Is boss unreasonable?

indie warrior · 22-03-2021 11:54pm #1

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

JustAThought · 22-03-2021 11:59pm

Sympathies - it sounds highly stressful.
Hope things are better for the person in the ambulance now.

I sympathise but you already knew they were difficult and micromanagers.

Why didn’t you ring them - you rang two others?

My guess it was because you feared they would tell you not to go and you already knew you were
going... better to ask forgiveness than permission kind of thing.

Maybe the boss felt messed with that you told two presumably less senior staff and s/he hd to find out from someone else- which they clearly did.

You’ve been nicely told now in a friendly and convivial way - so leave it at that and don’t make things worse.

Question remains - you told 20% of the rest of the team - why didn’t you tell your boss?

He probably feels the same way but thinks its been closed and dealt with now - I’d leave it there.

Markus Antonius · 23-03-2021 12:16am

indie warrior wrote: »

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

That comment of coming in on Thursday would have been a deal breaker for me. He set a bar at that moment and now knows how far he can push.

And boy is he pushing it.

Jaysci20 · 23-03-2021 12:28am

He sounds like a horrible boss - the recent comment with his petty gripe about who you phoned and the previous comment at your father's wake. Despicable. I wouldn't tolerate that. I'd let him know in no uncertain terms what I thought of him and his poor attitude, and I'd also be planning my exit in the background by looking at what else is available out there.

beauf · 23-03-2021 12:38am

indie warrior wrote: »

...Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, ...

There's your answer right there.

But you should know this already.

Quantum Erasure · 23-03-2021 12:48am

He asked you if it ever happens again, give him a call... So, what's the issue?

Rodin · 23-03-2021 12:51am

indie warrior wrote: »

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

Boss sounds like a xxxx.
I'd quit.

Larbre34 · 23-03-2021 12:54am

You're not overreacting, he is being unreasonable, its insulting after long years of good service.

Also, he owns the place. What do you envisage, an apology from him? Do you intend to pursue his unreasonableness with him and to what end?

As with all these situations, the question becomes, are you on balance happy continuing to work there? Can you get another, better job with your extensive experience and would it be an improvement on where you are now?

This will never be a relationship of equals.

jimmycrackcorm · 23-03-2021 12:57am

indie warrior wrote:

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

What is your problem?
All your boss said is that if you have to dash off suddenly, that you should have rang him to let you know?

You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder, when this is standard practice in all jobs to let your manager know that you have to leave work suddenly.

I don't even understand what your gripe is except you seem to have a grudge about the time you had a bereavement what had that to do with the simple normal thing to do that if you need to leave your work, that you should inform your manager.

Why did you not call him, when you took time to tell your work colleagues...?

JustAThought · 23-03-2021 1:06am

Larbre34 wrote: »

You're not overreacting, he is being unreasonable, its insulting after long years of good service.

Also, he owns the place. What do you envisage, an apology from him? Do you intend to pursue his unreasonableness with him and to what end?

As with all these situations, the question becomes, are you on balance happy continuing to work there? Can you get another, better job with your extensive experience and would it be an improvement on where you are now?

This will never be a relationship of equals.

No - nor is it. The OP is a employee albeit a long standing one of the business owner - he is not a co- director nor a part owner partner nor does he own a share of the company. The owner takes all the financial risks and pays him a salary regardless of how the companies finances are.

Sense of self entitlement in this comment is shocking really.

OP was asked to let the owner know next time he takes off - and didn’t take him to task over being stressed and brisk with him on the phone nor refusing to take the time to explain - despite the OP ringing two other junior colleagues and discussing it at length with them: whom the boss had to hear about his absence second from - and came away no better off having rung the OP directly.

Seems the owner dealt with it sensitively and compassionately yet gave a firm directive - next time - call me. No problem there. OP is an employee and despite his long years there needs to see this - he reports upwards, not across.

He will have the same reporting structure - or worse - no matter where he works unless he wants to underwrite all the costs and risks of
opening his own business and paying a staff. And he will not get paid if he does not work - unlike I guess that day when he probably still was paid in full despite his emergency?

beauf · 23-03-2021 1:06am

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

....
Why did you not call him, when you took time to tell your work colleagues...?

