Darko's Recently Viewed Diary

Stage Fright - A better idea than film and one that would have worked better as a short or if the film maker had opted to put the killer front and center. When your films best moment comes courtesy of the end credits in which the killer sings, you know you have issues and Stage Fright is very much a film suffering from an identity crisis. It's at once shockingly violent and lighthearted thanks to the half-baked songs that can't cover up the films many shortcomings. With a script that features scenes of sexual assault played for laughs, and a lead who is pretty much forced to use her body to secure a role and you have a film in serious need of a stronger hand steering it all.

There's nothing truly awful here, just a good bit of poorly conceived material that simply isn't strong enough to make the film work. Had they had the killer as the lead and just gone with it and you have the sense that Stage Fright may have been the genre mash up cult classic it's so desperate to be. As it is, it's an entertaining if bland horror musical that never quite gels in an effective manner.

Satanic - The kind of film that you watch and then instantly forget about. There's nothing inherently bad to be found in Satanic and the opening is rather effective but it's a film all about the build up and the pay-off simply isn't worth it. Performances are good, it's well written, the direction is strong and the film has a number of good ideas in play but it just goes nowhere. It's the cinematic equivalent of bad sex, all build up with no climax.

The Hallow - There's a good short film to be found here but as a feature, The Hallow is an overlong bore that simply doesn't have enough ideas or thrills. The characters are all idiots, the twist obvious from the first reel and the whole film just feels like a whole lot of meh. It's a film that is neither awful enough to enjoy ironically nor good enough to actually enjoy, it's just a decidedly average venture that feels like a hundred others.

Odd Thomas - A slight but fun supernatural thriller that looks and feels like a comic book come to life. Yelchin and Dafoe are great but can only do so much to elevate the film from its made for TV look and feel. Addison Timlin as Odd's love interest Stormy ranks up there with on all-time awful performances scale. She's not just bad, she's abysmal and ruins every single moment that she has. She has no chemistry with anyone and her dialogue is delivered in the style and tone of a lobotomize robot.

Odd Thomas is a film that suffered from behind the scenes issues, budget cuts, long delays, lawsuits, and it shows. There's a real sense that what we got is half finished and it's a shame as Odd Thomas has the potential to be a great franchise or even better a big budget tv series. Odd Thomas is fun, it's light and easy to watch nonsense that's more concerned with raising a smile than it is in trying to scare and all the better for it.

Officer Downe - Garish, grim, ghastly and devoid of any sense of wit or originality, Officer Downe is like a bargain basement rip off of Crank by ways of Deadpool.

Tonally it's got more ups and downs than Kanye West's sense of self importance and in fact, it's pretty much the cinematic equivalent of Kanye's recent months. It promises so much, a great cast, an interesting left field director, produced by 50% of the filmmakers behind Crank and with a script by Joe Casey who wrote the original comic things are looking good.

And then the film starts and you quickly realise that this is the kind of film that thinks it's hilarious to have an orgasm counter on screen as our hero eats out some hooker. Officer Downe starts in the gutter and stay there as the muddled plot plays out with all the urgency of a trip to the dentist. Officer Downe is less a film than it is a series of poorly conceived skits edited together with the barest of story. It's a film in which every element feels lifted from else where, the blaxploitation kung ku killer, the animal masked crime bosses, the gun running nuns and on and on it goes as the film takes a little from genre a and adds a dallop of every other genre out there.

Officer Downe feels less like a film than it does the pilot for a late night TV show. The film builds and builds toward a finale that never comes, instead we get a poorly choreographed fist fight that has all the excitement of two drunks jostling to get an order in before last call.

There is potential here, a hell of a lot. In fact it's clear that with a little love and care that Officer Downe could be something special but based on the 90 minutes here it's hard to get excited for the sequel that the final moments set up, though that said the chances of a sequel based off of the performance of this are slim. And that's a shame as Kim Coates gives a great performances and brings some nuance to a role that seems to have been written without any. If a sequel does get made it would be wise to make it all about Officer Downe and not some rookie cop assigned to look after him.

Dark was the Night - A great set up, good world building and some fine performances mark Dark Was the Night out as something a little bit special. The creature is largely kept off screen and used sparingly to create tension and give the film a sense of unease but all this is squandered toward the end when we get a look at the creature and it look slike something from a Sci-FI film of the week made in 95. It's so jarring and awful looking that it ruins so much of what went before.

Still, all the other elements are well don and create a film that is dark, tense and far, far better than anyone would every guess.


I Am Not a Serial Killer - A low-key thriller that makes the most of a small budget to wring some real suspense out of a set up that may be familiar but still manages to pull off some interesting twists. Christopher Lloyd is brilliant as the antagonist and brings some warmth and heart to the film, he's the soul of the film and steals every moment he's onscreen.

Ouija: Origin of Evil - A far better film than the original, Origin of Evil is far better than it has any right to be. Sure it may take an age to get going and the last 20 minutes is a mad rush to the end but it looks great and has some genuinely fun moments. There's nothing here original or out of left field, but it tells a decent story in a rather adult manner and as such is head and shoulders above so much of its ilk.

The Keep - It's hard to know what to think of the Keep, Michael Mann's utterly delirious fever dream that's less concerned with coherence than it is with gorgeous visuals and an utterly bonkers score from Tangerine Dream. This is very much a film butchered in post to try and create something and it shows, there's no sense of time, relationships go from first introductions to passionate sex on a floor and a character travels across Europe in what appears to be a day.

Mann has often spoke of his much longer cut and it would be interesting to see as it would at the very least make for a more tonally coherent film though that said, much of the film's charm comes from how all over the place it is. This is a film in which the ridiculous becomes sublime, it's a wonderful atrocity of film making, the kind of throw everything at the screen and see what sticks cluster **** that succeeds thanks in part to the sheer audacity of Mann's vision.


