Would you date someone who was overweight ?

Brian from Bray · 13-09-2015 5:59am #1

I would. I find women who have a bit of weight on them incredibly sexy I just don't know why.

Would you ?

Lucifer MorningStar · 13-09-2015 6:00am

Depends on how big their boobs are I guess :pac:

Jon Stark · 13-09-2015 6:04am

I don't mind weight too much, not a big deal for me. All about the face.

DoYouEvenLift · 13-09-2015 6:12am

No, I don't find it attractive and I'd also end a relationship with someone who allowed themselves to become overweight (unless it was a result of valid health issues, then I'd look past it and stick with them no questions)

Brian from Bray · 13-09-2015 6:14am

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

No, I don't find it attractive and I'd also end a relationship with someone who allowed themselves to become overweight (unless it was a result of valid health issues, then I'd look past it and stick with them no questions)

Pretty shallow don't you think ?

DoYouEvenLift · 13-09-2015 6:15am

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Pretty shallow don't you think ?

Yes. And?

Brian from Bray · 13-09-2015 6:17am

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yes. And?

What if you got on well with them ? Would you not look past their weight ?

Galwayguy35 · 13-09-2015 6:18am

If they were good looking then yeah.

DoYouEvenLift · 13-09-2015 6:23am

Brian from Bray wrote: »

What if you got on well with them ? Would you not look past their weight ?

Like I said in the brackets, if it was due to health issues of course I'd look past it. But if it was a result of laziness and excessive and bad eating habits, which it mostly is, and they refused to change their ways I'd end it. Just being honest. I'd expect the same, if I was with someone and I went from being in shape to overweight, it would hurt but, I'd completely understand them ending it. Physical/sexual attraction is a big part of relationships and life in general, as much as some insecure and low self esteem people try to deny this fact, and everyone should strive to be in their best shape both mentally and physically.

killwill · 13-09-2015 6:29am

Simple rule, if the boobs go out further than the belly it's fine!!!

Wibbs · 13-09-2015 6:39am

Depends on one's definition too, but no, mostly for the reasons Doyouevenlift gave. Plus I'm thin myself so like with like comes into it I suppose? My "rule" would be lighter than me is what I go for. I just don't find heavy women attractive. I have tried in the past to get past it, but nope. Women often enough state their preference for taller men and that's fine too.

Oasis1974 · 13-09-2015 6:56am

Generally you'll find overweight men date or marry overweight women.

Jon Stark · 13-09-2015 7:05am

Wibbs wrote: »

Women often enough state their preference for taller men and that's fine too.

Good point, never really thought about that as a comparison. As long as someone isn't being nasty there's no issue with what basically boils down to personal preference.

somuj · 13-09-2015 7:06am

No. Healthy people who are over weight disgust me. How hard is it to look after yourself? Then making excuses about trying every diet and that their metabolism must be slow.

Diamond Doll · 13-09-2015 7:20am

It's a tough one. I've been through a horrific time with my personal life in the past couple of years and as a result, I've an extra couple of stone on at the moment, so to be honest I'd probably be more comfortable dating someone who was also overweight. I mean I don't want to be with a man who I'd crush in bed! :eek:

But then again, for me, I see the extra weight as a temporary thing and I'm actively trying to lose it. It'll take time but I'm working on it. So I can't help thinking, what if I get myself all fit and skinny, but am dating an overweight man who I mightn't necessarily have been attracted to if I hadn't been overweight myself when I met him ...

I guess my answer is that someone being overweight wouldn't be an automatic turn-off for me, but I'd hope that they were at least working on trying to get fitter.

I don't see anything wrong with anyone saying a flat-out NO to dating an overweight person. Different people are attracted to different body types. I wouldn't date a man who was shorter than me, so I see nothing wrong with anyone being unattracted to someone of the opposite sex who was too fat / too skinny / whatever, it's just a matter of personal preference.

arayess · 13-09-2015 7:28am

Originally Posted by DoYouEvenLift View Post
No, I don't find it attractive and I'd also end a relationship with someone who allowed themselves to become overweight (unless it was a result of valid health issues, then I'd look past it and stick with them no questions)

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

No, I don't find it attractive and I'd also end a relationship with someone who allowed themselves to become overweight (unless it was a result of valid health issues, then I'd look past it and stick with them no questions)

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Pretty shallow don't you think ?

