My snoring has become an issue.

LegacyUser · 15-10-2020 3:18am #1

Hi,

I know I snore, like i haven't recorded myself, but I am totally conviced that I do and that its really bad. I alway offer to sleep in a different room than my girlfriend, but she insists that everything is okay and that I should sleep with her overnight.
The thing is, Im certain she punches me in the head to stop my snoring, and i'd prefer if i slept in a diffferent room and not get punched, to sleeping in the same room as her and getting punched. She outright denies the punching, even though I know it happens.
I never hear myself snore, just lots of disturbed sleep and sore heads.
When I do sleep alone I have undisturbed sleep and dont awake with sore head all through the night.

Is there a snoring cure that works? I don't want to waste my money on gimmicks.

Jequ0n · 15-10-2020 8:00am

There could be lots of different reasons why you are snoring, so you might have to try things or see a useless gp in case it’s polyps or so.
Your partner punching you is an entirely different problem in itself unless you want to sleep wearing a helmet. If your head is sore the next day thats not just a little nudge you are getting.

jam_mac_jam · 15-10-2020 8:08am

Are you overweight? Sometimes losing a bit of weight can make a huge difference to snoring. Apologies if you are not or if you are and don't want to lose weight and I have insulted you. I know it's a sensitive subject.

Nose strips can be very effective. Has really helped in my house. I am an extremely light sleeper.

I would be a bit concerned that she is punching you. My partner snores and a small poke in the side is usually enough.

Also in my partners case there is a big difference when he looses some weight.

LegacyUser · 15-10-2020 8:59am

You seem to have completely missed the actual problem here.

If you're "certain" your partner physically abuses you then end the relationship now.

Someone snoring can merely be nudged to snap them out of it, heck the person needn't even be touched. An exaggerated throat clearing or cough can often snap a snorer out of it.

If her solution is to punch you in the head, then she is an abuser with anger issues.

The onus isn't on an abused partner to change their ways in order to cease being physically abused.

Xterminator · 15-10-2020 9:32am

Ah grow up.

You think that at the end of weeks of disturbed sleep that waking your partner by pushing / pinching nose / or disturbing them with a push or shove is abuse you are not living in the real world.

Thats not to say any of the above ways are the ideal response, but a frustrated response due to repeated disturbed sleep, and they do work, temporarily. IE partner stops snoring, rolls over etc.

OP Snoring has more than one cause. there are strips you pop on your nose, pillows you can use etc that can alleviate certain types of snoring. And of course if you ut on the weight your chances of snoring do increase. If you ignore the symptoms not only will your partner be cross, and sleep deprived, but snoring can also be a symptom of more serious issues too like sleep apnea. So a trip to the GP is probably wise to rule out anything serious.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=snoring&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Snore-Pillow/s?k=Snore+Pillow

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Snoring-Adjustable-Breathable-Solution-Snorers/dp/B08GCD6SXV/ref=sr_1_10?dchild=1&keywords=snoring&qid=1602750573&sr=8-10

not every remedy works for every person, because he causes can be different. but the treatments are fairly cheap so you can try a new pillow, and see if it works, and show her you are attempting to address the issue.

LegacyUser · 15-10-2020 9:55am

Read through the thread again Xterminator.

The OP is not saying that their partner is "pushing / pinching nose / or disturbing them with a push or shove".

They clearly stated that he is "certain she punches me in the head to stop my snoring.

Punches him in the head. Which often leaves him with to again quote him directly; "lots of disturbed sleep and sore heads"

If you believe that punching ones partner in the head does not constitute abuse then you need to reassess who is and who is not living in the real world as you claim.

Xterminator · 15-10-2020 10:05am

I took that comment as light hearted. PerhapsI OP can clear up that point. I do accept there is a difference between a full on punch and a frustrated shove. i imagine the most obvious difference would be that a shove causes no harm .

But the situation is clear OP has been told repeatedly about the snoring and did nothing to address the issue.

Mystery Egg · 15-10-2020 11:57am

I'm really shocked by this post.

