Books to avoid like a bookworm on a diet

Aeneas · 14-03-2007 11:40pm

The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
In another thread I have described how I hated this book and the film based on it. Ondaatje can write but this is all too clever and self conscious. The relationships and plot ring false and contrived. Despite the praise heaped on it by writers I admire like Richard Ford and Toni Morrison I thought it a self important but empty book, well deserving of the Booker Prize.

lilwyrdsis · 15-03-2007 12:57am

Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho - Awful, narrow, high almighty attitude. Depressing.

Mansfield Park - Jane Austen - Boring, I found it hard to stamch that such a goody two shoes boring character got everything she wanted in the end, oh the virtue! (agh!!). WHole tutorial hated it in college.

No!! Don't diss Pratchett - he's hilarious!

jackdaw · 11-04-2007 10:51am

Micheal Crichton 'PREY'-- great big pile of utter crap...

humbert · 27-04-2007 2:01pm

zaph wrote:

When I saw that article, and specifically the mention of Vernon God Little in it, I realised that I should have included it on this thread. I did actually finish it, but it's apalling rubbish. I'll never read another Booker Prize winner again having endured that crap if that's the sort of thing they give out prizes for. And yes, I know it's a subjective opinion, but I've got 35% of the readers on my side

I just have to say I loved Vernon God Little. Picked it up and didn't put it down again 'til I was finished.

Jonesy3110 · 27-04-2007 2:05pm

Micheal Crichton 'PREY'-- great big pile of utter crap...

If I ever meet Michael Crichton I'll take my hard-back copy of Prey and bop him on the head with it. I feel he scammed me into buying it. He wrote so many good books (timeline = awesome) then I bought Prey

Bastard

galactus · 27-04-2007 2:16pm

humbert wrote:

I just have to say I loved Vernon God Little. Picked it up and didn't put it down again 'til I was finished.

Well worth a read. Good interview with DBC here.

Corruptedmorals · 19-05-2007 11:15pm

How Many Miles to Babylon- Jennifer Johnston.

UGH. Couldn't even finish it. One of the other English classes have to do it, hate that..

luckat · 19-05-2007 11:19pm

Have to say I liked Prey. Nonsense, but fun.

Papillon87 · 20-05-2007 12:04am

Corruptedmorals wrote:

How Many Miles to Babylon- Jennifer Johnston.

UGH. Couldn't even finish it. One of the other English classes have to do it, hate that..

AGREED! Consider yourself lucky that you weren't in one of the "other" English classes. Last year, I was.

ZorbaTehZ · 20-05-2007 2:02pm

Corruptedmorals wrote:

How Many Miles to Babylon- Jennifer Johnston.

UGH. Couldn't even finish it. One of the other English classes have to do it, hate that..

'Twas a damn fine read imo.
Hilarious in places, and a very good portrayal of the anglican ascendancy and the society of the time. Interaction between Jerry and Alec was interesting and very realistic, as was the conversation. And then there's the portrayal of the war, which was very insightful.
Only problem I had with it, was that I thought it was a bit short.

RawK · 22-05-2007 12:02am

ok bare with me!

Choke - Chuck Palahnuik
I really loved Lullaby and Survivor, but this was just so drab in comparrison!
you finish it and all you're left with is a big "... SO ****ING WHAT???"

Less Than Zero - Bret Easton Ellis
just has absolutely no point! again i actually read this at the exact same pivotal moment in my life as the main protagonist in this book. Too boring, it actually made me very depressed!

if i think of more (which i am sure there are, i'll name them!)

cousin_borat · 22-05-2007 12:07am

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

Title says it all really. Well there's more. Terrible, self indulgent, tripe. I could go on

hawkmoon269 · 22-05-2007 12:26am

dr.bollocko wrote:

You know I am still trying to work it out. On the whole, the conclusion of the book points that it was all just in his head, the product of a mind over-obsessed with status and narcissism. After reading Psycho first I was convinced that Ellis was a loon masquerading as a fiction writer. His writing style in Psycho is excruciating. I loved the book, but anyone who has read it will know what I am getting at.
The ridiculously long musical descriptions, the huge trips deep inside Patrick Bateman's head. But after realising that this book was still in my head some 5 years after first reading it, I thought that I must have missed a trick with Ellis.

