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Wedding Gift Query

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  • 07-03-2019 11:40am
    #1
    hdowney
    Registered Users Posts: 12,921 ✭✭✭✭


    If going to the full wedding as a solo and planning on giving a cash gift - the correct amount so no worries there, would you also give a small gift - like a set of glasses and the like?

    Thanks.


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    #2
    BuboBubo
    Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭BuboBubo


    hdowney wrote: »
    If going to the full wedding as a solo and planning on giving a cash gift - the correct amount so no worries there, would you also give a small gift - like a set of glasses and the like?

    Thanks.

    Up to yourself really, if giving cash the going rate for a solo guest is €100 apparently.

    I am awaiting a lambasting now.... ;)


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    #3
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Honestly I'd say no. A cash gift is more than generous.


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    #4
    B_ecke_r
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭B_ecke_r


    Cash should be fine unless it's something small and sentimental that you want to buy for them


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    #5
    love_love
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭love_love


    I used to always get something small along with a cash gift as I'm used to putting a lot of thought into gifts, but now getting married myself, I hope no-one feels the same way as we really don't need our home filled with 100 small gestures!


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    #6
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Cash is fine. I wouldn't give a present as well! I'd only do that if it was someone I was very close to and had something very specific, small and sentimental in mind. I certainly wouldn't buy a set of glasses just for the sake of it though!


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    #7
    Charlenesully
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10 ✭Charlenesully


    BuboBubo wrote: »
    Up to yourself really, if giving cash the going rate for a solo guest is €100 apparently.

    I am awaiting a lambasting now.... ;)

    €50 is more than enough solo. It’s a wedding not a business.


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    #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Charlenesully wrote: »
    €50 is more than enough solo. It’s a wedding not a business.

    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.


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    #9
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.

    Though I'd probably give the hundred myself, you're not really supposed to be "paying for your meal". Should just sell tickets if that's the case.


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    #10
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.


    There is no minimum amount to give as a couple or a solo guest. Nobody is invited to a wedding to pay for their meal. When will people get over this ridiculous notion :rolleyes:


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    #11
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.

    Why on earth should I pay for the food I may or may not eat at the event you invited me too? Why would you invite people to your party and then expect them to cover your costs?


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    #12
    Sebastian Dangerfield
    Registered Users Posts: 1,793 ✭✭✭Sebastian Dangerfield


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.

    Says who? I do give 200 for people I like, 150 for acquaintances, more for close family. The idea that 200 is the "minimum" is nuts


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    #13
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.

    €200 is the minimum for a couple? Aaaahhh, no. I hate things like this being stated because if it’s repeated enough then the notion might take hold, putting pressure on wedding guests to give more than they can afford. There’s a “keeping up with the Jones’s” aspect to wedding gift-giving in Ireland that is really distasteful.


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    #14
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    Ghekko wrote: »
    There is no minimum amount to give as a couple or a solo guest. Nobody is invited to a wedding to pay for their meal. When will people get over this ridiculous notion :rolleyes:

    Actually, in Ireland people frequently ARE invited to a wedding to pay for more than their meal. Why do you think there are so many weddings where every nodding acquaintance of the happy couple are invited? They do a Nox001-like estimate of how many 100 a head they will need to cover the whole cost of the wedding.


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    #15
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    €50 is enough. Covers your meal plus a little extra.


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    #16
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭skallywag


    No gift required, cash in a card is more than sufficient.

    As for what constitutes a reasonable cash gift, perhaps a kind wedding forum mod could setup a sticky on this topic, seeing as it gets done to death, and even then subsequently regurgitated, resurrected, and brought out for another round of dead horse flogging.
     Oh, look, there is in fact one ...

    Anyway, my own take:

    200 does tend to be the expected norm if you are a couple with comfortable spending power, though this is certainly not expected otherwise. I agree that many couples do in fact do a tally in advance of what they expect to receive, and compare that to the actuals.


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    #17
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    I would say for the full wedding €50 for a single and €150 for a couple. Add €50 to that if its family or a particularly close friend.
    As for an afters invite, a token should suffice, depends on the relationship but I wouldn’t spend more than €50 in any case.


