mustard with bread, pork and chicken

so ive mostly been using mustard on the side of the plate for nearly every meal for a long time now.
i would usually take the butterknife and glide a chunk out of the jar and scrape it onto the plate of whatever i was having.
i have found it particularly invigorating with broccoli, mash, fish apart from the usual blase pork applications.
i have always looked forward to the nasal oxygenational poetry it creates, and when carrots get involved, well, i just want to call my mother.
i am weary of using the word i, a friend called dermot who was a writer and a neighbour and drinking sparring partner (yup that dermot) admonished me for having the I in writing and i remember him specifically saying over some experimental cocktails in my fathers bar back in the old neighbourhood "avoid the I, always avoid the I, the last thing you want in writing is the I, even though thats all we write about but at the same time you are not supposed to mention it"
sometimes i miss getting pissed with dermot locally and driving his car down to sligo, there's an art gallery there the model its called, he'd be getting some award for some play and we'd be drinking in the bar across the road and rockin in stocious. goodtimes. bless u dermo.
he ****n hated mustard though, i remember making these leftfield sambos for himself and marty waters one day in 2004, it was a rainin nightmare, me and the two old boys trying to watch television, giving up and admitting defeat to its inequitable myriad nightmares and just putting on the jukebox i had learned to hack, it was an old xp system that one just had to hold their finger on the bottom left of the screen while it was switching on and access to the entire file library was granted.
nice times back in the day with the old boys in the early millenium, the rest of the world was going mad with foul tasting excitement, like they didn't even know the post millenium hangover wasnt going to sting.
we knew though, me and the two old fellas in a run down country pub, with the best ham and mustard sandwiches known to mankind.