Elle - Paul Verhoeven masterfully defies expectation to deliver a rape revenge tale that is as slight and witty, as the initial rape is grotesque and inhumane. Opening mid-assault, Verhoeven's film is on the attack from its opening frame and what follows is the most French reaction to a rape that cinema has ever seen. Like with his Hollywood fare, Elle is dripping with sarcasm, satire and a sense of a master filmmaker having the time of his life.

Isabelle Huppert delivers one of cinema's most shocking and fearless performances, her reaction to the assault, played with off-kilter coldness gives cinema perhaps it's first real feminist reaction to rape as a plot device. Her reaction to the assault is not as a victim but as a survivor, or in perhaps the films most shocking twist on expectations, by not allowing the rape to define her in any way.

That the rape is so swiftly dealt with allows Verhoeven to explore some dark themes in a way only he can, having Elle repeatedly face her attacker makes for hard going and allows the most shocking assault to not be the initial attack but the way the two characters move into the others lives.

Elle is a fascinatng film, dark and adult in a manner few would dare, it takes on of society's most taboo subjects and manages to find the humour in it while never down playing the act of rape. It's a startling film, bleak, unrelenting and thrilling. It's a modern classic.

The First Power - Remember Fallen, that horror thriller from 1998 in which Denzel chased around a body-hopping serial killer who he had recently watched being executed? Well, The First Power is that Lou Diamond Phillips 1990 horror thriller in which Lou chases around a body-hopping serial killer who he had recently watched being executed.

Yes, The First Power is familiar but mainly due to how many other films lifted wholesale from it, most of it's big ideas were played out on a bigger canvas by filmmakers with more money to spend but The First Power remains a damn fine little thriller with a strong script, some good performances and an interesting killer and best of all, a sense of humour. It may be 90s cinema by the numbers but it's damn entertaining while it lasts

Frankenstein 2015 - One of the more innovative adaptations of the story of Adam in a long time, Rose's modern twist on the tale is a dark and mature horror film with plenty of gore but also a reliance not simple on violence but rather heart. Frankenstein 2015 may be cheap as hell but it works thanks to spirited performances and some gorgeous visuals. It's familiar and yet fresh, a film about ideas above all else

Abattoir - A low budget gem, Bousman manages to make the most out of a tiny budget and when the big reveal comes the film it's well worth it. Abattoir is a dark and understated film with a strong script and some decent acting. It's a film that with a much bigger budget could be something truly special but taken for what it is Abattoir is a damn fine piece of genre cinema that deserves a sequel.

The Night Crew - A low budget horror film with a good cast and some fantastic set pieces. The budget is limited but it never shows, every cent is on screen and it shows. This is not the kind of film that will be remembered the next day but while it lasts it's a blast and far better than many 200 million dollar action films.

Angel Heart - A bleak and unrelenting journey into the darkest pits of the soul< angel heart is one of the fine low key horror films ever made. A pitch perfect horror that favors atmosphere above all else. It's an old-fashioned horror that feels fresh to this day.


Don't Knock Twice - A damn fine little horror film, smart and unnerving it has some great ideas, good performances and looks great. A far better horror film than most and certainly deserving of a far greater rep

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - The kind of nonsensical garbage that really has no reason to exist. A film so muddled, murky and ugly that even the rather gorgoeus looking set design is lost amongst the kind of shadowy environments that teenage boys dream of. This is a film where characters exist simply to die, where no one evolves beyond a cut out and where the action is shot in such a haphazard manner that at the best of time it resembles someone having a seizure.

There's no reason for this film to exist and anyone who didn't guess the fate of Alice four films ago will leave wondering how such an obvious and boring idea passed them by. It's hard make a film in which no one is thrilled by armies of zombies laying waste to the last of humanity but by god the Anderson managed to do just that.

Fender Bender - Death Proof without the pretention is the most apt description of Fender Bender, an 80s styled slasher that's infused with a nihilistic streak that makes for a perfect throwback slasher. Bill Sage is perfect as the Driver, a cold-blooded killer whose weapons of choice include his car and a blade which I'm sure someone will argue gives his killings a rather phallic tone but that's for another day.

Fender Bender is the kind of dank and dark film that we rarely see these days, a film in which bad things happen to good people in a graphic manner and is all the better for it. This is an 80s slasher through and through, free of the self-referential tone of so many modern slashers it allows the film to build suspense in a far more subdued and understated manner resulting in perhaps the best slasher in years.

Don't Kill It - Got a tiny budget bur need to deliver a fun horror film in under two weeks, well Mike Mendez is your man given that he managed to do just that with the bloody good Don't Kill It, a film shot on the catering budget of whatever bore fest Marvel is currently working on and like Raimi before him, Mendez puts every cent onscreen and it shows. From the brilliant old school gore FX to the fun and spirited performance from Lundgren to the understated and bold direction, Don't Kill It is a treat for genre fans. It's the kind of old fashioned fare that actually does something interesting and once again makes you hope that someone will hand Mendez a bundle of cash and let him do what he does on a far broader canvas.

The Burrowers - One of the few great horror westerns, J.T. Petty is a gifted filmmaker and creates one of the most atmospheric and down beat horrors in some time. It's a wonderfully evocative piece and deserving to be seen and celebrated.

Get Out - Not quite the genre classic so many claim but a damn fine film in its own right with some wonderful moments and a nice subversive streak. Performances are strong, the writing is good and it's a film of small moments. Go in expecting a game changer and you will leave disappointed, go in expecting a mature and dark thriller and you'll be greatly rewarded.