ITs more naive too , many a friend was seeing a fit healthy girl who coupled with kids and more maturing age increased their frame significantly.
What's he going to do ? walk out on his kids cos "your ma is fat"
:rolleyes:

Some posters here are liars or young folk with no experience of the **** they preach about.

fermanagh_man · 13-09-2015 7:31am

There are a lot of variations off over weight, slightly to obese

So for me it would be about their lifestyle choices - Eating, drinking, smoking, exercise habits

drunkmonkey · 13-09-2015 7:31am

Kids and getting older don't make you fat. We've a 17 stone rule in our house, go over that and the others free to walk.

Jon Stark · 13-09-2015 7:33am

somuj wrote: »

No. Healthy people who are over weight disgust me. How hard is it to look after yourself? Then making excuses about trying every diet and that their metabolism must be slow.

I don't know about metabolism but some people have to work harder than others to maintain a weight. Personally speaking I could do a good solid month in the gym alongside reasonable eating and controlling alcohol intake.

But all it takes is a week of taking it handy to visibly undo that month's worth of hard effort.

So basically I have to be in the gym every week, for 3/4 days minimum, to keep my weight reasonable. How many people that are slim can say they have to do the same?

arayess · 13-09-2015 7:33am

On topic.

something about small girls 5'2 or less that are chubby I find very attractive. IT's probably the big tits on such a small frame does it for me.

I generally like women to take care of themselves and keep slim(ish) but I'm 38 and unless I start dating ladies more than 10 years younger than me I'm finding it hard to find ladies who don't have a few pounds on them.

That said my "liking" criteria has broadened with my own advancing years -"I'd bang the arse off her" is still a criteria but it's not the only one any more.

strelok · 13-09-2015 7:34am

Jon Stark wrote: »

So basically I have to be in the gym every week, for 3/4 days minimum, to keep my weight reasonable. How many people that are slim can say they have to do the same?

regular exercise and not making a pig of yourself is not some unattainable ideal

jesus

arayess · 13-09-2015 7:36am

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Kids and getting older don't make you fat. We've a 17 stone rule in our house, go over that and the others free to walk.

this is true but essentially that is what happens.
happens to the guys too.

It's not the reason but the correlation is there. I see it with male friends all the time, they get settled and comfortable with a few kids and stop living the life they used to have while that may mean no more MDMA and all day sessions its sadly means no more sport or gym too.

_Kaiser_ · 13-09-2015 7:36am

It depends on your definition of "overweight" really - I don't buy into all this BMI crap as from what I've seen virtually everyone is "overweight" by those standards. It also depends on how they carry that weight as shape can account for a lot. Personally speaking the wafer-thin look does nothing for me. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a woman with decent curves - that said though there's limits too but it'd be on an individual basis for me.

To be honest I'm far more put off by someone who can't say what they mean or doesn't know what they want and/or with no ambition (be it career, personal, education, travel etc)
Also people who want to be "kept" as believe me they're still out there. Not saying everything has to be 50/50 but as long as there's an honest effort. After that I'm pretty easy going really.

But as this is AH.. boobs.. it's all about the boobs

Jon Stark · 13-09-2015 7:36am

strelok wrote: »

regular exercise and not making a pig of yourself is not some unattainable ideal

jesus

Depends on what you call regular exercise. I'd be fairly confident that what I call regular exercise pisses all over yours.

13-09-2015 7:37am

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

No, I don't find it attractive and I'd also end a relationship with someone who allowed themselves to become overweight (unless it was a result of valid health issues, then I'd look past it and stick with them no questions)

Noooooooooo!

You say you don't find it attractive, you accept it's shallow...but then you have this big explanation that it's not really about their appearance but it's this much deeper issue about their lack of discipline.

Stick to your guns. You can admit that it's because physically it's not very appealing or attractive! It's the reason I would be reluctant, but it would largely depend on degree, plump would be no issue but the whole waddling with arms stuck out think, just no.

Penny Tration · 13-09-2015 7:40am

Yes, I would. If someone else wouldn't, that's their right and is fine.

As long as you're not a dick about it, work away. These type of threads invariably end up just being a sound board for some people to bash fat women.

But yeah, I would date someone overweight, and I'd also see nothing wrong with the likes of Wibbs' opinion/preference either.

zeffabelli · 13-09-2015 7:43am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Noooooooooo!

You say you don't find it attractive, you accept it's shallow...but then you have this big explanation that it's not really about their appearance but it's this much deeper issue about their lack of discipline.