Because they were there and available and the boss wasn't.

So often micro managers can't delegate. So they paralyse their team as a result. A boss should not need to micro manage some one of this seniority and experience.

kippy · 23-03-2021 1:08am

Everyone will have a different take on this.
Weigh up your own take.
The pros and cons, make a decision, adjust your expectations/behaviour/seek an exit or simply carry on as is and forget about it.

Augme · 23-03-2021 1:09am

This is what happens when you work for a controlling micro-manager.

JustAThought · 23-03-2021 1:11am

beauf wrote: »

Because they were there and available and the boss wasn't.

They wern’t - he hd to
ring them. Thats the point. So why didn’t
he also/just ring his boss. He’d already made 2 calls.

beauf · 23-03-2021 1:16am

JustAThought wrote: »

They wern’t - he hd to
ring them. Thats the point. So why didn’t
he also/just ring his boss. He’d already made 2 calls.

WFH home is the same as being there.

But I can see the road you're going down.

con___manx1 · 23-03-2021 1:28am

Your boss hasn't got an ounce of empathy. Can't stand people like that.
Call your boss for a meeting and let him know that you think he is an insensitive prick. Maybe not in those exact words. Also tell him your family comes first before any job. Ask him what he would do if it was one of his family members? Remind him you have missed very little time in ten years and you really don't appreciate his bull**** to add to a stressful situation
He is only your boss. Not some sort of god. He can't fire you for that. I'm sure he won't want to pay you ten years redundancy either.
He could actually have more respect for you. Sounds like a ruthless person out for himself dickhead to me

Mrs OBumble · 23-03-2021 1:42am

con___manx1 wrote: »

Your boss hasn't got an ounce of empathy. Can't stand people like that.
... Sounds like a ruthless person out for himself dickhead to me

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in on Thursday after a Monday funeral: three days bereavement leave is pretty standard in companies that offer it. If you need more, then calling in with a sick-cert three days later would be the expected.

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

Strumms · 23-03-2021 1:59am

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in o

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

He could have worded it nicer ? What he actually should have done was word it professionally... a businessman ? If he’s a manager his prime responsibility to his staff is as a leader... good leaders lead by showing good example and respect he didn’t and failed the leadership test...flunked it...

He wouldn’t want their customers spoken to like that, therefore he needs to watch his mouth as regards how he speaks to staff... it’s careless, unprofessional, unpleasant and not in the character of quality leadership... must do better.

beauf · 23-03-2021 2:06am

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected....

In an emergency that's not unexpected. Especially when it's flawed procedure.

But equally if you work for somebody or someplace that requires strict adherence to rules you can hardly be surprised when they pull you up over it.

the_syco · 23-03-2021 2:10am

indie warrior wrote: »

Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

indie warrior wrote: »

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

You'll get this with small firms. The boss will only see his business suffer if you're not grinding away, but if tables were turned he'd question your empathy if you said likewise.

indie warrior wrote: »

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

IMO, from what you've said, he'd probably have asked you to stay a little bit longer. Did you do wrong? Yes. But would the outcome have been any different? I doubt it.

Look for another job, but don't burn your bridges. Get a reference from a fellow colleague, and not your boss.

con___manx1 · 23-03-2021 2:10am

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in on Thursday after a Monday funeral: three days bereavement leave is pretty standard in companies that offer it. If you need more, then calling in with a sick-cert three days later would be the expected.

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

If everyone carried on like his boss the world would just be a wnderfull place.
After 10 years of service the op should be shown more respect than that.
At the end of the day the boss set up the company to line his own pockets.
I'm sure he doest really give a fiddlers about his employees if he talks to them like that.
If he said to me I'd expect to see you in on the Thursday after my dad died I'd of takin a month off just to piss him off the insensitive prick.

JustAThought · 23-03-2021 2:43am

con___manx1 wrote: »

If everyone carried on like his boss the world would just be a wnderfull place.
After 10 years of service the op should be shown more respect than that.
At the end of the day the boss set up the company to line his own pockets.
I'm sure he doest really give a fiddlers about his employees if he talks to them like that.
If he said to me I'd expect to see you in on the Thursday after my dad died I'd of takin a month off just to piss him off the insensitive prick.

you’d be turfed out and on the dole long before that.

