Santa has to be cheap skate now

Mrsmum · 09-12-2018 8:04pm

Actually another thing you'd notice is that it doesn't always follow that the kids of rich parents get more presents or even dearer stuff than kids from poorer backgrounds for Christmas. 'Poor' parents often push the boat out much further, throwing crazy money at it,perhaps wanting Christmas to make up for lack of treats at other times. And imho it's not that they are following the example of richer households but actually setting where the bar is themselves. It is often 'poor' kids that will have all the latest gadgets, branded clothes etc before anyone else in the class.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 09-12-2018 8:29pm

Then they’re really not poor. My family was and there is no way my parents could have afforded all that stuff.

Paddy Cow · 09-12-2018 8:30pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

It's the last bastion of magic in this life even as a parent silently setting out everything tip toeing around as the house sleeps thinking of the kids sleeping and what awaits them the next morning

This time passes in a flash and I will miss it

Do you put out milk and biscuits for Santa? We would check that he had eaten our stash and our parents would always leave an empty glass of milk and a plate with some crumbs as proof that he had accepted our generosity :pac:

Mrsmum · 09-12-2018 8:37pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Then they’re really not poor. My family was and there is no way my parents could have afforded all that stuff.

Parents back then would never have gotten out loans from CU or elsewhere just to buy Xmas stuff and spend the entire next year paying it off. That's commonplace now.

MadDog76 · 09-12-2018 10:44pm

Some idiot posts their opinion on FB...... couldn't give a f@ck.

What other children get from Santa compared to what my children get..... couldn't give a f@ck.

We, or more accurately Santa, spoils our children on Christmas morning and that ain't changing.

Also those people saying that kids only believe until they're 6/7 are talking rubbish..... I don't know a child that doesn't genuinely believe under 10 years old at least.
It varies from 10 to 12 and from 12 onwards they would need to be subtly told before they start Secondary school.
If a 6/7 year old child doesn't believe in Santa then something has gone badly wrong.......

BBFAN · 09-12-2018 11:10pm

As someone whose hubbie fecked off to America when the kids were small Christmas was always a huge struggle but the way around it is to tell children that Santa can't possibly make loads of things for one child because he has lots of children to think about.

As a result my children never really asked for something that was out of santas reach. Although I still went to any length to get them what I knew they truly wanted and as a result they were always delighted they got more than they asked for.

Gimme A Pound · 09-12-2018 11:31pm

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Exactly. And not having difference in Santa gift values would further promote snowflake syndrome. Its good for kids to learn, early, and it a observational, osmosis way, that Santa, like everything else in life is unequal. He does think some kids have been better than others and deserve more expensive presents.
Equalising and sanitising everything for kids does them a disservice, and when the reality of the world hits them, the shock is dreadful, prompting mental health issues, depression, outrage, offence at everything.
The world is tough - protecting kids from that fact does lifelong harm to them.

Tell children a magical man comes down the chimney every Christmas night with their presents but don't shield them from the harsh realities of life, eh? :pac:

The hysterical stuff about mental health issues is just the TROL schtick - give it up lad!

I also find "Let children be children and don't take the magic away" posts coming from the very same people posting "I don't give a **** about other kids feeling they got less" to be most ironic.

Maybe they don't notice - hopefully they don't, but it's really not a terrible idea - if delivered in a shouty, preachy manner. That's the part I find annoying.

And this isn't an "in my day" musing, but it's a fact that much more is spent on Christmas now. I grew up in a middle-class home and no way did they have the money to get the amount kids get now. We all got around the same amount of stuff - whether middle-class or lower income.

RocketRaccoon · 09-12-2018 11:51pm

Koda Fierce Violin wrote: »

Tell children a magical man comes down the chimney every Christmas night with their presents but don't shield them from the harsh realities of life, eh? :pac:

The hysterical stuff about mental health issues is just the TROL schtick - give it up lad!

I also find "Let children be children and don't take the magic away" posts coming from the very same people posting "I don't give a **** about other kids feeling they got less" to be most ironic.

Maybe they don't notice - hopefully they don't, but it's really not a terrible idea - if delivered in a shouty, preachy manner. That's the part I find annoying.

And this isn't an "in my day" musing, but it's a fact that much more is spent on Christmas now. I grew up in a middle-class home and no way did they have the money to get the amount kids get now. We all got around the same amount of stuff - whether middle-class or lower income.

And when you have kids of your own, all that will vanish.

