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One nights stands

124678

Comments

  • #152
    Kev W
    Registered Users Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    You're saying that having sex with multiple people you've just met is not dangerous if you are responsible about it? What do you mean responsible? Trying to take care of your own sexual healthy with condoms?

    Women especially open themselves up to STI's/Pregnancy/Physical, mental and sexual abuse in these situations. Not healthy by any means.

    Yes, I mean using protection.

    Sorry, I forgot about how emotionally weak women are. Lovely, silly, fragile creatures.

    Seriously, you open yourself up to all of those things by entering a relationship too. Are relationships unhealthy now?


  • #153
    Kev W
    Registered Users Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    Ughh wrote: »
    I wasn't talking about contraception?

    What were you talking about then?

    And to answer your question, "responsible" means not taking unnecessary risks. What do you think it means?


  • #154
    VisibleGorilla
    Registered Users Posts: 390 ✭✭VisibleGorilla


    Kev W wrote: »
    Seriously, you open yourself up to all of those things by entering a relationship too. Are relationships unhealthy now?
    How can you possibly compare an exclusive relationship to multiple ons with multiple partners?!?

    Chalk and cheese.


  • #155
    Kev W
    Registered Users Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    How can you possibly compare an exclusive relationship to multiple ons with multiple partners?!?

    Chalk and cheese.

    In both cases, one opens themselves up to "STI's/Pregnancy/Physical, mental and sexual abuse" as you claim one does with ONS. Or do those things not happen in relationships?


  • #156
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    You're saying that having sex with multiple people you've just met is not dangerous if you are responsible about it? What do you mean responsible? Trying to take care of your own sexual health with condoms?

    Women especially open themselves up to STI's/Pregnancy/Physical, mental and sexual abuse in these situations. Not healthy by any means.

    Women risk physical, mental and sexual abuse simply by being women - not by having causal sex.

    I could walk down the road and have verbal abuse slung at me. Hell, I get it in work semi-regularly from irate customers.

    Sexual assault can happen absolutely anywhere. Same with physical assault.


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  • #157
    VisibleGorilla
    Registered Users Posts: 390 ✭✭VisibleGorilla


    Kev W wrote: »
    In both cases, one opens themselves up to "STI's/Pregnancy/Physical, mental and sexual abuse" as you claim one does with ONS. Or do those things not happen in relationships?
    Very true.

    Actually made me think, I mean nearly all forms of abuse are done by those closest to you. Person most likely to kill you is your spouse. 90% of all sexual assaults are by family/friends etc so perhaps it isn't as dangerous as I thought.

    Again these are just my views, and I don't see one night of sex with multiple people you just met as healthy, either physically or mentally.


  • #158
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    Very true.

    Actually made me think, I mean nearly all forms of abuse are done by those closest to you. Person most likely to kill you is your spouse. 90% of all sexual assaults are by family/friends etc so perhaps it isn't as dangerous as I thought.

    Again these are just my views, and I don't see one night of sex with multiple people you just met as healthy, either physically or mentally.

    A ride between two consenting adults is always healthy.


  • #159
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,964 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    frostyjacks wrote: »
    If a girl doesn't know who the village bike is, it's probably herself.

    Don't overdose on those red pills, I heard that results in unsightly facial hair.


  • #160
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    A ride between two consenting adults is always healthy.

    Even if one has HIV and the other doesn't and there's no protection involved?


  • #161
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,911 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Sexual assault can happen absolutely anywhere. Same with physical assault.

    Plus women are multiple times more likely to be assaulted by a partner, friend or ex than by a stranger.

    But hey, let's not let the facts get in the way of a nice bit of slut shaming...


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  • #162
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    the evasion_kid wrote: »
    Even if one has HIV and the other doesn't and there's no protection involved?


    You realise scare tactics don't really work don't you?


  • #163
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    You realise scare tactics don't really work don't you?

    Nothing to do with scare tactics I just found your statement slightly ridiculous


  • #164
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    the evasion_kid wrote: »
    Nothing to do with scare tactics I just found your statement slightly ridiculous

    How so?


