Men with a fetish for taken women.

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Is that what cuckolding is?

It's weird and if I knew men that were into that then my first thoughts would be that he's insecure or looking for a bored married woman he can get with easily.

Cuckolding is generally done with the consent and knowledge of the people involved. I think what the OP is describing is infidelity and cheating and is somewhat predatory.

In the modern sense of the word (I think the definition has changed over time) cuckolding is the practice of getting arousal from observing your own partner - or knowledge of your partner - with other people. It is in fact something I have been tempted to explore myself on occasion bordering on "not if but when".

The guy in the OP is getting aroused from the opposite end of that - being with someone else's partner without (I assume) their knowledge.

It could be an insecurity thing - as others have pointed out it gives a person an excuse for not pulling as he can blame it on their relationship rather than their disinterest in him.

It could also be a vicarious arousal thing. We men tend to get aroused by the fact of a woman getting aroused. So signs they are being mightily turned on are arousing to us. That a woman might be so turned on and into sex that they would break their relationship or marital vows to give in to it - might be a vicarious turn on for this guy too as it signals to him in his mind how "into it" she must be.

OSI wrote: »

What you describe is more akin to hot wifing. Cuckolding is generally done with the intent of humiliating the husband, ie implying the wife needs another man to attain pleasure.

Yeah that is why I said the definition appears to have changed over time. It seems to include what you describe often - but is not a necessary part of the definition.

In fact the part I included - the knowledge and arousal of the cuckolded man - is not even a requirement for some definitions. Take this one:

"A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own."

Nothing to do with knowledge, arousal, or even humiliation there. The guy can in fact be 100% oblivious to the whole thing.

OSI wrote: »

Why you'd get your rocks off knowing your wife was sleeping with another bloke with the intent of making you feel inadequate and **** in bed I haven't a clue, but each to their own.

Well I guess I can speak to that a bit since I am thinking of doing it with my girlfriends. Let me start with a little analogy.

The Peacocks feathers are a hindrance. They are huge and slow them down and therefore make them more prone to predators. However that fact means they are using their big tails to show the female they are in fact healthy and dominant and genetically fit and so on. Basically the male tail is indicating "Look I am so great I am able to take the fitness hit of this ridiculous appendage and still be better than all my peers".

For some people - and I say some because other people have other motivations - cuckolding is a bit like that. You get arousal from the humiliation and the playing inadequate - because you can. It is very much _because_ you are not inadequate and not inferior and actually feel very secure in yourself and your relationship that you can go into that situation. It is precisely having the power that makes one feel enjoyment from temporarily giving it away. Almost like the peacock tail saying "I am so superior to you I can in fact make myself inferior to you just for kicks".

That is probably the healthy end of cuckolding though. For some other people they likely do feel in adequate and they fall into cuckolding as an expression of that or are cajoled into it rather unwillingly because of it. Especially the humiliation part of it. Maybe letting their partner screw around thinking it is the only way they can keep that partner - that he or she might leave them if they do not do it - so they have to consent.

So in short I would not judge cuckolding positively or negatively as a whole. Rather it depends on the reasons and motivations of those going into it. I know mine if we do it - and I have no fear they are unhealthy or suspect.

Fairly common I think, even Benjamin Franklin advised a younger friend to seek out married women as they were less likely to talk about the affair and had more to lose. I have a friend who is constantly being propositioned by married women, so it goes both ways.