Gimme A Pound · 09-12-2018 11:57pm

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

And when you have kids of your own, all that will vanish.

What will vanish? I'm not saying anything to have a go at parents - I fecking love the Santa thing. I'm just saying what's being complained about by that woman on Facebook is hardly so terrible, and spend what you like, don't mind her, but it is kinda ironic that people are being a bit selective.

Idle Passerby · 10-12-2018 1:09am

MadDog76 wrote: »

Also those people saying that kids only believe until they're 6/7 are talking rubbish..... I don't know a child that doesn't genuinely believe under 10 years old at least.
It varies from 10 to 12 and from 12 onwards they would need to be subtly told before they start Secondary school.
If a 6/7 year old child doesn't believe in Santa then something has gone badly wrong.......

This is total nonsense surely? I was 7/8 when I pegged it and I think I was fairly late in figuring it out having spoken to others. My sister still "believed" well into her teens, i.e. she figured it out about the same age I did but she was craftier than me and kept quiet. Maybe kids are more naive these days (I doubt it). Its the parents that are naive when they say their 12 year old still believes in Santa. If a 12 year old hasn't started to question the logistical issues of Santa, Id be concerned.

Gimme A Pound · 10-12-2018 1:15am

I started questioning the differences (e.g. why do some kids get their presents wrapped and others don't) at about the age of seven or eight but simultaneously convinced myself to continue believing until 10 and a half. And that was even after a girl in my class revealed the truth.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 10-12-2018 2:33am

Idle Passerby wrote: »

This is total nonsense surely? I was 7/8 when I pegged it and I think I was fairly late in figuring it out having spoken to others. My sister still "believed" well into her teens, i.e. she figured it out about the same age I did but she was craftier than me and kept quiet. Maybe kids are more naive these days (I doubt it). Its the parents that are naive when they say their 12 year old still believes in Santa. If a 12 year old hasn't started to question the logistical issues of Santa, Id be concerned.

No you weren’t. 30 years ago or nowadays, 7/8 year old will still for the most part believe. 7 and 8 year olds who don’t believe would be outliers.

10-12-2018 10:51am

Shefwedfan wrote: »

Kids only get a few years these days feeling the real joy of Santa, why do we have to ruin it for them?

To be honest I do not really care what other parents do or do not do at Christmas with their own children. However I asked question like the above for myself and my own kids when it came time to do Santa or not - and in the end I questioned why I need to fill their years of natural awe and imagination with fairy tales and lies when I can do the same thing with reality.

I got some push back from people on and off line for this 4 or 5 years ago but now I get almost none at all if it comes up.

Shefwedfan wrote: »

Between parents saying they don't want to lie to their children it is younger and younger they find out and Christmas is never really the same after you find out.....

That is one of the reasons I did not do it in fact. The idea "It is not the same after you find out" made me wonder why do it then? Why not find other sources of enjoyment, tradition, magic, wonder, and love that will remain consistent and can never be taken away from them.

Shefwedfan wrote: »

I went to original post of this and of course you have the usual gobs**t going on about telling them the truth. Wan***s, they never realise the child goes in and ruins it for the rest of the school

Sure there are such people - but lets not conflate them with the meme in the OP. They are two entirely different things. The meme in the OP says nothing at all about telling children Santa is not real.

To be fair to the parents who do tell their children there is no Santa - and I am one of them - they are likely doing that for their own reasons. As is their right. They can not control what the child then does with that information however. Any more than we can control - if a child finds out about sex - them going in and telling other kids what sex is.

Shefwedfan wrote: »

My kids are young, it’s not like they are getting a new bmw or anything....a present from daddy is not half as exciting or wonderful as something from Santa

I do not know your kids of course - but I have to say the above does not appear to be true for any kid I ever have known. In fact I have noticed once the presents are there - the Santa part of the whole thing very quickly gets entirely forgotten. Even in situations - like in a Santa's grotto - when there is an actual Santa there. Once the present is in the hand - even the Santa standing right there beside them can pretty much "talk to the hand".

10-12-2018 10:51am

Heroditas wrote: »

Ah yes, Sarah Ockwell Smith, a former homeopath and an proponent of attachment parenting.

Well in fairness to her - "former" homeopath shows she is open to change and there is some hope for redemption and improvement in her other nonsense and painfully weird ideas.

