'Think Positively'

Asian Scammer · 15-09-2019 9:33am #1

I'm afraid it's not that simple. Isn't this the most unhelpful patronising piece of advice? It's sort of like saying "ignore your own instincts". I recently heard some idiot on the radio harping on about how there's been some new research that recommends positive thinking, and how we should all think positively! Oh stop.

And it's not that I disagree with the benefits of positive thinking. But that's because it's easy to think positively when good things are happening. Other then that positive thinking is something that you can only force so far. I mean lets take somebody who ended up killing themselves; that person probably forced themselves as hard as they could to think positively every day for many years before they finally gave in.

BDI · 15-09-2019 9:34am

At least you have a radio. That’s something.

riemann · 15-09-2019 9:35am

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple.

Not with that attitude.

Asian Scammer · 15-09-2019 9:35am

BDI wrote: »

At least you have a radio. That’s something.

I'm sorry?

BDI · 15-09-2019 9:40am

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm sorry?

Apology accepted, now keep finding the good things in life.

EllieB · 15-09-2019 9:42am

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple. Isn't this the most unhelpful patronising piece of advice? It's sort of like saying "ignore your own instincts". I recently heard some idiot on the radio harping on about how there's been some new research that recommends positive thinking, and how we should all think positively! Oh stop.

And it's not that I disagree with the benefits of positive thinking. But that's because it's easy to think positively when good things are happening. Other then that positive thinking is something that you can only force so far. I mean lets take somebody who ended up killing themselves; that person probably forced themselves as hard as they could to think positively every day for many years before they finally gave in.

Whilst I get where you’re coming from, to a point, I think the sentiment of positive thinking is an important one. I know it’s a bit of a cliche but negativity breeds negativity and it’s so easy to get sucked down into the doldrums if you let yourself.

Obviously, for a clinically depressed person, being told to “think positive” is patronising and probably only serves to make that person feel worse because they can’t think positive but overall, I think it’s something most of us need to do in order not to let life with all it’s problems, drag us down. Just my opinion!

Mad_maxx · 15-09-2019 9:46am

EllieB wrote: »

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple. Isn't this the most unhelpful patronising piece of advice? It's sort of like saying "ignore your own instincts". I recently heard some idiot on the radio harping on about how there's been some new research that recommends positive thinking, and how we should all think positively! Oh stop.

And it's not that I disagree with the benefits of positive thinking. But that's because it's easy to think positively when good things are happening. Other then that positive thinking is something that you can only force so far. I mean lets take somebody who ended up killing themselves; that person probably forced themselves as hard as they could to think positively every day for many years before they finally gave in.

Whilst I get where you’re coming from, to a point, I think the sentiment of positive thinking is an important one. I know it’s a bit of a cliche but negativity breeds negativity and it’s so easy to get sucked down into the doldrums if you let yourself.

Obviously, for a clinically depressed person, being told to “think positive” is patronising and probably only serves to make that person feel worse because they can’t think positive but overall, I think it’s something most of us need to do in order not to let life with all it’s problems, drag us down. Just my opinion!

Negative experiences breed negativity, you have to have positive experiences for the positive mentality to arrive.

Resilience and resolve is a different kettle of fish and an admirable trait

riddles · 15-09-2019 9:48am

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure!

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 15-09-2019 9:50am

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple. Isn't this the most unhelpful patronising piece of advice? It's sort of like saying "ignore your own instincts". I recently heard some idiot on the radio harping on about how there's been some new research that recommends positive thinking, and how we should all think positively! Oh stop.

And it's not that I disagree with the benefits of positive thinking. But that's because it's easy to think positively when good things are happening. Other then that positive thinking is something that you can only force so far. I mean lets take somebody who ended up killing themselves; that person probably forced themselves as hard as they could to think positively every day for many years before they finally gave in.

It's a type of CBT, changing your mindset. Being grateful for small things. Gradually over time your mindset shifts and this becomes your normal way of thinking.

Agree it might not be very useful for someone who is currently in deep depression or anxiety, they might need additional support or medication until they get to the point where they are able to use CBT.

Start small, it does help change a negative mindset over time.

Capt'n Midnight · 15-09-2019 8:06pm

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple.

Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

TheValeyard · 15-09-2019 8:10pm

I know one guy who's thoughts were so positive, he got aids.

