Need to get out of my parents house

antimatterx · 26-01-2020 8:51pm #1

Hi

I feel like I need to move out of my parents house. I love my family, but I don't link living with them all the time. I need my own space.

I'm 24, I having been working full time as a software engineer for the last 16 months. I make 32K year (second job, first salary was very low). I have 13K in savings and even the fact that I can save 1700 a month, it doesn't feel like in getting anywhere close to a deposit. I should be on round 40K in so I should be able to save 2000/2100 a month then.

There's apartments near me in Dublin for around the 210K. Even though they're cheap, financing one will around another 18 months.

I'm in Dublin have no interest in leaving Dublin, and I can't afford to rent on my own.

Any advice?

handlemaster · 26-01-2020 8:54pm

antimatterx wrote: »

Hi

I feel like I need to move out of my parents house. I love my family, but I don't link living with them all the time. I need my own space.

I'm 24, I having been working full time as a software engineer for the last 16 months. I make 32K year (second job, first salary was very low). I have 13K in savings and even the fact that I can save 1700 a month, it doesn't feel like in getting anywhere close to a deposit. I should be on round 40K in so I should be able to save 2000/2100 a month then.

There's apartments near me in Dublin for around the 210K. Even though they're cheap, financing one will around another 18 months.

Any advice?

Rent

colm_mcm · 26-01-2020 8:55pm

Step back from it and recognise that the only reason you’re in a position to save is that you’re not paying rent.
Keep doing what you’re doing for another while and you’ll be in the fortunate position to have your on home (well mortgage anyway!) at a relatively early age.

Eric Cartman · 26-01-2020 8:58pm

house share, should be able to get something living with others for 5-600 a month. If you don't want to live with others then youre stuck where you are, but house sharing is fun in your 20s and you can make a lot of good friends.

accensi0n · 26-01-2020 9:25pm

Eric Cartman wrote: »

house share, should be able to get something living with others for 5-600 a month. If you don't want to live with others then youre stuck where you are, but house sharing is fun in your 20s and you can make a lot of good friends.

Do the above, enjoy life (But also save). Also, get a promotion or switch jobs in 8-12 months time to get a pay bump, you'll have over 2 years experience then.

893bet · 26-01-2020 9:56pm

colm_mcm wrote: »

Step back from it and recognise that the only reason you’re in a position to save is that you’re not paying rent.
Keep doing what you’re doing for another while and you’ll be in the fortunate position to have your on home (well mortgage anyway!) at a relatively early age.

This. Stick it out and save as much as possible.

Be thankful your folks are happy to have you.

Cyrus · 26-01-2020 11:09pm

Move out and house share like everyone else did in their 20s .

Not being able to buy your own place at 24 is normal

26-01-2020 11:43pm

Stay where you are and keep saving to buy your own place, moving out is throwing away money for nothing but to live in a place that won’t be as nice as home sharing with strangers.

Plenty of people stay living at home rather than move out into houseshares and having lived in then for a while I’d have much preferred to have been living at home.

Wesser · 27-01-2020 12:11am

Share with others. its normal at your age.

Assetbacked · 27-01-2020 1:46am

24 and living at home? You'd be better off growing up and moving on from your parents. Financially, you can achieve it by renting whilst still saving so go for it.

Samuel T. Cogley · 27-01-2020 9:20am

I'd be staying put, saving like mad and looking to buy in 24 months time.

Wildly Boaring · 27-01-2020 9:29am

I'd house share.
Did until 27 or 28. Then rented with the missus.

Personally I'd be heading off for a year or two too. Get couple years work behind you and head to oz or Canada or even london for a bit of a different experience.

House share and work where you go.
You can still save money once you work.
World is your oyster.

You could buy in 2 years and end up living in dublin from cradle to grave. Ugh

Salary Negotiator · 27-01-2020 9:32am

You've really only got 3 choices;

Stay where you are and buy in 18 months
Move out, house-share and buy in 36-48 months
Ask the bank of mum and dad to help you out.

Changing jobs and getting pay increases may shorten the timescales but the options stay the same.