Rigor Mortis - The best hopping vampie film ever made, Juno Maks loving tribute to the Mr Vampire franchise removes the comedy and ups the tension and violence considerably and to great effect. With a cast of memorable characters, gorgeous cinematography, demented set pieces and a wonderful sense of wit Rigor Mortis is a true modern genre classic.



Just Before Dawn - One of the best slasher films, Just Before Dawn is a grown-up example of what is one of the most put upon genres and in most cases deservedly so. There is no other genre with so many piss poor DIY efforts and it takes something a little special to stand out, Just Before Dawn is that rare gem in the rough. A good script, a stunning setting, adult characters and a restrained nature, Just Before Dawn is everything you want from a slashed. The violence is rather trite and there's little gore but when it does occur is has an impact making it quite memorable.

The Final Terror - A better example of 80s slasher mania, The Final Terror makes great use of an older cast of adults, some nice scenery, tight direction and a better then average script. It's hardly high art and the kill count is low but for what it is, The Final Terror is fine.

Ms .45 - A rape revenge film from Abel Ferrara was never going to be conventional and with Ms .45 Ferrara turns in a dark and subversive take on a genre which had been trivialised by exploitative trash such as Death Wish.

In Ms .45 the act of rape is a freeing one, it allows Thana to become the woman she always wanted, from timid mute seamstress with mousey hair and buttoned up blouse who avoids confrontation to a woman who dresses provocatively and actively puts herself in dangerous situations. It's a startling contrast and while at times it comes dangerously close to crossing over into exploitation, Ferrara manages to keep the film grounded and let Thana as a character both evolve and devolve.

The film's most startling moment involves neither the rapes or the violence but rather a telling moment in which Thana simply writes "I just want everyone to leave me alone" and that moment when it becomes clear just how much she enjoys the violence. At heart Ms .45 is a simple tale of someone who just wants the world to leave them alone and if that means that she has to kill any man who shows any affection to a woman then so be it, and you know what it's easy to fall in behind her. Ms .45 is far better than a simple rape revenge tale, it's a mature and dark descent into the mind of a victim and how violence set them free to be the person they always wanted.

They're Watching - A great kind of found footage film in which the central idea of recording a complete and utter cluster**** of a situation actually makes narrative sense. Given that our leads are a shooting crew for a make over TV show the film never resorts to out of focus shaky cam in order to create tension and in a pleasant change of pace all the film looks great. They're Watching is a wonderfully demented and charming horror, one with likable leads, genuine laughs and that finale is up there with the most bat **** crazy around. Sure the film has its issues, some of the acting is a little amdram and the FX work isn't great but when a film is this fun who cares. They're Watching is a damn fine little genre film and destined for cultdom in the years to come.

The Veil - Thoms Jane is great as a charismatic cult leader, it's just a shame that so much of the film follows a rather bland film crew rather than focus on the cult. Then ending hints at great things and the film has enough good moments to deserve a sequel but between those good bits there's simply far too many scenes of Jessica Alba trying to act. The Veil is a good idea in an average film, it has some good ideas, a few nice twists and Jane is great but it never seems to know where to focus.


Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh - Far as horror sequels go, Farewell to the Flesh isn't half bad, it has a wonderful central villain, an interesting story and the New Orleans setting adds so much which coupled with the beautifully haunting score gives Farewell to the Flesh an certain off kilter feel. It plays out like a fever dream, full of stunning visuals and unique locations. It's one of those films that is hard to categorise, it's as much a period character piece as it is a slasher. It's a film that much like the original lingers in your memory.

Dolls - A kids film with added gore, Dolls is Stuart Gordon's mental homage to The Old Dark House and classic skid row 30s horror, only this time instead of a monster we have dozens of killer dolls. Dolls has a couple of issues, some of the acting is forced, it's rather cheap looking and the story could use a bit more meat but at only 75 minutes long the film never drags and once the carnage starts the film kicks it up a gear and delivers a truly demented and fun tale.

Alone in the Dark 1982 - A nihilistic early 80s slasher film with a great cast and a couple of nice kills. It's a little dated and some of the characters are a little stock but it's dark and grim and has a rather unnerving underlying sense of threat.

Last Rampage: The Escape of Gary Tison - The title may be a little Lifetime Movie of the week but Robert Patrick is electric in this rather great little genre film. Based on a grim true story it's a credit to the film that it never feels exploitive or over the top, the senseless violence is tastefully done and the charters are never celebrated or put on a pedestal. The low budget hurts a couple of scenes but overall Last Rampage is a damn fine film with a superb central performance.

Films 11 and 12 of 321 Nights of Fright:

The Limehouse Golem - Gorgeous to look at and with strong performances but a weak script hinder it. The writing is trite and formulaic and there's no real character development as our cast blunder from one set up to the next. The whole thing has a Sunday night BBC One drama feel to it and while that's not the worst thing in the world, the whole thing does leave you feeling a little cold. All the elements of a great film are here, just the script lets it all down.

Contamination - How this ever made the video nasties list is a head-scratchingly difficult? It's less a gore film than it is a light and fun trashy sci-fi film with some truly inspired Alien FX and plenty of exploding body parts. The score is the real highlight of what is a trashy piece of low budget cinema.

31 Nights of Fright Continues

The Beast Within - A real oddity, opening with an unsettling rape scene The Beast Within is a hard film to warm to given it's grim tone and sense of unease. It's a dark film, one that uses some shocking imagery to great effect and the transformation scene is one of cinemas best. It's a genuinely stunning moment and a real testament to the last impact of practical FX work. Some of the writing here is a little flat and some of the acting a little too broad but overall it's a fine little shocker with good performances and a genuine sense of the unhinged about it.

