Monday Wedding

Magicmatilda · 26-04-2021 2:06pm #1

Hi,

Myself and Fiance are starting to plan our wedding. We are looking at dates in late 2021. Numbers wise we are planning a fairly small affair (70). Fully aware that we may have to move the date if restrictions are below 50. We could cut to 50. But we are optimistic.

So we have found a venue we absolutely love (Kilshane House). Utterly wowed by the place. However to have our wedding there with our numbers we are looking at a Monday wedding.

We have another place in mind (Ashley Park) which would have a Sunday available, but its nowhere near as wow. So we would need to choose between them. Our hearts are fully with Kilshane.

I would never have imagine that I would be in a position that I would possibly be asking people to take two days off work for my wedding.

I am wondering how people here would feel if they were invited to a Monday wedding late 2021?

Would you have any interest in attending a day two if it was on a Tuesday?

Would love to hear the thoughts of boardsies on this one. I don't know if we would even consider it in another year but maybe people have a build up of holidays this year and also in 2022 midweek weddings are going to be much bigger.

thejaguar · 26-04-2021 2:10pm

I wouldn't be a huge fan of the idea of taking two days off for a wedding.

Given the small numbers, you might be able to make it like a mini break for people. For what it's worth - if I was asking people to take a Monday and Tuesday off I'd feel I need to make it worth their while.

It really depends on your circumstances and who you're inviting. Bear in mind, you'll have to accept that some people will not want (or be in a position) to take the time off.

893bet · 26-04-2021 2:34pm

Having to take one day of work is bad enough with out 2.

Goose76 · 26-04-2021 2:38pm

Completely disagree tbh.

I might feel differently if it was in 'normal' times but I think for any wedding over the next 12 months, guests will (or should be!) flexible and appreciative of the fact that planning a wedding during COVID is hellish. Couples don't have the luxury of choice that they did in 2019.

Plus, people will be dying for social events and some time away and time off work come the end of this year. even those who previously may not have liked taking two days off for a wedding, they may have no issue with it at all come the end of 2021.

and with more people working remotely/flexibly now, some people may even log on from the hotel the next day and do some work if they were THAT fussed about not wanting to take two days off.

I wouldn't worry.

Navy blue · 26-04-2021 2:40pm

I would hate to be invited to a Monday wedding. It could cause a lot of hassle for people with kids trying to find babysitters (usual babysitters like grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends etc may not be as available to mind them on a weekday as a weekend) I would personally go for the other venue or postpone until they can fit you in on a weekend day.

woodchuck · 26-04-2021 2:42pm

Goose76 wrote: »

Completely disagree tbh.

I might feel differently if it was in 'normal' times but I think for any wedding over the next 12 months, guests will (or should be!) flexible and appreciative of the fact that planning a wedding during COVID is hellish. Couples don't have the luxury of choice that they did in 2019.

Plus, people will be dying for social events and some time away and time off work come the end of this year. even those who previously may not have liked taking two days off for a wedding, they may have no issue with it at all come the end of 2021.

I agreed. I'd normally be dead set against mid-week weddings and my annual leave is precious. But these aren't normal times. I've been struggling to use my annual leave last year and this year, because we can't go anywhere. I'm guessing the majority of people won't mind and may even be excited to finally have a social event to look forward to!

confusticated · 26-04-2021 2:43pm

I'd probably only go if it was a very close friend or family member to be honest. You may not have to cut numbers as I would expect a higher decline rate for a Monday! Midweek weddings will be a big thing in 2021 and 2022 but it's a lot more understandable if people had to postpone and had limited options left without losing deposits etc. rather than choosing a Monday first day. Also bear in mind that all those midweek weddings will need people to take days off so they might not have as much leave to take as you'd think. We originally had a Saturday, had to postpone and had the option of a Thursday or a Sunday and picked the Sunday as it needs one day off rather than two. Felt bad about even that.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 26-04-2021 2:43pm

We've just had to postpone our wedding and made decision to book a Sunday over the available Thursday or midweek dates we had been offered although it meant we had to select a date later in the year. I think you do have to consider your guests in the date you choose - most importantly, are they in jobs that will allow them to get the 2/3 days off? We have a few teachers in the family that we are worried won't be able to stay the full night and/or attend our day 2.

Personally, depending on the couple, I'd be happy to take the time off and have done so for weddings on a Thursday and a Monday. They were my best friend and cousin respectively though.

