Fellow men, I need a Hobbie before the women drive me demented

Alejandro68 · 20-10-2020 10:39pm

Stamp collecting or learning the rock guitar. Also cave diving and local archaeology.

Strumms · 20-10-2020 10:46pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Then charge them for a go on it.

The chair or ?

Mr Meanor · 20-10-2020 10:51pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

My partner doesn't even live with me and he absolutely loves his shed.

I've seen 'Men Sheds' fitted out better than most houses.

Sardonicat · 20-10-2020 10:53pm

Strumms wrote: »

The chair or ?

I take it you haven't seen the film? Let's just say when I ask him what he's doing in the shed he tells me he's making me such a chair to see me through the next 6 weeks....

drake70 · 20-10-2020 11:00pm

kowloon wrote: »

Watch burn after reading, build your own handcrafted chair.

Just found an animated gif of the chair

Capt'n Midnight · 20-10-2020 11:19pm

bluewolf wrote: »

Women are just the worst

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weBbZ11d5LM

As the old saying goes.

s1ippy · 20-10-2020 11:20pm

Not all women exhibit this incessant behaviour. It pays to be able to spot the characteristics early on so that you chicanery like this doesn't happen. Living with three women is painful enough. I did it briefly in first year of college and found it distasteful. But don't get me wrong I do absolutely worship women.

4:05 of that clip for demonstration

Brewing is actually a solid hobby. You can invest as much or as little in it as you like. And it pays dividends in delicious beer, or wine or whatever your poison is.

If you don't have a shed, you at least deserve a room to yourself. Layers of eggcartons and carpet overlaid is great for absorbing sound coming in from outside and they'll dampen the room if you want to facilitate a half decent recording setup. It's very therapeutic to mess around with audio you collect and create. Audacity is freeware which gives you a great go at the basics.

You could even tell them you're getting into ad hoc recording and found noises, record them yapping and play it back for them as a demonstration of the audio fidelity or something. They might have a revelation about the inane crap they spend all day gabbling about.

Water John · 20-10-2020 11:33pm

thunderdog wrote: »

Sounds like you might need to go for the ‘yap for fap’ exchange scheme. Each time all of them are yapping away, you find a nice quiet place for a fap instead. It will take your mind off the constant yapping at least. Not a hobbie per se, but definitely time well spent

Don't do a Jeffrey Toobin, be sure to turn off zoom.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 21-10-2020 6:41am

I hear serial killing keeps you pretty busy! :P

When they ask you in the documentary, why you had the insatiable urge to kill... just tell them you couldn't stop the voices.

(The voices of all the women who won't stop chattering!

)

irishblessing · 21-10-2020 8:45am

Ninthlife wrote: »

Its gas

hahahahahaha this is why the Irish are definitely the best at the oul banter

Snails pace · 21-10-2020 8:48am

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Take up cycling. Go the whole hog with a decent bike and a kinky amount of lycra. With the 5km restriction, you can still do 30km loops around your house and disappear for a good 2/3 hours.

Or like most other fellas just give out about them. You'd get hours out of that too.

Softshoulder · 21-10-2020 8:56am

Shag another bird and then you'll feel guilty and won't find her blabbering annyoying.

Casey78 · 21-10-2020 8:58am

Nevermind the cycling,nobody likes cyclists,you should take up Running. Greatest thing ever imo.

fleet_admiral · 21-10-2020 9:02am

Niece you say...

Pauliedragon · 21-10-2020 9:07am

Ride the niece then none of them will talk to you. Nice quiet life ahead.

Casey78 · 21-10-2020 9:13am

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Ride the niece then none of them will talk to you. Nice quiet life ahead.

Its his own niece you sick ****.

pgj2015 · 21-10-2020 9:18am

Take up fishing or hiking or both.

fonecrusher1 · 21-10-2020 10:27am

Definitely time to build yourself an underground man shed with extensive soundproofing and a solid steel door with scratch proof coating.

whisky_galore · 21-10-2020 10:28am

wally1990 wrote: »

My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space

So men...... How do you escape this madness?

Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

Did you see what blogger X said
Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
Did you hear about X down the road
Where did so and so get that car

Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
You cold?..
. Ya gurl, cold isn't it
Ya gurl

Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

Not much different to men yakking about every soccer player's fart endlessly.

21-10-2020 10:36am

pgj2015 wrote: »

... or both.

Fishing on a hill?