That's how it works right?

Tammy! · 15-09-2019 8:18pm

TheValeyard wrote: »

I know one guy who's thoughts were so positive, he got aids.

Are you sure? Are you hiv positive about that?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 15-09-2019 8:19pm

I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.
(Winston Churchill)

Ipso · 15-09-2019 8:42pm

EllieB wrote: »

Asian Scammer wrote: »

I'm afraid it's not that simple. Isn't this the most unhelpful patronising piece of advice? It's sort of like saying "ignore your own instincts". I recently heard some idiot on the radio harping on about how there's been some new research that recommends positive thinking, and how we should all think positively! Oh stop.

And it's not that I disagree with the benefits of positive thinking. But that's because it's easy to think positively when good things are happening. Other then that positive thinking is something that you can only force so far. I mean lets take somebody who ended up killing themselves; that person probably forced themselves as hard as they could to think positively every day for many years before they finally gave in.

Whilst I get where you’re coming from, to a point, I think the sentiment of positive thinking is an important one. I know it’s a bit of a cliche but negativity breeds negativity and it’s so easy to get sucked down into the doldrums if you let yourself.

Obviously, for a clinically depressed person, being told to “think positive” is patronising and probably only serves to make that person feel worse because they can’t think positive but overall, I think it’s something most of us need to do in order not to let life with all it’s problems, drag us down. Just my opinion!

The problem these days is that positive thinking is too linked to the laws of attraction/ The secret shiite. It can get to the point where pointing oit reality is negative.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 15-09-2019 8:47pm

Mindfulness or some other meditation practice is an extremely effective way of instilling a sense of positivity and calm in your life.

strangel00p · 15-09-2019 8:58pm

This whole positive thinking is just a cliche with no real grounding in reality.

Dreaming that everything is going to go well when the bank is at your door demanding the keys to your house is naive. Positive thinking, negative thinking, its bull****. There is no secret or five step plan to make your life perfect by thinking happy thoughts.

I'd rather prepare for the worst and then be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't happen.

I would consider myself to be reasonably comfortable in life - mainly because I have always prepared for the worst case scenario. In my experience there are very few happy coincidences, so prepare accordingly.

nthclare · 15-09-2019 10:53pm

I wouldn't be instilling the new age woo and stay positive vibes to anyone.

That's only an easy way out of responsibility and personal growth.

There's no harm in being a bit negative now and again or having fears, it's a survival mechanism.
Fear and negativity can be an asset rather than a liability especially when used with common sense and rationale.

I see an emergence of sunshine lollipops and rainbow's culture, but it's another way to control people.

Turn them into door mats, living and let live.
When you're all positive and submissive it'll be easier to piss on your back and tell you it's raining.

I nearly got caught up in that bull**** before and it's cumboya and pass the basket at the end of the evening.

Life coaches are another shower of rankers, telling people how to live their lives,and their own trails of destruction quite evident if you can read between the lines.

Spiritual leaders, another shower of snake oil salesmen...

Responsibly and honesty isn't rocket science to be honest

Tammy! · 16-09-2019 10:10am

It depends on the problem op and the context and who you're talking to whether you know them well or not. If it's trivial there's no harm in someone saying to try to look on the bright side. If it's more serious, then it might come across as condescending but they could just not know what else to say.

You'd love Mike Brady op!

topper75 · 16-09-2019 10:21am

Tammy! wrote: »

It depends on the problem op and the context and who you're talking to whether you know them well or not. If it's trivial there's no harm in someone saying to try to look on the bright side. If it's more serious, then it might come across as condescending but they could just not know what else to say.

You'd love Mike Brady op!

He sounds like a white Obama.

jimgoose · 16-09-2019 10:44am

Earthhorse · 16-09-2019 10:49am

Most people have a disposition or a temperament by the time they're a bit into adulthood and that is probably predictable a good bit before that too.

Whilst I do think self reflection and small changes in thinking habits can make a big difference in your life I don't think you can fundamentally change your disposition. "Thinking positive" is ultimately a meaningless mantra unless it's backed up with practical steps and exercises you can repeat that are proven to form better habits. Forcing yourself to "be happy" or "think positive" just makes you feel like an impostor, leading to only more misery.

