Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Daughter wants braces and says everyone gets them (help a foreigner in Ireland!)

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Bicyclette
    Registered Users Posts: 378 ✭✭Bicyclette


    I have three kidults in their 20s.

    The eldest had and has the most beautiful teeth. She didn't get braces when she was a teenager. Our wonderful dentist at the time told her she had beautiful teeth and didn't need them.

    The second had and has a small mouth. A lot of remedial work had to be done including tooth removal and braces. She still wears a retainer. She doesn't have naturally good teeth.

    The third has great teeth but awful alignment. His baby teeth didn't fall out and his adult teeth grew in behind them. He has Aspergers and we were told, rightly or wrongly, that this seems to happen more often in people with Aspergers. At one stage he had two rows of teeth and looked like a piranha. Because of sensory issues he had to have all his baby teeth out under GA. He needed braces in his teens but it was only when he hit 20 that he decided he wanted his teeth corrected. He is doing great and there is a huge improvement in his teeth.

    Meanwhile the elder lady with the fabulous teeth went to live in Asia. She is now wearing braces - she decided she didn't like the look of her teeth. Hubby and I are still bewildered. But she's old enough to do what she wants. Apparently she always wanted braces as a teen and thinks she should have had them!!

    Back in the ancient past, hubby and I both had braces to straighten our teeth. My teeth were very prominent - everyone blamed it on me sucking my thumb. However my wisdom teeth grew out sticking out at an angel and I reassured my mother there was absolutely no way I could have stuck my thumb anywhere near my wisdom teeth!!


  • Options
    #33
    ThewhiteJesus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,714 ✭✭✭ThewhiteJesus


    Foreigndad wrote: »
    Interesting to get your perspective. Would you say that what my daughter describes on an overall level is fairly accurate then (i.e "normal girls" get braces if teeth aren't straight)?

    I went through this, the dentist did recommend them but they weren't essential.
    We got them done, and the dentist did a payment plan which made it alot easier to manage and pay. Was it worth it ? Yes i think it was and i'm delighted we did it for her now. Good luck either way.


  • Options
    #34
    Bandana boy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭Bandana boy


    I (a man) never got braces as a kid as teeth while not perfectly straight were not a real issue

    I ended up getting braces in my early 20s as part of my recuperation of a broken jaw.
    It is something that was often commented after wards was my great teeth/smile and I am glad I did it and probably would have preferred to do it younger.

    My wife never got hers done , her parents could only afford to fix one from her and her sister , and her sisters teeth were in much worse shape
    now its one of her big regrets that she never got it done.

    I wouldn't bankrupt yourself to fix her teeth but if you can afford it why not give her a better smile , Having a confident smile can have real positive effects for a person.


  • Options
    #35
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,894 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    God, there is no accounting for teens!!20 years ago, braces were the worst thing on the planet and now they all want them...:D:D

    I never got braces as a teen (in my late 30s now, so that would have been in the 90s). All my younger siblings got them. Dentist just didn't feel I needed them. The uproar from my siblings though, over having to get them....as time went on though, more and more teens seem to be getting them.

    I went and got braces in my early 30s because my jaw had narrowed as I grew older, and all 4 wisdom teeth had come up and I had 2 teeth on the bottom jaw at the front that were completely askew and pressing hard into one another - painfully. From observing my siblings, 2 of 3 have had to return to get braces again in their 20s and 30s despite extensive treatment as teens.They have had a combination of the big metal traintracks as teens, the ceramic white ones (which I had) as adults and also the slimline ones, the plastic-y type that fit over your teeth.

    The reality of braces is pain!!!! I hope she knows that! Pain to get them on, pain when they rub your gums and cheeks to bits as your mouth gets used to them, pain after visits to tighten them, pain when wires break loose, and pain getting them off (especially for the white ceramic ones because the cement they use to hold them to your teeth is especially hard and they basically wrench each bracket off with a pliers - my blunt orthodontist suggested taking 2 neurofen or some vodka before my appointment to get mine removed!!!). I still have and will have for life, 2 bars, one behind my upper front teeth, one behind my lower front teeth, to hold the teeth in place, because teeth move quite easily. Also their was a choice in my case exactly what I wanted to fix - just crooked teeth, or also jaw alignment (just the teeth for me, couldn't care less about my jaw alignment).