Stick to your guns. You can admit that it's because physically it's not very appealing or attractive! It's the reason I would be reluctant, but it would largely depend on degree, plump would be no issue but the whole waddling with arms stuck out think, just no.

I completely agree with this. Moralising couched in aesthetics.

zeffabelli · 13-09-2015 7:44am

Penny Tration wrote: »

Yes, I would. If someone else wouldn't, that's their right and is fine.

As long as you're not a dick about it, work away. These type of threads invariably end up just being a sound board for some people to bash fat women.

But yeah, I would date someone overweight, and I'd also see nothing wrong with the likes of Wibbs' opinion/preference either.

It depends on how overweight.

Also I don't have one particular criteria, if the person is worth it as a whole the particulars can be negotiated through in my view.

strelok · 13-09-2015 7:45am

Jon Stark wrote: »

Depends on what you call regular exercise. I'd be fairly confident that what I call regular exercise pisses all over yours.

possibly, i eat well and keep an eye on my caloric intake though so my level of exercise has more to do with my health than my weight. I certainly don't make a habit of scoffing down enough food in a week that I'd undo a months worth of sustained exercise.

Funnily enough I did do just that this week. 3 kebabs, 2 chinese takeaways. my body doesn't look all that different. I do feel like a fat **** though.

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

It depends on your definition of "overweight" really - I don't buy into all this BMI crap as from what I've seen virtually everyone is "overweight" by those standards. It also depends on how they carry that weight as shape can account for a lot. Personally speaking the wafer-thin look does nothing for me

well yes. that is the issue. just about everybody is overweight because we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic and having dangerous levels of bodyfat is just the new normal. people just don't realise how little extra fat you need before it becomes an issue. you don't have to be american deathfat before your doctor oughta be pointing it out.

Mister Vain · 13-09-2015 7:45am

Depends on how overweight and what her face and personality are like. For example, there's a girl who works in my local Halfords. She's a bit on the heavy side but has a beautiful face and seems fairly sound. So I'd date her no problem. However if she was very overweight the physical attraction just would't be there.

strelok · 13-09-2015 7:47am

Deleted User wrote: »

Noooooooooo!

You say you don't find it attractive, you accept it's shallow...but then you have this big explanation that it's not really about their appearance but it's this much deeper issue about their lack of discipline.

Stick to your guns. You can admit that it's because physically it's not very appealing or attractive! It's the reason I would be reluctant, but it would largely depend on degree, plump would be no issue but the whole waddling with arms stuck out think, just no.

i dont find smoking attractive. it's not a physical appearance issue but it does affect how attractive a person is to me.

like.... wat? that is a crazy point to make, there is a lot more to attractiveness than just the physical. even for a troglodyte subhuman beast like your typical male.

Mantis Toboggan · 13-09-2015 7:48am

General rule : if you cannot lift them, it's time to ditch them!

strelok · 13-09-2015 7:51am

Dennis Reynolds wrote: »

General rule : if you cannot lift them, it's time to ditch them!

is this why you see so few gym rat paedophiles?

13-09-2015 7:52am

strelok wrote: »

i dont find smoking attractive. it's not a physical appearance issue but it does affect how attractive a person is to me.

like.... wat? that is a crazy point to make, there is a lot more to attractiveness than just the physical. even for a troglodyte subhuman beast like your typical male.

But he said he was shallow.

So for all the explanations about discipline, he was pretty much saying he was at the troglodyte end of the scale. Which is fine, I was merely saying he didn't have to squirm and reach for a more highbrow explanation.

One eyed Jack · 13-09-2015 7:53am

strelok wrote: »

we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic

Sounds like a bit of a tight squeeze... :pac:

Meh, it wouldn't be an immediate deterrent, put it that way, nor would being skinny either (nor would any other physical trait if I'm being completely honest). I'm more sexually attracted to women who are fat, but it'd take a lot more than just finding someone sexually attractive before I'd consider any more than a ONS.

DoYouEvenLift · 13-09-2015 7:55am

arayess wrote: »

ITs more naive too , many a friend was seeing a fit healthy girl who coupled with kids and more maturing age increased their frame significantly.
What's he going to do ? walk out on his kids cos "your ma is fat"
:rolleyes:

Some posters here are liars or young folk with no experience of the **** they preach about.

Good thing I won't be having those.

arayess · 13-09-2015 7:59am

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Good thing I won't be having those.

that's not a bad plan
my kid is wrecking my head this weekend

strelok · 13-09-2015 8:04am

Deleted User wrote: »

But he said he was shallow.