How do you know for certain she punches you in the head?

If you are right you need to hear that this is not normal or acceptable. You need to leave her. She's dangerous. Hitting is never ok but punching someone in the head can lead to brain injury or killing them. I'm serious.

washiskin · 15-10-2020 1:48pm

My o/h has the same problem as he is on the big side and has sinus problems which meant not just snoring issues but not being able to breathe at times during the night.
A pharmacist suggested taking his antihistamine at night and also a nasal spray to keep his airways open and clear. There's still the odd bit of snoring (especially if he's sleeping on his back) but the difference is very noticeable.
Maybe have a word with your local pharmacist.

15-10-2020 2:08pm

Tell her not to punch you in the head. That's not cool. A poke in the shoulder is as effective when sleeping next to a snorer. I have a lot of experience. Six months basically without sleep one year. My husband tried a few OTC things and for him it's the mouth guard that works most of the time. I sympathise with both sides as this can really wreck your relationship, and has a serious impact on both lives individually.

Godeatsboogers · 15-10-2020 2:17pm

Do you sleep on your back? I've heard this is one of the most common causes of snoring. Basketball or a football in a school bag on your back in bed. How do you know shes being punching you? Has she been leaving a mark with these punches?

santana75 · 15-10-2020 2:18pm

I've got a solution for you although you may not like it: Sleep on the floor. It cures snoring and will do wonders for your back and posture. Plus the quality of sleep you'll get on the floor is in a different league to that which you get from sleeping on mattress.

silverharp · 15-10-2020 2:36pm

you can download an app for your phone, it will record your snoring during the night. you could then test sleeping on your side which can help

15-10-2020 4:07pm

It would be worth talking to your GP and seeing if a sleep study is a good option. Sore head could be from disturbed sleep

lucalux · 15-10-2020 4:20pm

Some people have success with taping the mouth with a tiny patch of medical tape, stops the mouth opening when asleep and as a result, the snoring for some.

If she is hitting you the snoring isn't the problem though

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 12:40am

Jequ0n wrote: »

There could be lots of different reasons why you are snoring, so you might have to try things or see a useless gp in case it’s polyps or so.
Your partner punching you is an entirely different problem in itself unless you want to sleep wearing a helmet. If your head is sore the next day thats not just a little nudge you are getting.

Is there any harm in going to a competent GP or in what way do they need to be useless?

I suppose getting the throat scoped is a harmless procedure, and if is something as simple as a polyps, that would be great.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 12:50am

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

Are you overweight? Sometimes losing a bit of weight can make a huge difference to snoring. Apologies if you are not or if you are and don't want to lose weight and I have insulted you. I know it's a sensitive subject.

Nose strips can be very effective. Has really helped in my house. I am an extremely light sleeper.

I would be a bit concerned that she is punching you. My partner snores and a small poke in the side is usually enough.

Also in my partners case there is a big difference when he looses some weight.

I am over weigh, according to bmi. No offense taken, I prefer myself with only one chin.

I'll try the nose strips, can only hope they work.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 12:52am

Ummmmm.... wrote: »

You seem to have completely missed the actual problem here.

If you're "certain" your partner physically abuses you then end the relationship now.

Someone snoring can merely be nudged to snap them out of it, heck the person needn't even be touched. An exaggerated throat clearing or cough can often snap a snorer out of it.

If her solution is to punch you in the head, then she is an abuser with anger issues.

The onus isn't on an abused partner to change their ways in order to cease being physically abused.

If I can stop the snoring, then she will have no reason to overreact. It is in my power to find a solution.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 1:07am

Xterminator wrote: »

Ah grow up.

You think that at the end of weeks of disturbed sleep that waking your partner by pushing / pinching nose / or disturbing them with a push or shove is abuse you are not living in the real world.

Thats not to say any of the above ways are the ideal response, but a frustrated response due to repeated disturbed sleep, and they do work, temporarily. IE partner stops snoring, rolls over etc.

