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RIP Nikki Grahame

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Comments

  • #52
    KaneToad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,426 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    Absolutely . Anorexia nervosa is a mental health issue and covid will have huge negative effects on anyone with mental health problems

    Covid won't necessarily have negative effects on anyone with mental health problems. My friend has bipolar disorder and has thrived during Covid.

    You can't always generalise about mental health.


  • #53
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    KaneToad wrote: »
    Covid won't necessarily have negative effects on anyone with mental health problems. My friend has bipolar disorder and has thrived during Covid.

    You can't always generalise about mental health.

    Yes. While anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and Covid can certainly impact upon people who are already struggling, it's not accurate to say all will be impacted. Some people who for example would have had a lot of social anxiety feel some inner freedom within the restrictions.

    Or even just people who say "I no longer have to make up an excuse to not go out". To them I would say "you shouldn't have to feel that way to begin with, do you".


  • #54
    Ckendrick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 128 ✭✭Ckendrick


    retro:electro wrote: »
    I remember reading somewhere (this may not be true) that she failed the psych evaluation for BB3 but they done away with it by the time she reapplied. Her year was full of people who probably should not have been there

    In order to engage the viewing public they needed to gather a crowd of badly damaged souls to provide enough broadcastable antics and meltdowns.
    Like the circus.


  • #55
    donkeykong5
    Registered Users Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭donkeykong5


    RIP nikki. One of the most entertaining participants ever in big brother. At least you are at peace now.


  • #56
    Charlie19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,787 ✭✭✭✭Charlie19


    Zachary Little Phlegm wrote: »
    Probably a bit more to it than that to be fair. You're pursuing an agenda.

    Not pursuing anything of the sort, just relaying what the woman's mother said about what was a contributing factor in her daughters death.

    I'm not a fan of lockdowns, Is anyone? but I do comply with all the rules that go with it.


  • #57
    Larbre34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,357 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    I can only imagine how hard it was be to her in her own head through this awful affliction. No one deserves that much pain I think.

    Rest in peace kid, no more pain for you.


  • #58
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Mod

    Just a note to say that nobody here can say exactly what caused this relapse for Nikki. There will of course have been multiple factors. Let's try to keep this thread about Nikki, her life, your memories of her etc. rather than trying to overly scrutinize her death. There is a thread here if you would like to have a general discussion about the effects of Covid and restrictions on mental health.


  • #59
    yerwanthere123
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 7,533 Mod ✭✭✭✭yerwanthere123


    Ckendrick wrote: »
    Just watched some clips of her participation in BB.
    I presume that BB engaged a mental health professional to vet the contestants beforehand ?
    If so then that “professional” must have known perfectly well that she was far too unstable and delicate for this caper.
    If they didn’t spot it during the auditions, then it’s hard too explain why she wasn’t rumbled during the filming.
    Makes you wonder if CH4 actually sought out vulnerable people in order to create the necessary “drama” to make the show entertaining.

    They did have psychiatric evaluations on Big Brother, but as you alluded to I'd say they were a load of shíte. Nikki shouldn't have been on the show, Shahbaz from her year was another one with very obvious mental health issues. Lea Walker, also a member of the 2006 cast, has said there's no way she'd pass a psychological test for the show today. So yeah, the duty of care towards the contestants was slim to nothing.


  • #60
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Celchick wrote: »
    I worked with an anorexic/bulimic woman (thankfully recovered since). God help her it was frightening and heartbreaking. Her shocking thinness, the way she was always saying "oh I'm stuffed - I had loads to eat earlier", the way she was constantly going to the loo to make herself sick.

    Terrifying. A therapist I know who recovered from it herself said it's not even about food - it's about control, perfection, it's kinda related to OCD, and it can also be about not wanting to enter adulthood, or it can result from abuse/trauma.

    My mother used to be a nurse - she retired early because cases like this (including boys too) were just too upsetting for her to handle anymore. And she's a tough woman.

    A nightmare of a disease. Poor Nikki and her family - and all going through the same.

    Oh my god..what a heartbreaking post:(
    Nothing to add but Rip Nikki. Really saddened by this.


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  • #61
    dd973
    Registered Users Posts: 625 ✭✭✭dd973


    Don't really follow Celeb culture but watched BB the first few years it came out, spotted the Go Fund Me to support her recently which came with pictures that warned you about seeing them, clicked on them thinking they can't be that bad, when I did, Jesus! :eek:

    Sad story, 38 is no age, RIP.