Witchfinder General - Part of a short wave of British folk horrors, Witchfinder General is a classic thanks to a low key script, a genuine sense of foreboding and some shocking imagery. It's a film best experienced cold, one in which the shocks work thanks to how mundane they are. And Price is great, delivering his best performance. It's a shame that Reeves dies so soon after as he had a great style of his own and Witchfinder General promises great things.

31 Nights of Fright numbers 22-26:

The Hunted - A great idea is used well in this low key found footage film in which the gimmick actually makes sense. Performances are strong and the film builds tension is a subtle manner through the use of silence. Sure it's a little too long and at times the performance can let it down slightly but all things considered, The Hunted is a damn fine lil genre film and one of the few good found footage films. Stewart is also a name to watch, he's always been a good actor but based off this, he's on his way to being a great director.

Leatherface - Taken for what it is, Leatherface is a passable time killer with a couple of good performances though it's hard to believe that Jed evolves into Leatherface. The violence here is graphic in that way modern horror is, it's a little too clinical and while it tries to be realistic it never feels it. The biggest issue with the film is that it tries far too hard to be a spin on The Devil's Rejects, only it never establishes any sympathy or gives us a reason why we should want the characters to survive.

Better Watch Out - Taking inspiration from a dozen places, Better Watch Out is a modern homage to some of the classics that never feels like a rip off. The set up is simple and the way the film plays out defies expectation, sure there are a couple of issues along the way but overall it's a fine little film that is best experienced cold.

The Devil in a Convent - A delicious slice of horror from 1899 with an inventive and still impressive use of editing. Short as it is, it manages to tell a good story and the set design is sublime. A gorgeous piece of cinema that to this day impresses

Death Note - Much like with Ghost in the Shell, Death Note was a film destined to fail due to repeated attacks from people accusing it of whitewashing. And much like with Ghost in the Shell such claims are utter nonsense. It's getting to the point that simply talking about an American remake of a film from any other country is pointless given the anger of the internet.

Death Note is a damn fine little film, with some dark undertones, gorgeous visuals, an inspired soundtrack and strong performances. As a film it's biggest downfall is that it is not a miniseries given that it tries to cover a lot of ground in it's 100 minutes. inspired ideas such as Kira cults are glossed over. There's so much in play here that I would happily spend hour after hour exploring this world.

Wingard continues to show what a fine filmmaker he has, his subtle use of Ryuk creates a truly memorable villain and Dafoe was an inspired piece of casting bringing a truly unsettling tone to the film.

Death Note is a fine adaptation and a great film in its own right. Sure there are a couple of stumbling blocks but for my money it's an unfairly maligned piece of genre cinema that's vastly superior to trash such as that which Marvel releases every six months. It has a personality of its own and isn't afraid to **** around a little.

Ravenous - The best cannibal western ever made. Funny, smart and gorgeous to look at, Ravenous is one of the best films you have never seen and one deserving to celebrated as a true cult classic. A wonderful piece of cinema.

Frights number 30-34

Cat People - A steamy, sultry slice of early 80s horror with an emphasis on sexuality. As a film Cat People is best described as a fever dream, a film full of gorgeous imagery, maddening moments of the ridiculous all thrown together to create something akin to a hazily recalled nightmare. It's a unique and startling tale and one that is never boring.

The Addams Family - The kind of kids film that would never get made now, The Adams Family is a dark and adult tale with some great imagery and a wonderfully demented sense of the absurd. Its slapstick violence is well staged and the cast are fantastic, it's a throwback to that time when kids films weren't afraid to try to be anything other than generic and sage.

Hocus Pocus - Far better than it has any right to be, Hocus Pocus is a prime slice of 90s comedy horror aimed at kids but with a devilishly dark underbelly. Hocus Pocus has a great cast, some nice touches such as Sarah the witch who spends her time playing up in the background and an actual sense of threat. Yes Hocus Pocus isn't afraid of killing a child onscreen and as such it manages to build some nice suspense from that threat.

You're Next - Last year’s A Horrible Way to Die from writer Simon Barrett and Director Adam Wingard was an exceptional piece of work that stands as not just one of the best genre films of the past decade but, a damn fine film that put pretty much every big screen release to shame. Wingard and Barrett further collaborated on the wonderfully witty short Q is for Quack from last years ABC’s of Death, as well as entries from both V/H/S and its sequel. And now, their latest feature length horror opus, You’re Next, has received a wide mid-week release, something which is almost unheard of for anything other than a 200 million dollar CGI infused blockbuster and, as such, expectations are high with many claiming that You’re Next is a game changer, a film that was revolutionizing the horror genre as we know.

From the start it’s only fair to point out that You’re Next is not a game changer, nor is it a film which will drastically alter the horror landscape, and that is not a criticism of the film. Hyperbolic statements such as those do little more than create expectation in the viewer and it’s unfair to saddle any film with such expectation.

You’re Next tells the story of Paul Davison, his medicated wife Aubrey and their dysfunctional, grown up kids and significant others coming together to celebrate Paul and Aubrey’s 35th weeding anniversary. As one expects, things are far from cosy and it’s not long before old rivalries and childish squabbles are reignited. Things come to head during a particularly heated family dinner when just as things are about to explode the not so quiet tranquility of this family gathering is shattered by a crossbow bolt, followed swiftly by the introduction of a gang of murderous, animal mask wearing party crashers.

You could be forgiven for reading the above plot description and assuming that You’re Next is yet another in the seemingly never ending line of home invasion slashers and, while there’s nothing striking original in the set up, You’re Next manages to be one of the most satisfying entries in the genre to date.

Wingard and Barrett playfully toy with genre conventions and expectations in such a refreshing and impressive manner that nothing here feels stale. Even the pre-credits death, one of horrors most generic and tired conventions, is playfully mocked in a manner which defies expectations. There’s a visual punch and a symmetry between imagery and sound that creates some genuine tension in these opening moments. The closest comparison one could make is to the infamous opening death in Scream, only You’re Next manages to surpass it both stylistically and inventively.

