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Night of killer coffin

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  • 12-02-2009 1:28pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭


    Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub.
    It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most
    of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
    broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a
    dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ...


    BUMP........


    BUMP........



    BUMP........


    Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain
    he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.

    BUMP........


    BUMP........



    BUMP........



    He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box
    approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more
    clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put
    his head down and started walking briskly home.


    BUMP........


    BUMP........



    BUMP........


    The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster.........


    BUMP.... BUMP.......


    BUMP........BUMP.......


    BUMP........BUMP........


    The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he
    heard the coffin speed up after him ...


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...


    He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....


    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....


    Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was
    only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his
    keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside,
    slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and
    slumped into his comfy chair.


    Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through
    the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin
    allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued
    its chase ..


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could
    take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ..


    BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...


    The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
    launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the
    bathroom door flew off its hinges ...


    The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young
    terrified lad.


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...

    In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom
    cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at
    the coffin ... still it came ........


    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


    He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it
    came......

    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...

    He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came......

    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...

    He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ...

    The coffin stopped.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    oh god, that is equally bad & good :pac::pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    Greatest joke ever told.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,263 ✭✭✭Homer


    I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a relative's grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

    I thought to myself, these feckers have lost the plot!!


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