I'd stay where I was, 18 months isn't that long.

machaseh · 27-01-2020 9:35am

antimatterx wrote: »

Hi

I feel like I need to move out of my parents house. I love my family, but I don't link living with them all the time. I need my own space.

I'm 24, I having been working full time as a software engineer for the last 16 months. I make 32K year (second job, first salary was very low). I have 13K in savings and even the fact that I can save 1700 a month, it doesn't feel like in getting anywhere close to a deposit. I should be on round 40K in so I should be able to save 2000/2100 a month then.

There's apartments near me in Dublin for around the 210K. Even though they're cheap, financing one will around another 18 months.

I'm in Dublin have no interest in leaving Dublin, and I can't afford to rent on my own.

Any advice?

A quick calculation teaches that you can have those 40 k in about 16 months or so. Are you able to stay with mommy and daddy for one more year?

whiskeyman · 27-01-2020 9:39am

There's people 10 years older than you in worse positions.
I'd keep saving and stay for another year or so at least.

Yes it'd be great to move out, but things aren't like years ago.
Rents are stupid and property prices are mad.
You need to prioritise the deposit and saving.

ECO_Mental · 27-01-2020 9:47am

You are young starting out on your career, you will probably move jobs for promotion and pay rises multiple times over the next few years. This could mean moving to the other end of the country or another country. Do you really want to tie yourself down and buy a small crappy apartment that will have trouble selling afterwards....

Like the rest of the people say, rent a room in a house for a few years have the craic meet new people. It gives you the flexibility to move and change jobs also as you see fit. Everybody does it.

Steer55 · 27-01-2020 10:15am

Stay at home, you are only 24, many people much older than you are still staying at home. Do a spending diary, see where your money is going. Save, save like mad and by the time you reach the young age of 26, you will a proud home owner and spared the ordeal of having to live in shared accommodation. Sharing suits some people but if the majority had the choice, they much rather the privacy and independence of having their very own home.

Cyrus · 27-01-2020 11:15am

Steer55 wrote: »

Stay at home, you are only 24, many people much older than you are still staying at home. Do a spending diary, see where your money is going. Save, save like mad and by the time you reach the young age of 26, you will a proud home owner and spared the ordeal of having to live in shared accommodation. Sharing suits some people but if the majority had the choice, they much rather the privacy and independence of having their very own home.

even if that means living with mummy and daddy until they are 26/27/28

thats when you should be living life, making your way in the world not watching the late late with your parents and having your mother wash your pants.

irelandrover · 27-01-2020 11:22am

Steer55 wrote: »

Stay at home, you are only 24, many people much older than you are still staying at home. Do a spending diary, see where your money is going. Save, save like mad and by the time you reach the young age of 26, you will a proud home owner and spared the ordeal of having to live in shared accommodation. Sharing suits some people but if the majority had the choice, they much rather the privacy and independence of having their very own home.

But they are living in shared accommodation. They are sharing with their parents who they don't like living with.

I'd say to move out and rent a room in a shared house as it will help your relationship with your family. You still have loads of time to save to buy a house.

Renting isn't dead money. It is money to have a roof over your head. Where you get flexibility in relation to moving and have no responsibility to the upkeep of your house.

awec · 27-01-2020 11:28am

There is a balance to be found between living with your parents at that age, where you feel like a child and aren't getting to experience life as properly as a young adult, and renting where you're paying out big sums in rent each month.

You need to find that balance. Yes, staying at home might get you savings quicker, but there's no sense in being miserable either. You don't want to be looking back in 10 years regretting that you didn't make the most of the few years in your life when your responsibilities are minimal.

JoeyJJ · 27-01-2020 11:31am

I hope you are buying some grocery's and paying some bills while living at home with parents. Stay put head down and get your own place you could probably rent a room out then or rent a room now and relax for a couple of years.

Are you a decent Java developer? We could split some referral cash and probably get you a pay rise more than likely my place looking for some developers soon.

machaseh · 27-01-2020 11:32am

awec wrote: »

There is a balance to be found between living with your parents at that age, where you feel like a child and aren't getting to experience life as properly as a young adult, and renting where you're paying out big sums in rent each month.

