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Bullying As An Adult

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    #32
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I am full savage when someone tries take me on.
    I was bullied in school and now I seem to be hyper sensitive to any sort of bullsh1t about to go down. I am ruthless with my comebacks, and am like a little pitbull with my inability to let things go, which is sometimes a bad thing as I can take it way too far.

    I think sometimes people think I'm an easy target because I appear quite soft, but I can hold my own for the most part.


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    #33
    sadie06
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,706 ✭✭✭sadie06


    As an outsider I was witness to school gate bullying last year. My close friend rapidly developed full on friendships (lunches, nights in each other's houses, weekends away) with a few of the school mothers within weeks of her child starting school. They were all obsessed with each other and good old Facebook told a happy story of female bonding and fun. It was all very strange!

    Fast forward 18 months and the whole thing imploded, mainly instigated by one woman who viciously turned on two of the others. This woman was a bully as a child, and her tactics were the same as ever. Divide and conquer.

    Now they all have 7 odd years of exchanging bitter glances at the school gate ahead of them! Women can be dreadful bullies.


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    #34
    tonycascarino
    Registered Users Posts: 1,373 ✭✭✭tonycascarino


    The bully sees you as an easy target, you need to stand up for yourself.


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    #35
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,727 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    When I was getting my training in farming, there is the requirement to go onto a host farm for three months experience.
    If I got something wrong the person who was suppose to be helping me would hit me hard at the top of my left arm.
    I was around 18/19 years old at the time, he had a short fuse. I was shy in nature and I was doing my best, and just wanted to get that part of the course completed so I did nothing about it.
    He then had the cheek to ask if I would stay on longer after my three months were up.
    I was glad to get back home where I wouldn't be a punching bag.


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    #36
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Most bullies don't see themselves as bullies though. I have noticed that the vast majority of bullies do not live in the real world, but one which they have created in their heads. That doesn't mean they are alone though, because as we have seen throughout history, whole sections of a country's population can bully a sub section of it's inhabitants, and absolutely convince themselves that they are right. I don't see the lone bully any differently tbh. They all have a sense that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing and indeed can feel it's very much deserved.

    Guess what I am saying is that there really is not all that much difference between Mean Girls esque cliques, asshole Nathan in accounts, the KKK and The Third Reich.


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    #37
    Tomw86
    Registered Users Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Tomw86


    Would need a couple of examples - I have had exposure to situations of workplace bullying all of which have been dealt with by the company (Not necessarily always satisfactorily, but it has stopped the bullying being repeated).

    In 99% of workplace environments there is no excuse for repeated bullying and people should not get away with it, if you can't talk to anyone in your department then go to HR!


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    #38
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    It depends how good hr is though. I know of places where they either made a hames of it or were as useful as a chocolate fireguard.


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    #39
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Someone mentioned bullying by a neighbour. I was going to say that I'm fortunate to have never been bullied but I do have horrible neighbours..does that count? They love spreading rumours and fall silent when I walk past, not even replying when I say Hi. That's just the women. The men say Hi or salute me on the road, but a few of them don't speak to me at all when they are together in a group. The women are definitely the worst.

    I'm not vulnerable so it doesn't get to me.


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    #40
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    I am full savage when someone tries take me on.
    I was bullied in school and now I seem to be hyper sensitive to any sort of bullsh1t about to go down. I am ruthless with my comebacks, and am like a little pitbull with my inability to let things go, which is sometimes a bad thing as I can take it way too far.

    I think sometimes people think I'm an easy target because I appear quite soft, but I can hold my own for the most part.
    I dated a girl in college who had been bullied in secondary schools, and would go into full-blown superbitch mode during an argument.

    Bullying made her a very cold opponent in a dispute. Her insults were shockingly forthright and delivered with deadpan indifference. She could manipulate any situation to make you believe you were always in the wrong, in spite of the facts. I often found myself apologising in arguments that began because she had been late, or was hypersensitive to a comment I made.