The manner in which viewer expectations are toyed with in You’re Next is perhaps the films ace in the hole. The opening invites us to sit back and enjoy a familiar ride but, once the mayhem kicks in, You’re Next takes the path less traveled. Genre expectations and the rule book are thrown out the window and the mid film twist is a thing of beauty that few will see coming. Thanks to the smart script and assured direction the transition from slasher flick to revenge thriller never feels jarring. It feels like a natural progression for the genre and one that opens up a whole host of possibilities that the film gleefully embraces.

One of the film’s more striking aspects is the score, which is highly reminiscent of many 80s genre classics, most noticeably the work of John Carpenter. It’s deeply unsettling and adds a real sense of foreboding to the film. It works as both a homage to the films Wingard and Barrett so clearly love as well as a welcome change from the more heavy metal orientated scores of modern horror. The use of this old school synth score is perfectly offset by the repeated use of the wonderfully toe tipping and upbeat Looking for the Magic by Mind the Gap, a song that would feel more at home during the final moments of an episode of Gossip Girl than in a traditional horror film. The juxtaposition of such an infectiously happy, pop number against such unrelentingly grim violence is a stroke of genius on the filmmakers part and perfect highlight the streak of dark humour running throughout the film.

You’re Next is the perfect balance of horror and fun and manages to craft a truly unnerve sense of dread throughout. This is not some generic, sanitised teen friendly horror but rather a superbly acted, brutally violent and unrelenting ride with a number of truly inventive and memorable kills. It’s a messy, messy ride that once our villains appear rarely stops for breath and has so much fun subverting audience expectations that one can’t help but fall in love with they mayhem. Genre fans owe it to themselves to experience You’re Next and everyone would be a fool to miss what is by far, the cinematic highlight of the summer.

Chopping Mall - Evil robots in a mall going on a killing spree and it's all exactly what you expect. The FX work is good, the performances are decent and the gore isn't bad. At 75 minutes long it's over well before it outstays its welcome and while it amounts to nothing of note Chopping Mall is a decent time killer.

Amsterdamned - Something of an oddity, less a slasher film than a detective thriller with some stabby moments. Amsterdam looks great, the opening is superb and the whole thing plays out nicely but the rushed ending kind of robs the film of its big reveal. There's fun to be had here for sure and while dated, Amsterdamned is never anything other than good fun.


Firestarter - Grand for what it is, a little dated at this stage but Scott is immense and there's some nice FX work. No one will mistake it for a great film but for middle of the road King adaptations it isn't bad at all.

Starry Eyes - Viewed now, Starry Eyes is an incredibly relevant and topical film exploring the seedier side of Hollywood. Its low budget means that many of it's big ideas are on the low key side but the strong cast, some nice twists and confident direction make for one hell of a ride.

The Initiation - Standard 80s slasher fare livened up by a good script which is never in a rush to get to the gore, instead taking the time to allow characters to be formed and some story work to be done. Once the action begins it's well staged with an emphasis on the quick and nasty, the kills are efficient and fun and thanks to the early work the deaths have impact. The Initiation is one of the better slashers out there and well worth checking out.

Captain Clegg - A fun adventure film with a great set up and the always wonderful Peter Cushing having the time of his life. The story is a little underdeveloped and the run time could have been extended but overall this is a Hammer oddity that works wonders.

Krampus - A great idea squandered on a bloodless and at time brain dead horror, there's no real sense of threat and the great looking monsters are sadly underused. It's an entertaining watch but could do with some balls.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale - A damn fine Christmas film with a subversive streak. Dark and adult in a way we rarely see these days, it's a delight from start to finish and deserves to be celebrated as a Christmas classic.

Dead of Winter - A decent thriller with a great set up and some genuine suspense thanks to an interesting script that has a few surprises along the way.

Terror Train - A great set up and some fine acting from the likes of Ben Johnson elevate Terror Train a little bit, sure it's all very familiar and the twist is obvious but the kills are well handled and there's a couple of nice moments of suspense.

Death Ship -Death Ship the ship that deaths is a dull and listless 80s horror film that never really amounts to a whole lot. The budget is small, the kills boring, the kids annoying and George Hamilton takes it all way to seriously. Not a dreadful film by any means, just a rather middle of the road one that feels like it was made for TV. There is no reason for a film about a haunted Nazi boat to be so boring.

Dracula - Coppola's film is pretty to look at but not all that good and campy as hell. Worst of all, poor Keanu is clearly out of his depth and struggling but then again even Oldman struggles with some of the films campier dialogue.

Lurking Fear - A good cast, an atmospheric location and some good practical FX can't save this dull 76 minute film that feels like it's over 2 hours. Lurking Fear has all the ingredients of a good film, just not the budget to bring it's ideas to life. Constant corner cutting and writing designed to paint over the cracks formed by the lack of a budget result in Lurking Fear being little more than a slight distraction. Something to watch while you do better things.
The Serpent and the Rainbow- A missed opportunity, for most of its runtime the film manages to be a subtle exploration of another culture with a few exploitative touches to tell an interesting and fun story. Shame then that the finale is an FX-heavy mess of poor looking effects work and a baffling set piece. Had the film kept away from the horror elements then it could have been something truly special.

The Howling - One of the great werewolf films, smart and bold, its creature FX is extraordinary and it has a sly wry humour that marks it out as something a little different. Sure it has aged somewhat, but overall The Howling is a great horror film.

