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29-09-2020, 08:26   #1
s1ippy
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Control, Sex and Intimacy

Is there ever a legitimate reason to withhold sex in a relationship? For a woman or man to refrain from sex with their partner (presuming they're attracted to them) for some reason of control or punishment?

Fair enough if there's some fair enough reason that you can't have sex for a while, but is it fair in a relationship to say "I'm not going to be in the mood for x amount of time" and ignore your partner sexually for that time? What about their sexual needs, self confidence, need for intimacy?

Times are tough and a lot of people around the place are going through some fairly bad stuff. Be nice to your person and don't drive them away.
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29-09-2020, 08:52   #2
s1ippy
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Actually topic may be better suited to AH, so mods feel free to relocate or. I just woke up fuming because people I love are not being treated fairly so I felt like I was going on a rant.
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29-09-2020, 18:53   #3
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Moved to AH, not an R&R thread

AH rules apply
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29-09-2020, 19:10   #4
Church on Tuesday
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Originally Posted by s1ippy View Post
Is there ever a legitimate reason to withhold sex in a relationship? For a woman or man to refrain from sex with their partner (presuming they're attracted to them) for some reason of control or punishment?

Fair enough if there's some fair enough reason that you can't have sex for a while, but is it fair in a relationship to say "I'm not going to be in the mood for x amount of time" and ignore your partner sexually for that time? What about their sexual needs, self confidence, need for intimacy?

Times are tough and a lot of people around the place are going through some fairly bad stuff. Be nice to your person and don't drive them away.
Nope, no it's not.
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29-09-2020, 19:35   #5
AllForIt
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If a partner is withholding something from you for 'punishment' you've got bigger problems than no nooky.
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29-09-2020, 19:47   #6
riclad
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Just because you are married or in a relationship with someone does not mean you get to a have sex anytime you like .
if a partner is not having sex as a punishment for you doing something else ,maybe wait a week and talk it over.sex is not essential,you can go without it for a few days .
if you have a serious long term problem you may need to go to a relationship
guidance counsellor.Its tough for alot of people who work from home,
they may end up spending up 90 per cent of their time with their partner.
And its not easy to go to a pub at the moment.
Theres not many places to go to meet friends under the current rules .
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29-09-2020, 20:14   #7
Sardonicat
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Witholding as punishment suggests the witholder doesn't really enjoy sex to begin with and views sex as something they do for their partner as opposed to a shared pleasure. Would you want to have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy having sex with you?
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29-09-2020, 20:15   #8
Wanderer2010
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Can a man withhold sex??
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29-09-2020, 20:20   #9
McGinniesta
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You cant beat a good ride.
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29-09-2020, 20:22   #10
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Would you want to have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy having sex with you?
Any hole's a goal[Joke]

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Can a man withhold sex??
Of the people I've known who were on starvation rations sex wise about half were women whose men weren't interested. I dunno if they withheld it directly but there was little or no bedroom action from them. These weren't oul lads either.
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29-09-2020, 20:39   #11
Larbre34
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You've got that backwards. You are entitled to **** all.

And by '**** all' I mean nothing rather than have sex with everything.

The verb 'withhold' does not enter the equation. If someone does not want to either initiate sex or agree to sex, for whatever reason in the wide earthly world they choose, or for no reason at all, then they aren't withholding anything.
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29-09-2020, 20:40   #12
Immortal Starlight
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It’s more than a bit weird. I’ve heard of the silent treatment but this really takes it to the next level.
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29-09-2020, 20:44   #13
McGinniesta
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Have a wank.
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29-09-2020, 20:46   #14
Errashareesh
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"In my opinion, most women are not sexually attracted to their husbands/partners and they view sex as a chore.

They therefore are in an ideal position to use sex as a means of control."
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29-09-2020, 20:54   #15
sameoldname
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Originally Posted by Larbre34 View Post
You've got that backwards. You are entitled to **** all.

And by '**** all' I mean nothing rather than have sex with everything.

The verb 'withhold' does not enter the equation. If someone does not want to either initiate sex or agree to sex, for whatever reason in the wide earthly world they choose, or for no reason at all, then they aren't withholding anything.
You can apply that sentiment to almost anything including speaking but most people would consider talking to each other a fairly fundamental part of a romantic relationship, as most do with sexual intimacy so I'm not actually sure as to your point here?
If I said to my girlfriend I'm not going to speak to you for 3 months and you're not entitled to **** all, I'm pretty certain she'd leave.
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