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'No girlfriend. Just go to work, go home'

  • 20-10-2019 11:43pm
    #1
    Bullet To The Head?
    Site Banned Posts: 1 ✭


    I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?


«134

Comments

  • #2
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Never.

    When you get the girlfriend it gets worse.


  • #3
    Bigboldworld
    Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭Bigboldworld


    The cycle of life I’m afraid.


  • #4
    BDI
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    There must be something you always wanted to do or someone you always wanted to be. Do a list. You have no anchors holding you back from doing this. You could be the Irish Lance Armstrong or the Irish Michael Flatley.

    Or you could feel sorry for yourself. Girls like men who do stuff. When their friends ask them what’s he like they don’t want to say “oh he’s grand now that he has me”


  • #5
    riemann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,063 ✭✭✭riemann


    Start a few hobbies, interests.

    Meet like minded people.

    Get off boards.ie


  • #6
    RacoonQueen
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 20,366 Mod ✭✭✭✭RacoonQueen


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

    Have you tried asking a woman you're interested out on a date?


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  • #7
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I have no hobbies and hardly any friends. I go out alone 3 times a week to meet women but no joy. I do meet a lot of women but nothing seems to come out.

    Where's my depressed borderline alcoholic gf?

    Dating apps ftw


  • #8
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I'm too ugly for them.

    Ah. You're screwed so. Pardon the pun


  • #9
    Arghus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,638 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Take up fly-fishing.


  • #10
    BDI
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I'm too ugly for them.

    There is something for everyone.


  • #11
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    You don't have to work.


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  • #12
    riemann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,063 ✭✭✭riemann


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Where's my depressed borderline alcoholic gf?

    In the trash with your personality I'd say.


  • #13
    Tuco88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭Tuco88


    Before someone else says it...

    Eh yaaa and ya join a GYM blah blah blah...


  • #14
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

    Finding someone special gives you a greater purpose OP. It can change your entire course of life.

    My Grand-aunt was found slumped over her desk at school while she was filling in the roll books, she was a teacher and she was single. What a way to go


  • #15
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    I know a guy who is pig ugly but won't settle for an ugly chick. He is now 40 and single.
    Honestly mate get a fat chick or an ugly chick or an ugly fat chick. Bonus points if they are foreign and like to look after their men.
    My missus if good looking but I'd trade her for an ugly bird who doesn't expect too much from me and life in general of I'm being honest.
    I'm nearly sure the ratio of men to women in in your favour these days and it's 51%/49% so you should he good.


  • #16
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Before the war I was honestly thinking of going to Ukraine to buy a wife. Downside would be I'd have to move there. If I brought her home she'd divorce me.
    Seriously mate unless you've got some deformatey your not mentioning you can do it. I know it can be hard, I've been the guy who is in the corner of a club and no-one is showing any interest. It's strange once I have a girl on my arm all the girls show interest it's a weird competitive thing they have going on.


  • #17
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    Honestly sounds like you've got a confidence problem. Have you ever tried watching self help stuff on YouTube? It's great.


  • #18
    Andrew00
    Registered Users Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭Andrew00


    Dance for me
    Dance for me
    Dance for me
    Woah Woah Woah


  • #19
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Yeah I know. I'm not going down without a fight. Just on the comedown from a weekend bender so feeling more depressed than usual.
    Ah suicide sunday;)


  • #20
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Yeah I know. I'm not going down without a fight. Just on the comedown from a weekend bender so feeling more depressed than usual.

    Jaysis
    You do know there is more to life then women?
    Or. Men?
    Or whatever your gig is?
    Just go & do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want!!
    All the lads at work are jealous of me because I do the above! :)
    (I do have an OH, but he lives a long way away)


  • #21
    RMAOK
    Registered Users Posts: 11,223 ✭✭✭✭RMAOK


    Andrew00 wrote: »
    Dance for me
    Dance for me
    Dance for me
    Woah Woah Woah

    I hate that song. :mad:


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  • #22
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.


  • #23
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    RMAOK wrote: »
    I hate that song. :mad:
    I wouldn't mind it if it wasn't for your one's ridiculous accent. Seems to be industry standard to put on a ludicrous accent for singing.


