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Why did my guy friend shake my hand?

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  • 25-05-2019 6:32pm
    #1
    Sydney44
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭


    My friend and I had hung out together. We both sat down across from each other and he started touching his face with his hand. At first he started tugging on the collar of his shirt for a few seconds, then he started rubbing his mouth area and the sides of his face with his hand throughout the start of our conversation.

    Soon after, he started copying my actions. I was touching my lips with the palm of my hand while resting my elbow on the table and soon after he had done the same while I was doing it. Or if I cracked my knuckles, he'd crack his knuckles.

    He and I had a really good talk with each other. Before I left, he stuck out his hand for a handshake and I shook it. He's never done that to me before and it's not like I was leaving him forever, just for a month. We plan on seeing each other more after I get back. We've given each other hugs before in the past. Why did he do that?
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    #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sydney44 wrote:
    He and I had a really good talk with each other. Before I left, he stuck out his hand for a handshake and I shook it. He's never done that to me before and it's not like I was leaving him forever, just for a month. We plan on seeing each other more after I get back. We've given each other hugs before in the past. Why did he do that?

    Ask him? You are really overthinking things. Seems like you like him. Tell him


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    #3
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,684 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    Awkward "best of luck" handshake?
    As above, without a whole lot to go on background wise, I'm inclined to think you like him.
    If that's the craic and he's single perhaps put it out there that you like him?
    Best a luck


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    #4
    Sydney44
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭Sydney44


    Panthro wrote: »
    Awkward "best of luck" handshake?
    As above, without a whole lot to go on background wise, I'm inclined to think you like him.
    If that's the craic and he's single perhaps put it out there that you like him?
    Best a luck

    He does have a girlfriend. His gf doesn't know about me though, since we've never met. But, it just seemed unusual for him to do that towards me since we'd usually hug as a form of a goodbye at times. I've known him for five years and we've been close friends.


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    #5
    tony1kenobi
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭tony1kenobi


    I do this all the time. What happened is, he shaved that morning with his razor that,unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend had just used on legs and other places.

    This will blunt the blade as men’s razors are not meant for legs and other places. Different sort of hair see. Different sort of blade.

    Over the day his face became more and more irritated and on his way to meet you, it was so hot and sunny, it exacerbated the irritation to the point he couldn’t leave it alone.
    It’s an awful feeling.
    That is why he was at himself the whole time and at the end of the evening he didn’t want to hug as he was of the thinking that the coarse material on your over garment might catch on his exposed and painful neck.
    So he offered you his hand. As any gentleman would.
    That is why he did it. No other reason.


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    #6
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    In some cultures a handshake is performed between men and also between men and women. But in Russia for example its unusual to shake hands for women even with a man.

    A handshake tells you something about the person.
    It has been discovered as a part of a research in the Weizmann Institute, that human handshakes serve as a means of transferring social chemical signals between the shakers. It appears that there is a tendency to bring the shaken hands to the vicinity of the nose and smell them. They may serve an evolutionary need to learn about the person whose hand was shaken, replacing a more overt sniffing behavior, as is common among animals and in certain human cultures (such as Tuvalu, Greenland or rural Mongolia, where a quick sniff is part of the traditional greeting ritual).


    Who initiates a handshake can signal seniority with the senior initiating first.

    Maybe subconsciously he wanted to suss you out in that moment.

    The copying what you did is mirroring. When you see someone yawn you want to yawn it actually makes you feel you want to yawn. In the same way you see someone rub their neck yours might feel tight. When you see someone scratch you kind of feel the scratch. Contagious yawning and mirror neurons. When you see a yawn your brain simulates it.

    Face rubbing indicates stress along with collar tugging..or his face is irritated like tony1kenobi said..but him mirroring you indicates he relaxed

    You observe people very closely. That's very interesting.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Sydney44 wrote: »
    He does have a girlfriend. His gf doesn't know about me though, since we've never met. But, it just seemed unusual for him to do that towards me since we'd usually hug as a form of a goodbye at times. I've known him for five years and we've been close friends.

    Just because you've never met, doesn't mean she doesn't know about you.

    Honestly, it sounds like you fancy him and you're looking for people on here to confirm that. You say you're close friends, but for me a handshake is somewhat impersonal. Maybe he's picking up on the fact that you have the hots for him and he's trying to distance himself. If it is a case that you are attracted to him then just remember he has a girlfriend and you two are meant to be friends - don't even go there.


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    #8
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,768 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    My husband has never met a few of my friends. He still knows about them through me talking about them.

    It's clear you fancy him. And it's clear you think/hope that he fancies you. From what you've said here I wouldn't read a whole lot in to his actions. For the record, I would not notice quite so closely all the tiny actions my friend would do in the course of conversation. You are very clearly looking for something and the fact that you're looking for something means you think you've found it.

    I think he knows you fancy him and is conscious of not giving you the wrong idea. A hand shake is very impersonal between good friends. But maybe he was trying to discourage you from getting personal.


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    #9
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    I don’t know. My instinct would be that he has recently felt uncomfortable around you, and decided to not hug you, and instead make things a little more impersonal by shaking your hand instead.

    Have you been coming on a little strong to him?


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    #10
    Sydney44
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭Sydney44


    qwerty13 wrote: »
    I don’t know. My instinct would be that he has recently felt uncomfortable around you, and decided to not hug you, and instead make things a little more impersonal by shaking your hand instead.

    Have you been coming on a little strong to him?

    Not that I am aware of. I had talked to him about recently attempting to begin a relationship with someone, but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with how he's acting towards me.


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    #11
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Following along here not sure what to say. But are you confirming you are into him then by not correcting anyone putting that to you? It’s quite a big question to just ignore like.


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    #12
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,768 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Do you fancy him?


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    #13
    Sydney44
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭Sydney44


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Do you fancy him?

    A little bit, yes.


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    #14
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sydney44 wrote:
    A little bit, yes.

    Well give it up. He's not interested and knows you are.

    Harsh but true.


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    #15
    Annani
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Annani


    Sydney44 wrote: »
    A little bit, yes.

    Sounds like he has picked up on that and because he is with someone he didn’t want to lead you on with a hug.


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    #16
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Yeah that’s it then OP, sadly. It may not even be that he’s not interested or doesn’t fancy you, but he does have a girlfriend and needs to keep a boundary there. Maybe his weird actions were because he said something to her about having a feeling you liked him and a conversation was had so he was conscious of needing to keep boundaries, or something along those lines. But, whatever the case, not good and it’s worth focusing on other stuff instead.


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    #17
    Wabbit Ears
    Registered Users Posts: 3,042 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    When I read the OP I was straight away sure the guy was just plain wasted.

    Clammy skin, cotton mouth, shaking hands with someone when you never so that( hes gonna cringe in the shower about that for the rest of his life).


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