    Bottom line, if you have 4k to spare then sure, go visit an orthodontist. A really good orthodontist will probably tell you yes or no if she needs them. If you want a rough idea start out with a dentist first to see. But honestly, from what I saw in the orthodontist's teens get braces, then inevitably seem to come back for a second round in their 20s when their jaw narrows, so I am bit dubious about putting them on teenagers in the first place, if you are going to have to fork out again for them. But definitely yes, a large number of Irish teenagers these days do get braces, for whatever reason.


  • Options
    #36
    Cabaal
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 28,463 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cabaal


    virginmediapls wrote: »
    The majority of Irish kids these days tend to get braces. Boards.ie tends to lean towards people who are older than 50 or 60 and fairly out of touch when it comes to more recent phenomena. Boards.ie also has a weird obsession with "not being American" which can be seen in this thread, where people actually think that getting straight teeth is "trying to become more American".

    Give it some thought and decide what's best for you and your family, only you can decide that - but pay no attention to the people on here when it comes to issues like this.

    This is hilarious,
    Boards is full of 50 or 60 year olds
    :rolleyes:

    Honestly.

    Talking to my neices they say braces are very much a fashion thing, they know of some people that want them just for the look. Nothing to do with requiring them at all.

    Bottom line, the decision is a good orthodontist's. don't throw money away if you don't need to


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Similar story here to others, me and my two sisters had braces as teenagers for crooked/overcrowded teeth. I’m the oldest and in my late 30’s. My teeth are still somewhat crooked because I hated wearing them and didn’t follow through with the retainer etc. Both my sisters were the same. It was our dentist who “advised” we needed them rather than us asking. My somewhat crooked teeth don’t bother me but my youngest sister got braces again in her late 20’s because hers were still quite bad.

    I know a good few people in their late 20’s and early 30’s who have gotten them and I would say they are more dedicated to following through because they are paying themselves!


  • Options
    #38
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,772 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    "the majority" of kids don't get braces. In my daughter's circle of friends, 2 girls have had braces. Certainly not "the majority".

    A teenager telling you "everyone does" or "everyone gets" should be seen for what it is: you're daughter trying to convince you to allow her do/get something that SOME of her friends are doing.

    I have 3 teenagers in secondary school. "Everyone" in their classes don't have braces. "The majority" of their friends don't have braces. Maybe 2-3 out of a class of 20+ would have them. If you're concerned about her bring her to a dentist or orthodontist for a consultation. If she needs them because her teeth are very badly crooked and it is affecting her quality of life and self-esteem then that's one thing. If she wants them because "everyone" gets them then tell her she can get them when she has saved up for them.


  • Options
    #39
    Foreigndad
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Foreigndad


    Thanks all for the different views, seems like it with a lot of things depends on peer groups and the class.

    Some seem to think it is common practice while other something unusual and only in special cases.

    Only problem is if I take my daughter to an orthodontist that's basically me telling her that I agree to her getting braces in principle but just need to confirm if she is a candidate. Until we moved to Ireland she never thought twice about her teeth. Not sure if it is the culture here or the fact that she is just older and more aware?

    On the other hand I can afford braces for her and if it is a life long improvement (even if aesthetically) I don't really think I should stand in the way....


  • Options
    #40
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    Tell her that she can get them if she wants but unless it is a medical necessity, you won't be paying for or subsidising the experiment. She can have them, but she's gonna have to get a summer job to finance it.
    A bit of tough love needed.

    And the moment a heard "oh but everyone in my class has them". ROFL. my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Could anything be more teenager. And always a load of bull to convince you to do something they figure you won't approve of - because, even in their head, they know it isn't necessary but they can't help themselves but want to jump on whatever is the latest garbage teen craze.


  • Options
    #41
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    Foreigndad wrote: »
    Thanks all for the different views, seems like it with a lot of things depends on peer groups and the class.

    Some seem to think it is common practice while other something unusual and only in special cases.

    Only problem is if I take my daughter to an orthodontist that's basically me telling her that I agree to her getting braces in principle but just need to confirm if she is a candidate. Until we moved to Ireland she never thought twice about her teeth. Not sure if it is the culture here or the fact that she is just older and more aware?

    On the other hand I can afford braces for her and if it is a life long improvement (even if aesthetically) I don't really think I should stand in the way....

    What are her teeth like? Are they simply imperfect, or are they distracting to look at?