  • #24
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    bubblypop wrote: »
    Jaysis
    You do know there is more to life then women?
    Or. Men?
    Or whatever your gig is?
    Just go & do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want!!
    All the lads at work are jealous of me because I do the above! :)
    (I do have an OH, but he lives a long way away)
    That's the thing about life. Happiness is based on ups and downs. If it's good all the time your not happy. If you can do whatever you want all the time you will get bored of it and want the simple life. And if he finds a relationship he will get bored of that eventually, but should have fun along the way. We can't win in this life unfortunately unless we are willing to accept life for what it is and what we have and not what we have not. Unfortunately society tells us different..


  • #25
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Why is it "hell" being single OP? No woman (or man) would want to be pursued out of that level of panic.
    iamtony wrote: »
    I know a guy who is pig ugly but won't settle for an ugly chick. He is now 40 and single.
    Honestly mate get a fat chick or an ugly chick or an ugly fat chick. Bonus points if they are foreign and like to look after their men.
    My missus if good looking but I'd trade her for an ugly bird who doesn't expect too much from me and life in general of I'm being honest.
    Crikey just break up with her.


  • #26
    Sandor Clegane
    Registered Users Posts: 1,129 ✭✭✭Sandor Clegane


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    No gf means no sex, no love, no happiness. Just empty days spent drinking.

    Look at all those bitter loser men who sit at the bar all day. That's what happens when you have no woman.

    Some of the most miserable people I know are in relationships.


  • #27
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    Why is it "hell" being single OP? No woman (or man) would want to be pursued out of that level of panic.

    Crikey just break up with her.

    If only it was that easy. Breaking up would involve making her and my kids homeless. Anyways she bleedin great in the sac. Like I mean crazy lady level of great:)


  • #28
    Sandor Clegane
    Registered Users Posts: 1,129 ✭✭✭Sandor Clegane


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Why don't they break up?

    They will eventually, usually after having a couple of kids first though, which ties them together forever heaping more misery upon them.


  • #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    iamtony wrote: »
    That's the thing about life. Happiness is based on ups and downs. If it's good all the time your not happy. If you can do whatever you want all the time you will get bored of it and want the simple life. And if he finds a relationship he will get bored of that eventually, but should have fun along the way. We can't win in this life unfortunately unless we are willing to accept life for what it is and what we have and not what we have not. Unfortunately society tells us different..

    Not true at all!
    My life is good, all the time, I am happy.
    I can do whatever I want, I don't get bored.
    I don't know why anyone would want anything different?


  • #30
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,278 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    No gf means no sex, no love, no happiness. Just empty days spent drinking.

    Look at all those bitter loser men who sit at the bar all day. That's what happens when you have no woman.

    No woman, no cry.

    To thine own self be true



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  • #31
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Sandor Clegane wrote: »
    They will eventually, usually after having a couple of kids first though, which ties them together forever heaping more misery upon them.

    How come my cat never has such problems?

    The last time I checked he's enviably content. if a little effeminate.


  • #32
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,282 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Finding someone special gives you a greater purpose OP. It can change your entire course of life.

    Sorry, I had to call this out. That's an extremely damaging statement. It may be the case for you, but to tell someone that finding a partner gives you a greater purpose is setting them up for depression. Not everyone is able to find someone, not everyone is confident enough or whatever to be able to find someone. Telling them that it gives a greater purpose is like telling a terminally ill child with 2 weeks to live that the new theme park being built next year will be awesome.

    OP, i'm not one for advice on finding someone, indeed others are trying to help me in another thread, but the single life ain't all that bad if you think about it. Surely you can see the couples every day, at work or in public/on a night out. Have a good look at them, and you'll see the cracks in these seemingly perfect relationships. They have their downsides too!

    I'm lucky, I have 3 brothers and a sister to remind me of the hard times in relationships!


  • #33
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    iamtony wrote: »
    If only it was that easy. Breaking up would involve making her and my kids homeless. Anyways she bleedin great in the sac. Like I mean crazy lady level of great:)
    "Honestly mate get a fat chick or an ugly chick or an ugly fat chick. Bonus points if they are foreign and like to look after their men. 
    My missus if good looking but I'd trade her for an ugly bird who doesn't expect too much from me and life in general of I'm being honest" - what a thing to say about the mother of your children... and the attitude to women you display before it.

