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Disposal of a body left in your trunk by your arch nemisis

2»

Comments

  • #52
    maudgonner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    PucaMama wrote: »
    Are we talking about an adult or child body? Also when you take out the bones there would be a lot less for the dogs to eat. I have 4 dogs so I'd portion it into freezer bags and give a little every day.

    You'd want to be careful though. Those dogs will get a taste for human meat, so what happens when the meat runs out? Will they turn on you?

    Better become a serial killer to be on the safe side. If you ever get caught you might even be able to plead self-defence?


  • #53
    Winterlong
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    Have not read the whole thread, but Pigs are the best way to get rid of a human body. They will eat everything including the bones.
    I learned that from Brick Top in Snatch.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyEBXTL1Y3U


  • #54
    finglashoop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,127 ✭✭✭finglashoop


    Sign the car into your enemies name. Wait a few days .Park it outside his house with the keys hidden in his porch.

    Anonymously tip off the 5-0 of a bad smell / suspicious behaviour regarding a car parked on your street.


  • #55
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,466 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    badabing106 wrote: »
    I keep having this dream where there is a deceased body in the boot of my car, cunningly left there by my arch enemy with all clues leading to me

    Not only do I need to get rid of the body, but I need to get rid of the car as well. Everytime I get caught red handed

    What would you do to get out of this situation?

    Sausage grinder and chill sauce.

    find out where cliffs are steep, fill the car with magnesium, push down hill set magnesium on fire, car goes into water, the magnesium keeps burning the car insanely hot even underwater. You'd want a secluded area, and probably a bike in the backseat to get away on. Change of clothes in a backpack. Luckily you'd have the food to keep you going.


  • #56
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,154 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Dismember the body and dress the parts in unmatching clothes.
    Keep the parts in the freezer.
    Next time there's a plane crash in your area drive like fcuk and add the parts to the debris.


  • #57
    DanMurphy
    Registered Users Posts: 398 ✭✭DanMurphy


    In the dead if night, plant the body in the cycling position on a high nelly outside a country pub in Leitrim.

    And what about the stink?

    (Ahh, I'm sure the corpse would get used to it)

    ps. And you can bring your mobile phone, sure there's no signal up there anyhoo.


  • #58
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    You could Shawshank Redemption bits of the body all over the place via holes in the ole pockets.

    That's how I get rid of my household rubbish.


  • #59
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    badabing106 wrote: »
    I keep having this dream where there is a deceased body in the boot of my car, cunningly left there by my arch enemy with all clues leading to me

    Not only do I need to get rid of the body, but I need to get rid of the car as well. Everytime I get caught red handed

    What would you do to get out of this situation?
    Get some fuel for the car in a jerry can. Go to the car and fill up the fuel tank. Wait for nightfall to come. Get night vision spectacles. Drive the car lights out to a lake in the middle of nowehere. Use minor roads. Push the car into the lake. Walk home.


  • #60
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »

    Except the ass. Human ass is lovely and succulent.
    Actually the darker the skin the tastier it is. Mmmmmmm.


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  • #61
    Kimbot
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,693 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Drive it to syria and leave it out in the open, sure the US will blast it to pieces for you and your in the free :P


  • #62
    DanMurphy
    Registered Users Posts: 398 ✭✭DanMurphy


    5rtytry56 wrote: »
    Actually the darker the skin the tastier it is. Mmmmmmm.

    Tastes like chicken (they say) :pac:


  • #63
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    badabing106 wrote: »
    I keep having this dream where there is a deceased body in the boot of my car, cunningly left there by my arch enemy with all clues leading to me

    Not only do I need to get rid of the body, but I need to get rid of the car as well. Everytime I get caught red handed

    What would you do to get out of this situation?
    I'd change the heading to boot ;)


  • #64
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    DanMurphy wrote: »
    Tastes like chicken (they say) :pac:
    is that "finger lickin'friendly" as the Kentucky Colonel used to say?


  • #65
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    maudgonner wrote: »
    PucaMama wrote: »
    Are we talking about an adult or child body? Also when you take out the bones there would be a lot less for the dogs to eat. I have 4 dogs so I'd portion it into freezer bags and give a little every day.

    You'd want to be careful though. Those dogs will get a taste for human meat, so what happens when the meat runs out? Will they turn on you?

    Better become a serial killer to be on the safe side. If you ever get caught you might even be able to plead self-defence?
    My dogs love me they wouldn't go after me.
    I'd just pick off a few neighbours as a treat now and then. Might teach them not to have loud parties.


  • #66
    Enigma IE
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,158 ✭✭✭Enigma IE


    You need to call Winston Wolfe.


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  • #67
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,480 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    josip wrote: »
    Dismember the body and dress the parts in unmatching clothes.
    Keep the parts in the freezer.
    Next time there's a plane crash in your area drive like fcuk and add the parts to the debris.
    Last time a helicopter crashed in to a graveyard they recovered over 500 bodies.


  • #68
    DanMurphy
    Registered Users Posts: 398 ✭✭DanMurphy


    DanMurphy wrote: »
    On the Indo today where a lady in America sold a freezer at her yard sale.
    Trouble is, her dead Mum was inside it!

    (Hardly the OP.....? Naw.. )

    Update' She sold a neighbour the freezer for 30 bucks and told her not to open it for three months as it was a Time Capsule and 'Church members would collect the contents at that stage.'
    Sure enough, the buyer waited the three months to open the freezer and there was the body!
    'Who would do such a thing?' she exclaimed, as she recoiled in horror at the sight of the long dead Mamma.

    Jeez...u couldn't make it up :D



    Woman charged with witholding information of a death, and body concealment.
    The neighbour should be charged with being a gullible idiot.


  • #69
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,480 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    https://i.imgur.com/O7AWlC9.jpg


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