OP was in the wrong. The boss behaved well and managed the situation well. OP would do well to leave it alone and follow the instructions should it happen again. He knows its a family business and the owner likes to micromanage his affairs - no change in that status for this recent event either.

Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

road_high · 23-03-2021 2:43am

Those small family run businesses are always a fcukin nightmare. They look for the past drop of blood, like to manage and “observe” everything via other family members.
Wouldn’t work in one for double my salary (not that that would happen, they’re always ****e payers as well). See they’re your manager as well as “the boss” and staff are viewed as an expense to be not trusted and get the maximum from

JustAThought · 23-03-2021 2:44am

road_high wrote: »

Those small family run businesses are always a fcukin nightmare. They look for the past drop of blood, like to manage and “observe” everything via other family members.
Wouldn’t work in one for double my salary (not that that would happen, they’re always ****e payers as well). See they’re your manager as well as “the boss” and staff are viewed as an expense to be not trusted and get the maximum from

same as multinationals do.

road_high · 23-03-2021 2:48am

JustAThought wrote: »

same as multinationals do.

Not in my experience and have worked in a few. Things are a lot more equalitarian as at the end of the day my line manager is just an employee too

beauf · 23-03-2021 3:11am

Happens in small family run businesses more often. But it happens in multinationals also. Just down the personality of the person.

JustAThought · 23-03-2021 3:12am

road_high wrote: »

Not in my experience and have worked in a few. Things are a lot more equalitarian as at the end of the day my line manager is just an employee too

Maybe - but s/he still will most likely look after their own back first and cover themselves for their boss if anything went wrong with how you behaved - and if the * hit the fan they would elect to get rid of you as soon as they wanted or needed to.

con___manx1 · 23-03-2021 3:31am

JustAThought wrote: »

you’d be turfed out and on the dole long before that.

OP was in the wrong. The boss behaved well and managed the situation well. OP would do well to leave it alone and follow the instructions should it happen again. He knows its a family business and the owner likes to micromanage his affairs - no change in that status for this recent event either.

Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

If I was there 10 years like the op I wouldn't be sacked.
I'm guessing you think it's OK what the boss said to the op after his father died?

A good boss leads by showing good example and respect he didn’t and failed the leadership test..
Do you think his boss would like the op to disrespect his customers like that?
I'm sure the op wasn't in their right mind that day worrying about their family member. His boss should understand this or maybe he just doesn't give a ****.
Face facts his boss is a tosser.

beauf · 23-03-2021 3:34am

JustAThought wrote: »

...
Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

Its classic micro-management. Not trusting a senior person with 10 yrs experience and service to make decisions or delegate. Especially in the context.

dogbert27 · 23-03-2021 5:59am

beauf wrote: »

Its classic micro-management. Not trusting a senior person with 10 yrs experience and service to make decisions or delegate. Especially in the context.

It might not be the case that the boss didn't trust the OP to make decisions or delegate but that he didn't trust the two employees who are more junior to the OP to do the work correctly and would have liked the opportunity to "micro-manage" those two employees.

The OP hasn't said what his job description is either so it could be the case that in a time of emergency he may not have been making the best decisions in his delegating for the tasks needed.

23-03-2021 7:51am

I think all employees should be allowed to leave whenever they want, for whatever reason they want, tell whomever they want, as long as it isn’t the person they are supposed to. Problem solved.

paw patrol · 23-03-2021 9:54am

some of the posters here are weird as fcuk
somebody close to the OP was in an ambulance.
all niceties and protocol are off the table.

the boss is a d1ck and should be called out on it.

facehugger99 · 23-03-2021 9:57am

You boss is probably a sociopath and certainly an arsehole.

I would tell him that if anything similar happens, the absolute lowest priority for you will be calling him up to tell him you're heading to the hospital.

Let him have a think about that for a while.

In the meantime, I'd be looking for alternative employment - life is too short to spend working for an arsehole.

23-03-2021 9:58am

paw patrol wrote: »

some of the posters here are weird as fcuk
somebody close to the OP was in an ambulance.
all niceties and protocol are off the table.

the boss is a d1ck and should be called out on it.

