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Would you date a woman who earns considerably more than you?

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    #62
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

    No, your firmer boobs are grateful.
    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

    Everyone should aim to date someone who earns more than them.

    Marry for love money?

    Nah.


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    #63
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Deleted User wrote: »
    No, your firmer boobs are grateful.



    Marry for love money?

    Nah.

    Well obv if you don't love them you aren't going to marry them.

    Its just i hope you are not going to waste time with someone not pulling their weight.


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    #64
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Go Home Paddy Cat!! wrote: »
    Yes it would be an issue for me. As a bloke Id feel really insecure and would worry she'd flit off with some other fella as money wouldnt be the selling point for attracting another male.

    That could happen anyway, women face far less consequence in relationships and marriage


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    #65
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    But what has that got do with it?

    Think about it logically. If she takes a career break etc. She will till be going back to higher paying job.

    If she chooses to stay at home etc. You will still have the benefit of her earnings from before. And if she decides to go back to work or has to etc she will have a better change of greater earning power.


    People are taught that the most moral thing to do is marry for love forsaking other considerations. But that is just not true. And it results it many people staying beneath a reasonable standard of living sometimes for generations.

    Plus if you marry someone successful in their career studies have shown it actually helps not only YOUR career but your children's too.

    I am not saying poor people don't have the right to love at all. More that they have the right to choose the partner that best serves their longtime well being and happiness.

    If you are an unemployed guy don't go for an unemployed girl. If you are an unemployed girl don't go for an unemployed guy. Its a recipe for disaster.

    While you do have to take responsibility for your own finances that does include taking into consideration the finances of your partner too.

    Culture telling poor people to marry other poor people for love keeps them poor.

    Be a go getter marry a go getter.

    And if you want to marry who you want .......you better be a go go go go go getter.

    And i want to marry who i want. Do i as say not as i do.

    Most men have to settle, beit looks or the net wealth of their spouse

    People have far fewer options than is commonly portrayed

    High net worth women have their pick of men unless they look like ivana back


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    #66
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Mad_maxx wrote: »

    People have far fewer options than is commonly portrayed


    Nonsense Dublin is a city of thousands unless you are picky or just difficult.


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    #67
    Lackadaisical
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭Lackadaisical


    In my experience anyway, and I could be wrong but it's just my experience of my own male friends and being an Irishman myself, I don't really think most Irishmen are all that bothered how much their other half earns.

    I mean, who sees their Mrs (or Mr) as the competition to be kept up with? It seems a very American concept where everyone's valued by their earning potential / net worth.

    I can't imagine being somehow intimidated by someone earning more than me. It doesn't really make any sense. I also know quite a few guys who've spouses who bring in a lot more than they do and guys who are the primary carer for kids and run small businesses on the side and so on.

    Actually one guy I'm thinking of in particular runs a household and very small agribusiness (more of a cottage industry / lifestyle type thing), while his wife is a high-powered corporate type and both of them are extremely happy. I know plenty of others who've quite unbalanced incomes, in favour of their wife/partner.

    I know guys who are married to successful businesswomen (and a man in one case), people who've done really well in academia and a few public figures and they're, in all cases, really proud of them and tend to actually talk up their other half a lot and never shut up about them. So, I dunno about this whole hang up about going out with or being married to a high earning woman as being any kind of an issue.

    I mean, your relationship's a partnership, not a financial transaction or competition. I'd be a bit worried about a relationship where one party was constantly comparing how much they had with the other - isn't the whole point that you pool your resources, support each other and make the best of both?

    It would seem to me like if you're jealous of your other half, it's a personal self-confidence / ego problem that you might want to have a think about.


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    #68
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,561 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    At the dating stage it could be a problem, if one partner feels they need to 'keep up' with the other even if they can't really afford that. Stereotypical attitudes about the man as 'provider' might feed into that too.

    Once you are in a relationship for a while, and especially after marriage, it really shouldn't be an issue as it'll usually be viewed as shared or pooled money.


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    #69
    KathleenGrant
    Registered Users Posts: 3,777 ✭✭✭KathleenGrant


    Didn't even read the thread but just had to comment as a female in a reasonably high paying job. When I date/live with a man how he behaves and treats me is everything. If he earns minimum wage I couldn't care less. I was dealt a good hand in life, intelligence, ambition, a family who supported me. Not everyone had the same chances I did. Money means nothing.


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    #70
    Lackadaisical
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭Lackadaisical


    Different people also have different interests, focuses and aptitudes and money isn't everything.