  • #165
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    the evasion_kid wrote: »
    Even if one has HIV and the other doesn't and there's no protection involved?

    Well, about 341 cases of HIV are diagnosed each year in Ireland (number based on the last few years, from the Dublin aids alliance).

    So multiply that 341 by 34 years (since aids/hiv became prevalent in about 1981), forgetting about people who have since died, and we'd have roughly 11,600 people in Ireland with it. Again, that's rough because the amount of people diagnosed could have been higher or fewer in years gone by.

    Then take into account that the risk of getting HIV through receptive vaginal sex (so, a woman who has sex) is 8 in 10,000 occurences.

    THEN add in that condoms are used in most cases.


    Yeah, seriously low risk.


  • #166
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Well, about 341 cases of HIV are diagnosed each year in Ireland (number based on the last few years, from the Dublin aids alliance).

    So multiply that 341 by 34 years (since aids/hiv became prevalent in about 1981), forgetting about people who have since died, and we'd have roughly 11,600 people in Ireland with it. Again, that's rough because the amount of people diagnosed could have been higher or fewer in years gone by.

    Then take into account that the risk of getting HIV through receptive vaginal sex (so, a woman who has sex) is 8 in 10,000 occurences.

    THEN add in that condoms are used in most cases.

    Yeah, seriously low risk.

    This is true for the straight community in Ireland but recently heard a statistic that if it was from a homophobe I would have dismissed as scare tactics.
    1/8 Gay men in London HIV positive.

    www.standard.co.uk%2Fnews%2Flondon%2Fone-in-eight-gay-men-in-london-has-hiv-official-figures-show-9869378.html&usg=AFQjCNEIptzHaXU1Mug6_1wVShuubXre0A

    www.nat.org.uk%2FHIV-in-the-UK%2FHIV-Statistics%2FLatest-UK-statistics%2FMen-who-have-sex-with-men.aspx&usg=AFQjCNE5CqcZsYem7SBZCljWUtcKSEzMpQ

    While it doesn't effect me and HIV is no longer the death sentence it was statistics like that are pretty scary when you think within that community its similar levels to sub Saharan Africa


  • #167
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    RDM_83 again wrote: »
    This is true for the straight community in Ireland but recently heard a statistic that if it was from a homophobe I would have dismissed as scare tactics.
    1/8 Gay men in London HIV positive.

    www.standard.co.uk%2Fnews%2Flondon%2Fone-in-eight-gay-men-in-london-has-hiv-official-figures-show-9869378.html&usg=AFQjCNEIptzHaXU1Mug6_1wVShuubXre0A

    www.nat.org.uk%2FHIV-in-the-UK%2FHIV-Statistics%2FLatest-UK-statistics%2FMen-who-have-sex-with-men.aspx&usg=AFQjCNE5CqcZsYem7SBZCljWUtcKSEzMpQ

    While it doesn't effect me and HIV is no longer the death sentence it was statistics like that are pretty scary when you think within that community its similar levels to sub Saharan Africa

    Odd. I looked at one of the sites you mentioned in your post - nat.org, and according to it, there are 110,000 people living with HIV. That's not a high amount at all, given the population.

    The numbers I gave are for gay, straight and bisexual people.


  • #168
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Odd. I looked at one of the sites you mentioned in your post - nat.org, and according to it, there are 110,000 people living with HIV. That's not a high amount at all, given the population.

    The numbers I gave are for gay, straight and bisexual people.
    Men who have sex with men (MSM) is a term used to describe gay men, bisexual men and other men who have sex with men. It is estimated that 1 in 17 MSM in the UK has HIV, increasing to 1 in 8 in London (1 in 26 outside of London)
    In 2013, an estimated 43,500 MSM with men were living with HIV in the UK, of whom 18% were unaware of their infection

    People tend to overstate the size of the Gay/MSM community, and within these stats there is a significant geographic skew. I would imagine there is quiet a few gay or bi guys reading this thread, if reading something like that encourages them to be extra careful about their behavior when on a weekend away there that can't be bad.

