What do you talk to OH about?

completedit · 06-09-2019 7:50pm #1

What are good topics to talk about.

Sonny noggs · 06-09-2019 7:51pm

The weather?

ardinn · 06-09-2019 7:56pm

Life

If your interested in learning how to communicate with her / more, id suggest listening to Jordan peterson.

I couldnt point out any specific talk or particular podcast or series, but I wouldnt worry about that, listen to him anyway.

I can recall several conversations with him regarding spousal interactions and how important it is. Getting the small details in life correct. Like how you greet each other at the door, how you interact over the breakfast table, the small mundane things that if you get wrong occupy a huge portion of your time together. He likes to do maths on these subjects, if you spend 40 mins a day at breakfast and an hr at dinner - that's 2500 hrs a year. If they dont go well things can quickly sprial into hatred and resentment. Getting these small interactions correct is hugely important.

eviltwin · 06-09-2019 8:04pm

Anything and everything. Politics, pop culture, sport, work as well as the boring stuff like the house and kids.

We always have at least one day a week where we can go out on our own for a walk where we chat about how we are, no housekeeping talk, no talk about the kids, it's purely about us. It helps us stay connected in a way we can't always be in a busy home.

Jesus Wept · 06-09-2019 8:22pm

ardinn wrote: »

Life

If your interested in learning how to communicate with her / more, id suggest listening to Jordan peterson.

I couldnt point out any specific talk or particular podcast or series, but I wouldnt worry about that, listen to him anyway.

I can recall several conversations with him regarding spousal interactions and how important it is. Getting the small details in life correct. Like how you greet each other at the door, how you interact over the breakfast table, the small mundane things that if you get wrong occupy a huge portion of your time together. He likes to do maths on these subjects, if you spend 40 mins a day at breakfast and an hr at dinner - that's 2500 hrs a year. If they dont go well things can quickly sprial into hatred and resentment. Getting these small interactions correct is hugely important.

Love Jp. Math a little off as presented!

Check out Gottman also.

https://www.gottman.com/

ardinn · 06-09-2019 8:25pm

Jesus Wept wrote: »

Love Jp. Math a little off as presented!

Check out Gottman also.

https://www.gottman.com/

600 hrs - my fone calculated wrong

Lex Luthor · 08-09-2019 6:20pm

Neighbours &#55357;&#56836;&#55357;&#56835;&#55357;&#56835;&#55357;&#56835;

H3llR4iser · 11-09-2019 2:19pm

It's probably going to be an unpopular idea anyway but...I fear that if you need to ask or search for things to "talk about" with your partner...well, maybe the two of you aren't that suitable for each other (waiting for the "we've been married 15 years!" reply...).

Forgive the bluntness, but I've always maintained that a relationship isn't something that "must" happen by default because it's "what people do"; It has to be something that ADDS to your life, that allows you to do things you wouldn't be able to do before, that affords you a certain level of serenity and security (not too much, a bit of pressure is always great to spice things up).

If an effort needs to be made to the point where it's difficult to find "what to talk about", at least one of the two people are not "bringing the goods" to the table, so to speak - or simply, there isn't much you have in common. And a relationship with no common ground - or one where one of the two parties continuously needs to accommodate the other - is not really working.

I could tell you "learn something about what she/he likes and talk about that", but it would be very silly advice - you'd be just continuously doing something you have zero interest about. On the long run, it'll wear you out.

Mundo7976 · 11-09-2019 2:21pm

Whatever comes up between us

...Ghost... · 13-09-2019 3:41pm

H3llR4iser wrote: »

It's probably going to be an unpopular idea anyway but...I fear that if you need to ask or search for things to "talk about" with your partner...well, maybe the two of you aren't that suitable for each other (waiting for the "we've been married 15 years!" reply...).

Forgive the bluntness, but I've always maintained that a relationship isn't something that "must" happen by default because it's "what people do"; It has to be something that ADDS to your life, that allows you to do things you wouldn't be able to do before, that affords you a certain level of serenity and security (not too much, a bit of pressure is always great to spice things up).

If an effort needs to be made to the point where it's difficult to find "what to talk about", at least one of the two people are not "bringing the goods" to the table, so to speak - or simply, there isn't much you have in common. And a relationship with no common ground - or one where one of the two parties continuously needs to accommodate the other - is not really working.

I could tell you "learn something about what she/he likes and talk about that", but it would be very silly advice - you'd be just continuously doing something you have zero interest about. On the long run, it'll wear you out.

Relationships are as different as the qualities of the individuals within them. While I would generally agree with what you say on a foundation level, I would point out that not everyone wants, or needs the same things from a relationship. Some couples get on very well with minimal communication. It doesn't mean they love eachother any less than the couple who never shut up.

A home example would be my own relationship. There are times when I just enjoy the silence with the OH. We could go on a long walk and barely say a word to eachother. Our interests are also very different....a proper venus and mars story which makes for some interesting.....erm....debates

Then I look to a friend from my past who had what I always considered to be be an unhealthy amount of communication with his wife. They would talk and talk and talk and if they were not together, they would talk on the phone if at all possible. Now they communicate through solicitors.

Communication is important, but you don't always have to have something to talk about. I thought maybe a different perspective might let the OP know that his relationship isn't doomed if he isn't a yappy chappy with his OH.

BDI · 13-09-2019 3:45pm

How great I am, my best features, what I plan on doing with the day, how my enemies are all inferior, how fast I could run a marathon if I wanted to get fit and run one, what weight classes I could win the belts in mma or boxing if I had time to train in them.
How many shots I’d beat Tiger Woods by if he played against me in pitch and putt in deer park, that’s always a good one that can change depending on the weather.

Basically that sort of stuff.

farmchoice · 18-09-2019 12:21pm

brexit brexit and more brexit. she had little or no interest in it whilst i am obsessed. now though she is getting into it and every now and again she will roar ''ORDER'' and ill roar back ''CLEAR THE LOBBIES''

also we like to bitch about people together, particularly her sister. since the bould sister had kids we can now bitch about them as well.

Feisar · 27-09-2019 10:38am

What we'll have for dinner, how the wee man is getting on (tummy time etc). She talks about her job, I don't really talk/think about work when I'm at home. How my shooting is going. What her/my friends are up to, what we'll do that the weekend, funny sh!t on telly. Stuff in general.

Edit - she once asked me about my knife collection. Bored her for about an hour!

H3llR4iser · 27-09-2019 11:31am

Feisar wrote: »

What we'll have for dinner, how the wee man is getting on (tummy time etc). She talks about her job, I don't really talk/think about work when I'm at home. How my shooting is going. What her/my friends are up to, what we'll do that the weekend, funny sh!t on telly. Stuff in general.

Edit - she once asked me about my knife collection. Bored her for about an hour!

You may want to start sleeping in a different room...and lock the door

completedit · 27-09-2019 11:57am

It’s just complicated because I’m not that much of a talker, well I am, but ideas come to my head after the moment has passed.

What do you talk to OH about?

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