    I know in my own case, I don't even know how much money I earn until the end of the tax year, as I literally pay no attention to it as long as there's enough there.

    I don't think I even calculate what other people earn when I get talking to them - it'd be WAY down my list of things to talk about.

    I just remember when I lived I the US, I always found that money and calculating how much someone was worth seemed to be a national pastime. It gets old fast.

    I also lived in France and it's the other extreme and I've seen a US woman literally cause conversations to die (en Français) by starting to ask way too much about people's careers (in a money calculating kind of way not in a wow: that's really interesting that you're a (insert topic) kind of way) It's pretty much seen as crass/rude/extremely shallow and I don't think Ireland's all that much different.


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    #71
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Nonsense Dublin is a city of thousands unless you are picky or just difficult.

    Do you think most beautiful women want a guy who earns much less than them?


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    #72
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Do you think most beautiful women want a guy who earns much less than them?

    Plenty of them.

    If the guy is good looking nice etc.


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    #73
    KathleenGrant
    Registered Users Posts: 3,777 ✭✭✭KathleenGrant


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Do you think most beautiful women want a guy who earns much less than them?

    Beautiful women instead of women...says it all really. If men are that shallow they deserve the same back


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    #74
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Plenty of them.

    If the guy is good looking nice etc.

    Most guys are average looking, proving my earlier point that most guys have to settle


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    #75
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    KathleenGrant wrote: »
    Beautiful women instead of women...says it all really. If men are that shallow they deserve the same back

    Just being honest, majority of people are shallow in numerous ways


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    #76
    KathleenGrant
    Registered Users Posts: 3,777 ✭✭✭KathleenGrant


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Most guys are average looking, proving my earlier point that most guys have to settle

    Says it all


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    #77
    Reviews and Books Galore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    Not unless I was a stay at home father, if the woman was older or if the woman was foreign and I was a toyboy.

    Otherwise, I feel like it would lead to friction.


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    #78
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Most guys are average looking, proving my earlier point that most guys have to settle

    I am gonna be real.

    There are exceptions. I have seen actual models with average looking guys with no money. But they treated those girls like queens. Anything they had they spent on them. The girls would usually refuse to let them spend money etc. But it was the fact they offered.

    They were the dream guys etc. Even tho they don't look typically good looking.


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    #79
    Reviews and Books Galore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Plenty of them.

    If the guy is good looking nice etc.

    I've noticed a phenomenon of ladies from a central European could try dating immigrant toyboys from an eastern country.

    Interestingly, women in high power positions do seem to like younger toyboys in the same way men do.


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    #80
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »
    I've noticed a phenomenon of ladies from a central European could try dating immigrant toyboys from an eastern country.

    Interestingly, women in high power positions do seem to like younger toyboys in the same way men do.


    I would say its the other way around. Women from Asia with high powered jobs dating central European men?? I don't think it could be the other way around for several reasons.

    Asian men are quite traditional and like to court women they don't like to be treated like women. Central european could be a large area though. If you mean German women yes i have seen that too.

    I don't think it could be the other way around.

    People in higher powered positions don't have the time to court people they need to be courted.

    Or maybe its an A type personality thing.


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    #81
    Reviews and Books Galore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    banie01 wrote: »
    I've done the stay at home dad thing, and the single parent part of parenting, 6 nearly 7 years of just me and my boy ;)

    I've never been mocked, and I have been put thru some ferocious slagging and gallows humour from my friends ;)

    Even on here, I've never encountered anything approaching a sneer, let alone derision.

    But back to the topic in hand ;)

    My Mrs earns considerably more than me at present.
    There's me, lonely single parent who married upwards :P

    I'd love to be a stay at home father. I took care of my siblings growing up smd it was quite a happy time tbh.

    Maybe I should hitch up with an Irish lass :P


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    #82
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »
    I'd love to be a stay at home father. I took care of my siblings growing up smd it was quite a happy time tbh.

    Maybe I should hitch up with an Irish lass :P
    Do it. Find your ideal counterpart :)


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    #83
    Kamu
    Registered Users Posts: 503 ✭✭✭Kamu


    Just to note a couple of things people have mentioned previously.

    Money is everything, up until a point. That point being when the person knows that they are paid enough to afford all their expenses and if something was to unexpectedly come up, would not nearly bankrupt them.
    Until then, financial issues and living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and has ended many a serious relationship.

    So if someone was to consider the earning capacity of a potential partner as a strong factor, I understand completely.