  • #62
    IngridM20
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭IngridM20


    85603 wrote: »
    Shocked that I actually recognized the name. After all the years, plus I hated that BB shyte.

    Looked at a best of clip of her meltdowns just now, and yeah she was clearly very mal-adjusted to adult life, very histrionic and dramatic. Childish, attention seeking tantrums.

    Something was very wrong whether it was psychiatric/physiology or just her

    personality/behavior.
    The anorexia must have been related to whatever was going on, horrible illness. She deserved better.


    This. It’s amazing they let her on, looking back. But she said that it was great for her.


  • #63
    IngridM20
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭IngridM20


    RIP Nikki. I don’t watch BB now (!) but I did when I was young and enjoyed the one she was on (2006) She was very entertaining!

    I had an eating disorder for 7ish years too, around that time, so I related to her. I acted a tad mental also so I understood her flip outs. I’m out of that now and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. A very misunderstood illness. I hope she’s at peace now. 🕊


  • #64
    DerekC16
    Registered Users Posts: 183 ✭✭DerekC16


    I seen a video of her a couple of weeks ago, it was horrific.

    Very sad. RIP


  • #65
    IngridM20
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭IngridM20


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    I think poor Nikki wanted to stay a little girl forever. The older she got the less physical resemblance to a child she had, the less tolerance her childish behaviour would find. The uncertainty around Covid and her vulnerability to it must have sent her compulsion to restrict her food intake into overdrive. It's such a tragic life and death.

    Yes. She was on Good Morning Britain alongside her therapist. The therapist said she knew she’d be dealing with the mindset of a 7/8 year old as that’s when the eating disorder began. 30 years of it. So sad. 😔


  • #66
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,654 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.

    I can't speak for everyone and I can't speak for anorexia but it's not always purely done to self image alone. It can be a coping mechanism...having an element of control over something. It may be the manifestation of something deeper and its very much a mental thing. The mind plays tricks on you. You can justify anything really. Especially if admitting that behaviours are wrong is the far scarier alternative.

    I say that as someone who had an eating disorder for years but fortunately not to the degree Nikki Graham had.

    There is no logic to it to anyone outside of the person who is suffering and it's not always purely a manifestation of body image alone.


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  • #67
    Ckendrick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 128 ✭✭Ckendrick


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.

    Unless you have a professional medical qualification with experience in the field of ocd/eating disorders or you’ve suffered from an eating disorder yourself then you wouldn’t be expected to “understand anorexia”.
    It’s a complex mental health issue which, amongst other things, disables the sufferers ability to think in a logical manner.
    When you look at a sufferer you see an emaciated creature. When they look at themselves in the mirror they don’t see that.


  • #68
    frosty123
    Registered Users Posts: 565 ✭✭✭frosty123


    A real beauty in her day

    May she RIP


  • #69
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I was just thinking her death might help raise awareness for people suffering with anorexia and how it can ultimately end as I think it's been a bit of a shock for a lot of people finding out that she has died. I watched a video of her ex from the show Pete Bennett paying tribute to her. He's heartbroken. Very sad altogether. Life can be cruel.


  • #70
    bitofabind
    Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    RIP Nikki. What a horrible way to go. I hope her death brings about some awareness of eating disorders, they are so badly misunderstood, even often by the health services. I suffered badly with some issues as a teenager, I’ll never forget being told “but you look great” or “I know you’ll be ok because you’re not as bad as most people who walk through these doors” by Ireland’s then top eating disorder psychiatrist. I was 19 and terrified by the complete lack of control I had on my mind and my behaviours. They are such a lonely, scary disease and the reaction to them can by the general public just be so triggering.

    And to echo someone else - they’re not about food, they’re so much deeper and more complicated. My experience was not that I looked in the mirror and saw someone “fat”, moreso that if I started eating again and letting go of these compulsive behaviours, I would become “fat”, it’s a prison of your own mind.


  • #71
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I remember watching her on one of those celebrity therapist shows and she discussed her battle with anorexia and it all began when she was a little girl, her parents were splitting up and she stopped eating because she thought the longer she could stay little and infantilise herself, maybe her parents would stay together. It was her way of trying to control the situation and her battle continued on and off for years. Her mother was on tv a few weeks ago and said the lockdown was very challenging for Nikki as all her supports like the gym were taken away. Usually what would be keeping her going was planning trips with friends and having people around her able to keep an eye on her. It seems she just spiralled, the poor thing.


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