Selfish Or Insensitive?

BEAT · 23-09-2003 4:07am #1

If someone said to you....
You are NEVER there when I need you even for the small stuff, (and it was true)...and then said to bug off I dont want to hear from you again.

How would you feel?

Say coming from a very close friend, or what was supposed to be a close friend.

Or even your Girlfriend.

Mossy Monk · 23-09-2003 4:24am

Originally posted by BEAT
How would you feel?

good riddance

hedgetrimmer · 23-09-2003 8:31am

Depends entirely on the circumstance. People react and say things in anger and pain. PErhaps you weren't there, perhaps this friend needed somethnig different, but there is no general repsonse that can be applied here without knowing the background and circumstances of the situation

echomadman · 23-09-2003 11:43am

Can't I be both?

Sposs · 23-09-2003 12:13pm

I'd Feel Like.......................................... Batman

batman.jog.jpg

The Beer Baron · 23-09-2003 3:12pm

My response would more than likely be- well yeah?!

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm both selfish and insensitive as well as egotistical, petty, angry, highly strung, impatient, have the attention-span of a goldfish.

So there's no point in stating the obvious now is there?

skittishkitten · 23-09-2003 5:32pm

I agree with hedgetrimmer , sometimes people say things in anger or hurt that they really don't mean . Sometimes it is a way to get your attention or call attention to the fact that they need you. Other times they feel the need to "vent" their anger or hurt and you just happen to be the one they are venting about and to ( which totally sucks , but it happens ) .

I'd back off for a bit , give them time to calm down and see if that is still the way they feel a few days later .

BEAT · 24-09-2003 12:46am

It's actually something I thought of saying to someone the other day, and I wasnt sure if it was wrong or not, it just felt right at the moment to say it.
He is trying to remain friends with me after I told him I didnt want to be his GF anylonger...so now you see.

skittishkitten · 24-09-2003 1:59am

If you still feel as strongly as you did then and you know deep in your heart it's true , then it's neither selfish or insensitive , merely honest .

tman · 24-09-2003 3:13am

Originally posted by BEAT
He is trying to remain friends with me after I told him I didnt want to be his GF anylonger...so now you see.

huh, i always thought you were a guy...

it all depends on how i felt about the person that said it, either good riddance, or heartbreaking.

Kambika · 24-09-2003 7:24am

Sorry... I dont really understand the sense of this post...

passive · 24-09-2003 11:27pm

i'd probably be like "huh? what are you talking about? i'm really sensitive and go out of my way to help others....unless you're a horrible person...in which case you suck, why are you talking to me like i care if you think i'm selfish!!??? go die!!..."

but....i also don't understand the sense of this post

25-09-2003 12:52am

I'd ask : "What the fúck are you shíting on about? Can you not solve your own problems? Are you that fúcking incapable???"

Seriously, this is the type of person who marries because they're afraid of dying alone. But then again if emotional dependancy and instability is your thing, then go for it!

AL][EN · 25-09-2003 1:01am

well if my GF said it to me....... wait hang on id need a girlfriend first.....well we'll pretend then that my pretend GF said this to me

to be honest id be a little upset obviously i hurt my girlfriends feelings somehow id at least like to talk to her about it find out what it is that ive said/done and try to make amneds id like a chance at least to say sorry

but both headgetrimmer and skittish make a really good point tho it depends on the circustmances (sorry spellin sux i know) give it a few days see how you feel then

Victor · 25-09-2003 9:47pm

MAybe say that you aren't a mind reader and that you were busy and didn't appreciate how urgent their needs were.

monument · 25-09-2003 10:39pm

Originally posted by BEAT
He is trying to remain friends with me after I told him I didnt want to be his GF anylonger...so now you see.

As skittishkitten said it is not really selfish or insensitive. The other person might see it that way, however in the long term it's better for that person to get over it quickly and not just to be hanging on (if that’s the way you think it is?). Just be honest and at the same time be kind about it, but be firm.

The other end of the story could have been that he was continuing do what he always does with out knowing there was something wrong?

xx · 26-09-2003 12:43am

Originally posted by BEAT
If someone said to you....
You are NEVER there when I need you even for the small stuff, (and it was true)...and then said to bug off I dont want to hear from you again.

How would you feel?

Say coming from a very close friend, or what was supposed to be a close friend.

Or even your Girlfriend.

Have you seen the movie 'Intermission' in the cinema yet? If not, see it!!! What Colin Farrell does to the girl in the first 2 minutes is what I'd probably do.
Failing that, tell them to stop being so dependent and leeching on you and then tell them to fcuk off.

K2 · 26-09-2003 11:23am

Why not make it easy on yourself and just use the old reliable "its not you, its me!". If he is that selfish dump him and find somebody more suited to you. Enjoy the freedom of dating, your ex will have to learn the hard way (as most of us guys do) that you have to work at a relationship.

monument · 26-09-2003 2:21pm

Originally posted by K2
Why not make it easy on yourself and just use the old reliable "its not you, its me!".

Don't, it's stupit and evil.

K2 · 26-09-2003 3:33pm

do you think its stupit and evil cos you are letting him continue to be selfish or because you think its a cop out? Or have you thought about it at all?:D

monument · 26-09-2003 6:32pm

Because saying “its not you, it is me!" is an immature unintelligent thing to say.

But then again I did nearly laugh in someone’s face when it was said to me

BEAT · 26-09-2003 10:58pm

I decided not to lash out at him and told him instead that I am going to see other people, in the meantime if he wants to get his act together he should do that and call me when its done. He has issues that he has to deal with first in order to be able to be with me, he put them off time and again.
Without going into detail, he is rather selfish and uncaring...and while I do not need someone to fall at my feet, a call everynow and then when he wasnt going to show up would have been nice, but he never did and left me waiting for him on several occasions, several! atleast once a week. everytime I tell him to get lost he begs me to stay, so I finally told him I had enough and he can continue to hang around if he wants but it wont make him too happy when he stops by and someone else is here, which is exactly what he doesnt want, but its too late for me to care about what he wants anymore.

This has suddenly turned into a thread for PI, geesh

so thanks for all the replies I decided that I just dont care enough anymore to even waste my time in hurting his feelings with comments that will get no one anywhere.

Selfish Or Insensitive?

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