Squaredude wrote: »

Probably from the same crowd that put up similar messages on mothers/fathers day, saying that it's insensitive to those that didn't have a good mother/father

Well at least with the OP I can see where their thinking if coming from, even without having to agree with it. The "mothers/fathers day" people however I can not say I see their point all that well at all. That one seems like well meant nonsense to me.

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Nothing beats the magic of sitting down with a child writing a Santa letter asking for socks and jocks............

Isn't that interesting though? The entire conversation does tend to go around the excitement of Santa and his magic and the idea he is visiting. The magic or writing this magic man a letter and he comes into the house using magic and leaves presents.

But somehow the "magic" if not so magical if the presents are mundane? So this makes me question if the source of the wonder and magic the Santa narrative is meant to bring has anything whatsoever to do with the Santa Narrative at all.

_Brian wrote: »

People knocking the Santa idea are just sad. They have no idea of the magic it brings to kids and the house for everyone. They need to get out and get a life and leave people do what they want.

Many of us who do not do the Santa thing have every idea that you have about the value of magic and imagination and fantasy in the lives of kids actually. We just bring it to our children's lives in other ways and through other means and without needing to call the people who _do_ do it "sad" or judge them in any way.

Zorya wrote: »

I think magic, wonder, mystery and awe are very important parts of a child's psyche. It leaves the possibility there that as adults they will find those threads again in ordinary life.

Very important yes. I have listened to pretty much every talk by Neil DeGrasse Tyson for example and at the end of pretty much every single one there is a Q+A session. And in pretty much every Q+A at least one parent asks Tyson how to get their children curious and engaged with science and feeling awe and wonder. When and why did they lose it when they naturally have it pretty much from birth?

My goal therefore has always been not to set them up so they might "possibly" re-discover this stuff as adults. But to set them up with a kind of wonder and awe and mystery and curiosity that they never lose in the first place and so never need to rediscover later. And my fear with things like the Santa Conspiracy is that it would do the exact opposite of that. That with the discovery of the lie - much of their investment in wonder and awe and so forth would go with it.

Ninthlife wrote: »

The look of wonder in kids eyes on Xmas morning is worth every penny and every hour of work to pay for it.

I love that look too in my kids eyes. And fair play to you for working hard and even extra hard to make it happen the way you do. No one should take that away from you. I just get the same look in my kids in ways that often cost no money at all - and I can do it at any time of the year.

mariaalice · 10-12-2018 11:03am

Hands up to actually kinda of agreeing with that, in the end, what matters is love, the wonder, and magic is not increased in proportion to the cost of the presents I remember nearly passing out with excitement getting a selection box.

meeeeh · 10-12-2018 11:06am

How does every parenting thread become competition about who is better parent and whose kids are smarter, more into science, figures out there is no Santa sooner, blah blah..

mariaalice · 10-12-2018 11:11am

meeeeh wrote: »

How does every parenting thread become competition about who is better parent and whose kids are smarter, more into science, figures out there is no Santa sooner, blah blah..

The children I feel sorry for are those that have parents who think every toy is an educational opportunity, there is a great cartoon of Santa finding a rice cake left out for him, and Santa says it will be the STEM toy for this child.

sbsquarepants · 10-12-2018 11:20am

Noo wrote: »

If someone got something much better than me I would say "wow you're so lucky to get that", and that'd be the end of it. Kids really do not have the same materialistic views as adults.....at least kids of Santa age shouldn't.

A lot of this bullshít stems I think from people who don't have kids, don't have any real understanding of how their minds work and yet seem to know every last detail of how they should be raised!

Santy age kids are (generally) not materialistic in any way. We asked the kids what they wanted so we could write our santy lists a while back - the 4 year old wanted a toaster to upgrade her battered old kitchen and the 3 year old wanted some play lettuce (presumably to put on the newly available toast:D)

I doesn't matter to them what they get, they'll love it because it's from santy and the people who come up with these idiotic ideas just don't get that. They don't tot up the value and calculate that johnny next door somehow got 45% more stuff despite being 73% more naughty and rail against the injustice - they just play with their toys.....like kids do.

topper75 · 10-12-2018 11:27am

biko wrote: »

Santa even employs ethnic elves.
Top chap.

I would rephrase the OP's pic to say:

Dear Parents,

Make sure you actually go to work during the year and earn some money rather than sitting around on welfare like a hippy.

That way you will be able to buy something other than socks/coats for kids at Christmas and they won't be embarrassed in the school yard when discussing what Santa brought them.