    I personally would have no issue dating a person who earned more, or was dating a person who earned less. As long as they were earning.

    An issue that might arise when dating a person who earned considerably more is that they may have a more expensive taste. I personally don't particularly like going to restaurants or designer goods, for example.
    As long as tastes, pass-times, and plans coincide, there should be no reason not to date a person who earned differently.


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    #84
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    KathleenGrant wrote: »
    Beautiful women instead of women...says it all really. If men are that shallow they deserve the same back
    Everybody is "shallow" as you call it and the more choices they have the "shallower" they tend to be. It's rarely deliberate, more instinctive. I guarantee you have features you find physically attractive in men and would be put off men who didn't have those features. Are you shallow?

    Never mind that, why would a man be with a woman he didn't find beautiful/sexually attractive? Some sort of duty to the sisterhood or something?
    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    I am gonna be real.
    Unlikely, but pulls up chair for the craic...
    There are exceptions. I have seen actual models with average looking guys with no money. But they treated those girls like queens. Anything they had they spent on them. The girls would usually refuse to let them spend money etc. But it was the fact they offered.

    They were the dream guys etc. Even tho they don't look typically good looking.
    Dream guys? In most cases like that, which tend to be very rare anyway, the guys are more likely to be suckers because they think they got lucky with someone so much better looking. Again rare as countless studies down the decades have shown that people tend to pair up with those of a similar background, education and looks/overall attractiveness to each other. It's rare to see a couple where one is significantly better looking than the other.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #85
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Wibbs wrote: »
    .

    Again rare as countless studies down the decades have shown that people tend to pair up with those of a similar background, education and looks/overall attractiveness to each other.
    My group of couple friends are TOTALLY the opposite of this.

    But yes beauty is an advantage in life. You can overcome it though if you don't have it.

    Yes good looking people have more choices so do wealthy people. That's life.

    There are exceptions though.


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    #86
    Reviews and Books Galore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    I would say its the other way around. Women from Asia with high powered jobs dating central European men?? I don't think it could be the other way around for several reasons.

    Asian men are quite traditional and like to court women they don't like to be treated like women. Central european could be a large area though. If you mean German women yes i have seen that too.

    I don't think it could be the other way around.

    People in higher powered positions don't have the time to court people they need to be courted.

    Or maybe its an A type personality thing.

    Actually, Asain women marry down to foreign men a lot. I know a lot of men who've been told by their wife 'that they do not have to work' as the woman can support both of them.

    We often hear how patriarchal these cultures are, but, IMO, women have less barriers to work and there's less of s push to be a stay at home mother.

    I agree what your saying about northern asain men. They do want to be the man with the car and apartment, but there is a phenomenon of Chinese/South korean women wanting a bouncy puppy man :P

    But, I was more talking about the men from a wrstern part of an eastern eiropean country being in a relationship with high powered women. I wonder do you know the country that I'm talking about?


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    #87
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    I am gonna be real.

    There are exceptions. I have seen actual models with average looking guys with no money. But they treated those girls like queens. Anything they had they spent on them. The girls would usually refuse to let them spend money etc. But it was the fact they offered.

    They were the dream guys etc. Even tho they don't look typically good looking.

    Tiny outliers which tell us nothing


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    #88
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Tiny outliers which tell us nothing
    Treat a high earning woman like a princess.

    Treat a beautiful woman like a princess. 9 out of ten times it will work eventually.


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    #89
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »
    Actually, Asain women marry down to foreign men a lot. I know a lot of men who've been told by their wife 'that they do not have to work' as the woman can support both of them.

    We often hear how patriarchal these cultures are, but, IMO, women have less barriers to work and there's less of s push to be a stay at home mother.

    I agree what your saying about northern asain men. They do want to be the man with the car and apartment, but there is a phenomenon of Chinese/South korean women wanting a bouncy puppy man :P

    But, I was more talking about the men from a wrstern part of an eastern eiropean country being in a relationship with high powered women. I wonder do you know the country that I'm talking about?
    Well that is weird ...i know a lot of asian people and they are the opposite. And to get married in china the guy pretty much has to buy a house. All on his own. Foreign men are no exception even if she is working. He has to buy a house all on his own.

    The women do have jobs etc. But the men pay for most of it.


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    #90
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    What does "treating someone like a princess', entail?


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    #91
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Treat a high earning woman like a princess.

    Treat a beautiful woman like a princess. 9 out of ten times it will work eventually.
    If the man is fond of becoming a doormat.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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