You need to find that balance. Yes, staying at home might get you savings quicker, but there's no sense in being miserable either. You don't want to be looking back in 10 years regretting that you didn't make the most of the few years in your life when your responsibilities are minimal.

Or you know you can just decide to not put more crying babies on this planet so you can always enjoy your life even in your 30s and 40s. You dont NEED children.

Cyrus · 27-01-2020 11:38am

machaseh wrote: »

Or you know you can just decide to not put more crying babies on this planet so you can always enjoy your life even in your 30s and 40s. You dont NEED children.

easy tiger, no one says you need children, but in the right circumstances, for most people, there is no greater joy

27-01-2020 11:49am

Cyrus wrote: »

even if that means living with mummy and daddy until they are 26/27/28

Yes, why not? I’d have plenty of friends who only moved out late 20’s/early 30’s when they had bought or built their own house. They lived just as fun lives as those living in crappy houses shares and much better from the perceptive of living in a much nicer place and far cheaper than renting.

They are now in much better financial positions a lot due to being able to save more etc.

Being honest houseshares are crap, I had to live in one for a few years when I moved out at 25 as work at the time was too far to commute and I couldn’t wait to get home at the weekends, living at home was vastly better.

Madness imo to go throwing away money on rent when you can live at home and save far more while still being able to afford to live a nicer life due to not having to pay rent.

machaseh · 27-01-2020 12:10pm

Cyrus wrote: »

easy tiger, no one says you need children, but in the right circumstances, for most people, there is no greater joy

What joy is there from hauling around a crying little monster and cleaning its sh1te ? I never understood it. Luckily I'll never have an 'oopsie' and put one on this world as I'm gay anyway.

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

Yes, why not? I’d have plenty of friends who only moved out late 20’s/early 30’s when they had bought or built their own house. They lived just as fun lives as those living in crappy houses shares and much better from the perceptive of living in a much nicer place and far cheaper than renting.

They are now in much better financial positions a lot due to being able to save more etc.

Being honest houseshares are crap, I had to live in one for a few years when I moved out at 25 as work at the time was too far to commute and I couldn’t wait to get home at the weekends, living at home was vastly better.

Madness imo to go throwing away money on rent when you can live at home and save far more while still being able to afford to live a nicer life due to not having to pay rent.

Not everyone has a good relationship with their parents that they can live at home, and not everyone has the luck of parents living in Dublin city.

For example I moved out at 17 because I'm from the middle of nowhere in the rural part of the Netherlands and it was 3 hours one way to my university.

mlem123 · 27-01-2020 12:32pm

machaseh wrote: »

Not everyone has a good relationship with their parents that they can live at home, and not everyone has the luck of parents living in Dublin city.

For example I moved out at 17 because I'm from the middle of nowhere in the rural part of the Netherlands and it was 3 hours one way to my university.

Eh I don't get how this is relevant for this thread as the OP who asked the question does live in Dublin?

I also live at home at 24 and realise I'm lucky to be able to and lucky that I get along with my parents.

I also pay "board" as my mum likes to call it and will buy my own food (aside from basics) such as meat etc

To an earlier poster saying there's loads of share houses in Dublin going from €500-600pm thank you for the laugh this morning.

Cyrus · 27-01-2020 1:11pm

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

Yes, why not? I’d have plenty of friends who only moved out late 20’s/early 30’s when they had bought or built their own house. They lived just as fun lives as those living in crappy houses shares and much better from the perceptive of living in a much nicer place and far cheaper than renting.

They are now in much better financial positions a lot due to being able to save more etc.

Being honest houseshares are crap, I had to live in one for a few years when I moved out at 25 as work at the time was too far to commute and I couldn’t wait to get home at the weekends, living at home was vastly better.

Madness imo to go throwing away money on rent when you can live at home and save far more while still being able to afford to live a nicer life due to not having to pay rent.

yeah nox we all know your thoughts on this.

OP if you want to end up like Nox stay at home.