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    #18
    Keco
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭Keco


    200 for a couple 100 for solo. Couple expectations caught up on solo years ago used to be 100 for solo 150 for couple. People will of course disagree with me. If you can't afford it that's one thing I am sure the couple would like you to be there more than a cash gift but if it's tightness or lack of planning then that's a different story. No bride and groom should have expectations on gifts though imo


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    #19
    Abel Ruiz
    Registered Users Posts: 887 ✭✭✭Abel Ruiz


    Keco wrote: »
    200 for a couple 100 for solo. Couple expectations caught up on solo years ago used to be 100 for solo 150 for couple. People will of course disagree with me. If you can't afford it that's one thing I am sure the couple would like you to be there more than a cash gift but if it's tightness or lack of planning then that's a different story. No bride and groom should have expectations on gifts though imo

    But you said what the expectations should be???
    More 2005 rubbish.


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    #20
    Keco
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭Keco


    Abel Ruiz wrote: »
    But you said what the expectations should be???
    More 2005 rubbish.

    Put it like this I wouldn't give less. If you are invited to a wedding it is generally family or friends you give a gift to help them enjoy either their day or their life in the future. If someone can't afford a gift I'd prefer them to come anyway because I am inviting them to be part of my day not to make money.


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    #21
    Charles Ingles
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭Charles Ingles


    Id never give cash or voucher for a wedding present so distasteful.
    The whole idea is a "present" not an envelope with cash.
    A good quality pot's and pan set is something that every couple needs and will be around long after the cash is gone


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    #22
    Keco
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭Keco


    Charles Ingles wrote: »
    Id never give cash or voucher for a wedding present so distasteful.
    The whole idea is a "present" not an envelope with cash.
    A good quality pot's and pan set is something that every couple needs and will be around long after the cash is gone
    Oh I hope my guests don't think the same!!! I dread the Waterford crystal glasses or vase. It would end up in the attic we don't have the space!! Hopefully you include the gift receipt!


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    #23
    angel eyes 2012
    Registered Users Posts: 896 ✭✭✭angel eyes 2012


    Definitely not a set of glasses. I think we got at least 3 or 4 at our wedding and I ended up giving them to charity as they just gathered dust in the attic.

    What I did for close friends was I took photos on the day of the wedding and went and got the photos developed the next day usually in Boots (took about a half an hour). I had a small photo album already purchased before the wedding and if they were having a next day party I'd give them the album at that. The couple were always delighted with the gift and the thought put into it. Viewing photos on a phone is not the same as viewing them in an album. I'd also give a gift of cash incidentally.


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    #24
    Keco
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭Keco


    Keco wrote: »
    Oh I hope my guests don't think the same!!! I dread the Waterford crystal glasses or vase. It would end up in the attic we don't have the space!! Hopefully you include the gift receipt!

    Just to add I do appreciate that sounds a little ungrateful but this is a forum and a place for honestly. I am sure we will get gifts and those you give them will think they are the best gift we have ever received wecwill come across so grateful but I don't know any bride and groom these days who wouldn't prefer cash. Unless just starting out obviously.


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    #25
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,475 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    Shepherd Early Thriftiness wrote: »
    200 is the minimum going rate for a couple so 100 for a person going solo would be what you should be aiming for, 50 euro wouldn’t even pay for the meal.

    Where does this “going rate” come from?, who gets to have a say?

    OP just give €50 if you feel that’s what you can afford. You weren’t asked for your money, and if you were **** them.

    There’s no minimum, no going rate, no standard.


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    #26
    Charles Ingles
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭Charles Ingles


    Forgot about cash.
    The wedding vows the most important thing in the company of family and friends


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    #27
    Foweva Awone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Charles Ingles wrote: »
    Id never give cash or voucher for a wedding present so distasteful.
    The whole idea is a "present" not an envelope with cash.
    A good quality pot's and pan set is something that every couple needs and will be around long after the cash is gone

    But what if they already have a set, or several ... and what if 5 other guests are of the same mindset as you, and they end up with multiple sets of pots taking up space? Besides most people prefer to choose their own cooking utensils according to their own tastes and needs.


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    #28
    Charles Ingles
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭Charles Ingles


    Foweva Awone wrote: »
    But what if they already have a set, or several ... and what if 5 other guests are of the same mindset as you, and they end up with multiple sets of pots taking up space? Besides most people prefer to choose their own cooking utensils according to their own tastes and needs.
    Everyone knows when they invite me to a wedding they are getting the best pan set in arnotts,
    My pot's will be around the duration of the marriage unlike cash in an envelope


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    #29
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Mod note: The OP was posted nearly two months ago, so I imagine the wedding has happened already and she has made her decision. The thread is just descending into the usual bickering about what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”, which has been covered a million times already on this forum. I see no reason to have another go-around, so I’m locking the thread.


This discussion has been closed.
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