I found your opinions on Ashley Park and Kilshane interesting as my fiancé and I also considered both venues and had the opposite views to you. We much preferred Ashley Park and booked our wedding for there. Kilshane wasn't for us at all though is a lovely venue!

GingerLily · 26-04-2021 2:47pm

If you want a two day wedding then you can't really have it on a Monday, three days off work is a big ask. You'd be better off getting together with your guests the night before the wedding etc.

woodchuck · 26-04-2021 2:55pm

GingerLily wrote: »

If you want a two day wedding then you can't really have it on a Monday, three days off work is a big ask. You'd be better off getting together with your guests the night before the wedding etc.

Aren't day twos usually a more low key affair though, like an afternoon barbeque? Should be plenty of time for guests to travel home that day without taking a third day off.

GingerLily · 26-04-2021 2:58pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Aren't day twos usually a more low key affair though, like an afternoon barbeque? Should be plenty of time for guests to travel home that day without taking a third day off.

Fifty fifty in my experience, the last few were full day events (and into the night) but perhaps that's not what the OP intended.

lazygal · 26-04-2021 3:13pm

Very person specific but I don't work Mondays so it would be fine for me. But I'd be driving and leaving early for work the next day and my husband may or may not attend with me. I have access to child care so that wouldn't be an issue. I just wouldn't expect it to be a late night or plan a second day event. I don't think realistically people are going to be that accommodating no matter how close they are to you. I know also that a lot of people are going to have a lot of wedding invites given how many have been postponed and won't be able to go to all of them.

26-04-2021 3:16pm

I wouldn’t go. I know someone getting married on a Tuesday in 2022 and I don’t plan on going to that either.

bee06 · 26-04-2021 3:21pm

I’d be fine to go to a Monday wedding but I wouldn’t be going to day 2 (2 kids at home to be minded again).

PhilOssophy · 26-04-2021 3:22pm

OP - people will go to a Monday wedding, but don't be surprised or offended if the crowd thins very quickly around 10-11pm. Myself and wife have left weddings on Thursday at this time.
I can see it being a logistic nightmare for people with children though. Some people won't be able to attend on this basis.
I get the point above re annual leave and no offence intended, but I'd want to be very very friendly with somebody before I'm parting with 2 days annual leave for their wedding.
P.S. Don't expect anybody to sit around for Tuesday bar your immediate family.....most people aren't even bothered on a Saturday/Sunday!

Neyite · 27-04-2021 2:11pm

Is this during term time? Another factor to consider there. While childcare on a weekend is straightforward, it might be less so on a school night.

I'd probably have the annual leave to go to a Monday wedding, but wouldn't stay the night of the second day. We'd probably show our face and leave. And tbh, while I've actually got the leave accrued, I don't know if I'd use it attending a wedding unless it was immediate family or a very good friend.

qwerty13 · 27-04-2021 2:26pm

I wouldn’t be very enthusiastic about a Monday wedding, as that would mean leaving at 10/11 pm on the night of the wedding, or taking the Tuesday off. For me, 2 days AL is just too much for a wedding - unless it’s very close family or a very close friend.

There’s no way I’d attend a ‘day 2’ party on the Tuesday, as that could involve taking the Wednesday off too, depending on how far I had to travel, and the format of the ‘day 2’ - so a 3rd day AL. But I’ve never understood the point of ‘day 2’ stuff anyway.

Another thing to bear in mind is that some people may need to stay in the hotel on the Sunday night due to distance, so they might have to leave on the Tuesday morning due to childcare etc.

Magicmatilda · 27-04-2021 5:29pm

Thanks all for the feedback, it is kind of what I was expecting.

It is good to be able to get honest unbiased advice, as friends and family just say its fine and there is no issue, but I suspect they are just being nice.

We have taken on board the feedback and will likely go with the Sunday option. As someone pointed out it does mean that hairdressers might not be open but Jesus we can't please everyone!

Appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 27-04-2021 5:48pm

Most hairdressers don't open on Mondays either so that's not one to worry about!

Best of luck with your wedding whatever day you go for! Both venues are fab too (though obviously I'm biased)!

lazygal · 27-04-2021 5:59pm

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Thanks all for the feedback, it is kind of what I was expecting.

It is good to be able to get honest unbiased advice, as friends and family just say its fine and there is no issue, but I suspect they are just being nice.

We have taken on board the feedback and will likely go with the Sunday option. As someone pointed out it does mean that hairdressers might not be open but Jesus we can't please everyone!

Appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

I'd highly recommend a mobile hairdressers and makeup artist. You'll find lots available for a Sunday.

redheadcork · 27-04-2021 6:05pm

You’ll always find a Peter Marks open on a Sunday plus there’s a hairstyle called a takeaway blow dry that could be done the day before. Or as mentioned a mobile hair stylist.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 27-04-2021 6:12pm

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Most hairdressers don't open on Mondays either so that's not one to worry about!

Best of luck with your wedding whatever day you go for! Both venues are fab too (though obviously I'm biased)!

I may have misunderstood your comment. I was referring to hairdressers for your guests! If it's for you, there's plenty of hair and make up suppliers around who will be available on a Sunday or Monday.

27-04-2021 6:27pm

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Thanks all for the feedback, it is kind of what I was expecting.

It is good to be able to get honest unbiased advice, as friends and family just say its fine and there is no issue, but I suspect they are just being nice.

We have taken on board the feedback and will likely go with the Sunday option. As someone pointed out it does mean that hairdressers might not be open but Jesus we can't please everyone!

Appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

You DEFINITELY won't please everyone so don't even try.....after the year we've just been through.....suit yourselves & enjoy. Many years ago when the lovely Mrs Mc Carthy had a moment of insanity & said yes.... we ended up doing the deed on a Thursday in Kinsale funnily enough. Great day, great craic but I recall my wife's 2sisters ( both teachers) making a point of mentioning several time during the festivities about the " sacrifice/ effort/ upheaval" they had put themselves through to attend. Now, I had barely spoken to these 2 sister in laws prior to the big day....& I never felt inclined to make conversation in the last couple of decades either. The wedding was on a Thursday....there was 6month rsvp.....if you couldn't be bothered it certainly wouldn't bother me. Wedding are stressful affairs in any circumstances, do the best you can & ENJOY

Magicmatilda · 28-04-2021 9:04am

My hairdresser comment was that perhaps some aunties would complain they couldn't get their hair done. I am not worried about mine! To be honest I would probably happily do it myself. Although maybe I will change my mind as the day approaches!

woodchuck · 28-04-2021 10:11am

Magicmatilda wrote: »

My hairdresser comment was that perhaps some aunties would complain they couldn't get their hair done. I am not worried about mine! To be honest I would probably happily do it myself. Although maybe I will change my mind as the day approaches!

I'm getting married on a Sunday, but it didn't even occur to me about guests being annoyed that they won't be able to get their hair done

I've never gotten my hair done by a professional when attending a wedding!

Interesting point though. But screw it, you'll never please everyone.

pooch90 · 28-04-2021 11:01am

We got married on a bank holiday Sunday. The hairdresser thing was mentioned by my MIL about herself and her sisters. We fit my MIL in with my hairdresser but the aunties could do what they wanted.

Magicmatilda · 28-04-2021 12:25pm

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

We've just had to postpone our wedding and made decision to book a Sunday over the available Thursday or midweek dates we had been offered although it meant we had to select a date later in the year. I think you do have to consider your guests in the date you choose - most importantly, are they in jobs that will allow them to get the 2/3 days off? We have a few teachers in the family that we are worried won't be able to stay the full night and/or attend our day 2.

Personally, depending on the couple, I'd be happy to take the time off and have done so for weddings on a Thursday and a Monday. They were my best friend and cousin respectively though.

I found your opinions on Ashley Park and Kilshane interesting as my fiancé and I also considered both venues and had the opposite views to you. We much preferred Ashley Park and booked our wedding for there. Kilshane wasn't for us at all though is a lovely venue!

When are you getting married, if you don't mind me asking? Did you negotiate when you booked? Just wondering if you managed to get anything in terms of extras or anything like that.

zoobizoo · 28-04-2021 12:32pm

Like others, under normal circumstances I'd think it was a terrible idea but people will have built up holidays to take and will be looking for excuses to get away.

JeffKenna · 28-04-2021 12:34pm

To be fair it depends on your guest profile. Friday weddings are very acceptable yet this still involves two days annual leave for a lot of people working in retail etc.

Personally I wouldn't go, weddings are expensive enough without adding the cost of two days annual leave on top of it.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 28-04-2021 1:50pm

Magicmatilda wrote: »

When are you getting married, if you don't mind me asking? Did you negotiate when you booked? Just wondering if you managed to get anything in terms of extras or anything like that.

Our original date was 5 June and we've but postponed to 18 September next year. Didn't really negotiate but we felt that the package we were offered had everything we wanted at a good price so didn't feel the need to.

Monday Wedding

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