Cyrus · 27-01-2020 1:12pm

machaseh wrote: »

What joy is there from hauling around a crying little monster and cleaning its sh1te ? I never understood it. Luckily I'll never have an 'oopsie' and put one on this world as I'm gay anyway.

if thats how you feel its for the best.

you do realise you were once that little monster? and that that period of life lasts for 18-24 months?

machaseh · 27-01-2020 1:22pm

Cyrus wrote: »

if thats how you feel its for the best.

you do realise you were once that little monster? and that that period of life lasts for 18-24 months?

Yes and I regret the day I was born. Despite having a chronical disease, my parents put a second child on this planet (the first one, my brother, was lucky enough not to inherit the gene). And now here I am. Thanks, folks :rolleyes:

machaseh · 27-01-2020 1:23pm

mlem123 wrote: »

Eh I don't get how this is relevant for this thread as the OP who asked the question does live in Dublin?

I also live at home at 24 and realise I'm lucky to be able to and lucky that I get along with my parents.

I also pay "board" as my mum likes to call it and will buy my own food (aside from basics) such as meat etc

To an earlier poster saying there's loads of share houses in Dublin going from €500-600pm thank you for the laugh this morning.

Yes and I can fully understand OP availing of this privilege, just pointing out that for many of us this privilege is just not there.

Mr Tickle · 27-01-2020 2:03pm

awec wrote: »

There is a balance to be found between living with your parents at that age, where you feel like a child and aren't getting to experience life as properly as a young adult, and renting where you're paying out big sums in rent each month.

You need to find that balance. Yes, staying at home might get you savings quicker, but there's no sense in being miserable either. You don't want to be looking back in 10 years regretting that you didn't make the most of the few years in your life when your responsibilities are minimal.

Agreed. I've moved in and out of home for about 10 years now. At first it was for college so lived away for the academic year then back home for the summer.Since then it’s been back and forth for various reasons. I’d be renting for a year or two then back home for 6 months.

I've found that living at home in your 20’s can be tough. The cabin fever sets in quite quickly and you really miss the freedom of (and I mean this in the nicest way) nobody caring where you’re going or what you’re doing with your time. I'm sure it's different for other families or whatever but I've found that even things like dating are much harder while you're at home.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful and am obviously lucky to have parents who have put up with me this long but it's not only a financial decision.

hoganj · 27-01-2020 2:51pm

In true fashion of recommending what I did..

I was in a sort of similar position, I.e. wanting to get on the housing ladder asap when I started my career. My parents lived in the sticks so I could not even stay there. My IT career only existed in Dublin so I spent a year there renting. After that year I came to the conclusion that there was no hope of me getting property. So I went to London. Tons of well paid programming jobs. After 6 months I had my own flat commutable to central London, couldn't have been happier. It was also in the sticks but public transport was much better.
Morale of the story is there are always options out there.

Bubbaclaus · 27-01-2020 7:56pm

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

Yes, why not? I’d have plenty of friends who only moved out late 20’s/early 30’s when they had bought or built their own house. They lived just as fun lives as those living in crappy houses shares and much better from the perceptive of living in a much nicer place and far cheaper than renting.

They are now in much better financial positions a lot due to being able to save more etc.

Being honest houseshares are crap, I had to live in one for a few years when I moved out at 25 as work at the time was too far to commute and I couldn’t wait to get home at the weekends, living at home was vastly better.

Madness imo to go throwing away money on rent when you can live at home and save far more while still being able to afford to live a nicer life due to not having to pay rent.

Vast majority of adults in such a situation would pay a rent to the parents as it's the decent thing to do.

dontparkhere · 27-01-2020 8:39pm

Move out if you're not happy. Your parents can rent out your old room and make decent money instead of giving it to you for free!
I assume you stayed at home during college and never really got away? Might be no harm to get out and live with other people for a while, you might even have a new appreciation for your family.
Personally I would save up and buy. Renting out a room in your apartment would go a long way to covering your mortgage at that stage.

the_syco · 27-01-2020 10:35pm

House share. Moving from no rent, no bills, etc, to a mortgage + bills can cause undue stress.

Also, renting can be great craic!

pconn062 · 28-01-2020 9:33am

machaseh wrote: »

Yes and I regret the day I was born. Despite having a chronical disease, my parents put a second child on this planet (the first one, my brother, was lucky enough not to inherit the gene). And now here I am. Thanks, folks :rolleyes:

No one cares about your personal life on a thread about saving for a house.