To the Devil a Daughter - An effective if at times baffling adaptation of Wheatley's novel in which Richard Widmark takes on the forces of evil. With some striking iconography and a couple of still shocking moments To the Devil a Daughter is an interesting piece of cinema. Storywise it's a little humdrum and the abrupt ending as a result of the footage being destroyed doesn't quite work but overall this remains a fine horror.

The Haunting - Boring, bland, garbage. The kind of uninteresting and banal horror film that builds zero tension before rushing through a CGI heavy ending in hopes of making you forget how crap the last 90+ minutes were.

See No Evil 2 - Far as horror sequels go, SNE2 isn't half bad. The cast is made up of adults playing adults though not always acting like them. Cheap as chips, shot no doubt over a week or so and not exactly intended to set the world alight, SNE2 never the less manages to be quite effective. The deaths are ok, nothing too impressive, especially in comparison to the original and the script and acting, are passable but it's the atmosphere that's the winner here. The Soska sisters manage to give the film a off-kilter haunted nursery rhyme feel that conjures up a nice tone.

The Mad - The best film about mad cow zombies around, tonally this is less a horror than a zany comedy and when it works it makes for an entertaining good time. Zane is good fun and having a ball and the FX is surprisingly good considering the low budget. The Mad is easy to watch fun, the kind of competently made direct to DVD genre cinema that has all but disappeared of late.

The Prowler - A slasher with a mean streak, The Prowler is an incredibly effective low key slasher with some great deaths, an engaging story and good acting. Its effectively understated and atmospheric while at the same time being rather brutal and unrestrained, far as 80s slasher films go it's one of the best.


Veronica - Better than one expects, Veronica is a familiar film full of tropes and cliches we've seen a hundred times before but a wonderful cast of kids make it work. The ending is a little on the weak side and some of the cliches like the nun don't really work but overall it's well made and brilliantly acted creating likeable characters you care for.

The Body Snatcher - An atmospheric and effective 40s horror with some gorgeous set design and a striking feel. The acting is spot on and the use of shadows and night creates some gorgeous imagery and for it's time there's a number of startling moments. Genre filmmaking at its best, gothic and understated it's a rich and vibrant film about the horrors of man.

The Shape of Water - Visually breathtaking if indebted to a dozen others, The Shape of Water is Del Toro at his almost least interesting, the romance is underbaked, the stories need work and at times it feels like someone has taken a miniseries and edited it down to feature length. There's a lot to like here, the creature design is gorgeous and Doug Jones manages to convey so much through movement and Shannon is good, even if his character is a comical caricature. Sadly it never really amounts to a whole lot, while it's bold and striking in moments as a whole film it feels a little cold and is populated with characters who exist simply so that they can have a moment where they stand up for themselves in the face of bigotry or indifference.

The Night Watchemen - A horror comedy that's actually funny, the Night Watchmen is an at times juvenile comedy full of fart jokes and bloodshed and all the better for it. Sure it's cheap as hell and some of the characters are caricatures but that's the point, this is a film whose sole intent is to entertain and it does so in a fun and relaxed manner. The cast are good, the chemistry better and it feels fresh, even as it covers ground that a hundred other films have trod before.

Taryn Barker: Demon Hunter - 80 seconds in and it's obvious that Demon Hunter is less a film than it is a bad joke. A woefully inadequate and poorly made waste of hard drive space that fails in every conceivable manner.

From its atrocious score that's VERY LOUD AND INTRUSIVE, to the abysmal acting from a cast who appear to be robots attempting to display emotions they've never experienced, to the downright awful ADR which results in most dialogue being out of sync and sounding like something from an 80s Kung Fu film, a really really bad on,
to the sound design that appears to have been attempted by someone who has never heard sound of any kind before. Demon Hunter is an embarrassing excuse of a film.

Nothing works here, the script steals from a dozen better films, its like Blade without a budget, Underworld with a serious amount of pretentiousness. The writing is dreadful and makes the average Asylum production feel like a Marvel film. It's rare to find a film that does nothing at all right, but here it is, a film in which not one thing works, it's like someone took the cheapest and worst porn film ever made and then removed the nudity and sex, though most porn stars would be prouder to be in Big Black Cocks in Tight White Holes XV than in this garbage.

Look, I have the up most respect for anyone who makes a film and gets it out there but that doesn't mean that the world needs to see your passion project. Demon Hunter is an awful film, an awful, awful film. An action film in which the fight scenes are comical, a horror film in which the only horror is that felt by the viewer when they realise that this is an 85 minute film.

Half a star simply because it made me laugh more than many recent comedies.


Cherry Falls - Better than it has any right to be, Cherry Falls is the best Scream sequel ever made with an unusual twist on genre expectations. It's not quite the classic it could have been but the story is strong, the cast is good and there's some nice tension but the kills are a little on the tame side and the hinted at sexual undercurrents never really go anywhere. The much talked about uncut version has yet to see the light of day which is a shame as it promises a far more subversive film that what we got.

Dead Shack - Meh, pretty generic fare that desperately strives to be a modern comedy horror classic but has neither enough horror or comedy to work. It's fitfully fun with a good cast and likeable characters but its low budget shows and it feels less like a fully formed film as it does a short padded out.

Creepozoids - A great poster does not a great film make and Creepozoids, unfortunately, manages at 65 minutes to feel overlong and boring. Yes the FX work is decent and there's one or two fun moments but overall it feels like a film thrown together in the hopes of something sticking. Remove the shower scene and this could easily be a PG rating which is kind of the opposite of what one wants from a film marketed as a sleazy sci-fi.