    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Sexual assault can happen absolutely anywhere. Same with physical assault.


    I will leave this post I thought explained the fallacy of these sorts of statements particularly on this topic (it only seems to get trotted out for rape as a crime though)
    padser wrote: »
    I thought this thread might do well with a nice concrete example. From another AH thread going on right now.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=91269146#post91269146

    For some short context, girl went home with someone she didn't know and got raped.

    The poster below then pulls out the following post (I shortened the post slightly by deleting the lines at the end)




    I think it's a good example of statistics being terribly misused by someone (I think probably out of ignorance rather than a deliberate attempt to mislead although that's not always the case).

    Now I've often heard the point being made that you are most likely to be raped by someone you know. I've no idea whether it's true although I'd imagine so, and for the purpose of this lets assume it is true.

    The generalisation that the poster is drawing from this "statistic" is that because rapes happen more often by someone you know, the girl in this case wasn't increasing her risk factor by going home with a stranger.

    This misses quite a few key points (I'm not going to list them all out, just a few of them)

    1) By definition you spend most of your life with people that you know. So almost anything you care to measure will happen more likely to you by someone you know (I'm more likely to be insulted by someone I know, I'm more likely to be punched by someone I know etc etc)
    2) Assuming for a minute that most rapes happen when you are along with someone, the amount of time you spend alone with people you know dwarfs the amount of time you spend alone with strangers
    3) As a general rule you can't take a very general statistic and apply it to a very specific situation. For example, I might know that the chances of a person in Ireland catching an illness today might be 0.001%. However I can't then decide to sit in a room full of people that have that illness and say "my chances of of catching that disease today are 0.001%" simply because I happen to a member of the population of Ireland and that's the rate for that population.....


  • #169
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    RDM_83 again wrote: »
    This is true for the straight community in Ireland but recently heard a statistic that if it was from a homophobe I would have dismissed as scare tactics.
    1/8 Gay men in London HIV positive.



    While it doesn't effect me and HIV is no longer the death sentence it was statistics like that are pretty scary when you think within that community its similar levels to sub Saharan Africa

    Complete scare tactics! And further to the point i never advocated people have sex without protection. If you think sex between two consenting adults is ridiculous or unhealthy then you have problems.


  • #170
    booooring!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 261 ✭✭booooring!


    Have I travelled back in time to the 80s?


  • #171
    Shrap
    Registered Users Posts: 3,163 ✭✭✭Shrap


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »

    Again these are just my views, and I don't see one night of sex with multiple people you just met as healthy, either physically or mentally.

    Well, I'm not sure I'd go with more than the one fella at a time myself in one night :pac:

    Still wouldn't make it unhealthy, either physically or mentally if you're careful and also totally up for it!

    *only really commented because of how you wrote your post! I imagine it was unintentional though....


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  • #172
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    Complete scare tactics! And further to the point i never advocated people have sex without protection. If you think sex between two consenting adults is ridiculous or unhealthy then you have problems.

    Your using the classic thing of presuming that if somebody highlights a risk they are automatically prudes that can't get laid :rolleyes:

    And anyway its not like anal sex increases the risk of condom failure massively, especially when combined with the users being under the influence of drink and/or drugs, which like it or not is when these encounters initially occur for the majority of people.


  • #173
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,177 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    Complete scare tactics! And further to the point i never advocated people have sex without protection. If you think sex between two consenting adults is ridiculous or unhealthy then you have problems.

    A couple of different countries health boards estimate that 50% of people in their countries carry HPV. A condom is not 100% effective at protecting against that. The more partners you have, the greater the chance of contracting that is AND you may have it and never know. It can lie dormant forever in some people so they just pass it on.


  • #174
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    RDM_83 again wrote: »
    Your using the classic thing of presuming that if somebody highlights a risk they are automatically prudes that can't get laid :rolleyes:

    And anyway its not like anal sex increases the risk of condom failure massively, especially when combined with the users being under the influence of drink and/or drugs, which like it or not is when these encounters initially occur for the majority of people.

