Breastfeeding question

SmallgirlBigcity · 02-08-2020 8:52pm #1

My baby is 8 months old and exclusively breastfed. He stopped taking a bottle for me at 4 months. I am due back to work when he is 11 months old and ill be working from home which is great. I plan to stop breastfeeding when he turns 1.

My problem is that when I start working again, my mother in law is going to mind my son every Friday from 8am-6pm. And I don't know how he is going to go all day without breastmilk. I thought I could get him on formula for all feeds during the day and I'd still breastfeed him in the morning and at night. So I tried replacing one breastfeed with formula, the one after his first nap. He drinks from a cup but will literally only drink about 1 ounce. He'll have his lunch then and had a huge breastfeed shortly after, so I know he's super hungry from the missed breastfeed after his nap.

I'm a bit concerned because he won't drink much formula so my plan to get him on the formula during the day isn't working. I don't want to pump because it's such a hassle. I tried it in the past and hated it.

Its such a shame because ideally I'd like to exclusively breastfeed him until he's 1 and then start cutting down breastfeeds very slowly. But I can't really do that because he'll be 11 months when my MIL starts minding him.

I don't know what to do and am pretty stressed worrying about it. I don't know anywhere else to ask this either. Any ideas on what I can do? Could he go all day with no breastmilk or formula and just food when he's 11 months old or is that wrong? Because all the books etc say they need breastmilk /formula until their 1 and that you shouldn't even consider dropping them until after they turn 1. Thanks in advance for any advice.

bee06 · 03-08-2020 1:38am

At 11 months he’ll be grand on just solids and water while you’re working. You might find that he’ll feed more at night to make up for it though.

SweetSand · 03-08-2020 1:52am

I completely agree with bee06. I went back to work when my 2nd daughter was 9 months old. She never took bottle so I ended up breastfeeding her until she was 1.5 years old. What I did - gave her a big feed in the morning before I left and as soon as I was back from work - she was on my breast. She did not starve and munched on solids while at minder. I used to work Saturdays so my husband would bring her around midday to my work so I could feed her. Finishing breastfeeding was hard for us though, I ended up going away with my eldest daughter for 5 days as tried few times before that - and failed miserably. My daughter never had formula and at 11 months old I wouldn’t bother introducing it.

punisher5112 · 03-08-2020 1:57am

Ours was on solids from 7 months, she was still getting bottle....

Some babies just need more and with the formula she was on the last type fast, was always hungry. Slept all night though and was a happy baby.

Minier81 · 03-08-2020 7:34am

There is usually a big difference in milk consumption between 8 months and 11 months as they gradually start eating more. I went back to fulltime work when baby was just shy of 12months and had pretty much dropped all day time feeds. I wouldn't worry at all for the next few weeks, then maybe from 6 weeks before going back very gradually try to drop (or even star by reducing) one feed at a time. At least you know baby will take an ounce of formula, 1 ounce can easily be enough when established on solids. It took me a while to cop on baby didn't need as much breast at 10/11 months, I was offering as normally and baby just wasn't bothered!! When the time comes make sure baby is offered plenty of water too.

annoyedgal · 03-08-2020 7:44am

Could have written your post about my eldest! Bottle refusal from 8 months. He started creche and it never was an issue. Took water in a sippy cup and solids. Took a breastfeed before and after creche. From one took cows milk in a sippy cup and i weaned him at 14 months.
Broke my heart trying to keep him taking a bottle.
Didn't bother with a bottle at all for number 2 after all the stress and went back to work when she was 10 months and she also managed fine on water and solids while i was at work.

SmallgirlBigcity · 03-08-2020 9:05am

This is all really helpful, thank you! I'm going to stop with the formula then if he can go all day without breastmilk/formula when he's 11 months. I'm so relieved to hear this.

Another question on this - should I start to drop a breastfeed about 6 months before I go back to work or do you think he'll gradually breastfeed less himself in the next month or so? He's a great eater and always wants to eat all of his food.

At the moment, I offer the breast a lot. He gets it first thing in the morning, before his first nap, after his first nap, before his second nap, after his second nap and then about twice before bed. He only feeds once or twice in the night. So that's about 7 or 8 breastfeeds per day.

Maybe I should stop offering one or two of these and see how he reacts. If he wants it I'll give it but maybe I should see if he actually needs all of the feeds or if maybe some of them are habit.

annoyedgal · 03-08-2020 11:03am

From memory they tend to drop a few feeds once solids are well established.
I think mine had morning, before naps and evening plus before bed plus once during night by around the 10 month mark. The after nap feeds probably went first
Go with your instinct on it, sorry not very helpful but always the best way!

Minier81 · 03-08-2020 11:24am

Totally agree with the above. The feed drops happen naturally usually and if trying to encourage a feed drop gently you can try to not offer/not refuse, distract and delay. I also found baby somethimes wanted a feed when I was around but was fine without if I wasn't three. Also she wanted one if she saw me hopping out of the shower etc if the boobs were on display. If you have a good eater I wouldn't be too worried at all. And you are right not to bother pumping, I went mad pumping and am still using my stash in her porridge, she's nearly 2!!!!

jelly&icecream · 04-08-2020 10:37am

I started mine in crèche at about 10 months and neither took more than a few ounces of either breast milk or formula that I left for them. Neither ever took to bottle. Your baby will change massively between 8 and 11 months. You say he's already well established on solids so I would say you really shouldn't be worrying. It'll sort itself out. Enjoy the last 3 months of your maternity leave.