A fair point, if it wasn’t for the fact that the op had time to phone two people to let them know he/she was leaving, but not his/her boss. Kinda negates the nicety/protocol argument.

JeffKenna · 23-03-2021 9:59am

paw patrol wrote: »

some of the posters here are weird as fcuk
somebody close to the OP was in an ambulance.
all niceties and protocol are off the table.

the boss is a d1ck and should be called out on it.

The problem I see is that the OP rang two other colleagues. For such an emergency just go and ring the manager from the hospital.

dogbert27 · 23-03-2021 10:10am

JeffKenna wrote: »

The problem I see is that the OP rang two other colleagues. For such an emergency just go and ring the manager from the hospital.

The OP also said that roll on Monday the boss came to them and nicely asked how things were.

It could just be the OP being over sensitive due to past experience. They don't say if the boss was still talking nicely to them when requesting being the first to be contacted.

screamer · 23-03-2021 10:15am

Not at all. I’m no micro manager and I don’t own the company, but I’ve had to have the same conversation with people. The company policy is what it is and that’s all. It’s nothing personal. Of course I’ve never docked their wages or asked for the time off to be worked back, but I do expect a call so that I know the status and can do some contingency planning.

paw patrol · 23-03-2021 10:16am

Dav010 wrote: »

A fair point, if it wasn’t for the fact that the op had time to phone two people to let them know he/she was leaving, but not his/her boss. Kinda negates the nicety/protocol argument.

JeffKenna wrote: »

The problem I see is that the OP rang two other colleagues. For such an emergency just go and ring the manager from the hospital.

i see the argument.
it was an emergency (and who acts perfect in times of emergency???) .The boss is probably annoyed that protocol wasn't followed - I get it. But the emergency will supersede his feelings always. As it should.

He sounds like a d1ckhead looking to extract his pound of flesh during a difficult time for one of his employees. And the boss is unwilling - cos he isn't unable- to consider that maybe the hospital took precedent over his ego or his precious business.

I used to have staff - I've come back to an empty desk before. Annoying.
But in the grand scheme some things are more important than petty management issues. Unless you're a d1ck.

More importantly it doesn't really matter if the OP or the boss was correct.
The boss doesn't value the OP , that's clear.

screamer · 23-03-2021 10:18am

paw patrol wrote: »

i see the argument.
it was an emergency (and who acts perfect in times of emergency???) .The boss is probably annoyed that protocol wasn't followed - I get it. But the emergency will supersede his feelings always. As it should.

He sounds like a d1ckhead looking to extract his pound of flesh during a difficult time for one of his employees. And the boss is unwilling - cos he isn't unable- to consider that maybe the hospital took precedent over his ego or his precious business.

I used to have staff - I've come back to an empty desk before. Annoying.
But in the grand scheme some things are more important than petty management issues. Unless you're a d1ck.

More importantly it doesn't really matter if the OP or the boss was correct.
The boss doesn't value the OP , that's clear.

You’re reading a lot into this that frankly isn’t there

rock22 · 23-03-2021 10:24am

paw patrol wrote: »

i see the argument.
it was an emergency (and who acts perfect in times of emergency???) .The boss is probably annoyed that protocol wasn't followed - I get it. But the emergency will supersede his feelings always. As it should.

He sounds like a d1ckhead looking to extract his pound of flesh during a difficult time for one of his employees. And the boss is unwilling - cos he isn't unable- to consider that maybe the hospital took precedent over his ego or his precious business.

I used to have staff - I've come back to an empty desk before. Annoying.
But in the grand scheme some things are more important than petty management issues. Unless you're a d1ck.

More importantly it doesn't really matter if the OP or the boss was correct.
The boss doesn't value the OP , that's clear.

He asked, in future, that he be informed. According to the OP in a nice pleasant manner.

Not sure how you come to that conclusion. We have no idea what happened in the OP's absence. Perhaps if the boss knew the OP needed to leave then he, the boss, would have gone to the workplace. Perhaps clients were trying to contact the workplace and boss found out from a client that no one could deal with him. There are all sorts of reasons why the boss might want to know who is at the workplace. We don't know.

The boss had no problems with the OP leaving, never suggested docking pay or any other sanctions. He simply asked that he be informed in future. It all seems perfectly reasonable to me.