    I don't know what your sexual presences are and less i care either but you seem to think projecting your own fears onto people is some sort of therapy for you its not.


    I don't try and police the state all the relevant information is out there for people to educate themselves in such matters. You bring homosexuality into this equation a lot so ill point this out for you....The vast majority do not have HIV.


  • #175
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    Wompa1 wrote: »
    A couple of different countries health boards estimate that 50% of people in their countries carry HPV. A condom is not 100% effective at protecting against that. The more partners you have, the greater the chance of contracting that is AND you may have it and never know. It can lie dormant forever in some people so they just pass it on.

    HPV is no worse than a cold to be honest its very rare it causes lasting or significant damage.

    And besides again for clarity i don't advocate unprotected sex!!!!!!!!!!


  • #176
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    I don't know what your sexual presences are and less i care either but you seem to think projecting your own fears onto people is some sort of therapy for you its not.


    I don't try and police the state all the relevant information is out there for people to educate themselves in such matters. You bring homosexuality into this equation a lot so ill point this out for you....The vast majority do not have HIV.

    :confused:

    There is nothing repressed about encouraging people to be safe in certain situations.
    You've only got 60 posts on a fresh account so good chance your trying to bait for a reaction anyway.


  • #177
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    RDM_83 again wrote: »
    :confused:

    There is nothing repressed about encouraging people to be safe in certain situations.
    You've only got 60 posts on a fresh account so good chance your trying to bait for a reaction anyway.

    I already did get a reaction from your for a silly reason so i doubt i would try again but thats fine, just remember this: Practice safe sex.


  • #178
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    Women especially open themselves up to STI's/Pregnancy/Physical, mental and sexual abuse in these situations. Not healthy by any means.
    LOL. Because all men are evil predators and women innocent virgins that are scarred by the promise of relationship and marriage only to find that they've been abandoned the next morning.

    What are you? Fifteen? Seriously?


  • #179
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    RDM_83 again wrote: »
    There is nothing repressed about encouraging people to be safe in certain situations.
    What I find amusing is that culturally those certain situations always seem to involve sex. I doubt you moralize about the risks in extreme sports, very often.


  • #180
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Ignatius in bloom wrote: »
    HPV is no worse than a cold to be honest its very rare it causes lasting or significant damage.

    And besides again for clarity i don't advocate unprotected sex!!!!!!!!!!

    HPV is a lot worse than a cold.

    I don't agree with scare tactics (and i think RMD is presenting facts, not scare tactics), but to say herpes is no worse than a cold is bollocks. Not to mention that it can potentially be passed on to a baby during vaginal childbirth.


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  • #181
    booooring!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 261 ✭✭booooring!


    To be thinking unhealthy about sex is wrong, if you wrap your willy and then catch something then worry. Ride all you want and don't be worrying about catching an STI.


  • #182
    Ignatius in bloom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭Ignatius in bloom


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    HPV is a lot worse than a cold.

    I don't agree with scare tactics (and i think RMD is presenting facts, not scare tactics), but to say herpes is no worse than a cold is bollocks. Not to mention that it can potentially be passed on to a baby during vaginal childbirth.

    HPV isn't herpes. HSV is.


  • #183
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,310 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    VisibleGorilla wrote: »
    Well yes I'm just going by what I know from my own life.

    I wouldn't call multiple ons with multiple partners healthy, dangerous if anything.

    LOL, so sex is dangerous? You should only have one partner in life?


  • #184
    Shrap
    Registered Users Posts: 3,163 ✭✭✭Shrap


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    LOL. Because all men are evil predators and women innocent virgins that are scarred by the promise of relationship and marriage only to find that they've been abandoned the next morning.

    Oooh, yes! We women are

    naive and trusting, opening ourselves to be taken in the hope that you men won't be too rough and take full advantage of the handcuffs and toys....
    or
    climbing aboard and taking you men hard with threats of extreme punishment till you submit to doing what you're told.....

    No, wait.....I can't remember which one I played last. Can we switch again?


  • #185
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    I've had plenty in college and quite a few outside it too. As long as two people consent then there's nothing wrong with it. However In my experience constantly having meaningless sex can get depressing.