Since then I have gone back and bought the rest of his books. Less than zero, his debut, really reads like a debut novel and TBH is missable unless you are a fan of the author and want to see the storm that he started. Also his first sentence in print ever is one of the most fascinating I have ever read for a debut published sentence. It still bounces around in my head now from time to time and I like to play with its different meanings.
Rules of attraction was a great book. if for the way it finished alone. Also its throw-away philosophy from flawed characters is astounding, the rambling nature of the writing is very relaxing. The fact that it is an eighties book about early eighties college in America really makes you think about how stagnant we have been for 20 years, because it is still a template for university dystopia in the 21st century. If anyone has seen the movie, they will know that the movie was reset in a modern college culture. I think that this was a travesty. Why is it so important for every generation to think that they invented recreational drugs and depression?
I also couldnt stop reading Lunar Park, though as a literary work it is incredibly criticisable, as an exercise in breaking and rewriting most of the rules of 1st person fiction in what could essentially be fluff it is irresistible. Wading from Ellis' own nihilistic tendencies as a post-drugboom post-success depressed author looking for a thrill with nothing new to do, including himself in the novel and then swinging seamlessly to a Stephen king writing style for the bizarre continuation... I just loved the writing style and it really made me begin to see the merit in the author.

I also must hop to the defence of Atomised and Naked Lunch. I loved both these books for their deconstruction of humanity into a lonely machinic existence, one with sex, the other with drugs.

For me, though it has been repeated fairly regularly through this thread, my least appealing books tend to be those penned by Pratchett. I knew he had a huge fan base, I just had no idea that so many other people also didnt like the guy.
**ducks**

Excellent post

feckidyparp · 08-06-2007 1:28am

I decided a while back that I was going to read a few 'classics' since some of the newer stuff I was reading was a bit crap. So I got my hands on Herman Melville's book, Moby Dick. (I almost wrote "I got my hands on Herman Melville's Moby dick. That would have been embarrassing.) this is the most boring and un-readable book I have ever come across. Stay well away from it.

Zaph · 08-06-2007 1:43am

Yeah, it's amazing how some of those books ever became considered as "classics". Another is The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, which is possibly the most boring book ever committed to paper. The plot summary is basically old man sits in boat catching nothing for ages, eventualy catches large fish, large fish is eaten by sharks before he manages to land it. And that's pretty much it, so if you haven't read it I've saved you the bother. Complete and utter dross. And don't get me started on John Steinbeck's so-called "classics".

Sapien · 11-06-2007 3:00pm

The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fffforde.

I was amazed to discover it is followed by a string of sequels. Unconvincing twaddle.

Gowranistan · 14-06-2007 5:39pm

Have to agree that closing time by joesph heller is coma inducing. Is anything by him other than catch 22 good? But how can you dislike prattchett?

pwd · 23-06-2007 1:07pm

Gowranistan wrote:

Have to agree that closing time by joesph heller is coma inducing. Is anything by him other than catch 22 good? But how can you dislike prattchett?

I've read the following books by heller, apart from Catch 22
Closing time is good and has the same characters as Catch 22.
Something Happened is good, but dreadfully, dreadully depressing.
Good as Gold is not worth reading.
I also read the start of his autobiogrphy and it seemed promising enough, if you like bios.

Some of pratchett's stuff is very poor - though his good stuff is brilliant

LiamDuff · 25-06-2007 7:06pm

The usual crap that people mention in these sorts of thread.

The Da Vinci Code
The Alchemist
Nick Hornby's last one 'A long way down'. Pure muck.

stevejazzx · 27-06-2007 1:42pm

Re: Dickens
Lads seriously, a great writer one of the 'untouchables' in litreary history I would've thought. I can imagine that a lot of people read fragments of his books and decide they're long winded.

Karlusss · 27-06-2007 6:12pm

I found Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to be astoundingly poor.

Considering it came with a blurb declaring it king of the book universe, and the reviews people I know gave it, I was a bit surprised when it turned out to be boring muck.

Extreme-LoopZ · 14-07-2007 2:14pm

I'm suprised nobody has mentioned Catcher in the Rye yet. I can't believe I wasted so much of my youth on this book. I tried to make myself like it, because of it's 'status', before I finally accepted it for what it is - an abysmally written piece of garbage.*It really is the worst goddamn book I've ever read.It really is*.