23-03-2021 10:37am

paw patrol wrote: »

The boss is probably annoyed that protocol wasn't followed - I get it.

The boss doesn't value the OP , that's clear.

You’ve just pretty much made all this up. The op said he was nice during the conversation on Monday and said at the end that the op should really have called him to let him know he/she had to leave.

How this makes him a bad person/manager, is not clear to others as it appears to be to you.

pwurple · 23-03-2021 10:38am

paw patrol wrote: »

The boss doesn't value the OP , that's clear.

I read this as the complete opposite... the boss highly values the OP, and feels the absence acutely.

OP, let this one go. The boss isn't technically wrong here, just not getting the nuance or timing of the comment right. He said it in private, and was perfectly nice. No public humiliation or reprimand. You're reacting to tone rather than content, and you are under personal stress on top.

Hope your family emergency is ok now.

SAMTALK · 23-03-2021 11:02am

indie warrior wrote: »

OP here, just to say that when I got emergency call, I basically dialled an internal number to tell colleague, the other colleague who is there 20 years was at a desk which i passed on way to door, he was on a call after I basically shouted to him what happened as I was running out door
TBH I wasn't even thinking of boss at time, I was frantic not knowing if my mum was alive or dead, there isn't a said protocol, if you are off sick which rarely ever happens you are supposed to contact office, he is just adding new protocol here that it had to be him to be contacted now

I did send an email to him on Tue morning for the record and for my file, laying out the time line of what happened and saying that I thought that under the circumstances I felt I had covered all my bases to keep company unaffected and that I was sorry he felt that I was short with him when he rang although I was following an ambulance at the time and I wasn't considering his feelings

The beravement point I made was to show what type of person they are. Shortly after I started working there about 12 years ago he clicked his fingers at me while calling me. I must say I almost lost the plot that day and told him under no circumstances never to click his fingers at me again, which he didnt
He is a bully, I have seen the way he treats and talks to people

I guess I will just have to weigh things up myself, I like my job, he pays me well ( albeit I would never have got any pay rises only I pushed for them, min of everything else as in 20 days hols, 30 min lunch breaks, no sick pay, no healthcover etc

Thanks for all comments it was interesting to read both sides of the coin

Hi OP , this sounds exactly like where I work. Family business but not one ounce of compassion for anyone

I have seen people in work who had family on their death bed and they still had to come to work down to the last minute and miss out on precious time
Anything out of the ordinary is just seen as an inconvenience for them . They don't get that life sometimes throws you a curve ball and work is not your top priority in some cases .

C3PO · 23-03-2021 11:38am

indie warrior wrote: »

I guess I will just have to weigh things up myself, I like my job, he pays me well ( albeit I would never have got any pay rises only I pushed for them, min of everything else as in 20 days hols, 30 min lunch breaks, no sick pay, no healthcover etc

I was on your bosses side up until this point - to my mind, 20 days holidays and no sick pay after 12 years is not something I would put up with! I would sit down with him, explain your issues and at the same time start to look around and see what alternatives are available to you. Worth bearing in mind that as time passes it becomes more difficult to move!

beauf · 23-03-2021 11:40am

dogbert27 wrote: »

It might not be the case that the boss didn't trust the OP to make decisions or delegate but that he didn't trust the two employees who are more junior to the OP to do the work correctly and would have liked the opportunity to "micro-manage" those two employees.

The OP hasn't said what his job description is either so it could be the case that in a time of emergency he may not have been making the best decisions in his delegating for the tasks needed.

... that is all micro management.

On its own with a new team and/or experienced staff, or where there a known issue, and on normal day fair enough. Not in the context of experienced people in an emergency, especially where there no work issue. It's irrational.

https://youtu.be/g0L-ry0jn6I

Batattackrat · 23-03-2021 12:01pm

Boss isn't been unreasonable to be honest.

Same happened to me before and dropped my boss an email which took 30 seconds and bolted out the door and rang when I was on my way to hospital.