    In relation to the men taking advantage of women thing I would also point out that women also take advantage of men. Once or twice I woke up with girls doing to me that would get me jail time If the roles were reversed.


  • #186
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    What I find amusing is that culturally those certain situations always seem to involve sex. I doubt you moralize about the risks in extreme sports, very often.

    Your a smarter poster than that, if somebody was going to carry out an sport where 1/8 ended up with a life changing condition yeah I would say they should be careful and mitigate risk.
    I've no reason to convince gay Londoners that they should be guilty about their sexuality, I go swimming up in Hampstead mens pond sometimes the guys are fashionable and in incredible shape most straight guys would never be able to compete with them for woman =-O


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  • #187
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,145 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »
    It's only awkward if you're a social retard.

    "Morning! Making coffee, would you like one?"


    20mins later..

    I'm just gonna go brush my teeth then I'll drop you home."

    Job done.

    I don't drink tea or coffee so it gets awkward when they look at me incredulously and then offer me a cup of milk. :D


  • #188
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    How is it awkward? Only if you're eighteen.


  • #189
    Kev W
    Registered Users Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I've had plenty in college and quite a few outside it too. As long as two people consent then there's nothing wrong with it. However In my experience constantly having meaningless sex can get depressing.

    In relation to the men taking advantage of women thing I would also point out that women also take advantage of men. Once or twice I woke up with girls doing to me that would get me jail time If the roles were reversed.

    Well if you're going to fall asleep with your wallet hanging out of your pocket...


  • #190
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Kev W wrote: »
    Well if you're going to fall asleep with your wallet hanging out of your pocket...

    Well they might have mistaken that huge bulge for a cash filled wallet I suppose.


  • #191
    Whitewinged
    Closed Accounts Posts: 935 ✭✭✭Whitewinged


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    How is it awkward? Only if you're eighteen.

    Maybe for you at 18 it was awkward. Maybe for other people 28 its awkward or38 or whatever.

    ONS are neither right or wrong. Or for sone people they are right and for others they are not.

    Some people will have had bad experiences. I seen a poster say they felt dirty after one. He then might say "one night stands are dirty" or "people who have one night stands are dirty"

    Then someone might have a great experience with ons. They will associate the ons as a good positive thing. They might think someone who doesnt associate it with positivity is prudish or judgemental.

    The one night stand alone as a concept is not dirty or amazing or awkward or whatever positive or negative you want to associate it with.

    Thats why you just have to realise what is good for you and not be proud or ashamed or distainful of actual ONS's or people who do/dont do it.

    Its more about self acceptance of what works for you without placing your ideals onto someone else.

    i was never one to have ONS. Ive seen all views and opinions from other people on whether or not me partaking in ons was good or bad. I.e "shes a good girl" to "oh shes a prude", "shes immature" "shes too mature" "ice queen", "easy" "marriage material" the list goes! Everyone experiences this women and men.

    Im always happiest just doing what feels right for me but it can take a while to learn that and its hard not to take on some of the expectations that other people place on you.


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  • #192
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,911 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Cienciano wrote: »
    LOL, so sex is dangerous? You should only have one partner in life?

    Don't be absurd.

    You should abstain altogether.


  • #193
    zeffabelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,516 ✭✭✭zeffabelli


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Women risk physical, mental and sexual abuse simply by being women - not by having causal sex.

    I could walk down the road and have verbal abuse slung at me. Hell, I get it in work semi-regularly from irate customers.

    Sexual assault can happen absolutely anywhere. Same with physical assault.

    This is true but you take greater implicit risks, physical risks, birth control fails more than people like to think, you ultimately don't know what your dealing with with a stranger.

    I don't enter the homes of strangers and they don't enter mine, not that I think everyone is Jack the Ripper, but **** does happen so I anyway am in no position to put myself in greater risks.

    I have zero marguan for error in my life and I have a dependent. So I'm not going to risk all if that for some stupid and likely bad substitution for masterbating. I'm not going home with strangers and they are not going home with me. I'm but risking rape, pregnancy, or an std for what I can do myself and better.

