Engagement

mikeoc85 · 28-11-2018 1:14pm #1

Hi,

I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 4 years. We’re both 29. Basically, I want to marry the girl and I know she feels the same way about me.

What I’m wondering, as I’m a complete novice in this department, is how much should I spend on an engagement ring? I know there’s no set amount but what’s a good amount.

I’m earning roughly €45k a year. I’m trying to save as much as possible for a house and also have money so we can do things like go out and go on holidays but I also want to get her a ring she’ll love.

I don’t want her to know what I’m spending on the ring so I’d like to get it beforehand.

So basically what is a good amount and also where can I get the best value for money, in Ireland or Europe? In understand there’s a lot more to it but does anyone know where can I get the best value diamond?

Thanks in advance for any advice. It’s very much appreciated.

LirW · 28-11-2018 5:23pm

The simple answer is: spend as much as you're comfortable with, there's no rule for it anymore.

Get a cheap token ring and propose with a token ring and go pick the ring she wants afterwards. She's going to wear it for a long time and she might want something entirely different than you'd think. Gives you an opportunity to set a budget together, she might not be comfortable spending X on a ring.

aj89 · 28-11-2018 5:32pm

As LirW says, go the token route.

I got a token ring for my now wife for a few hundred. I got the smallest size in the jewelers and that was still far too big. We then both went to the jewelers, they told her to go away for a min while I told them my price range. They then brought out a good few so she had plenty of choice to pick what she would like.

reap-a-rat · 28-11-2018 10:07pm

My OH measured a ring I wear on my right ring finger and bought a token ring - it's sapphire and I love it. He said we could get a diamond but he knew I'd have killed him if he just went and bought one straight out. I think the ring he got is beautiful though and I'd prefer to put the "diamond" money towards the wedding. But you'll know your girlfriend the best so if you think she'd like a diamond straight off then maybe try some sneaky measurements of other rings and you can always get it resized if it's not perfect.

Just know that diamonds aren't every girl's best friend and saving for a house and holidays in my mind is a way better use of money!

28-11-2018 10:10pm

A token ring or one that means something to you. Could you ask your mother or grandmother for a ring to propose with? My son used an old dress ring of mine and his fiancée treasures it.

They bought their own one later.

cooperguy · 29-11-2018 1:03am

As someone who is out the other side of the whole thing in the last few months my best bit of advice is dont get carried away! You will value that house you are saving for an awful lot more than the ring in another few years! She will like whatever you buy together no matter what the price as it will have sentimental value (unless you are very very confident in what she wants dont go down the road of buying on your own!).
There are also some good online options such as James Allen.com where you can buy a diamond and get it set in a ring here.

mikeoc85 · 29-11-2018 7:20am

Thanks a million for all the response.

That’s where I’m caught, I have savings, but like you all said, I’d prefer it to go on a house than a ring. I just don’t want to disappoint with the ring, or it’s budget. Like is €3,000 enough for something nice or would you need to go for something more €5,000+.

Also is the best value found here in Ireland, Antwerp, or maybe somewhere like Turkey?

hanaimai · 29-11-2018 1:34pm

mikeoc85 wrote: »

Thanks a million for all the response.

That’s where I’m caught, I have savings, but like you all said, I’d prefer it to go on a house than a ring. I just don’t want to disappoint with the ring, or it’s budget. Like is €3,000 enough for something nice or would you need to go for something more €5,000+.

Also is the best value found here in Ireland, Antwerp, or maybe somewhere like Turkey?

You can definitely get a nice ring for the 3k mark, and under! Our budget was around 2k and I saw plenty of rings I liked in that range.

Of course, everyone has a different definition of nice... but I absolutely don't think you need to spend more than 5k to get a good selection, unless that's what you want to spend.

witchgirl26 · 04-12-2018 1:15pm

OP I'd also echo the token ring. My OH did that for me and I love my token ring so much. Now he didn't buy some really cheap piece from Penneys but a nice ring from H Samuel that he knew would be nice. We went shopping for the actual ring together - you can do that without her knowing your budget fairly easily.

I did end up knowing what my actual ring cost because it was an antique shop and we had to get a valuation of it done ourselves afterwards and I've seen the report.

My ring was not mad expensive & defo between the €3k & €5k point. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a very expensive ring on me all the time to be honest! But it's exactly what I wanted and I'm glad I was involved in picking it and we had that experience together.

Silas · 05-12-2018 12:54pm

I proposed to my fiance with her grandmothers engagement ring which was bequeathed to her. I would always suggest going with a token ring and then letting her pick her perfect ring after the proposal

Shelli2 · 07-12-2018 11:52pm

Newly engaged since just last Wednesday!