RawK · 14-07-2007 8:41pm

loopz, it has been mentioned already... more than once

RawK · 14-07-2007 8:45pm

Karlusss wrote:

I found Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to be astoundingly poor!

aye, you're not the only one, im pretty sure i fell asleep during that book, and woke up near the end... blah blah blah etc

theCzar · 14-07-2007 9:03pm

Anything by Jules Verne, but especially twenty thousand leagues under the sea. It might have enthralled a Victorian audience hungry for the exotic but to a modern reader its the most pedantic drivel you could find in a lifetime. Pages and pages of descriptions of marine life is dull. I don't give crap about the enchanting colours of marianus prophylaxis decadii

I've read Journey to the centre of the earth too, and I think what annoys me most about Verne is his annoying habit of deflating any tension or suspense that might have previously been present.

It seems to me, that whenever something exciting is about to happen, the narrator hits his head and wakes up after the excitement is over and we get a couple of dull paragraphs summary of what might have been an exciting chapter.

Attack by giant squid would be a good example of this phenomenon.

The best thing about Verne's books are their merciful brevity

[/rant]

Extreme-LoopZ · 14-07-2007 9:25pm

RawK wrote:

loopz, it has been mentioned already... more than once

I've looked through the entire thread and can't see it mentioned anywhere. Oh yes, also, Robinson Crusoe. Had a stab at this a while back and it bored me to death.:o

RawK · 14-07-2007 10:41pm

aaah... my appypollyloggies there friend, i'm after mistaking this thread with a similar one on another forum I know, where it has arised!
whoops

Zaph · 14-07-2007 11:08pm

I wouldn't worry too much Loopz, if a book is that bad it deserves to be mentioned many times to warn the rest of us of it's awfulness. Never read Catcher in the Rye myself, but Franny & Zooey by Salinger is terrible sh1te too.

norrie rugger · 19-07-2007 10:02am

King's the Dark Tower series

All because of the crappy "I can not think of a real ending" ending.

I'm sorry but taping on a crappy ending, knowing it and telling people two pages to go not to read it as you may be disappointed is total tripe.
I mean you read 7 (yes SEVEN) books and he says to not read the ending as it may be considered crap.

He even has the nerve to say and i paraphrase "don't go further in this book, as you may not like the ending. instead try to imagine that he gets everything that he wants and lives happily ever after with all his friends"

I'm sorry King but I bought those books so that you could tell me the story.
If I wanted to imagine the ending why would i bother buying books at all?
And if i COULD imagine an ending and story, then i would be writing books myself

Also the fact that he ties it in with nearly every other book he has ever written screws them up also, especially The Talisman and The Black House

End rant

Esmereldina · 19-07-2007 11:10am

RawK wrote:

aye, you're not the only one, im pretty sure i fell asleep during that book, and woke up near the end... blah blah blah etc

I read this years ago and I loved it!

I think it depends on how much hype you hear about a book before you read it though. If I'd heard a book was going to be that good Karlusss, I'd probably be disappointed too

Tar.Aldarion · 19-07-2007 11:14am

norrie rugger wrote:

King's the Dark Tower series
All because of the crappy "I can not think of a real ending" ending.

I'm sorry but taping on a crappy ending, knowing it and telling people two pages to go not to read it as you may be disappointed is total tripe.
I mean you read 7 (yes SEVEN) books and he says to not read the ending as it may be considered crap.

He even has the nerve to say and i paraphrase "don't go further in this book, as you may not like the ending. instead try to imagine that he gets everything that he wants and lives happily ever after with all his friends"

I'm sorry King but I bought those books so that you could tell me the story.
If I wanted to imagine the ending why would i bother buying books at all?
And if i COULD imagine an ending and story, then i would be writing books myself

Also the fact that he ties it in with nearly every other book he has ever written screws them up also, especially The Talisman and The Black House

End rant

I'm four books in.

Esmereldina · 19-07-2007 11:29am

stevejazzx wrote:

Re: Dickens
Lads seriously, a great writer one of the 'untouchables' in litreary history I would've thought. I can imagine that a lot of people read fragments of his books and decide they're long winded.

I would also like to concur with all the Dickens haters out there! I had to read Hard Times for the Leaving Cert., and after spending a year analysing it, I think I can safely say it is 'The Worst Book Ever Written' TM
Stupid sentimental Victorian moralism :mad:

Corruptedmorals · 20-07-2007 12:54pm

Extreme-LoopZ wrote:

I'm suprised nobody has mentioned Catcher in the Rye yet. I can't believe I wasted so much of my youth on this book. I tried to make myself like it, because of it's 'status', before I finally accepted it for what it is - an abysmally written piece of garbage.*It really is the worst goddamn book I've ever read.It really is*.

Seconded. Maybe not worst but up there.