I think I stopped offering the boob as much during "working hours" in the last few weeks to try and regulated my supply a bit but that probably isn't even necessary tbh. I didn't refuse them if they wanted it though.

First few months will be a bit of a upheaval but that's unavoidable anyway tbh.

lazygal · 04-08-2020 6:35pm

Hi op I breastfed on return to work with all my kids. For the second two I never used bottles and they settled into feeding when I was home only. It all worked fine and I have breastfed one to 4.5 years. Ask me anything if you need to.

SmallgirlBigcity · 04-08-2020 6:45pm

lazygal wrote: »

Hi op I breastfed on return to work with all my kids. For the second two I never used bottles and they settled into feeding when I was home only. It all worked fine and I have breastfed one to 4.5 years. Ask me anything if you need to.

Oh thanks lazygal! I really appreciate it. I would love to keep breastfeeding past 1 years but I'm reluctant to because it might prevent me from having a night away. I was thinking that if my baby is used to say one night feed, it means I can't go away for one night. What do you think? If you breastfed until 4.5, were your little ones used to having their breastfeeds and would be upset if you were away for the night or something? Or did you just not have any nights away until you completely stopped breastfeeding?

bee06 · 04-08-2020 9:01pm

SmallgirlBigcity wrote: »

Oh thanks lazygal! I really appreciate it. I would love to keep breastfeeding past 1 years but I'm reluctant to because it might prevent me from having a night away. I was thinking that if my baby is used to say one night feed, it means I can't go away for one night. What do you think? If you breastfed until 4.5, were your little ones used to having their breastfeeds and would be upset if you were away for the night or something? Or did you just not have any nights away until you completely stopped breastfeeding?

They are clever creatures. I’m still feeding my 2.5 year old and I had my first night away from him when he was 13.5 months. My husband looked after him and when he woke my husband just rocked him and he was back to sleep in 5 mins. I had a few nights away when he was minded by various people in the months after and they never had any Issues settling him either. He started sleeping through at around 16 months so no night feeds for a very long time.

lazygal · 04-08-2020 9:45pm

SmallgirlBigcity wrote: »

Oh thanks lazygal! I really appreciate it. I would love to keep breastfeeding past 1 years but I'm reluctant to because it might prevent me from having a night away. I was thinking that if my baby is used to say one night feed, it means I can't go away for one night. What do you think? If you breastfed until 4.5, were your little ones used to having their breastfeeds and would be upset if you were away for the night or something? Or did you just not have any nights away until you completely stopped breastfeeding?

I work shifts so I would often be home late and well after bedtime. They all adjusted pretty seamlessly. Once they knew dad was going to be doing that night's bedtime and I wasn't there at all they were fine. I had some nights away also and again no issues. I didn't plan on extended feeding, I just went with the flow and it kind of worked out fine.
I did night wean all of them at different ages for my own sanity as I needed sleep. My youngest is now nearly two and he feeds first thing and when I'm physically in work he might not feed again till the next morning. Then when I'm home he would feed a few times a day. They're clever and adjust their needs.

jlm29 · 05-08-2020 2:31pm

My last two babies were 9 and 10 months when I went back to work and had no interest in bottles! They were grand. They weren’t great sleepers, never slept in the cot, they always fell asleep when feeding for me, so she just got them to nap in the buggy.
You might find that your baby will feed more when you’re there to make up for it, but maybe not.
As for nights away, see how things go. My littlest baby is sleeping the night with a few weeks now (a miracle!), she just turned one. I’d be happy enough to leave her overnight, except ive Nowhere to go

. They’re clever little things babies, once they know their milk source isn’t available, they tend to just get on with it.

Bumpkins · 05-09-2020 6:45pm

Hi OP, my LO is 14 months old and my MIL looks after her two days a week. My LO blankly refuses to take my milk from a bottle or a cup. If it's not straight from the source she has no interest lol.
(prior to lockdown we had persevered for months to get her to take a bottle, but we stopped this during lockdown as I was always with her anyway, and now she won't take the bottle again but we're not going to push it this time)

I still pump when I'm away from her, but this generally goes to waste (unless I put in her weetabix the next morning

). She does normally feed more through the night on those days that I'm away (she normally can sleep through the night otherwise)

I haven't been away overnight from her yet, but I know that my hubby can settle her if I'm ever away. I have been on late nights out before though and she's always been fine without me.

SixtaWalthers · 04-10-2020 8:36pm

I don't think he would only stick to the milk after 1 year. For sure, you can try several other solid foods like bananas, and other soft fruit like peaches etc. You can also try boiled eggs because they are full of nutritions, energy and rich in protein. Or can see a variety of other options from here https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/food-for-1-year-old. But, indeed, we can't ignore the importance of milk, especially when he is only 11 months or even after 1 year. If you can't prolong breastfeeding, then I would suggest you to try cow milk or Enfamil infant formula like this https://jupitersupplies.com/enfamil-powder-infant-formula-12-oz-can-each/ because it is closer to breast milk than ever. You can also act upon the suggestion of your paediatrician in this regard and hopefully, he can recommend you a closer to breastmilk formula.

I didn't breastfeed to my eldest son and only used Enfamil and Hipp infant formula for him because it was tough for me to take some extra time from my strict working schedule, but yes, I breastfeed my girl and start giving some infant milk as well to her since 7 months. Raising kids is difficult, but you have some time then you can also carry on breastfeeding at least at the age of 2.

Breastfeeding question

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