OP Snoring has more than one cause. there are strips you pop on your nose, pillows you can use etc that can alleviate certain types of snoring. And of course if you ut on the weight your chances of snoring do increase. If you ignore the symptoms not only will your partner be cross, and sleep deprived, but snoring can also be a symptom of more serious issues too like sleep apnea. So a trip to the GP is probably wise to rule out anything serious.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=snoring&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Snore-Pillow/s?k=Snore+Pillow

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Snoring-Adjustable-Breathable-Solution-Snorers/dp/B08GCD6SXV/ref=sr_1_10?dchild=1&keywords=snoring&qid=1602750573&sr=8-10

not every remedy works for every person, because he causes can be different. but the treatments are fairly cheap so you can try a new pillow, and see if it works, and show her you are attempting to address the issue.

Thanks for the links.
New pillow ordered.
If that doesn't help i'll try the strap.

As for the first link, there is so many things there that I have to wonder about.
Mouth guards, pressure point devices, special rings. As per my OP, I don't want to have to buy and try every gimmick, but yeah, I've lined up a pillow to try.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 1:09am

washiskin wrote: »

My o/h has the same problem as he is on the big side and has sinus problems which meant not just snoring issues but not being able to breathe at times during the night.
A pharmacist suggested taking his antihistamine at night and also a nasal spray to keep his airways open and clear. There's still the odd bit of snoring (especially if he's sleeping on his back) but the difference is very noticeable.
Maybe have a word with your local pharmacist.

Wow, something I can try tonight. Thanks for the tip.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 1:16am

Deleted User wrote: »

Tell her not to punch you in the head. That's not cool. A poke in the shoulder is as effective when sleeping next to a snorer. I have a lot of experience. Six months basically without sleep one year. My husband tried a few OTC things and for him it's the mouth guard that works most of the time. I sympathise with both sides as this can really wreck your relationship, and has a serious impact on both lives individually.

I might give the mouth guard a try after the pillow, on the anti-histamines tonight.

Godeatsboogers wrote: »

Do you sleep on your back? I've heard this is one of the most common causes of snoring. Basketball or a football in a school bag on your back in bed. How do you know shes being punching you? Has she been leaving a mark with these punches?

I sleep any way I can. I've been woken for snoring while sleeping on back and on side. I've no trouble sleeping on my side, and if that worked, i'd maybe use your don't sleep on back inhibitors, but sleeping on my side is not the solution for me.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 1:24am

santana75 wrote: »

I've got a solution for you although you may not like it: Sleep on the floor. It cures snoring and will do wonders for your back and posture. Plus the quality of sleep you'll get on the floor is in a different league to that which you get from sleeping on mattress.

I'll put this on the back burner for now. I don't think i'd have any issue with sleeping on floor, but the O/H might.

LegacyUser · 16-10-2020 1:31am

lucalux wrote: »

Some people have success with taping the mouth with a tiny patch of medical tape, stops the mouth opening when asleep and as a result, the snoring for some.

If she is hitting you the snoring isn't the problem though

I think that's the same theory as the what Anti Snoring Chin Strap that Xterminator posted a link to would provide. The medical tape is a cheaper way of testing the theory, and if it works, then maybe the strap would be the long term way to execute it.

Faith · 16-10-2020 9:03am

If you breathe through your mouth at night, this can lead to snoring. Ideally, your mouth should be closed, but there can be a variety of reasons you may breathe through your mouth, from congestion to a deviated septum. It's worth speaking to a GP about it alright, just to get the medical side checked out. The nose strips (we've used the Breathe Right brand in my house) have been really useful for us. You can get them easily enough (even on Amazon, if needs be) and they're not expensive or invasive.

Deep Thought · 16-10-2020 9:09am

How do you feel in general?

Do you feel refreshed after sleep or do you still feel tired?

I snore and even though I slept, I was always tired, went to GP and thought he would just do bloods and I would be low in iron or something. Instead he sent me to a respiratory guy and I found out I had sleep apnea.

I have a cpap machine , no snoring, great sleep and no more tiredness.

I am overweight... lost a few kilos , need to loose 5 more, and then can be re-evaluated

It’s just a thought..