He proposed with a beautiful charm for my bracelet which was inscribed 'Marry Me' and has a tiny diamond.

He already had an appointment booked with a jeweller for Thursday, we are having my ring made.

I don't know exactly what it's costing but I doubt it's over 1k.
I'm not one for bling though so would only agree to a single small stone.

The point is, it's exactly what I want and he knew me well enough to let me pick my own.

pooch90 · 08-12-2018 2:15pm

OH proposed with a token ring. We knew we were getting engaged and had booked appt but the proposal itself was a surprise.
My engagement ring cost 2.5K. It's a marquise cut so the diamond looks bigger than it actually is. We went to Volatire and found a setting I loved and then swapped out the round diamond for this one. I still think it's stunning and unusual almost 7 years later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_iAY0XE0Bs

clint_silver · 08-12-2018 5:00pm

I went to the jeweller that was going to get the main ring and explained I wanted a token ring, he gave me a ring for 30e. which seems low but we're like 99% of people, wouldnt know the difference.

We were same place as you when we got engaged, saving for a house, same kind of salary, mrs silver wasnt comfortable spending thousands so after we got engaged we went straight to jeweller that day and she picked the one she wanted, I think Id allocated maybe 1.5k in my head but she picked one for far less, was a few hundred (cant remember now) .

everyone happy. As above, no rules anymore.

edit: because Id flagged it with the jeweller we were coming in, he had a glass of champagne ready for us and took us in back room to let her pick, made it all special

c6ysaphjvqw41k · 11-12-2018 1:31pm

I'd have a look on the likes of Blue Nile and James Allen. I have 4 rings all from Blue Nile, and I haven't seen anything remotely similar in traditional jewelers for anywhere near the price we paid. We got my engagement ring there, my wedding band and he got me a second one as a gift on the day so I could stack them. We recently went back for an anniversary band. Their EU base is in Dublin.
For a similar cut, colour, clarity and carat size in shops I've seen between 2.5-3k. We didn't pay anywhere near that. They came with a GIA certificate for the diamonds and I'm very happy with them. They have free returns if you aren't happy.

....... · 11-12-2018 1:39pm

My now husband talked to his Granny before proposing to me and she told him to let me pick my own ring. A real lady that woman was!

So he proposed with no ring at all and the following week the two of us went off to buy a ring. It was pre recession and we were minted, no financial commitments and great salaries (ah the days of giveaway budgets and fianna fail bankrupting the country - they were great

), so he made the big gesture and spent over 5k on the ring.

More than 10 years later I still look at that ring and wish that he hadnt spent so much on it. I hardly ever wear it, a ring worth a couple of hundred quid would have been just as good.

Obviously Id never sell it now but it mostly gathers dust and costs money on the house insurance. If I could go back and do it again id get a far less expensive ring and put the money towards a house

Wbd1989 · 11-12-2018 2:04pm

Recently proposed myself with a token ring and had a day planned out for us to go to various different jewellers for her to have a look and decide. From my experience the best value I found (didn't look at online options) was bespoke diamonds. Didn't end up going with them in the end as a local jeweller back home conveniently was able to make the exact same ring for the same price (before this they wouldn't budge on price but after I showed the cost from elsewhere they magically were able to match it) which just showed there is plenty of wiggle room if you are willing to shop around.

mikeoc85 · 15-12-2018 11:43am

Thanks a million for the response, really, it’s been very helpful so thank you all.

Although I had it in my head I was going to buy the ring I now realise from all of you, who have a lot more knowledge on this, that it would be better to get a token ring.

So to the next part. Do I book a weekend away somewhere in Europe for the ring shopping where we would get more value for money or is there just as good value to be found in Dublin.

Also where is a good place online to do some research when it comes to rings and diamonds, just so when we’re actually picking the ring we have some idea.

witchgirl26 · 15-12-2018 2:44pm

We stayed in Dublin to look for the ring. To be honest the most research we did was to read up on the 4 C's and understand them. When we went into a few places they said they can alter the diamond size in the ring to suit budget (i.e. pick a style and the size of diamond will depend on budget). The most important thing is probably to have a budget in mind. Everywhere they went, that was the first question they asked as they don't want to show you something that you'll both fall in love with but is way outside the realm of possibility.

Try on loads of different shapes and cuts would be my advice as the cut I thought would look amazing on me ended up making my fingers look fat and stumpy. Beautiful cut but just not on me. I went for something that was never in my head as an idea.

Don't give yourself a deadline of "we must find it this weekend" either. That's why we didn't go away. It's a lot of pressure on to find the right one then. We took 4 months to find the right ring and I'm glad we took the time.

Engagement

Comments