Didn't bother call immediately in case I didn't get through.

fryup · 23-03-2021 12:06pm

don't do anything harsh OP, esp if you're in the middle of paying off a mortgage or like

cause things aren't rosey in the jobs garden at the moment, a lot out of work out there

Mellor · 23-03-2021 12:24pm

indie warrior wrote: »

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

Sounds like you are over-reacting tbh.
I don't other events, of the amount of days you missed is relevant.

There was an emergency. That's fine. Perfectly acceptable.
You told somebody in the office with you. also acceptable.
You didn't tell you boss because he wasn't there.
But you told somebody else who wasn't there. Begs the question why you didn't try the boss. Or even a text or email and you're golden.
If you tried and got no answer, you'd also be fine.

But purposely avoiding him seems like at attempt to avoid him and go (as you know it's justified).

His "just let me know in future" is reasonable. He's you line manager I presume.
Now, if he blew a gasket, he'd be the one out of line.

Larbre34 wrote: »

You're not overreacting, he is being unreasonable, its insulting after long years of good service.

where did he insult the OP. May have missed that. Which changes things.

This will never be a relationship of equals.

Well, if one is the owner with his business on the line, they aren't equals.

beauf wrote: »

Because they were there and available and the boss wasn't.

They weren't there, and it wasn't said that the boss was unavailable.
What is the boss was WFH, or at a meeting?

paw patrol wrote: »

some of the posters here are weird as fcuk
somebody close to the OP was in an ambulance.
all niceties and protocol are off the table.

the boss is a d1ck and should be called out on it.

Nobody has said there was an issue with him bailing or that he needed to ask.
He should of let his manager know - unless he has an existing flexible arrangement.
Even a text would take seconds.

JoChervil · 23-03-2021 12:35pm

I really don’t know what is the problem for OP. His boss was a dickhead for all the time he worked there. He should have dealt with it earlier. Such things always surface in extreme times. If he asserted himself earlier, he would have no problem calling his boss, because he would know, that he would be able to handle this call.

All OP behaviour shows that he was just avoiding his boss in this situation. Not calling his boss or abruptly finishing his call, he assumed that his boss will be a dickhead again. And OP had no time or patience to deal with it at the emergency situation. And he based his assumption on situation which happened 10 years ago, while people change. He didn’t give his boss a chance to not behave like a dickhead. Because his boss might have surprised him. But it was just easier to tell his colleague, what is fully understandable in that situation. And if OP took some time for consideration, that maybe he is a part of the problem, so then he could solve at least his input in it because we sometimes provoke “dickheadness” in others.

If it was me having that conversation with my boss, I would answer: “Thank you for understanding. I will call you next time. I am sure you will support me and help me in such a difficult time”

Instead next morning OP wrote an email to his boss explaining everything and defending his actions, in which way he only weaken his position.

So Op probably came to a point, where he has to decide, if he wants to continue as it is, asserts himself or leaves.

Mimon · 23-03-2021 12:42pm

paw patrol wrote: »

some of the posters here are weird as fcuk
somebody close to the OP was in an ambulance.
all niceties and protocol are off the table.

the boss is a d1ck and should be called out on it.

This, **** who you should call in this situation and **** the work, it's only ****ing work. OP did more than they should by delegating.

Think people in micromanaged places are brainwashed to think this is somehow how people should be managed.

Fionne · 23-03-2021 12:50pm

C3PO wrote: »

I was on your bosses side up until this point - to my mind, 20 days holidays and no sick pay after 12 years is not something I would put up with!

If an employer isn't giving you extra holidays or sick pay on Day 1, they're really not gonna give it just because you've been there longer. I say this as someone almost 22 years working in a family-run business (I wouldn't recommend it) and even though I've probably rung in sick 5 times in all that time, I still get quizzed about what exactly what was wrong with me when I do. I had back surgery about 10 years ago and had to use my holidays for that year to cover the time off or not get paid. That's the beauty of small businesses and especially family-run ones, the loyalty is all expected to go from employee to the company but never vice-versa, in my experience.

I have stuck it out because it's literally 5mins drive from home and I get along well with my colleagues and I had a horrendous experience of a previous job (crying going to work every morning) so I've chosen to put up with it.

I think the OP is probably already unhappy with their job and that's why this event has upset them, maybe it's time to look elsewhere, even making the decision can make work easier as you know you're not gonna be there forever.

Is boss unreasonable?

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