OP if I were you, I would suck it up and try and save for another 12-18 months while you still can. Living with family can be tough but you will be thankful of it if you own your own property in your late 20's.

28-01-2020 10:49am

Cyrus wrote: »

OP if you want to end up like Nox stay at home.

You could do a lot lot worse

Also just to note I did houseshare for a few years so I'm speaking from experience when I say I'd much rather live at home even without financial incentives. Housesharing is absolutely crap regardless of how some try to say it’s not.

In the current climate it really is much smarter to use all the advantages you can to accumulate savings. In a few years time when you own your own place and the person who went renting by choice is still stuck renting there is no question of what the smart decision was. Look plenty of people have no choice but to rent or houseshare as they work too far from home but those who can should think long and hard before wasting money on rent that's all I'm really saying.

pwurple · 28-01-2020 12:06pm

House share.

I met some of my best friends doing that, it's great fun with the right gang. Sure, had an experience with a absolute nutcase as well, but it makes a good story.

Cyrus · 28-01-2020 1:10pm

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

You could do a lot lot worse

Also just to note I did houseshare for a few years so I'm speaking from experience when I say I'd much rather live at home even without financial incentives. Housesharing is absolutely crap regardless of how some try to say it’s not.

In the current climate it really is much smarter to use all the advantages you can to accumulate savings. In a few years time when you own your own place and the person who went renting by choice is still stuck renting there is no question of what the smart decision was. Look plenty of people have no choice but to rent or houseshare as they work too far from home but those who can should think long and hard before wasting money on rent that's all I'm really saying.

your experience of an alternative houseshare arrangement to the one that you are ALREADY IN, was crap.

Idbatterim · 28-01-2020 1:28pm

I have to be honest OP, this "rent" option, yeah great. Wait till you see the reality of sharing in many places, arguing over bills etc. Id wait until after the election, see who gets in and what their housing proposals are, there might be saving schemes as muted, to help towards a deposit. If you parents were in a position to help you buy now , that could be a good option. Then again if FF, SF get in and bring the place crashing back down again, being stuck in an apartment might not be great. Stick put and save everything you can in my opinion, Id even contemplate working another job for a few hours a week if possible, to save quicker. You can earn up to the grand pittance of 35k , before hitting the wolf of wall street rate of income tax :rolleyes:

Wait till you have gf, bf and all the house related issues come up. Honestly in my opinion, you are better of staying home and ripping off the plaster. The moving out and renting IN DUBLIN , is a rubbish option in my opinion. For those of you not from dublin, you will rent a kip for E1200 a month, a rotten ancient studio... There is a reason many want their own home after a while, sharing becomes unbearable!

Jamsiek · 28-01-2020 5:27pm

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

Also just to note I did houseshare for a few years so I'm speaking from experience when I say I'd much rather live at home even without financial incentives. Housesharing is absolutely crap regardless of how some try to say it’s not.

Depends on who you are sharing with?
If you were sharing with friends you would look back with fond memories of great times. I certainly do anyway.

I'm guessing that you didn't make friends with your housemates or you wouldn't be saying this?
That's not the case with everyone.

Idbatterim · 28-01-2020 6:05pm

say seven hundred a month for an ok room in ok area, hundred a month for bills. E9600! a year! then its so economical shopping for a family, v alone for yourself. You are talking ten k a year saving minimum. then if they do some save to buy scheme, you could benefit from, for each ten k, they would give you 2.5k! you could be talking about a 12.5k swing per annum, minimum!

Mrs OBumble · 28-01-2020 6:13pm

Houston Thundering Vasectomy wrote: »

Also just to note I did houseshare for a few years so I'm speaking from experience when I say I'd much rather live at home even without financial incentives. Housesharing is absolutely crap regardless of how some try to say it’s not.

Nope.

It can be crap if you're unlucky or if you are an a** But that's no different from living at home sometimes family members are crap to live with too.

But it's really good for maturation, and learning to take responsibility for yourself. It broadens your world view. If you're lucky, can make some really good friends out of it.

Need to get out of my parents house

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