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Mental Health Comments

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  • 10-12-2018 10:46pm
    #1
    Defaulter1831
    Registered Users Posts: 721 ✭✭✭


    A group of 30 of us were in a hotel at a work training day last week. Most of the topics concerned work issues and the ‘usuals’ like Health and Safety. The last session was a fun one, a bit like a kid’s arts and crafts. A lot of us were giggling a bit, myself included. One lady, a work colleague, one of about half who didn’t take part says in a loud sarky tone looking at me ‘would you look at the big child’. I carried on.

    Next day in the work canteen we were talking about the fact that animals see in black and white and also dogs and horses. I don’t know how the conversation took that turn. I said yes when you see yourself in a dog’s eyes the shading is amazing. Said lady goes ‘looking into dogs eyes, you need to be fcuking locked up’ in her gruff manner. I have mental health problems from time to time she’d know about. Felt upset and angry, naturally. I work opposite her and I put little talk on her but she was narky all day.

    This is way out of line. I know I should say something to her but not very well myself energywise at the moment. Just going from day to day.


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    #2
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    You should say something to her.

    Is this what you're asking us? Should you say something to her? Or do you need help figuring out the best way to say it?


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    #3
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Does she only say this nasty stuff to you, or is she ****ty to everyone?


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    #4
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,486 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    Defaulter1831 wrote: »
    A group of 30 of us were in a hotel at a work training day last week. Most of the topics concerned work issues and the ‘usuals’ like Health and Safety. The last session was a fun one, a bit like a kid’s arts and crafts. A lot of us were giggling a bit, myself included. One lady, a work colleague, one of about half who didn’t take part says in a loud sarky tone looking at me ‘would you look at the big child’. I carried on.

    Next day in the work canteen we were talking about the fact that animals see in black and white and also dogs and horses. I don’t know how the conversation took that turn. I said yes when you see yourself in a dog’s eyes the shading is amazing. Said lady goes ‘looking into dogs eyes, you need to be fcuking locked up’ in her gruff manner. I have mental health problems from time to time she’d know about. Felt upset and angry, naturally. I work opposite her and I put little talk on her but she was narky all day.

    This is way out of line. I know I should say something to her but not very well myself energywise at the moment. Just going from day to day.

    Pass her bye.
    For all you know she could be fighting her own health demons,


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    #5
    happyoutscan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,973 ✭✭✭happyoutscan


    _Brian wrote: »
    Pass her bye.
    For all you know she could be fighting her own health demons,

    I'd guess from the sound of her she's only a c*nt.


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    #6
    Foweva Awone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Meh. As someone with substantial mental health issues myself, I can't say I'd take either comment personally. Her words are a reflection of who she is, she's probably not very comfortable or secure in herself.

    Personally I don't think it warrants a complaint or any further action, maybe just keep your distance from her.


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    #7
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    She just sounds like a not very nice person, and definitely someone to be avoided where possible.

    I don't see what it has to do with your mental health though, in all honesty. She's being an assh*le, but she isn't specifically targeting you because of your mental health issues, or using them against you.
    She's just being an assh*le and I don't think it goes much deeper than that.


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    #8
    Keyzer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Keyzer


    Its this simple - avoid and ignore her at all costs unless you have to speak to her on work related topics.

    I worked with a someone a few years ago who I thought was sound to begin with but turned out to be a toxic individual and I gave them way too many chances. Enough was enough and I blanked them for the rest of my tenure in the organisation other than a polite hello/goodbye.


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    #9
    EarlyStorms
    Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭EarlyStorms


    She sounds like a nasty piece of work, the child comment is nothing in isolation but the 2nd incident is a bad one. Has she been insulting you like that on a regular basis? She sounds like she's trouble, I'd imagine the last section is delighted she was moved. Document her bullying behaviour towards you sounds like you'll need it later.


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    #10
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    I think I would handle it this way:

    Document the times she has been rude to you. For example:

    10/12/2018, 13:15 - Mary said the following to me which we were sitting together in the kitchen: "X Y Z".

    I would also start trying to avoid being around her (although you need to be careful she doesn't think you're blanking her or something like that). So if she then starts seeking you out to be mean, I would document that too. And for me that would be the right time to take the next step:

    I would have a 1 on 1 with her in a meeting room and explain my feelings on the matter and politely ask her to stop with the comments.

    I would document the meeting.

    Hopefully that would be the end of it.

    If she continues being nasty, I would escalate to my manager and give my manager the evidence document.

    It will help your case if you don't immediately run to HR. It will show you're a mature person who tried to handle it in a reasonable.way.

    I agree with the other posters that's she's likely a very unhappy person.


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    #11
    B-D-P--
    Registered Users Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭B-D-P--


    A simple reply with "I don't appreciate that comment"

    Professional, Strong and to the point?
    I've done it before.
    Gotten immediate apologies and it doesn't become an issue.


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    #12
    Lux23
    Registered Users Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    B-D-P-- wrote: »
    A simple reply with "I don't appreciate that comment"

    Professional, Strong and to the point?
    I've done it before.
    Gotten immediate apologies and it doesn't become an issue.

    Which is fine if you say it straight away, it doesn't work when you're literally struck dumb and the conversation moves on.


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    #13
    B-D-P--
    Registered Users Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭B-D-P--


    Lux23 wrote: »
    Which is fine if you say it straight away, it doesn't work when you're literally struck dumb and the conversation moves on.

    Keep in in memory when talking to this person next..
    Cant be struck dumb if your ready


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    #14
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I find with these kinds of people a simple “sorry, could you repeat that?” is usually enough to embarrass them into shutting their mouths in future


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