    If it's the latter I wouldn't disregard a quality of life argument even if there is no medical need. Similarly, ear pinning procedure is quite common for protruding ears, it's definitely not required on medical grounds but simply removes a distraction if it matters to the child.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #42
    Agent Avenger
    Registered Users Posts: 189 ✭✭Agent Avenger


    I got braces when I was about 14/15 for cosmetic reasons, the majority of the girls in my year had braces at some stage also for cosmetic reasons, this would have been in the naughties and we all wanted straight teeth. I think it was about €3000-4000 at the time. Something to think about, I had to get my wisdom teeth removed surgically in my late teens before they came up or they would have ruined all the work done by the braces, the VHI covered it though. I think the cost otherwise would have been about €1200 at the time, probably more now. The braces also require diligent cleaning with interdental brushes, one friend of mine didn’t take enough care with brushing around the braces and ended up with build up of plaque around the braces!


  • Options
    #43
    1874
    Registered Users Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭1874


    Foreigndad wrote: »
    Thanks all for the different views, seems like it with a lot of things depends on peer groups and the class.

    Some seem to think it is common practice while other something unusual and only in special cases.

    Only problem is if I take my daughter to an orthodontist that's basically me telling her that I agree to her getting braces in principle but just need to confirm if she is a candidate. Until we moved to Ireland she never thought twice about her teeth. Not sure if it is the culture here or the fact that she is just older and more aware?

    On the other hand I can afford braces for her and if it is a life long improvement (even if aesthetically) I don't really think I should stand in the way....


    You sound like you were looking for people to confirm what you were planning to do imo,if you take your daughter to an orthodontist, you are getting a professional opinion, speak to the Professional beforehand first, its not agreeing to anything and its definitely not the culture here, that sounds like finding a reason why it has come up, maybe peer pressure, but not a cultural thing, you sound like you are acquiescing and were hoping everyone would confirm what you intended to do anyway imo.
    Either her teeth are noticeably crooked or not, if so, go see an Orthodontist, if not, maybe see one anyway and talk to them in advance.

    Tough love as someone said, because from my experience, the person that has them needs to be invested in it, brushing, cleaning etc, one sure way of that is if she gets a job and pays for it all or part of it, you can be sure when someone sees the outlay and what else they might allocate funds to and following anything required to maintain/care for the item, they may talk a step back, especially if they had to slog for months to earn that money.


  • Options
    #44
    Foreigndad
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Foreigndad


    strandroad wrote: »
    What are her teeth like? Are they simply imperfect, or are they distracting to look at?

    If it's the latter I wouldn't disregard a quality of life argument even if there is no medical need. Similarly, ear pinning procedure is quite common for protruding ears, it's definitely not required on medical grounds but simply removes a distraction if it matters to the child.
    A few teeth aren't fully aligned and one tooth is a bit pointy but from a distance (say in a group photo) you can't see anything. Nothing that in my option would be considered deviating from what is normal.


  • Options
    #45
    Foreigndad
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Foreigndad


    1874 wrote: »
    You sound like you were looking for people to confirm what you were planning to do imo,if you take your daughter to an orthodontist, you are getting a professional opinion, speak to the Professional beforehand first, its not agreeing to anything and its definitely not the culture here, that sounds like finding a reason why it has come up, maybe peer pressure, but not a cultural thing, you sound like you are acquiescing and were hoping everyone would confirm what you intended to do anyway imo.
    Either her teeth are noticeably crooked or not, if so, go see an Orthodontist, if not, maybe see one anyway and talk to them in advance.

    Tough love as someone said, because from my experience, the person that has them needs to be invested in it, brushing, cleaning etc, one sure way of that is if she gets a job and pays for it all or part of it, you can be sure when someone sees the outlay and what else they might allocate funds to and following anything required to maintain/care for the item, they may talk a step back, especially if they had to slog for months to earn that money.
    All valid points!


  • Options
    #46
    1874
    Registered Users Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭1874


    Dymo wrote: »
    Doesn't have to be if you get Invisalign, they are relatively painless but you have to me more disciplined putting them in and out and wearing them for the correct amount of time. They are clear and nearly impossible to notice unless looking for them.

