Death of Quasimodo (long)

25-10-2006 1:56am #1

May have been posted before, but I'm recalling it from memory as it was told to me by my brother years ago, anyway here goes.........

Quasimodo dies, so the cardinal hasn't got anybody left to ring the bells in the cathedral, and so he puts up a few posters around the town looking for a new bell-ringer. Seeing as it's a well paid job, there are plenty of applicants but none can live up to Quasi's standards and by the end of the fourth day the cardinal is beginning to think that he'll never et anyone in to replace him.

Just then he hears a knock on the door and open's it to find a young man with no arms standing at the door. "Yes, my child" asks the cardinal. "em, I'm here about the ad, y'know the bell-ringer job?" answers the man. The cardinal is in no mood for joking around but has to keep cool as he's a man of the cloth and so says "Look, how are you supposed to ring the bells? You've no arms?". "well, you see I've a special talent that isn't obvious but if i'm up beside the bells, i can guarantee that i can ring a bell better than anyone else you've heard so far" comes the reply.

Intrigued, the cardinal brings the man up to the bell tower and asks him to strut his stuff. The man walks over to a bell and stands there for a second, before violently head-butting the bell........*BONG*........the cardinal's revulsion lasts only a second as the pureness of the bell ring takes him by surprise. Never has he heard such a sound coming from his cathedral. To make sure it wasn't a fluke, he makes him try again. The man obliges, smacks headfirst into the bell and..........*BONG*.....once again it's divine.

"You've got the job" says the Cardinal, "but I'd like to hear it one more time, it's that good". The man tries it a third time, but now that the bell is swinging, he mistimes it and falls down the shaft of the belltower and lands with a thud on the ground below.

Horrified, the cardinal rushes down to where he's lying on the ground and when he get's there a crowd of people standing around the man. They all turn to the cardinal and ask "Who is this man, cardinal?"

The cardinal replies..............

"I Don't know his name, but his face rings a bell!!!!"

25-10-2006 1:59am

I admit I laughed!:)

25-10-2006 2:05am

Part 2 (you're gonna hate me)

At the man's funeral, another man who looks remarkably like the first man approches the cardinal. He too has no arms, and says "Look, Cardinal, that man was my brother, and bell-ringing was his life. I would be greatly honoured if you would give ME the job of bell-ringer in honour of my dead brother"

The cardinal is a bit sceptical, but seeing as it's in honour of the dead man, he decides to let him try it out. So, once again, up in the bell tower and it's the same story. He smacks his face off the bell and....*BONNNNNNG*...this time it's even sweeter than the first man. "AGAIN!!...." cries the cardinal, "let me hear it again..........*BONNNNNNNNNNNG*.....It just gets better and better.

"One more time" cries the cardinal, the accident involving the first man now the last thing on his mind, and sure enough, bell ringer number 2 plummets to his death on the ground below. The cardinal rushes down once more and finds the townspeople gathered around again and they implore him for the second time.........."Who is THIS man?"

The cardinal replies....

"I don't know his name, but he's a dead ringer for his brother!!!!