

KevRossi · 24-07-2020 11:31pm

I have done and I'd do it again for self protection. I've no regrets about doing it.

Happened in 1994. She left me with 9 stitches above the ear after she thumped me with a fistful of rings. It was actually the remains of a fight during a football match that brewed up again that night outside a pub. Her boyfriend was the instigator, a mate and myself pulled him off someone else, she hit my mate with a bottle (20 stitches or so), then laid into me. **** her, it was about my own self preservation. No charges were ever pressed on her, Gardai just gave her a warning. She assaulted several other people on other occasions. Decent family and she has a decent job in the Civil Service as well, so it wasn't her upbringing that caused it.

Naos · 24-07-2020 11:49pm

It's an interesting question OP and ultimately, it comes down to what danger am I in and to be honest, I'd not consider gender.

Put simply, if I can restrain someone, man or woman, without receiving any harm and I choose to hit them instead, then I'm a dickhead.
Now the chances are that I can restrain more women than men, so the odds of me hitting a woman are a lot less in comparison to hitting a man.

So would I ever hit a woman? I'd really like to think I would never have to, but I'd be foolish to say no. What if she has a hammer or a knife?

Plus, if someone does try to attack me, then they're a dickhead and if they do get hurt, well then, live by the sword...

FintanMcluskey · 24-07-2020 11:53pm

Naos wrote: »

Now the chances are that I can restrain more women than men, so the odds of me hitting a woman are a lot less in comparison to hitting a man.

Genetics mean men are significantly stronger than women, so without the use of weapons, the average man can do significant damage to the average woman.

Not so can the average woman do likewise to the average man

1hnr79jr65 · 24-07-2020 11:56pm

On 2 occasions in self defense while working in a nightclub, 1 had a knife, other used a broken glass bottle, both occasions because their respective boyfriends were getting thrown out for starting fights.

When put into that situation, I don't care who you are, what your gender/sex/race/religious/whatever else is, your getting your lights turned out if my life is in danger.

Sorry about that · 25-07-2020 12:08am

Strumms wrote: »

‘Probably’ strong enough ? Probably is correct but if a girl comes at me with a knife, I’m not ‘probably’ defending myself, not ‘probably’ defending my life, I’m 100% doing whatever is necessary to enable me to walk away from that situation not injured and not dead. If somebody comes at you with a knife, which is a deadly weapon you need to presume they have intent to kill you with it. Therefore doing absolutely anything and everything in your physical power to protect your wellbeing and your life is appropriate.

While I take your point, I have never once visualised a situation where I have to defend myself from a knife attack from anyone. I've had many boyfriends, and violence has never been a factor, either in my reality, or my imagination.

A vigorous defence of overpowering these knife-wielding women is slightly unsettling.

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:14am

FintanMcluskey wrote: »

Genetics mean men are significantly stronger than women, so without the use of weapons, the average man can do significant damage to the average woman.

Not so can the average woman do likewise to the average man

Yep I agree but that's why I'd take away gender and just think that someone hitting someone when they know they're not in danger is a bit of a dickhead.

punisher5112 · 25-07-2020 12:15am

A woman no but it's getting so difficult to define these days as so many don't identify or are gender fluid.... Free game...

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:16am

Sorry about that wrote: »

While I take your point, I have never once visualised a situation where I have to defend myself from a knife attack from anyone. I've had many boyfriends, and violence has never been a factor, either in my reality, or my imagination.

A vigorous defence of overpowering these knife-wielding women is slightly unsettling.

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what you're saying, so just to clarify:

Are you saying there is such a thing as vigorous defense or being too violent against someone who comes at you with a knife?

punisher5112 · 25-07-2020 12:17am

Karen deserves it though....

Sorry about that · 25-07-2020 12:26am

Naos wrote: »

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what you're saying, so just to clarify:

Are you saying there is such a thing as vigorous defense or being too violent against someone who comes at you with a knife?

It's ok, I may have been unclear. I meant a vigorous defence of the concept.

Of course a grown man must protect himself from the knife-wielding women out there.

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:28am

Sorry about that wrote: »

It's ok, I may have been unclear. I meant a vigorous defence of the concept.

Of course a grown man must protect himself from the knife-wielding women out there.

Np thanks - so what's your position on this whole question then?

Say for example if a large & violent lady attacks a small fragile man. What shoudl the man do?

Sorry about that · 25-07-2020 12:28am

Naos wrote: »

Np thanks - so what's your position on this whole question then?

Say for example if a large & violent lady attacks a small fragile man. What shoudl the man do?

Offer her a bun.

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:31am

Sorry about that wrote: »

Offer her a bun.

Good input.

JohnDough · 25-07-2020 12:31am

Naos wrote: »

Np thanks - so what's your position on this whole question then?

Say for example if a large & violent lady attacks a small fragile man. What shoudl the man do?

Have you any examples of this happening

Sorry about that · 25-07-2020 12:33am

Naos wrote: »

Good input.

Indeed. You're talking about Jack Sprat, so I replied in the same spirit.

25-07-2020 12:42am

I wish some of the many mods across various fora would just bite the bullet and ban the OP. Pure troll.

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:42am

Sorry about that wrote: »

Indeed. You're talking about Jack Sprat, so I replied in the same spirit.

