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Would you date a woman who earns considerably more than you?

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  • 17-08-2019 9:56pm
    #1
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭


    After posting in the thread where the genders were reversed, and an earlier conversation, I thought I'd ask for opinions.

    I've been in a relationship where this was an issue, and have heard Male friends say they'd feel emasculated.

    So is this generally an issue?
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



«134567

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    #2
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    And be a kept man????


    ...absolutely.


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    #3
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Grayditch wrote: »
    And be a kept man????


    ...absolutely.

    How much would it cost to keep you?

    Asking for a friend.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Slightly more, that would be annoying... Shìtloads more, yeah could live with that.


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    #5
    Experience_day
    Registered Users Posts: 359 ✭✭Experience_day


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    After posting in the thread where the genders were reversed, and an earlier conversation, I thought I'd ask for opinions.

    I've been in a relationship where this was an issue, and have heard Male friends say they'd feel emasculated.

    So is this generally an issue?


    err, so we both have more money as a household? What possible downside is there? :confused:


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    #6
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Slightly more, that would be annoying... Shìtloads more, yeah could live with that.

    Why the distinction?
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #7
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,517 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Grayditch wrote: »
    And be a kept man????


    ...absolutely.

    Word for fúcking word the reply I had in my head, ready to type when I saw the thread title!

    Get
    Out
    Of
    My
    Head...

    Ya psychic Bollox Grayditch :P


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    #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    Why the distinction?

    A suitably high differential would compensate nicely for my feelings of inadequacy.


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    #9
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    A suitably high differential would compensate nicely for my feelings of inadequacy.

    And what would consider a suitably high differential to be?

    Also, why would you feel inadequate?
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #10
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Have done. Have been the one earning considerably more too. No problem for me going either direction. I'd only have a problem if they did, again going in either direction.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #11
    Arghus
    Registered Users Posts: 14,365 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Without a moments hesitation.


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    #12
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    And what would consider a suitably high differential to be?

    Also, why would you feel inadequate?

    50 to €100k pa extra would be nice. Only slightly more, no financial benefit, but lose that "trumps" category. :)

    Wouldn't really feel inadequate.


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    #13
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Well all the men here are clearly of a more progressive bent.
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #14
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Why would it matter? The premise is the same as in the other thread. There's a severe insecurity in anybody, of either sex, who has an issue with an other in the relationship earning more or less than them.


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    #15
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    No problem with it, would be like anything else though if it became a thing where they constantly brought it up I’d be thinking it’s not going to work out.


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    #16
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,871 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Most households have to have 2 incomes now to keep afloat so its always going to be one earning more than the other, most couples will just want to take home the most they can.


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    #17
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    The issue seems to stem from an old fashioned view that the man should be the provider. I'd agree that it shouldn't be an issue and does correspond to low self esteem.

    The ironic thing is that men i know who have an issue are the gym body obsessed types, so it's probably just another outward appearance issue.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #18
    abff
    Registered Users Posts: 5,722 ✭✭✭abff


    As others have said, it's really only an issue if the one who earns more keeps harping on about it.


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    #19
    buckwheat
    Registered Users Posts: 344 ✭✭buckwheat


    Would surely once she was the sharing type:cool:

    Wish my wife earned loads. Useless bitch:mad:


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    #20
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    The issue seems to stem from an old fashioned view that the man should be the provider. I'd agree that it shouldn't be an issue and does correspond to low self esteem.

    The ironic thing is that men i know who have an issue are the gym body obsessed types, so it's probably just another outward appearance issue.


    I don’t think that’s an old fashioned view though when it’s still something that a lot of people practice? I’d be of that view, but it doesn’t mean I’d be insecure about it if a woman I was dating earned more than me. The kind of people who have insecurities about these things are fuelled by a different motivation entirely, usually the need to be in control of the relationship and have the other person completely dependent upon them.

    There’s nothing wrong IMO with a man seeing himself as the provider and nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be provided for. It’s only ever an issue if one of them feels insecure or unhappy in themselves.


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    #21
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    buckwheat wrote: »
    Would surely once she was the sharing type:cool:

    Wish my wife earned loads. Useless bitch:mad:

    :pac:

    Now, now, caveat emptor, you should have know that before getting hitched.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #22
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I don’t think that’s an old fashioned view though when it’s still something that a lot of people practice? I’d be of that view, but it doesn’t mean I’d be insecure about it if a woman I was dating earned more than me. The kind of people who have insecurities about these things are fuelled by a different motivation entirely, usually the need to be in control of the relationship and have the other person completely dependent upon them.

    There’s nothing wrong IMO with a man seeing himself as the provider and nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be provided for. It’s only ever an issue if one of them feels insecure or unhappy in themselves.

    Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

    On a serious note, I'd have thought it more common for both to work. I understand that one might earn more, but a lot of that is women expected to be the primary carer for children.

    Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #23
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,517 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Leg End Reject wrote: »

    Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.

    I've done the stay at home dad thing, and the single parent part of parenting, 6 nearly 7 years of just me and my boy ;)

    I've never been mocked, and I have been put thru some ferocious slagging and gallows humour from my friends ;)

    Even on here, I've never encountered anything approaching a sneer, let alone derision.

    But back to the topic in hand ;)

    My Mrs earns considerably more than me at present.
    There's me, lonely single parent who married upwards :P


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    #24
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Banie, you're the stuff of fairytales and legends!
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #25
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Not only would I date a woman who earned more than me, but I'd seek her affections purely for that reason, propose to her pronto, marry her without a smidgen of sincere endearment on my part, then covertly bump her off the cruise ship on our honeymoon and put it down to a forceful gale. Honestly OP, have a look at yourself.


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    #26
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Sheridan81 wrote: »
    Not only would I date a woman who earned more than me, but I'd seek her affections purely for that reason, propose to her pronto, marry her without a smidgen of sincere endearment on my part, then covertly bump her off the cruise ship on our honeymoon and put it down to a forceful gale. Honestly OP, have a look at yourself.
    I'm looking Sheridan, what should I be seeing?
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #27
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

    On a serious note, I'd have thought it more common for both to work. I understand that one might earn more, but a lot of that is women expected to be the primary carer for children.

    Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.


    I genuinely don’t know the stats on how common it is or isn’t now that two people in a relationship are working or not, but according to the Irish Central Statistics Office at least, 98% of stay at home parents in 2016 are women -


    Nearly all of the people (98%) who were looking after home or family in 2016 were women although the number of men in this grouping nearly doubled in the ten years up to 2016, rising from 4,900 to 9,200.


    Things all go a bit arseways if we get into employment and wage gaps and all that stuff but no, you didn’t burn that bra for nothing... *cough* :D


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    #28
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    How much would it cost to keep you?

    Asking for a friend.


    Double pack of Jaffa Cakes per week and my own Netflix log in.


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    #29
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,467 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Grayditch wrote: »
    Double pack of Jaffa Cakes per week and my own Netflix log in.

    Cheap at twice the price! Get yer coat, you've pulled. My friend of course ...
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    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #30
    BDI
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    anewme wrote: »
    Most households have to have 2 incomes now to keep afloat so its always going to be one earning more than the other, most couples will just want to take home the most they can.

    I remember when they told us women need to work to be independent. Now they need to stay in relationships to be able to live comfortably.

    Economics eh.


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    #31
    Tikki Wang Wang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 332 ✭✭Tikki Wang Wang


    Yes so she can pay for my seeds


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