    Saying that, the men have a false sense of security. Sure they don't risk pregnancy or even knowing if they got someone pregnant, but you never know there are crackpots, people on mess, people with weapons .... Who knows.

    No such thing as safe sex, for me I have to have the trust.


  • #194
    Kev W
    Registered Users Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    zeffabelli wrote: »
    I have zero marguan for error

    Heh heh.


  • #195
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,203 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Once or twice I woke up with girls doing to me that would get me jail time If the roles were reversed.


    Well it wouldn't get you jail time if there was no complaint made to the authorities.

    Did you make a complaint to the authorities?

    There isn't any point in pointing out the what if's and "the unfairness" of a situation and implying that if the roles were reversed it would play out differently, if you aren't willing to test that theory by making a complaint and seeing what happens.


  • #196
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,203 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Besea wrote: »
    I take it you don't drive or take public transport.


    That's a terrible comparison to the risks involved in casual sex.


    (although not completely unrelated I grant you :pac:)


  • #197
    Whitewinged
    Closed Accounts Posts: 935 ✭✭✭Whitewinged


    zeffabelli wrote: »
    This is true but you take greater implicit risks, physical risks, birth control fails more than people like to think, you ultimately don't know what your dealing with with a stranger.

    I don't enter the homes of strangers and they don't enter mine, not that I think everyone is Jack the Ripper, but **** does happen so I anyway am in no position to put myself in greater risks.

    I have zero marguan for error in my life and I have a dependent. So I'm not going to risk all if that for some stupid and likely bad substitution for masterbating. I'm not going home with strangers and they are not going home with me. I'm but risking rape, pregnancy, or an std for what I can do myself and better.

    Saying that, the men have a false sense of security. Sure they don't risk pregnancy or even knowing if they got someone pregnant, but you never know there are crackpots, people on mess, people with weapons .... Who knows.

    No such thing as safe sex, for me I have to have the trust.

    Yea i get what you are saying.

    my husband can go to the pub and walk home alone at 2 in the morning and he doesnt have the same fears as i would have in that situation. He could be attacked just as i could but my fear of it is greater than his so i wouldnt put myself in that situation.


  • #198
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,911 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Whitewinged wrote:
    my husband can go to the pub and walk home alone at 2 in the morning and he doesnt have the same fears as i would have in that situation. He could be attacked just as i could but my fear of it is greater than his so i wouldnt put myself in that situation.


    Statistically he's far more likely to be attacked than you are.


  • #199
    zeffabelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,516 ✭✭✭zeffabelli


    Whitewinged wrote: »
    Yea i get what you are saying.

    my husband can go to the pub and walk home alone at 2 in the morning and he doesnt have the same fears as i would have in that situation. He could be attacked just as i could but my fear of it is greater than his so i wouldnt put myself in that situation.

    I have just seen too many women going to abortion clinics alone, another friend with hiv, two who were dosed with rohipnol, one of whom got genital warts from it, about 6 I know with herpes, another on the coil who got pregnant. Just way way way too many.... Of course there are instances many with no negative consequences, but enough for me to know I can't afford any of those mistakes.

    And yeah if I get drunk and engage with a randomly yes I am partially responsible for my own stupidity of something bad happens.

    Your example with your husband is a good one because it illustrates the false sense of security.


  • #200
    Whitewinged
    Closed Accounts Posts: 935 ✭✭✭Whitewinged


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    Statistically he's far more likely to be attacked than you are.

    Yea but even so its more about my fear and what situations i feel comfortable/safe in and not the statistics of it.


  • #201
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,911 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    zeffabelli wrote:
    I have just seen too many women going to abortion clinics alone, another friend with hiv, two who were dosed with rohipnol, one of whom got genital warts from it, about 6 I know with herpes, another on the coil who got pregnant. Just way way way too many.... Of course there are instances many with no negative consequences, but enough for me to know I can't afford any of those mistakes.


    You have either the most unlucky or the most foolish group of friends I've ever heard of.


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