Maccattack · 20-07-2007 12:59pm

ones without pictures

galactus · 20-07-2007 1:03pm

norrie rugger wrote:

...rant...

I packed in during Book 2 (or 3). The bit with the weird crabs on a beach etc.

I did enjoy Book 1, which has a great opening line:
"The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed".

Pyjamarama · 20-07-2007 1:04pm

Esmereldina wrote:

I would also like to concur with all the Dickens haters out there! I had to read Hard Times for the Leaving Cert., and after spending a year analysing it, I think I can safely say it is 'The Worst Book Ever Written' TM
Stupid sentimental Victorian moralism :mad:

Argh that book gives me nightmares!! As in it was living hell to read it :mad: AND analyse it AND write an essay on it

Hippo · 20-07-2007 1:05pm

Esmereldina wrote:

I would also like to concur with all the Dickens haters out there! I had to read Hard Times for the Leaving Cert., and after spending a year analysing it, I think I can safely say it is 'The Worst Book Ever Written' TM
Stupid sentimental Victorian moralism :mad:

No arguing with Hard Times, a bizarre choice for the leaving cert, it's comfortably his worst book. But there's plenty of others he wrote that were terrific.

Esmereldina · 20-07-2007 5:57pm

Hippo wrote:

No arguing with Hard Times, a bizarre choice for the leaving cert, it's comfortably his worst book. But there's plenty of others he wrote that were terrific.

Yeah I'd say there probably are better ones by him but I'm still not into the moralism, sentimentality, stock characters and angelic dying children that seem to come in most Dickens books! I disagree with the idea of 'classics' in general, and am of the view that while it may have struck a chord with a victorian audience, times have changed now and he doesn't have much to say to me (unless I wanted to find out about victorian society).

I like my literature nice and disposable

ZorbaTehZ · 20-07-2007 10:47pm

Extreme-LoopZ wrote:

Oh yes, also, Robinson Crusoe. Had a stab at this a while back and it bored me to death.:o

Robinson Crusoe is my favourite book, and was probably the book that actually got me interested in literature. What did you find boring about it?

theCzar · 20-07-2007 10:54pm

ZorbaTehZ wrote:

Robinson Crusoe is my favourite book, and was probably the book that actually got me interested in literature. What did you find boring about it?

I liked it too, but any book will have its fans and detractors. I love plenty of the books listed on this thread so go figure. :rolleyes:

I mean, I've seen Dickens and Pratchett defamed.

ZorbaTehZ · 20-07-2007 10:59pm

theCzar wrote:

I mean, I've seen Dickens and Pratchett defamed.

I couldn't agree more. I was shocked to see Dickens here ... one of the greatest story-tellers I've ever read.

BossArky · 25-07-2007 2:07am

Let me add the following "paper": London Lite

Missus Pongo · 25-07-2007 1:37pm

I've been reading it for months and I don't know why. Kind of like saying your prayers at bedtime long after you've stopped believing in God. The final words are "To be continued". Please, please, Norman, no more.

Mind you, it was well ripped off for the film The Good Shepherd.

brianthebard · 25-07-2007 1:50pm

theCzar wrote:

I mean, I've seen Dickens and Pratchett defamed.

And thank god for that!

Red Hand · 25-07-2007 1:57pm

brianthebard wrote:

And thank god for that!

Pratchett? What don't you like about him?

AJG · 30-07-2007 3:43pm

I think someone already mentioned 'The Alchemist' but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why it was so revered. It was like a poor man's Borges or Marquez whose '100 years' I really liked namely because it was unlike anything I'd ever read.

katems · 31-07-2007 10:36am

"She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb - awful awful book - nothing redeeming about it in the slightest

The_Minister · 31-07-2007 4:09pm

Don't diss Pratchett, he's amazing.

"Jane Eyre" is awful, good god that book is overrated

Hermy · 11-08-2007 5:39pm

'The Castle' by Iain Banks - one of the most mind-numbingly frustrating books I have ever read!

looksee · 11-08-2007 5:55pm

Love Jane Eyre, I can see why it wouldn't appeal to everyone, but its one of my favourites.

The 'Earth's Children' series is desperate rubbish but every now and again I disengage my brain and read it again....

Wuthering Heights and James Joyce's Ulysses are two pet hates, but there are lots of books that I just couldn't be bothered reading, nothing to do with how 'good' they are - pretty well any spy or detective story, and, rather unreasonably, anything that has been translated.

Books to avoid like a bookworm on a diet

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