Went looking for a massage in town.... people are so judgmental!!

Note: I posted this yesterday but, it escalated into some nasty bickering as to whether I was attempting to avail of sexual services - WHICH I WAS NOT - so I hope we can keep this one pleasant.


It's like this.

I've taken a break from working out over the past while, but over the last week or so, have been getting back into it.

Well, it was a bit of a shock to the body.
Some serious aches and pains - deadlifting, squats and clean and jerks - I was basically aching all over, to the point where I was in pain climbing the stairs.

So - when I was working out regularly before, I used to go for a massage every week.
But that was abroad - not in Ireland.

So, the natural thing to do would be to find a massage parlor and get a good deep tissue massage.

Well, I'm based in a relatively small town in the west, so we mainly have spa massages in hotels which, from what I understand, do not really offer what I would be looking for, and they cost a God Damn arm and a leg.


So, I browsed online.
Saw a place that does "Reiki" massage.
Checked it out. Not suitable; I ask them anyplace that might be...
They direct me to a couple of beauty Salons near by.

Well.....


I go up the stairs and in the door to this "beauty salon".
Had never been to a beauty salon before.
No need I guess.
So I'd absolutely no preconceived ideas of how I might be met, or how they might regard a male, on the premise.

I push the door open.
Nice looking joint. Display cabinets, bright, clean, modern.

I see the receptionist. Fairly young gal. Irish. Late 20's early 30's I would say.
She glances at me, and suddenly this look crosses her face as if she's just been engulfed in an unpleasant odor.

She quickly returns her attention to the computer screen behind the reception desk, like she's trying to ignore the fact that - holy cow - there's a man on the property!

I have to catch her attention again by saying, "hello, good afternoon", at which stage she looks at me like I've just rudely interrupted her.

I make the mistake of jumping right to the point, instead of clarifying that I'm only here as a desperate last resort, and am in genuine physical discomfort.

"Do you offer a massage in here?".

Again, she fixes me with this fleeting stare, whilst her upper lip flickers in what appears to be disgust.

"Oh, we do massage, but not for men", she curtly responds, and again returns her attention to her computer monitor, like she's absorbed in coding a new ground breaking computer application for Microsoft.


Two ladies are sat to my right, one getting nails done, the other doing.
As soon as they've overheard my question, they seem to stiffen as if a bolt of electricity has just shot through them, and they both slowly turn to face me, with what appears to be apprehension, mixed with morbid curiosity - like they're bearing witness to a real life pervert, potential sex offender material.

Now I know what you're thinking.

"You're reading too much into this pal. They probably barely noticed you etc etc".

Whether you choose to believe or no, there was this unmistakable air of revolt that permeated the place.

Being met with this curt response, which was followed by a deliberate indifference which basically said, "please get the f%ck off the property immediately", I was kind of, well, I guess, momentarily abashed.

I asked if she could recommend a place that may offer this service.
She mentioned the name of a spa I had researched, which cost more than a full course meal with a bottle of wine, for a half hour massage.

I sheepishly made my way to the door, I suppose you could say, completely taken aback, at how judgmental these supposedly innocent everyday places could be.
In my mind, the "beauty salon", now represents a den of feminism, where men are abhorred, and are looked on as reprehensible sexual predators.


Anyways - to conclude this lengthy narrative, I did eventually find somewhere to cater to my requirement.

Out of painful desperation, I went into a foreign owned tanning salon to inquire.
The gay owner gave me the contact details of a lady friend of his who worked from home, who specialized in deep tissue massages, for a reasonable price.

Made an appointment, had a great session, all above board.
No funny business, nothing to be afraid of.

Sheesh!

PS - the masseuse was Hungarian - not Irish - go figure...