    Some ****ed up attitudes towards women here at times. Only a minority, and I certainly don't blame all men (which would be stupid of me) but it's a bit disturbing.


  • #34
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    bubblypop wrote: »
    Not true at all!
    My life is good, all the time, I am happy.
    I can do whatever I want, I don't get bored.
    I don't know why anyone would want anything different?

    Maybe I worded it wrong bit what I was aiming at was happyness comes from within and appeiciating the good things we already have.


  • #35
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I would hate to be the woman held responsible for solving all of the the OPs problems and expected to provide him with all the keys to his own happiness.


  • #36
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Potential-Monke wrote: »
    Sorry, I had to call this out. That's an extremely damaging statement. It may be the case for you, but to tell someone that finding a partner gives you a greater purpose is setting them up for depression. Not everyone is able to find someone, not everyone is confident enough or whatever to be able to find someone. Telling them that it gives a greater purpose is like telling a terminally ill child with 2 weeks to live that the new theme park being built next year will be awesome.

    OP, i'm not one for advice on finding someone, indeed others are trying to help me in another thread, but the single life ain't all that bad if you think about it. Surely you can see the couples every day, at work or in public/on a night out. Have a good look at them, and you'll see the cracks in these seemingly perfect relationships. They have their downsides too!

    I'm lucky, I have 3 brothers and a sister to remind me of the hard times in relationships!
    Yeah I didn't see anything helpful in antigravity2's post - it was essentially "yeah sucks to be you". Maybe they didn't read the opening post properly.


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  • #37
    iamtony
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,801 ✭✭✭iamtony


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    "Honestly mate get a fat chick or an ugly chick or an ugly fat chick. Bonus points if they are foreign and like to look after their men. 
    My missus if good looking but I'd trade her for an ugly bird who doesn't expect too much from me and life in general of I'm being honest" - what a thing to say about the mother of your children... and the attitude to women you display before it.

    Some ****ed up attitudes towards women here at times. Only a minority, and I certainly don't blame all men (which would be stupid of me) but it's a bit disturbing.

    It's after hours and I'm tryin to help a brother out keep your opinions to yourself;) P.s I really love my women


  • #38
    EL_Loco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 901 ✭✭✭EL_Loco


    my unqualified 2 cent:

    ugly? grow a beard.
    buy some nice clothes, a bit shallow but there you have it.
    Don't over reach, if you're trying to score a home run on first meeting a woman in a bar might be a stretch.
    Don't be all about scoring if you're chatting someone up. Make it a neutral conversation and if it's going well maybe try a flirt or 2.
    I've read some pick up artist pieces, not for me but the only "tip" I took from it all was if you catch someone's eye, don't stand there all night, looking back and forth at each other, just head over.
    Personally, because I'm no Casanova, an early failure in the evening is quite liberating, just laugh at yourself if it was a stinker, you'll feel better for at least trying.
    I genuinely wish you all the best.


  • #39
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    iamtony wrote: »
    It's after hours and I'm tryin to help a brother out keep your opinions to yourself;) P.s I really love my women
    Keep my opinions to myself on a discussion forum but you get to voice your opinions? How on earth does that work?
    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Yeah well not all men get to live a life of sex and parties and fun. Those of us on the outside looking in get warped.

    Imagine if no man ever showed interest in you? You'd be just as bad.
    That doesn't really have a bearing on what you're replying to though. And I never said all men get to live a life of sex and parties and fun. My post was in response to the guy who actually is in a relationship. Those here with ****ed up attitudes to women are not always single (it's even worse to have that attitude if they're in a relationship imo).

    Being unlucky with women though is absolutely no excuse to condemn all women (same in the case of being unlucky with men obviously - stupid and spiteful in both cases).


  • #40
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    I go out alone 3 times a week to meet women but no joy.

    How does that work? I mean, it (obviously) hasn't been working, but... how do you go about it? How do the women you meet react to being approached by some guy on his own? Do you think you might have more luck if you had friends to go out with? Or if you had some hobbies?

