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God and the Devil News

  • 25-01-2019 2:11am
    #1
    upupup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭


    News just in that God and the Devil have made up,put their differences behind them and hugged it out.
    Hell is closed and the fires have been Quenched(big thanks to the Orc fire crew).Satan is moving back to his old home in Heaven.The Demons and all Satans crew will be joining him in Heaven after some integration classes.
    The Souls in hell will be relocated before going to Heaven,probably to purgatory until all the paperwork is satisfied for "Heaven"

    God has also apoligised to All on planet Earth for the lack of information about "Life" and allowing "Freewill" to do the things it has done:(
    Jesus is setting up a twitter and instagram account for his Dad so no need to pray anymore.. Jesus said "The last time I prayed was before my crucifixtion and look what happened" but he had a very strange look in his eye..??

    Jesus said "Look,,,,Dad is forty or fifty Quadrulant years old so give him a break,he tried his best but his silly argument with Satan over "Good and Evil" stressed him out and he lost interest in Earth.
    We asked Jesus if he would be taking control of Earth from God but he just smiled and ascended into Heaven.

    News from our Buddhist reporter is that Buddah is also in secret talks with nothing or nobody.??????????


Comments

  • #2
    RMAOK
    Registered Users Posts: 11,224 ✭✭✭✭RMAOK


    What? :confused:


  • #3
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    Was this peace brokered by The Hungry Referee?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg13cSrWSpw


  • #4
    Sam Quentin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,229 ✭✭✭Sam Quentin


    wot.,,you smokin sheeeet skunk.


  • #5
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Sounds like a new Chris De Burgh song.


  • #6
    Dakotabigone
    Site Banned Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Dakotabigone


    Berties_Horse wrote: »
    It's one in the morning, let's sneak this sh1te sandwich past the censors.

    Are you referencing the op?


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  • #7
    upupup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭upupup


    Sam Quentin wrote: »
    wot.,,you smokin sheeeet skunk.
    not Skunk,,,White Widow,homegrown:cool::D


  • #8
    upupup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭upupup


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    Sounds like a new Chris De Burgh song.

    I'm Chris de Burgs love child.....my Ma was the Lady in Beige.


  • #9
    yerwanthere123
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 7,537 Mod ✭✭✭✭yerwanthere123


    upupup wrote: »
    News just in that God and the Devil have made up,put their differences behind them and hugged it out.
    Hell is closed and the fires have been Quenched(big thanks to the Orc fire crew).Satan is moving back to his old home in Heaven.The Demons and all Satans crew will be joining him in Heaven after some integration classes.
    The Souls in hell will be relocated before going to Heaven,probably to purgatory until all the paperwork is satisfied for "Heaven"

    God has also apoligised to All on planet Earth for the lack of information about "Life" and allowing "Freewill" to do the things it has done:(
    Jesus is setting up a twitter and instagram account for his Dad so no need to pray anymore.. Jesus said "The last time I prayed was before my crucifixtion and look what happened" but he had a very strange look in his eye..??

    Jesus said "Look,,,,Dad is forty or fifty Quadrulant years old so give him a break,he tried his best but his silly argument with Satan over "Good and Evil" stressed him out and he lost interest in Earth.
    We asked Jesus if he would be taking control of Earth from God but he just smiled and ascended into Heaven.

    News from our Buddhist reporter is that Buddah is also in secret talks with nothing or nobody.??????????

    giphy.gif


  • #10
    aziz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 746 ✭✭✭aziz


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    Sounds like a new Chris De Burgh song.

    Are they still playing chess


  • #11
    Sephiroth_dude
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 80,790 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    Ass milk


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  • #12
    Tiguan Joe
    Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Tiguan Joe


    upupup wrote: »
    not Skunk,,,White Widow,homegrown:cool::D
    ?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.FpYYVVBDjpxFFmDfNx0Y7gAAAA%26pid%3D15.1&f=1


  • #13
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    upupup wrote: »
    News just in that God and the Devil have made up,put their differences behind them and hugged it out.
    Hell is closed and the fires have been Quenched(big thanks to the Orc fire crew).Satan is moving back to his old home in Heaven.The Demons and all Satans crew will be joining him in Heaven after some integration classes.
    The Souls in hell will be relocated before going to Heaven,probably to purgatory until all the paperwork is satisfied for "Heaven"

    God has also apoligised to All on planet Earth for the lack of information about "Life" and allowing "Freewill" to do the things it has done:(
    Jesus is setting up a twitter and instagram account for his Dad so no need to pray anymore.. Jesus said "The last time I prayed was before my crucifixtion and look what happened" but he had a very strange look in his eye..??

    Jesus said "Look,,,,Dad is forty or fifty Quadrulant years old so give him a break,he tried his best but his silly argument with Satan over "Good and Evil" stressed him out and he lost interest in Earth.
    We asked Jesus if he would be taking control of Earth from God but he just smiled and ascended into Heaven.

    News from our Buddhist reporter is that Buddah is also in secret talks with nothing or nobody.??????????
    Man, that's old news....
    https://twitter.com/ThatBloke_Jesus/status/1086975455574585345


  • #14
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,739 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    God, the Devil and Bob was a good show.

    All eyes on Kursk. Slava Ukraini.



  • #15
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,865 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    I'd put money on upupup not being upupup til the afternoon.


  • #16
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    Buford T. Justice V wrote: »
    Man, that's old news....
    https://twitter.com/ThatBloke_Jesus/status/1086975455574585345

    Once you "pop" you can't stop.


  • #17
    upupup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭upupup


    BREAKING NEWS!...Satan breaks his silence

    “We’ve some awful pricks down here, let me tell you, but I would rather genuflect to God himself before I let any of those steaming piles of cancer puss pass through my gates,” a worried looking Satan explained.
    http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2019/02/07/we-have-standards-here-satan-distances-himself-from-brexiteers/


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