So for all the explanations about discipline, he was pretty much saying he was at the troglodyte end of the scale. Which is fine, I was merely saying he didn't have to squirm and reach for a more highbrow explanation.

of course it's shallow. it's shallow to rule out any person for any one issue. ruling out somebody for being a smoker is equally shallow, you won't find anybody accusing me of being a bastard for it though.

13-09-2015 8:08am

strelok wrote: »

of course it's shallow. it's shallow to rule out any person for any one issue. ruling out somebody for being a smoker is equally shallow, you won't find anybody accusing me of being a bastard for it though.

But smoking is not directly comparable.

Because of course it need not impact on appearance at all.

A far more direct comparison would be would you date someone who was ugly.

myshirt · 13-09-2015 8:09am

I said it once, and I'll say it again:

Fat chicks do more stuff.

zeffabelli · 13-09-2015 8:09am

strelok wrote: »

of course it's shallow. it's shallow to rule out any person for any one issue. ruling out somebody for being a smoker is equally shallow, you won't find anybody accusing me of being a bastard for it though.

Not shallow. No one wants someone whose going to die on them, health, fertility, sex performance, lots of things with smoking.

strelok · 13-09-2015 8:11am

Deleted User wrote: »

But smoking is not directly comparable.

Because of course it need not impact on appearance at all.

A far more direct comparison would be would you date someone who was ugly.

smoking absolutely does impact appearance. maybe in the short them you can get away with it but long-term it definitely affects how you look and that's one of the reasons quite a few people have no qualms about blanket rejecting smokers

strelok · 13-09-2015 8:12am

zeffabelli wrote: »

Not shallow. No one wants someone whose going to die on them, health, fertility, sex performance, lots of things with smoking.

how is that any different to obesity?

Le Surge Eyed Amant · 13-09-2015 8:12am

No, I most certainly would not. The obesity epidemic is quite frankly disgusting. Fat people also make me sad when I look at them. Everyone is entitled to their preferences when it comes to a persons appearance, and one of my main preferences is for someone to be relatively in shape. Ideally, they would be very very slim, but I'm realistic and anyone who is in a healthy weight range is okay.

One eyed Jack · 13-09-2015 8:15am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

But smoking is not directly comparable.

Because of course it need not impact on appearance at all.

Smoking absolutely impacts upon a person's appearance?

A far more direct comparison would be would you date someone who was ugly.

It's not really, because 'ugly' is an entirely subjective standard, as opposed to various standards of weight. A more direct comparison is something a person can do something about, not something they can't, so height wouldn't be a direct comparison either.

zeffabelli · 13-09-2015 8:16am

strelok wrote: »

how is that any different to obesity?

Yeah...true... Overweight - obesity.... There is a spectrum.

PM me nudes · 13-09-2015 8:19am

Fat = ugly, lazy and disgusting. No thanks.

13-09-2015 8:24am

strelok wrote: »

smoking absolutely does impact appearance. maybe in the short them you can get away with it but long-term it definitely affects how you look and that's one of the reasons quite a few people have no qualms about blanket rejecting smokers

Well you keep telling yourself you would turn down Sienna Miller, Rihanna, Selma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Heather Locklear, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez and others because smoking has or will "definitely impact" on their appearance!

EoghanIRL · 13-09-2015 8:25am

strelok wrote: »

of course it's shallow. it's shallow to rule out any person for any one issue. ruling out somebody for being a smoker is equally shallow, you won't find anybody accusing me of being a bastard for it though.

I don't agree.

What's shallow about having standards and personal preference?

strelok · 13-09-2015 8:25am

zeffabelli wrote: »

Yeah...true... Overweight - obesity.... There is a spectrum.

sure, but the problems of obesity are quite common in the overweight too. it's more a matter of scale for the obese, they issues become even more serious. that's before you even mention the general problem people tend to have recognising obesity before it reaches morbid levels as we have become so accustomed to it

as you say, it all depends and there is a scale. lots of people find lots of different things attractive and are more or less willing to put up with things they find unattractive. you only have to pay minor attention to your surroundings to see that the majority of people have no problem dating someone who is overweight

zeffabelli · 13-09-2015 8:26am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well you keep telling yourself you would turn down Sienna Miller, Rihanna, Selma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Heather Locklear, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez and others because smoking has or will "definitely impact" on their appearance!

They have a lot of money to correct the damage and Photoshop.

Would you date someone who was overweight ?

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