Thanks.

meeeeh · 10-12-2018 11:34am

The 6 year old in our house constantly picks cheaper presents than her 3 years older brother. I stopped feeling guilty and I'm just happy at least one of them is not overly expensive. When they have a bit of money to spend they also shop completely differently, one thinks, compares the prices, combines what items (usually Lego) he can get for the amount, the younger one picks the first shinny pink item she sees. Usually something cheap on a stand at the door. The cheap pink one is probably a good bit smarter than her brother.

10-12-2018 12:12pm

I was 5 i think when i found out, I jumped on my presents hidden !!

My own kids now are at the age where 1 believes and 1 doesn't and I am dreading the youngest not believing, it does take a good bit from the fun.

We have local kids who are not Christian, and go about telling everyone Santa isnt real. Yet you mention anything about starving yourself for 30 days and your a rasict yet we need to cowtow to all this non-sense.

I work hard, very hard to provide myself and my family with better things than I had growing up. It means I need to sacrifice other aspects of my life with them such as not getting them from school or being gone to work some days before they wake up, so why do I need to be made feel guilty that the times I can do more than others I shouldnt. Will Mss orkel what the **** now tell parents not to get kids from school as others cant????

Gimme A Pound · 10-12-2018 1:16pm

mariaalice wrote: »

The children I feel sorry for are those that have parents who think every toy is an educational opportunity

What's so terrible about that?

mariaalice · 10-12-2018 1:19pm

Koda Fierce Violin wrote: »

What's so terrible about that?

Because they need to be just children enjoying themselves sometimes.

Gimme A Pound · 10-12-2018 1:23pm

mariaalice wrote: »

Because they need to be just children enjoying themselves sometimes.

The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Most of the time when you're playing games, doing activities, seeing what a toy can do etc with small children you're educating them anyway without them even knowing.

DS86DS · 10-12-2018 1:39pm

Reminds me of this golden oldie

"Did you hear about the miserable Cavan man? He went outside on Christmas Eve with a shotgun, fired it into the air, then went back inside to tell the kids that Santa had committed suicide"

meeeeh · 10-12-2018 1:48pm

Koda Fierce Violin wrote: »

The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Most of the time when you're playing games, doing activities, seeing what a toy can do etc with small children you're educating them anyway without them even knowing.

Yes exactly so you don't need some flashing, singing monstrosity that tries to teach a three year old maths. The child won't become an Einstein pressing a button and hearing C for carrot. The best toys for kids are those they play with and if that means wasting your money on Pokemon cards it's preferable than something that will collect dust on a shelve or drive parents mad with it's screeching.

Grayson · 10-12-2018 2:05pm

topper75 wrote: »

Santa even employs ethnic elves.
Top chap.

I would rephrase the OP's pic to say:

Dear Parents,

Make sure you actually go to work during the year and earn some money rather than sitting around on welfare like a hippy.

That way you will be able to buy something other than socks/coats for kids at Christmas and they won't be embarrassed in the school yard when discussing what Santa brought them.

Thanks.

Because everyone who earns money earns loads? It's not about Employed Vs Unemployed. It's about rich Vs not-rich.

I don't think it's a bad sentiment. Explaining to a kid that a different kid got more/less than them because the other kids parents earn more/less is easier than saying that it's because Santa likes the other kid more.

And from what i can tell, no-one is saying that kids shouldn't get presents from santa. Or that parents don't get to spoil their kids.

I really don't see what all the outrage on this thread is about.

Grayson · 10-12-2018 2:06pm

Koda Fierce Violin wrote: »

The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Most of the time when you're playing games, doing activities, seeing what a toy can do etc with small children you're educating them anyway without them even knowing.

Lego is a fantastic example. It's educational and fun.

meeeeh · 10-12-2018 2:14pm

Grayson wrote: »

I don't think it's a bad sentiment. Explaining to a kid that a different kid got more/less than them because the other kids parents earn more/less is easier than saying that it's because Santa likes the other kid more.

Why would you say any of that? Mine know we won't let them ask Santa for some presents for various reasons. What is wrong with just being parent and saying no. Also the type of presents kids get have often very little to do with parental income.

Mitch Connor · 10-12-2018 2:21pm

I don't see the problem with this request (not like it is being forced).

why not doing something small to not make some other parent feel sh1t? Its not your fault if they do, but you can help to avoid it. So why not.

You still have Santa, you still have that magic, you aren't depriving your kid of anything you wanted to give them, and you are getting to see their delight with regards to a present they know you got them.

Who is losing in this?

Santa has to be cheap skate now

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