Thelonious Monk · 16-10-2020 10:50am

Has she ever hit you in other circumstances? My first step would be to sleep in a different room.

cj maxx · 16-10-2020 12:02pm

I slept with a snorer. Often it was just a matter of turning from sleeping on her back to on her side.
Try on your side or belly

Tork · 16-10-2020 12:52pm

Tyrian Rodrigiouz wrote: »

If I can stop the snoring, then she will have no reason to overreact. It is in my power to find a solution.

But you think she hits you in your sleep. Does she hit you at other times?

ibarelycare · 16-10-2020 3:13pm

OP why are you ignoring/downplaying the massive issue that you're sure your gf punches you in the head while you sleep??? That is extremely concerning.

Mystery Egg · 16-10-2020 4:07pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

OP why are you ignoring/downplaying the massive issue that you're sure your gf punches you in the head while you sleep??? That is extremely concerning.

Loads of posters are downplaying it too, I just don't get this.

Thelonious Monk · 16-10-2020 6:29pm

Imagine a bloke was punching his gf in the head for snoring. Contact women’s aid. Is there a family member you can stay with?

cannotlogin · 16-10-2020 6:39pm

I'm sorry OP if I'm too blunt here but you're really concerned with addressing the wrong issue.

Your girlfriend hits you on the head and you are certain this happens. It is assault and also extremely dangerous. I don't mean to be alarmist but if she lashes out and strikes you in certain places, especially your temple, that will do serious damage.

I've had partners in the past that snores so badly that it really annoyed me, sleep deprivation is not funny but there's no way in hell I considered hitting them.

I won't give any suggestions about the snoring as that is a minor problem, her assaulting you is a major problem. There's no justification in the world for it & you can dress it up whatever way you want but it's assault, plain & simple and you shouldn't be with someone who treats you that way.

Tork · 16-10-2020 6:55pm

Hitting somebody on the head when they're defenceless and asleep is a particularly scummy thing to do. Worse still, she's lying about it. I bet this sort of behaviour isn't confined to nighttime either.

Jequ0n · 16-10-2020 7:57pm

Whats the point in banging on about something the OP does not want to address? It’s up to him what he wants to do about it, if at all.

It’s been said and the OP has ignored it, which is his right to do.

cannotlogin · 16-10-2020 10:19pm

Jequ0n wrote: »

Whats the point in banging on about something the OP does not want to address? It’s up to him what he wants to do about it, if at all.

It’s been said and the OP has ignored it, which is his right to do.

For numerous reasons:-

1. It's a serious matter
2. Nobody deserves that treatment
3. People in abusive relationships have been putting up with abuse for so long it becomes normal to them & by highlighting it, you hope it helps the OP
4. Ignoring it, normalised it
5. Because you hope people would do the same for you in similar circumstances

Jequ0n · 16-10-2020 11:02pm

cannotlogin wrote: »

For numerous reasons:-

1. It's a serious matter
2. Nobody deserves that treatment
3. People in abusive relationships have been putting up with abuse for so long it becomes normal to them & by highlighting it, you hope it helps the OP
4. Ignoring it, normalised it
5. Because you hope people would do the same for you in similar circumstances

I agree with all of the above bar the last point. However, repeating the same mantra and expecting the OP to respond/ take it on board might also make them withdraw because they are not ready to have this discussion yet.

Redderthanever · 17-10-2020 12:38am

Hi there, a sore head can be an indication of sleep apnea, a serious sleep disorder that is characterised by

Excessive daytime sleepiness
Loud snoring
Observed episodes of stopped breathing during sleep
Abrupt awakenings accompanied by gasping or choking
Awakening with a dry mouth or sore throat
Headaches
Difficulty concentrating during the day

That's not to say your girlfriend isn't punching you in your sleep, but I'd really like to hope that she isn't doing that.

salamiii · 17-10-2020 1:05am

wear a motorcycle helmet so she can't punch
you in the head

think outside the box

pwurple · 17-10-2020 6:23am

Tyrian Rodrigiouz wrote: »

I think that's the same theory as the what Anti Snoring Chin Strap that Xterminator posted a link to would provide. The medical tape is a cheaper way of testing the theory, and if it works, then maybe the strap would be the long term way to execute it.