    Price wise it depends on the case but normally between €3,000 and €4,000




    I think the point is, the girls wants them to be somewhat noticeable or I suppose to be noticed she has them


  • Options
    #47
    antimatterx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,678 ✭✭✭antimatterx


    I got braces as a young teenager, roughly 12 - 3 years, at that time, everyone had them, I don't remember anyone who didn't, and I didn't grow up in a wealthy area. They are expensive. Mine cost my folks 6K, and then they got a discount on my two brothers as a loyalty discount 4K each.


  • Options
    #48
    Jafin
    Registered Users Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Jafin


    31 year old male chiming in here with my own personal experience. I didn't get braces in school. I went to some state appointed orthodontist when I was called for it in my teens but he said that my teeth weren't bad enough to need braces. My teeth have always bothered me even though they weren't awful looking by any means, but it really did affect my confidence. I would always put my hand in front of my mouth whenever I laughed so nobody would see my teeth. It became a completely subconscious thing that my body would just do automatically. I also hated smiling for pictures and would try to tilt my head to just the right angle so that specific teeth weren't visible in the photo. About two years ago I was finally in a position financially to get them sorted out so I went to an orthodontist and decided to go ahead with Invisalign and it's the best thing I ever did for myself. I'm almost finished my treatment now and I'm extremely happy with the results. That being said it is quite expensive. I think you can get the traditional metal braces free from the state as a teenager, but only if the appointed orthodontist says they're needed.

    If you can, try to sit down with your daughter and have a mature conversation about why she wants braces. Try to get beyond the "everyone else has them!" thing and see if there is a deeper reasoning, like if she is really conscious of how her teeth look. It would be better to get it done now than further down the road, if it's something you can afford.

    Again, this is all my own personal experience and this isn't necessarily what it's like for everyone or your daughter.

    Edit: Invisalign is a lot of work. You have to take them off every time you eat and then brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash and clean the actual braces before putting them back in. You really have to take care of them, and I worry that a teenager may not have that discipline. If you do decide to get her braces then she might be better off getting the traditional metal ones. That way she can never lose them or accidentally break them to a point that would set her back several weeks like you can with Invisalign.


  • Options
    #49
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    So I think this depends on where you go to school , I went to private school and yes nearly everyone had braces some for aesthetic reasons and some needed them but only a hand full of my other friends or cousins had them


  • Options
    #50
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    I am sure if the dentist said to look into it, then fine but if not maybe try saying to her in a nice way tis just a fad here.. I know my sis is saying tis all the rage in the Netherlands at the moment too even dentist recommended it for her son who has not lost all his baby teeth yet which is just mad..Maybe saying when she is a little older and see if her wisdom teeth come in, if they do and she still wants them perhaps look at the night time retainers..While it is nice to have straight teeth is is also nice to have something natural not looking like everyone else...sad the way the world has become


  • Options
    #51
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    My son will need braces. He's only 8 but the way his adult teeth are coming through means that he's already been referred to an orthodontist. It's likely that he won't get them for another 6 or 7 years but the referral appointment will give us more information.


    A heap of his cousins on one side of the family are also either queued up to need braces or have had them already. But if teeth are badly crooked it can cause issues beyond aesthetics - such as being harder to clean properly so more prone to cavities /fillings or jaw issues.

    If you decide not to get a consult, there's always the option of her getting them when she's older. I know people in their 40s who have braces because they never got them when they were younger, and now have the money and can decide for themselves that they want/need braces rather than being led by the popular crowd. I know someone who got braces to correct a single tooth that grew oddly. They felt it was worth it, could pay for it and has no regrets.

    If she's mature enough for braces then she's mature enough to come up with a better reason for dropping €3000-€4000 on what is for her an essentially cosmetic procedure rather than "everyone has them"


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #52
    Foreigndad
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Foreigndad


    A quick follow up. We went to the orthodontist the week before Easter. He basically said that braces for sure would make it easier for her to keep clean in the future, reduce the risk of future crowding (didn't know that existing crowding might slowly become worse with age) and give a straighter smile (if that is important), but on the other hand not getting braces probably would not cause serious dental issues either as long as she keeps up hygiene.

    Think the orthodontist was fair, not pushy in any way and the quote given was reasonable. So after some thinking and discussion I've decided to let her get the braces if she wants them and are willing to commit. It can be a lifelong improvement and I'm willing to give that to her. So next week she is booked into have them fitted.

    Thank you all for the posts.


Advertisement