Ghsotbusters Extended Cut - Far better than is has any right to be, Ghostbusters is a light and fun big budget blockbuster that is funny, smart and looks great. Yes, some of the dialogue is a little too forced, the run time could do with losing 20 minutes and the character of Kevin is incredibly mishandled but overall there's more to like there than not. Jones and McKinnon are great and own the film, they bring a manic energy that's welcome and the inclusion of the original cast is a nice touch though Murray's cameo is awful and Akyroyd appears to be in a rush somewhere.

The biggest problem with the film is just how indebted to the original it is. With so much of the film spent pay homage to what came before, Ghostbusters never really finds an identity of its own. The films best moments come when it does it's own thing and hopefully the sequel will forget about tipping its hat and just do its own thing.

Psycho Cop Returns - Psycho Cop Returns is exactly what one expects, trashy, sleazy and fun it's the kind of early 90s direct to VHS horror film that the world needs more of. Full of gratuitous and unnecessary nudity, a decent helping of gore and in Psycho Cop himself, one of the best genre antagonists around. His deadpan one-liners are great, they don't all work but there's a rare joy to be found in dialogue such as "You have the right to remain dead. Anything you say can and will be considered very strange because you're dead. You have the right to an attorney, but it won't do you any good because you're dead. Do you understand these rights that have just been read to you? Are you even listening? It would be a lot easier if you were a little more cooperative!".

The Evil Within - Despite some questionable performances, an at times cheap aesthetic and some shoddy writing The Evil Within still manages to impress. The brainchild and passion project of a Getty heir with a severe meth addition, The Evil Within was shot over 6 years, edited over 7 years and released 2 years after the director's death as a result of meth addiction.

Striking, bold, adult, unsettling, beautiful, demented, dumb, awful, jaw-dropping and what the **** is this are all words that apply to The Evil Within and as a calling card it makes one hell of a statement. It's the kind of singular vision that is rare, a film confident in what it wants to do and say and there is no doubt that had Getty not passed away he would have gone on to great things.

The bloated middle may at times drag but that opening and finale are exceptional making this something to seek out.

Feast - The kind of honest to goodness cheesy horror comedy that works, the violence is well staged and the gore plentiful. The laughs for the most part land and all in all Feast is a bloody good time that promise a little and then goes and delivers a whole lot.

Eat Locals - Sure it's grand best sums up Eat Locals, a low key no-budget horror comedy that's light on both but has a charm of its own. Uniting the leads from Lock Stock though not all onscreen this is the kind of no-frills fare whose budget limitations are evident from the get-go but was clearly made by someone will a well-stocked Rolodex of "that guys".

Charming in its way, this is the easy to enjoy nonsense that plays it all with a knowing wink and doesn't outstay its welcome.

Boa vs. Python - Nowhere near as fun as I remembered, Boa vs. Python is SyFy film of thw week by the numbers. Weak characters, cheap fx work, amateur dramatics and a real sense that they were making it up as they went along in whatever eastern European country passed for America.

There's nothing to really recommend here, it's fun in an unassuming brain-dead manner and Hewlett is decent but overall it's overlong and bland and never really gets out of first gear.

A Study in Terror - Holmes vs. the Ripper in this perfectly serviceable and fun spin on the Sherlock mythos. Well acted and with some gorgeous locations, A Study in Terror is a lesser film in the Holmes series but it's rather bloody good and a lot of fun.

Vampire Hookers - Vampire Hookers is a cheap piece of trash but it's a damn fine bit of fun with a wonderful sense of humour and some nice moments. The theme song is a highpoint, it's like a Bond theme but butter as it discuss vampires giving blow jobs.

Mindhunters - A slight slasher with a good cast, a great setup, some nice kills but also some awful one-liners and a lack of tension. Harlin is all over this and the impression is that he took the script and made it his own which is fine but when you have lines of dialogue like "I guess we found out his weakness... bullets" delivered by a deadly serious LL Cool J after a man has been shot in the head it feels like the film may have missed a beat by not going full on dumb action.

Time Walker - Time Walker looks and plays like a low budget made for TV mid-week movie and is all the better for it. It's sheer hookum and is one of those rare treats that promises the ridiculous and not only delivers but goes beyond all expectation. Ben Murphy is great fun as our dashing Indiana Jones in a cardigan and brings some gravitas to a role that could so easily be cliche 101.

The Time Walker is a genius piece of cinema horror, a ludicrous and yet played completely straight set up that never tries to play it tongue in cheek but rather deadly serious all the way through.

The only downside is that promised sequel that never materialised, ending on a To be continued, we deserved to see just how out there a sequel would be.

Re:Born - 100 minutes of bone-crunching violence, sidestepping bullets and Metal Gear Solid looking villains make RE:Born one of the most wtf releases in some time. It's not big or striving to be original but instead wants to tell a simple story in the more brutal of manner and succeeds. Violence is the name of the game here and there's more blood spilt and bones broken during Re:Born than all other action films of the past year combined.

Resurrection - A Se7en rip off the manages to work thanks to a truly ludicrous and out there ending. Lambert is as one expects, squinty and mumbly and Robert Joy as the most obvious killer in cinema history hams it up rather well. Storywise it's familiar and at almost 2 hours long could do with an edit but the kills are great and the killer's workpiece is great and that rooftop finale is a thing of beauty.

Resurrection is fine DTV serial killer fare that's well directed and manages to do something with it's subSe7en set up. It won't ever be looked on fondly for lazy night viewing it's perfect.


Night Fare - Low budget horror at its best, a simple set up leads to some genuinely startling tension that builds in an organic and interesting manner cultivating in one of the most unexpected and impressing finales in some time. It's pulsating score gives the film an early 80s feel and the stripped back narrative and lack of motivation for out killer creates an off-kilter feel that allows the film's cracks to be quickly papered over.

It's by no means perfect or even close to being so but for a 70-minute low budget horror, it's pretty damn good.