    Even if you do somehow get a girlfriend by doing what you're doing, it might be good to also have friends and hobbies/interests that don't necessarily involve her. Otherwise, it could become a very intense relationship where you're too dependent on her (or if you end up with someone similar, too dependent on each other).

    It's obviously not what you want to be told, but there might be lots of stuff that you need to work on/deal with before you can even consider sharing your life with someone.

    You paint a bleak picture of yourself.


  • #41
    ardinn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    Learn to jive, waltz and quickstep - classes are brilliant fun, you dont need a partner, and you will meet 100 people on your first night and 500 at your first gig. It truly is the way forward for you!

    Pm me where you are ill put you in touch with the best instructor.
    images.jpg
    http://slaneyfishing.com




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  • #42
    Das Reich
    Registered Users Posts: 736 ✭✭✭Das Reich


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Before the war I was honestly thinking of going to Ukraine to buy a wife. Downside would be I'd have to move there. If I brought her home she'd divorce me.

    There are also other countries to buy a wife. When I was single I had many contacts with light skinned muslim girls, from Turkey, Morocco, Iran etc... They would all be happy to leave their country, at the beggining they would say the man should be muslim and bla bla bla. I am atheist and Catholic by birth but would avoid western women, specially from those Eastern European countries. Had sex few times with married women from those countries and some friends of me also had. Women from my country (Brazil) are even worse. Muslim women instead are more family oriented.


  • #43
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭stoneill


    Bullet To The Head? wrote: »
    Before the war I was honestly thinking of going to Ukraine to buy a wife. Downside would be I'd have to move there. If I brought her home she'd divorce me.

    Is that you grandad?


  • #44
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Seriously OP, enjoy it, I'd love to be single and have no responsibilities again.

    Best part of life - you can do what you want to do, when you want to do it.


  • #45
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,202 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    RacoonQueen wrote: »
    Have you tried asking a woman you're interested out on a date?
    I think he means he simply doesn't have enough personal time for a personal life and its getting to his well being.

    Its like when people don't have enough family time etc.


  • #46
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm stuck in a very similar hell op..


  • #47
    California Dreamer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,609 ✭✭✭California Dreamer


    https://m.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=111558522#post111558522

    This thread FTW


  • #48
    Cina
    Registered Users Posts: 2,388 ✭✭✭Cina


    I was single from the age of 27-30 - in a great relationship right now and whilst there's no doubt that overall it's made me a happier person to have a companion, there were plenty of things I did in those three years that kept me going and helped me enjoy them.

    For me the best thing you can do is some travelling, do it alone if you have to, there's nothing wrong with it, chances are if you go to SE Asia or South America you'll meet loads of like minded folks and make friends pretty quickly, it's a really rewarding experience. If you're nervous about going alone, try a group trip to start, something like Contiki. Also, the foreign lassies absolutely love the Irish, I'm far from a beautiful man myself but I did pretty great on the hols and travels, all in all.


  • #49
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,408 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Das Reich wrote: »
    There are also other countries to buy a wife. When I was single I had many contacts with light skinned muslim girls, from Turkey, Morocco, Iran etc... They would all be happy to leave their country, at the beggining they would say the man should be muslim and bla bla bla. I am atheist and Catholic by birth but would avoid western women, specially from those Eastern European countries. Had sex few times with married women from those countries and some friends of me also had. Women from my country (Brazil) are even worse. Muslim women instead are more family oriented.

    Light skinned? Yeah, your name checks out...


  • #50
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Light skinned? Yeah, your name checks out...
    Hilarious post. Even though he's Brazilian, I read it in Borat's voice. :D


  • #51
    _Brian
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,618 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    Have to be honest if OP can’t forge a life where he can be happy he is just going to inflict his misery onto any person he hooks up with.

    Couples aren’t just there because two people were miserable and wanted to be happy, the best couples are a meeting of two happy fulfilled people meeting and wanting to share that with someone else.

    Make some changes.
    Get out and do something that you enjoy or try some new things you might enjoy.
    Meet new people, learn a skill, anything to break the hum-drum of your current life.


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