    Outside those fits of indignation, she'd acknowledge that 'hardening up' in response to a traumatic bullying episode had made her overreach. It occasionally bordered on the sociopathic.

    I'm sure you're not like that, but I certainly believe the consequences of bullying on a person can long outlive the actual bullying episode.

    I suppose some people withdraw into themselves, and others become tough as nails.


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    #41
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    I dated a girl in college who had been bullied in secondary schools, and would go into full-blown superbitch mode during an argument.

    Bullying made her a very cold opponent in a dispute. Her insults were shockingly forthright and delivered with deadpan indifference. She could manipulate any situation to make you believe you were always in the wrong, in spite of the facts. I often found myself apologising in arguments that began because she had been late, or was hypersensitive to a comment I made.

    Outside those fits of indignation, she'd acknowledge that 'hardening up' in response to a traumatic bullying episode had made her overreach. It occasionally bordered on the sociopathic.

    I'm sure you're not like that, but I certainly believe the consequences of bullying on a person can long outlive the actual bullying episode.

    I suppose some people withdraw into themselves, and others become tough as nails.

    Did we date :o
    It sounds exactly like me. People outside my circle would see me as being quite cold, and I can be, to people I don't care about. Superbitch would be one way of describing it. People I've been with in the past have described arguing with me as though i have this wall around me and nobody gets passed it.

    I do think it's fight or flight though. I'm probably a lot more easily irritated and react much quicker because of school. I spent most of primary school badly bullied and when I was moved into a new school in 5th class, I was so withdrawn I wouldn't even answer roll call.

    In secondary school I came out of my shell again, and I'm at the point in my life where I chew people up as a form of entertainment. I feel people don't take me seriously, think I'm weak or that I'm a push over but I'm certainly not.


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    #42
    uch
    Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭uch


    I'm not being funny here but when this has happened me in the past I just ask them can I speak to them outside off the record and they normally shít, if they do go out with you say your piece and warn them that you'll take it further, I've only once, maybe twice threatened violence.

    21/25



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    #43
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    I dated a girl in college who had been bullied in secondary schools, and would go into full-blown superbitch mode during an argument.

    Bullying made her a very cold opponent in a dispute. Her insults were shockingly forthright and delivered with deadpan indifference. She could manipulate any situation to make you believe you were always in the wrong, in spite of the facts. I often found myself apologising in arguments that began because she had been late, or was hypersensitive to a comment I made.

    Outside those fits of indignation, she'd acknowledge that 'hardening up' in response to a traumatic bullying episode had made her overreach. It occasionally bordered on the sociopathic.

    I'm sure you're not like that, but I certainly believe the consequences of bullying on a person can long outlive the actual bullying episode.

    I suppose some people withdraw into themselves, and others become tough as nails.

    Jeez she actually reminds me of someone i had a brief flirtation with in college a couple of years ago. Smart girl, pretty, but very very highly strung and bossy :pac: Needless to say i never seen myself placing a wedding ring on her finger :D


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    #44
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Did we date :o
    It sounds exactly like me. People outside my circle would see me as being quite cold, and I can be, to people I don't care about. Superbitch would be one way of describing it. People I've been with in the past have described arguing with me as though i have this wall around me and nobody gets passed it.

    I do think it's fight or flight though. I'm probably a lot more easily irritated and react much quicker because of school. I spent most of primary school badly bullied and when I was moved into a new school in 5th class, I was so withdrawn I wouldn't even answer roll call.

    In secondary school I came out of my shell again, and I'm at the point in my life where I chew people up as a form of entertainment. I feel people don't take me seriously, think I'm weak or that I'm a push over but I'm certainly not.

    Lexie, you need to relax and enjoy life because you only get one shot at it....leave the conflict to the likes of isis and the north koreans ;) Most people are good decent people who arent into this shíte of trying to get a rise out of you.

    I admire your brutal honesty though i have to say. kudos.


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