Gap in CV due to depression

LegacyUser · 25-11-2020 1:11pm #1

I don't know where my life is going I'm 25 and graduated from university 2 years ago with first class honours in an Arts degree. I've been living away from home since I moved away to college at 18. I lived through college on the grant and random jobs and then after I graduated I ended up working full-time in a cafe.

My dad is Schizophrenic dad and my mother is depressed. This wil be my 6th Christmas alone. After I finished college I worked in that job for about a year and then I moved to a better 'good' job but had what I would call a breakdown from the stress it put me under and I quit after 2 months. I pretty much spent the rest of the year living off my savings depressed and alone.

About a month ago I started back at the cafe I used to work at, still minimum wage but it has me out of the house and at least when I'm at work it keeps my mind busy.

The thing is I feel so lost now though. My friends are all in better jobs, have relationships, familys etc and I feel like I have absolutely nothing. I have no real family relationships, I work a minimum wage job with no prospect of ever really having a car, house etc and I'm completely alone. I know no ones life is perfect and I'm lucky to have any job but I feel so worthless compared to my friends making a tenner an hour working random hours just to sustain my life that I don't even want.

I'm gay and have known for 5 years now and I still haven't come to terms with it. Lots of nights I'm trying to fall asleep and its like it haunts me. All I want is the typical nuclear family.

I really want to try and get another job, something even slightly above minimum wage and a bit more challenging. The problem is I don't know how to explain an almost year long gap in my CV, don't think saying I was depressed would really be good for chances of getting a better job.

Sorry for the disjointedness of this whole thing, my head is fried. Any advice on how to fill the gap in my CV would be really appreciated. Thanks

Purple Mountain · 25-11-2020 7:25pm

Hey there.
I think you posted about this when you were in college if I'm right?
First up, well done on achieving a first class degree!
I think you need a medium term plan for the future for both your health and wealth.
Your mental and physical health needs to be the foremost priority in your goals.
So look at how you can be in a better place health wise in say 6 months.
Are you speaking to a counsellor for example about your issues surrounding coming out?
Are you still getting help for the depression- meds, therapy?
Ask yourself what steps you can take to ensure you that in 6 months, your health and heart could be in a better place?
Forget about worrying about the gap on the CV. That's only a small detail in your journey to getting a career.
You have a BA. Realistically if you want to specialise in any area, you'll need further education.
Do you want to study any more?
Do you want to go into a job directly that you can enjoy and make a living from?
I think it would be worth while booking to see a career counsellor.
Thrash out your dreams, desires, needs etc.
You are focusing too much on the little detail of the CV gap. Park that.
Most post grads, before they get their "permanent" job, hop around in part time roles so that's nothing new. Don't worry.
Stick at your current job for now if it pays the bills and you're happy there but keep an eye on the goal of getting to your dream job so make an appointment soon to get onto that.
If you're the same person as before, I remember you felt you couldn't go home for Christmas under any circumstances. While that's sad, I completely understand and respect that sometimes we can't be around family or friends for own wellbeing so well done for recognising that. That in itself is very mature.
Enjoy your Christmas Day doing your own thing, at your own leisure.
Best wishes.

neonsofa · 25-11-2020 7:40pm

Just to assuage your fears specifically surrounding the gap in your CV, many professionals choose to use a functional (skills based) CV rather than a chronological (listing full career history in order of date from beginning to end). The functional CV will highlight your skills and relevant experience without drawing attention to gaps in the same way a chronological CV does. Google "functional cv" to see what im talking about. Hopefully this helps.

The previous post addresses some of the other topics you broached, and hopefully you will get some advice on those aspects. Wishing you all the best.

Sonic the Shaghog · 25-11-2020 11:49pm

Very simple put down carer in the home as the job and dates. If they ask you were caring for grandmother/parent who was ill I've done it before due to similar and it never came up at interviews

Citrus_8 · 25-11-2020 11:55pm

Best is to start from your mental health. There's organisations like MyMind where you can get a psychologist who can really help if you go regularly. Cv can wait, first is to stand up on your feetis. I've been through most of there things you've said, if not all. I'm a few years older and I get what you're saying... Don't give up. Good luck.

Purple Mountain · 25-11-2020 11:57pm

Don't lie. No need.
OP had no issue getting back into the cafe he worked in again so it's not as big a deal as he thinks.
Lies lead to tangled webs. If he tells an employer he's a carer, then gets the job and the employer asks about his caring role in conversation one day, then he's down a rabbit hole.
A good bit of advice I always like is:
"If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything."

hedzball · 26-11-2020 12:00am

You have a lot going on.. but don't hit yourself round the room with the stick. You have done very well given the lack of family support.

Don't mind what your friends are at.. some might even be envious of you.. you mention you are alone and you are gay.. come to terms with the gay thing first.. gay isn't a bad thing... its not illegal.. be proud of who you are and stand tall . You've achieved more than a lot of folk your age.

As for the gap in the cv.. you come across as someone quite driven.. find the job you want that you know you can do and fob off the cv.. fill the gap..

I'm in a job I'm over qualified to do working with absolute monkeys and getting paid far far too much.. but I still had to lie and play the game to get in (5 mins from home and a k minimum a week I was singing like a canary)

A jobs a job man.. don't go applying for **** you cant do.
But if you want something you can..

Gap in CV due to depression

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