Pyr0 · 16-09-2019 11:14am

What I think of when someone says "think positive"

this-is-fine.0.jpg

16-09-2019 12:47pm

Its all down to the people you choose to associate with.

Personally, its a breath of fresh air when you are in the company of people who are full of new ideas and plans, and who can only see opportunities and not problems.

I read somewhere lately about the 5 levels of society:

level 1 : life sucks. Usually the attitude found in places of conflict and poverty, prison etc.

level 2: this sucks. People who are presently not in the ideal place in their life. Unhappy marriage, dole queue, picket line, menial job. But there is hope for a positive change.

level 3: life is ok. White collar workers, they have attained security, have time off from work to enjoy life, decent standard of living, no money worries.

level 4: life is good. eg. People who work for Google, decent salary, flexible work environment, space for creativity, opportunity to contribute new creative ideas.

level 5: This level is where a small percentage of the world's population exist; presidents, celebrities, religious leaders.

Wibbs · 16-09-2019 12:57pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I
level 4: life is good. eg. People who work for Google,

Not the ones I've known. Run ragged most of them. Well paid sure, but they put in the hours and soon enough are looking to leverage
having Google on the CV into something less hassle. It seems to be an environment for newly minted university graduates and/or workaholics.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 16-09-2019 3:00pm

Zendaya Icy Carpentry wrote: »

Agree it might not be very useful for someone who is currently in deep depression or anxiety, they might need additional support or medication until they get to the point where they are able to use CBT.

Positive thinking is something that I find helpful as a mental health prophylactic, so to speak. It can help to stop me reaching the point of critical downward momentum into an episode of depression, and by ingraining it as a habit, the very fact that I'm finding it a habit that's hard to maintain is a big warning sign in itself.

But, I cannot emphasise enough how as a cure rather than prevention it's not only not helpful, it's so so damaging and painful.

When you say "think positively" to a depressed person you seriously might say "flap your arms and fly!" I understand the words but what, how? I am physically incapable of doing that. Pointing out all the people and things I have to be grateful for makes me want to die because I know intellectually these are people who love me, wonderful things in my life that people would kill to have, and the sight and thought of them just leaves my brain absolutely cold. It's like if you were having sex, doing everything you know you've enjoyed and desired immensely in the past and your body just wasn't responding at all, not a flicker in the knickers. "Just have sex!" isn't good advice in that scenario, it's just going to make you aware of what you've lost and how you've changed, you have a separate problem to solve, this is just a symptom or expression of that problem.

(Just a quick note I only wrote that in the present tense as a stylistic choice, I'm fine right now!)

But yeah on the day to day I've found it very good, it's made me a happier person. It's not going to work for everyone but I wouldn't write it off before giving it a good go.

Outlaw Pete · 16-09-2019 3:04pm

I tried positive thinking once. I knew it wouldn't work.

Your Face · 16-09-2019 3:05pm

Thinking is only half the battle, you have to make it reality with action.

victor8600 · 16-09-2019 4:41pm

I would see "think positively" is a social request. Other people find it easier to deal with a positively attuned person. Sure, they like to see you fail, sorry, I meant they like to see you overcome your problems in a positive way.

Your life, your success in a career, your relationships -- all depend on other people's perceptions of you. Unless you are a very good liar, if you think negatively inside, it will be obvious to others and they will not gladly share their opportunities with you.

metaoblivia · 16-09-2019 5:29pm

I'm a self-described optimist and this is how I describe my outlook: I know there will be tough times. I just believe I have (and most of us have) the ability to get through the tough times. It may mean hard work, it may take a while, and I may not emerge entirely unscathed. But I've experienced several tough situations in my life and I've navigated them all (sometimes clumsily, but we do our best) and I'm still here. And that's gotta count for something, right? So I plan to keep on doing that until I expire.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 16-09-2019 5:59pm

I’m a terminal cancer patient. You can imagine how many times I’ve been told to stay positive. Wow, thanks, I never thought of that. :rolleyes:

And while we’re at it, no, not everything happens “for a reason”. I’m going to die in my fourth decade for a reason?

vriesmays · 16-09-2019 6:02pm

Positive thinking is a protestant concept from Calvinism. In the mid-1900s Americans were falling ill from their strict religion. Some developed a positive outlook to stay healthy. Now people think this can cure cancer.

'Think Positively'

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