21-10-2020 11:20am

Get yourself a gaming PC and join a discord

Casey78 · 21-10-2020 12:00pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

Not much different to men yakking about every soccer player's fart endlessly.

Lewis_Benson · 21-10-2020 12:09pm

wally1990 wrote: »

My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space

So men...... How do you escape this madness?

Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

Did you see what blogger X said
Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
Did you hear about X down the road
Where did so and so get that car

Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
You cold?..
. Ya gurl, cold isn't it
Ya gurl

Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

My friend, what you need is a quiet corner.
Stick on some headphones and the music of your choice, and have a read of this thread, it's the manliest thread on boards

What's the etiquette here??
https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057970654/1

iamstop · 21-10-2020 3:48pm

Metal detector.

ShatterAlan · 21-10-2020 4:20pm

Give them a taste of their own medicine. Invite a few male friends with bags of cans. Coach them first on the object of the exercise. All get together in the house and proceed to prattle on about not only crap that wouldn't interest women like football, cars, action movies (I know, some women like this stuff but most don't) but also crap that will annoy or disgust them like mysoginistic jokes, dead baby jokes, menstrual cycle jokes, horrible stuff like that. Curse a lot, fart a lot, belch a lot.

Then when the evening is over and they take you to task tell them "Now you know how I feel having to listen to your drivel about Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor."

riclad · 21-10-2020 6:08pm

Go for a walk or cycle,
i listen to podcasts ,and the radio .
the time pass,s by .
have you no room to go to, sit in the yard , garden if you have one.
its a good time to read books ,you never got time to read.
go to a park

get out walk for an hour every day .
i think women are great, but they tend to talk about similar subjects
,soaps ,reality tv.
Introverts need a quiet space .
its a tough time for most people .
maybe get a switch handheld console ,or download games on a phone or a tablet.
I Read books on my phone if theres no wifi where i am .

no one likes cyclists,
wtf .

bikes are selling like hotcakes .
its a lot safer and healthier to cycle to work than get on a bus and a
luas and risk getting covid.
And its healthy .
a bike on adverts.ie or gumtree is 60 euro .
get a mountain bike, make sure the brakes are working before you buy it.

I,M Sure it,ll be fine ,a bunch of lads in a room , drinking ,
maybe not a great idea in the middle of a pandemic .

even in winter its nice to cycle around along the canal,
i use back streets avoid heavy traffic .

And theres lots of parks if you happen to live in dublin.
if you need to stop for a rest.

women are women ,2 or 3 women in a house will never stop talking.

wally1990 · 21-10-2020 7:22pm

Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

And nowhere near all of them

Introvert perspective incoming.

Woking at the kitchen table

Whilst on a work meeting (I'm muted but trying to listen and she knows it)

Sister : did you see the Scissors(q1)
Me: nope, no idea where it is
Sister : are you sure (same q#2)
Me :yes, I haven't seen it
Sister : I thought you had it (statement and implying a question #3)
Me: no!! I told you I haven't seen it, go away I'm on a call
Sister : I only asked ya about the scissors! Storms off

I'm writing a work email whilst my work phone is ringing from a client aloud and wife hands me a phone across my screen into my face

Wife : can you read this email for me
Me : ya, but have you read any of it
Wife : ya but read it again
Me: fine, reads email( and says nothing)
Wife : well........
Me : well what, I read it
Wife : tell me about it
Me: I thought you read it
Wife : not really, I'd thought ud tell me

Uggg
----
Reading a work document

Sister : did you pay the bins
Me: yes (1 word answer)
Sister : when?
Me: last night
Sister : what time
Me: (distracted and look up annoyed because I'm trying to focus on a document), what?!? What's with all the questions???
Sister : I just wanna know did you pay the bins
Me: I already told you I did

I'm standing and making a cup of tea

Sister : will you make me a cup
Me: ya sure and hands cup to sister
I sit down and put on headphones
Sister : inaudible mouth movements
Me : takes off headphones, what??
Sister : is ther sugar in this??
Me: no, there is only milk (puts headphones back on)
Sister : taps my shoulder
Me (remove headphones second time),, what??
Sister : are you sure?
Me: what? Of course there isn't, you don't take suagr, I didn't give you sugar, I just made the tea, there is no sugar (puts headphones straight back on)
Sister ( moves my headphone back off my ear), I was only asking, it tastes like there is sugar

Jesus H christ!!!!