Nightmare Weekend - An awe inspiring piece of ****, genuinely one of the oddest and most surreal slices of low budget trash that almost works due to how inept and surreal it all is. Starring a hand puppet that's alive, a bevy of bimbos who dance awkwardly and undress and fornicate in the most rote and unsexual manner possible, some great gore shots and make up FX and even a couple of familiar faces amongst the rabble though with almost the entire cast being over dubbed badly it's hard to really know.

Nightmare Weekend is trash, an unmitigated disaster on almost every level and yet its entertaining and never boring even when the whole thing threatens to descend into the toilet.

Battle Royale II: Requim - As sequels go BRII is a complete an utter bust, a brain dead waste of time that thinks it is striking and daring by trying to bring real-world politics into play but is then too afraid to actually say anything or place any blame. Far too long, full of cheap FX and gore shots and written by an angry teenager it's the cinematic equivalent of Nickleback. No one asked for it and now it's here nobody wants it and is hoping it'll take the message and drink itself to death.

The Brood - David Cronenberg 101, the Brood is a ****ed up look at motherhood and the agony of perceived loss. It's exactly what one expects when they hear that Cronenberg made a film to help him get over a divorce. All kinds of craziness is thrown at the screen in a bid to create a body horror that's equal parts gross and intriguing. Performances vary, some are stilted and monosyllabic while others such as Reed embrace the ridiculous and just go for it.

The Brood is entertaining but as the credits roll it feels more like a short than a feature, it's gorgeously grotesque body mutilation and mutations are icky in a way few others manage and the image of a mother licking blood off of her newborn baby is one of cinema's all-time great wtf moments.

A Quiet Place - A Quiet Place, much like It Follows and Get Out is a critical darling that promises to defy expectation but sadly never amounts to a whole lot. It's a fantastic premise with a botched execution resulting in a film which fails not because it's bad but simply because of how middle of the road it is.

It is a film in which every twist is telegraphed 15 minutes beforehand, a film in which in place of exposition we instead have a dream board full of pandering and banal hints at what is to come. It is a film in which blind creatures that can hear a pin drop at 5 miles stalk the land but yet no one in the world seems to think about using a sound as a weapon.

It's hard to **** all over A Quiet Place, it at least strives to do something interesting but is just let down by a poor script, pedestrian direction, crap CGI and a complete lack of logic. Worst of all it never answers the question as to whether a fart is a death sentence in 2020 or ponders how it is that women have survived not being able to get the last word in.

Downrange - The opening 10 minutes of Downrange is one of the most excruciating pieces of filmmaking ever attempted. It's an exercise in endurance full of truly awful acting, cringe-worthy dialogue, weird edits and a sense that we are watching some no-budget slasher film from a first-time filmmaker and not the latest from an established and celebrated director.

Thankfully, once the violence starts the film kicks it up a gear and delivers the goods. The daytime setting is a treat, it's rare to see an exploitation film set entirely beneath a blazing sun but here Kitamura makes the most of it. With nowhere to run and few places to hide Downrange slowly cranks up the tension in an exhilarating game of cat an mouse culminating in a finale that is at once shocking awful and fun.

Acting here, for the most part, is awful, there's some weird tonal shifts and a number of scenes look like they were shot on the cheap over a couple hours long after the fact. The entire final 10 minutes is just plain odd and feels totally out of place.

Downrange is not a good film, in fact it's a bad one but when brain matter is being spilt and eyes popped with bullets then the film manages to come alive. It's just a shame that these moments are few and far between.

The Cloverfield Paradox - The Cloverfield Paradox is a decent rip off of Sunshine by way of Event Horizon with a smidgen of Alien and pretty much every other iconic sci-fi film for the past 50 years ruined thanks to an odd decision to retroactively tack on some giant monsters so as to pretend that this is somehow linked to the Cloverfield film.

I get what Abrams is trying to do with these films, it's commendable in a way but at the end of the day it's becoming clearer and clearer that neither Abrams or anyone else has a clue what they are doing and tacking on some unrelated bull**** does more damage than good.

The Cloverfield Paradox as a film in its own right is Saturday night SyFy movie of the week only with prettier visuals and worse acting. Chris O'Dowd an actor he is not, his performance here is cringe-worthy, a sad attempt to add some comedy and levity to a film that didn't need it. Don't get me wrong, I've liked O'Dowd in some comedic roles but Calvary and now this proves that he simply cannot do any heavy lifting and is incapable of delivering a line of dialogue in a convincing manner. The rest of the cast range from fine to forgettable but no one really makes much out of the one-note characters.

It's hard to **** on The Cloverfield Paradox, it's not bad in any way bar the whole tacked on monsters, it's just that as a film it's safe and familiar. Much like A Quiet Place, you can guess every twist 15 minutes before the film springs it.

What is a crock of **** is that truly god awful final shot, The Cloverfield Paradox ends on one of the most inexplicably dumb moments in cinema history. It's the kind of truly terrible moment that makes me wish that Abrams would do the decent thing and take the franchise outside and put it out of is misery or at least stop taking perfectly decent middle of the road fare and trying to make it fit some franchise that no one cares about.

Taking Lives - Why, why does this exist. Taking Lives is a decent setup squandered on a by the numbers Hollywood serial killer thriller that is so dumb that it makes my head hurt. It's a film which would never work now based on the ludicrous setup and while a game cast tries their best they're underserved by a poor script that's pretty much Criminal Minds by the numbers.

Mountaintop Motel Massacre - Regional horror of the 80s kind, cheap and cheerful but with an abundance of good performances, an evocative and haunting location and a couple of decent gore moments. It's pretty formulaic fare and the final moments feel a little out of left field but all in all Mountaintop Motel Massacre is a fine genre entry with a demented sense of unease.