Please skip this one, it is dangerous, with risk of brain damage or death. Taping or strapping your mouth closed is a good way to suffocate yourself if you have an intermittent nasal issue. It's the reason gagging is no an longer acceptable method of restraint for police... Deaths have been recorded.

And I agree, anyone hitting you without your consent in bed is abuse. I'm awake beside a snorer here, have never in my life hit him for it.

Try cutting the drink out if you drink alcohol. My fellow only snores after a couple of glasses of whiskey.

Wanderer78 · 17-10-2020 6:26am

pwurple wrote:

Please skip this one, it is dangerous, with risk of brain damage or death. Taping your mouth closed is a good way to suffocate yourself if you have an intermittent nasal issue. It's the reason gagging is no an longer acceptable method of restraint for police... Deaths have been recorded.

Please tell me a human didnâ€™t advise another human to tape their mouth during sleep?

Hannibal_Smith · 17-10-2020 8:32am

Jequ0n wrote: »

I agree with all of the above bar the last point. However, repeating the same mantra and expecting the OP to respond/ take it on board might also make them withdraw because they are not ready to have this discussion yet.

Mod Note

On the other hand Jequ0n, it may flick a switch with the OP and be the wake up call he needs. Either way, posters are welcome to post their advice as long as it's constructive and civil and it is up to the OP what to do after that. So less of the telling others how to post.

Thanks

HS

Jequ0n · 17-10-2020 11:13am

Sorry, that hadnt been my intention

Iderown · 17-10-2020 11:20am

I'm a snorer. Happens when I sleep lying on my back. (I suspect that I have nose/throat pipes that are a bit narrower than is normal - but, no problems during day.)

Solution was to make an elastic strap which has a soft ball (tennis ball size) fixed to it. Before sleep the ball is positioned in middle of my back. The slight pressure of the ball seems to be enough to cause me to roll on to my side - snoring stops.
It has since been modified to include shoulder straps to prevent the arrangement from moving. I seem to move about quite a bit during sleep.

lucalux · 17-10-2020 1:09pm

Just to clarify, mouth taping doesn't tape the mouth shut completely.

It uses tape to keep the lips together, one bit in the middle, or two bits at the outside, its not completely closing off the mouth, its to encourage the mouth from falling wide open which can increase mouth breathing when asleep.

I think if you have an septum issues you'd cop it pretty quick, I don't use it myself as I have septum issues. I know that it wouldn't suit me.

I know a good few people who do it and sleep really well since they started. Was just a suggestion to look into it is all.

toodelies · 17-10-2020 1:26pm

My OH never really snored unless he was extremely tired or had a few too many drinks. Over the last 9 months he has put on a good bit of weight and now he snores every night. The difference it has made is unbelievable so weight is def a contributor. He has also recently been waking with terrible headaches. I do not punch him in the head so it’s not me :-)

I would also suggest talking to your GP. As other have suggested it may be a sign of sleep apnea which you should get treated.

LegacyUser · 18-10-2020 3:10am

Anti-histamines seem to be working well.

I'm very happy with that so far.

Anti-snore pillow has been dispatched, but I will keep taking anti-histamines before bedtime, it seems to be making a big difference.

Mystery Egg · 18-10-2020 9:27am

I'm going to repeat this.

If your girlfriend is punching you in the head you need to get out of that relationship immediately.

kylith · 20-10-2020 4:05pm

Look, OP, at least find out for sure. Borrow or buy a trail cam with night vision and set it up without telling her; you'll be able to see if she actually is assaulting you, or maybe hear if you're showing signs of apnea or another sleep disorder.

My OH can be a wicked snorer but though I have often thought of smothering him with a pillow I would never do anything worse than wake him up, which he thinks is bad enough. If it was bad enough then we'd just have to sleep in separate rooms.

My snoring has become an issue.

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