----

I'm reading a work document

Wife : will you bring out the recycling?
Me(looks at pc clock 12 53pm), yes in 7 minutes I'm on lunch and will do it
Wife : (literally 2 min later) : what about the recycling?
Me: (takes off headphones), ya in a few minutes when I'm on lunch
Wife : so you gonna bring out the recycling
Me: (sighs!) yes, when I'm on lunch
Wife : sure it's there all morning and your doing nothing
Me(what?!?!? I'm working
Wife : ah ya your just reading!!

(by now it's 1pm)

Me : fine, fine, fine I'll bring it out now

---

Watching the football (real Madrid v Shk)

Sister :I'm getting a 3 in 1, do you want the same
Me : ya no problem, I'll have one
Sister : what do you want
Me : what??
Sister : what do you want
Me : a 3 in 1 I said
Sister : have you any cash or card
Me : I've only card
Sister : so you've no cash?
Me (internally rolls eyes) : no!!! I've only card I said

irishguitarlad · 21-10-2020 8:10pm

wally1990 wrote: »

Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

And nowhere near all of them

Introvert perspective incoming.

Woking at the kitchen table

Whilst on a work meeting (I'm muted but trying to listen and she knows it)

Sister : did you see the Scissors(q1)
Me: nope, no idea where it is
Sister : are you sure (same q#2)
Me :yes, I haven't seen it
Sister : I thought you had it (statement and implying a question #3)
Me: no!! I told you I haven't seen it, go away I'm on a call
Sister : I only asked ya about the scissors! Storms off

I'm writing a work email whilst my work phone is ringing from a client aloud and wife hands me a phone across my screen into my face

Wife : can you read this email for me
Me : ya, but have you read any of it
Wife : ya but read it again
Me: fine, reads email( and says nothing)
Wife : well........
Me : well what, I read it
Wife : tell me about it
Me: I thought you read it
Wife : not really, I'd thought ud tell me

Uggg
----
Reading a work document

Sister : did you pay the bins
Me: yes (1 word answer)
Sister : when?
Me: last night
Sister : what time
Me: (distracted and look up annoyed because I'm trying to focus on a document), what?!? What's with all the questions???
Sister : I just wanna know did you pay the bins
Me: I already told you I did

I'm standing and making a cup of tea

Sister : will you make me a cup
Me: ya sure and hands cup to sister
I sit down and put on headphones
Sister : inaudible mouth movements
Me : takes off headphones, what??
Sister : is ther sugar in this??
Me: no, there is only milk (puts headphones back on)
Sister : taps my shoulder
Me (remove headphones second time),, what??
Sister : are you sure?
Me: what? Of course there isn't, you don't take suagr, I didn't give you sugar, I just made the tea, there is no sugar (puts headphones straight back on)
Sister ( moves my headphone back off my ear), I was only asking, it tastes like there is sugar

Jesus H christ!!!!

----

I'm reading a work document

Wife : will you bring out the recycling?
Me(looks at pc clock 12 53pm), yes in 7 minutes I'm on lunch and will do it
Wife : (literally 2 min later) : what about the recycling?
Me: (takes off headphones), ya in a few minutes when I'm on lunch
Wife : so you gonna bring out the recycling
Me: (sighs!) yes, when I'm on lunch
Wife : sure it's there all morning and your doing nothing
Me(what?!?!? I'm working
Wife : ah ya your just reading!!

(by now it's 1pm)

Me : fine, fine, fine I'll bring it out now

---

Watching the football (real Madrid v Shk)

Sister :I'm getting a 3 in 1, do you want the same
Me : ya no problem, I'll have one
Sister : what do you want
Me : what??
Sister : what do you want
Me : a 3 in 1 I said
Sister : have you any cash or card
Me : I've only card
Sister : so you've no cash?
Me (internally rolls eyes) : no!!! I've only card I said

I think you need to divorce and find a partner you're compatible with.

El_Duderino 09 · 21-10-2020 8:20pm

wally1990 wrote: »

Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

And nowhere near all of them

Introvert perspective incoming.

Woking at the kitchen table
...

I just don’t think I’d get on with anyone in this story.

skooterblue2 · 21-10-2020 8:25pm

wally1990 wrote: »

I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space

So men...... How do you escape this madness?

Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

Too late to say it but you should have wished your sister and niece the best of luck ("F.O. to your own house!")