But isn't that the point? You're throwing out a catch-all 'men should not hit women' yet when are confronted with a large woman vs small man situation, refuse to answer.

So it then really boils down not to gender but to capability to defend oneself in a situation.

Naos · 25-07-2020 12:43am

JohnDough wrote: »

Have you any examples of this happening

Where a larger woman attacks a smaller man?

Man with broke phone · 25-07-2020 12:46am

Nah, can always push them away easily, no need to break their pretty faces.

Sorry about that · 25-07-2020 1:01am

Naos wrote: »

But isn't that the point? You're throwing out a catch-all 'men should not hit women' yet when are confronted with a large woman vs small man situation, refuse to answer.

So it then really boils down not to gender but to capability to defend oneself in a situation.

It's not the point. What I described as unsettling, is a thread where men anticipate and imagine situations where they'd be justified in hitting a woman. I've never seen an equivalent thread where women discuss hitting men, in any context. And men are more likely to physically abuse their partners than women.

I will continue to teach my children not to hit women; I trust their instincts to keep away from the knife-wielding types.

The information below is from women's aid UK.

From April 2014 to March 2017, 73% of victims of domestic homicides (homicides by an ex/partner or family member) were women. This contrasts with victims of non-domestic homicides, where the majority of victims were male (88%) and 12% of victims were female (ONS, 2018).
From April 2014 to March 2017 four in five female victims of domestic homicide were killed by a partner or ex-partner (239, 82%); of which the vast majority of suspects were male (238). 45 male victims were killed by a partner or ex-partner in the same time period; 7 of the suspects in these cases were male, and 38 were female (ONS, 2018).
One study of 96 cases of domestic abuse recorded by the police found that men are significantly more likely to be repeat perpetrators and significantly more likely than women to use physical violence, threats, and harassment. In a six year tracking period the majority of recorded male perpetrators (83%) had at least two incidents of recorded abuse, with many having a lot more than two and one man having 52 repeat incidents. Whereas in cases where women were recorded as the perpetrator the majority (62%) had only one incident of abuse recorded and the highest number of repeat incidents for any female perpetrator was eight. The study also found that men’s violence tended to create a context of fear and control; which was not the case when women were perpetrators. (Hester, 2013)

Stigura · 25-07-2020 1:02am

I had a good old toss the other night, whilst walking the dog. No violent women attacked me so I'm chilled AF.

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 25-07-2020 1:12am

Bill Burrs bit arguing that there's plenty of reasons to hit a woman....

....you just don't do it.

It's hilarious firstly and intently but he does cook some food for thought, especially when there is the scenario people mentioned before about a woman coming at a guy with a knife and when he defends himself, and people just see the aftermath of her crying and attack him.

This is why we need due process and try not to generalize and assess each individual case with evidence based reasoning.

People shouldn't be violent. Talk. Argue. There's not much excuse for violence at all.

Naos · 25-07-2020 1:14am

Sorry about that wrote: »

It's not the point. What I described as unsettling, is a thread where men anticipate and imagine situations where they'd be justified in hitting a woman. I've never seen an equivalent thread where women discuss hitting men, in any context. And men are more likely to physically abuse their partners than women.

I'd agree you're unlikely to see a thread like that but that's because it's different.

Why not start a thread titled 'Would you ever hit a man?' and see what responses you get back. I'd say the vast majortiy would say they would hit back, domestic abuse aside.

This is an age old question which is why it's being asked. As for your trusting of instinct to keep away from the knife-wielding types, I wish innocent stab victims had somehow been taught what you know.

Strumms · 25-07-2020 1:17am

Sorry about that wrote: »

While I take your point, I have never once visualised a situation where I have to defend myself from a knife attack from anyone. I've had many boyfriends, and violence has never been a factor, either in my reality, or my imagination.

A vigorous defence of overpowering these knife-wielding women is slightly unsettling.

Very unsettling and it would be such a rare occurrence, thankfully.

No matter your gender, no matter in turn the gender of somebody trying to hurt you, self defense is a right of everyone.

If I was assaulted/attacked by a female I can...

1) use reasonable force to defend myself, my health and wellbeing, that might include some degree of violence, retaliation.

Or

2) stand there and say..” well she is a female after all, I shouldn’t really use violence to defend myself, even though as the instinct of self preservation kicks in, as I’m in pain, as I taste blood in my mouth, nahhh she’s a female.. “

I think I value myself enough to know when to choose option 1...

Naos · 25-07-2020 1:18am

Turquoise Hexagon Sun wrote: »

Bill Burrs bit arguing that there's plenty of reasons to hit a woman....

....you just don't do it.

It's hilarious firstly and intently but he does cook some food for thought, especially when there is the scenario people mentioned before about a woman coming at a guy with a knife and when he defends himself, and people just see the aftermath of her crying and attack him.

This is why we need due process and try not to generalize and assess each individual case with evidence based reasoning.

People shouldn't be violent. Talk. Argue. There's not much excuse for violence at all.

Fully agree which is why I said if I can restrain someone, man or woman, without receiving any harm and I choose to hit them instead, then I'm a dickhead.

But vice versa if I cannot restrain someone, man or woman, without receiving any harm and I choose to hit them instead, then I'm in the clear.

Would you ever hit a woman?

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