Since the damage is done my I suggest a short break for 5 years in Corsica followed by some light travel to the darker continent for another 10 years.
You can use my travel agent they will handle the finer details.
[URL="https://en.legion-recrute.com/mdl/info_liste_a.php?
article_theme=23&block=23&titre=Where-to-join"]Butlins exotic French destinations[/URL]

If you seek something more monastic : https://www.glenstal.com/abbey/hospitality/guesthouse

I belive you need something like an underground fortress to retreat to :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO25JYAaJC0&list=ULiyKU1UwUAqQ&index=200

Capt'n Midnight · 24-10-2020 10:06am

https://pics.me.me/real-human-20-70-miles-away-hello-i-am-an-37611086.png

riclad · 26-10-2020 8:36pm

Maybe put a small shed
In the back garden
All you need is a table a chair a light
and you ll have a quiet space to go to

It sounds as if you are working
in the kitchen and you are getting
asked random questions from
women when you are trying to do work on zoom
or Skype, you have no proper work space to work in and the house is full of women who
never seem to stop talking

COVID · 26-10-2020 8:55pm

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be Coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Dyr · 27-10-2020 12:23am

Casey78 wrote: »

Its his own niece you sick ****.

Glad you cleared it up I thought it was someones elses neice he was referring to

bnt · 27-10-2020 8:53am

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

https://pics.me.me/real-human-20-70-miles-away-hello-i-am-an-37611086.png

That belongs in the Catfishing thread, if you ask me.

I’ve been thinking about buying a new guitar, and note that big music retailers like Thomann have been doing great business this year. Some of their most popular guitars are going out the door as soon as they come in. At the same time, I don’t think it could be a better time to learn an instrument, since the quality of budget instruments is really good.

If I had the space and no neighbours, I’d get a drum kit, since it’s something I’ve long wanted to learn, but if you’re looking for a hobby, I’d recommend the electric bass. The world needs more bassists, there are already too many guitarists.

27-10-2020 9:01am

Hope they are wearing masks and social distancing with the neighbour. Talking excitedly for a long time in close proximity is an ideal way to get the rona.

dhaughton99 · 27-10-2020 9:10am

Having a fling with the sister will sort it out.

_Brian · 27-10-2020 9:14am

irishguitarlad wrote: »

I think you need to divorce and find a partner you're compatible with.

Agree with this.
OP has surrounded himself with a class of person that you would
Need to be brain dead to live with.

Surely this isn’t a recent development.

jester77 · 27-10-2020 9:20am

Start working on a man cave, clear out some space in your basement or attic. Put in some walls (sound proofing recommended) to enforce your space, a solid door and some good ventilation. Install a good sound system, TV and games system if its of interest, some good whiskys, comfortable chair, shelf for some good books that you want to read and a get yourself a smoking jacket.

lawrencesummers · 27-10-2020 9:41am

Cycling.
Fresh air not a care in the world and it’s good for you.

I used to come home to be given a blow by blow account of the OH’s day, and being the consummate gentelman I used to listen To parts and seek clarification at some point to ensure she thought I was paying attention.

But then she used to ring one if not two of her friends and relay word for word the exact same blow by blow account of her day to them.

So now I go home, pretend I’m doing something urgent and wait till she gets bored, phonesone of her friends and I listen to bits of that. When she comes at me with the same story I tell her the ending before she gets going and that generally does the trick. Stops her in her tracks.

_Brian · 27-10-2020 9:45am

Reading the replies here it seems that allot of lads are living a life where they can’t stand being in the presence of their other half for any length of time.

Got to say I’m shocked.

moonage · 27-10-2020 9:51am

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Cycling.
Fresh air not a care in the world and it’s good for you.

Others have suggested a shed. Why not combine a shed and cycling?

jjzhpEfkhBLT8MD2Y5OTkvNXzOSUeenlqAkVuzXZX6-896jdvYbTCDFzknCgsMaR2XLEJsTvZfYFLxgT5rLcdQSPSGcEJLhy3zVHvA

jjzhpEfkhBLT8MD2Y5OTkvNXzOSUeenlqAkVuzXZX6-896jdvYbTCDFzknCgsMaR2XLEJsTvZfYFLxgT5rLcdQSPSGcEJLhy3zVHvA

lawrencesummers · 27-10-2020 11:26am

_Brian wrote: »

Reading the replies here it seems that allot of lads are living a life where they can’t stand being in the presence of their other half for any length of time.

Got to say I’m shocked.

I would be more worried about the men who are able to listen to all of the ****e that women go on with. I don’t expect my OH to listen Intently to my ramblings on rugby, politics or the price of farmed salmon.

Something wrong with them lads.

Fellow men, I need a Hobbie before the women drive me demented

Comments