Do we scaremonger when it comes to cancer?

SlowBlowin · 13-12-2019 4:43pm

BDI wrote: »

You have to die of something.

You are but a cluster of cells in a much bigger organism.

You reproduce and you die.

You can’t spend your life worrying about how you go. We have the best pain killing medicine ever and can induce comas if needs be. You will be comfortable however your body chooses to go unless it’s fast. Then it’s fast.

I think the horrible thing about cancers is how long modern science can keep you going for.

Anyway buy yourself a nice coat you seen somebody on Instagram wearing. Be grand.

A clinically cruel and over simplified description of life, void of compassion and care, in my opinion.

I sincerely believe if you sat in a chemo ward, with a dying loved one, your opinion would change.

Ande1975 · 13-12-2019 4:48pm

BDI wrote: »

You have to die of something.

You are but a cluster of cells in a much bigger organism.

You reproduce and you die.

You can’t spend your life worrying about how you go. We have the best pain killing medicine ever and can induce comas if needs be. You will be comfortable however your body chooses to go unless it’s fast. Then it’s fast.

I think the horrible thing about cancers is how long modern science can keep you going for.

Anyway buy yourself a nice coat you seen somebody on Instagram wearing. Be grand.

I think this is a horrible post. No clue what its like for people who's lives have been affected by this. Shame on you!

Raconteuse · 13-12-2019 4:55pm

SlowBlowin wrote: »

A clinically cruel and over simplified description of life, void of compassion and care, in my opinion.

I sincerely believe if you sat in a chemo ward, with a dying loved one, your opinion would change.

Ande1975 wrote: »

I think this is a horrible post. No clue what its like for people who's lives have been affected by this. Shame on you!

Not the first person to post it either. I don't get it. I don't think it's meant to upset (although I'm not blaming you for being upset by it) but it's got a cod philosophy thing going on. It's completely useless to a young or relatively young person diagnosed with a serious illness. Yeah we all die but most people die old. If the thread was simply about fear of death in general, not of anything specific, then it would make sense. But it's about cancer - and the importance of awareness to catch it early, not shrug and go "oh well, we all gotta go some time."

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 13-12-2019 5:09pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Not the first person to post it either. I don't get it. I don't think it's meant to upset (although I'm not blaming you for being upset by it) but it's got a cod philosophy thing going on. It's completely useless to a young or relatively young person diagnosed with a serious illness. Yeah we all die but most people die old. If the thread was simply about fear of death in general, not of anything specific, then it would make sense. But it's about cancer - and the importance of awareness to catch it early, not shrug and go "oh well, we all gotta go some time."

Yup. “Sure I could get hit by a bus tomorrow!” was what the consultant said to me. Ah, Doc? That’s highly unlikely whereas I am almost 100% certainly going to die from this disease, not something else. And way before my time too.

The worst are those who seem to think saying “We all die sometime” is really profound and deep. No, it’s trite. You haven’t elucidated the meaning of life there. All you’ve done is dismiss and diminish somebody’s fears and pain.

Raconteuse · 13-12-2019 5:22pm

You'd have more chance of getting cancer than being hit by a bus.

Hate that expression ("you could get hit by a bus tomorrow" - no you couldn't tbh).

wakka12 · 13-12-2019 5:23pm

BDI wrote: »

You have to die of something.

You are but a cluster of cells in a much bigger organism.

You reproduce and you die.

You can’t spend your life worrying about how you go. We have the best pain killing medicine ever and can induce comas if needs be. You will be comfortable however your body chooses to go unless it’s fast. Then it’s fast.

I think the horrible thing about cancers is how long modern science can keep you going for.

Anyway buy yourself a nice coat you seen somebody on Instagram wearing. Be grand.

Would you say this to your mum or dad or brother or sister if they were diagnosed with a terminal illness in their 40's or younger? Would you say this to your child who was going to die of leukemia before they even made it to secondary school? Do you think its comforting or reassuring at all to hear this?

mariaalice · 13-12-2019 7:00pm

It probably is something to do with the 24-hour news cycle and more awareness.

Also years ago there was much more social pressures to be private about illness. I read an article about an elderly woman who died her husband was dead the undertake preparing the body aske about her mastectomy as she was being dressed to be put in the coffin her children never knew she had a mastectomy.

Another thing people forget about is the side effect of treatment my brother in law had cancer about 14 years ago and is cured but has had horrific side effect from the treatment to the point where he can't work and is a shell of his former self but still the cancer is cured.

13-12-2019 7:11pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yup. “Sure I could get hit by a bus tomorrow!” was what the consultant said to me. Ah, Doc? That’s highly unlikely whereas I am almost 100% certainly going to die from this disease, not something else. And way before my time too.

The worst are those who seem to think saying “We all die sometime” is really profound and deep. No, it’s trite. You haven’t elucidated the meaning of life there. All you’ve done is dismiss and diminish somebody’s fears and pain.

It's a selfish kind of post. Look at the posts themselves. They're talking about the individual, the poster, with the disease, not watching others struggle through their own experiences.

Due to my shaking disorder, I have a very high chance at Alzheimer's, and Parkinsons disease. It also runs in my family on both sides. I decided a long time ago, after watching relations degenerate due to their condition and "treatments", that I'd "manage" it for a while and then kill myself. As such, two/almost three decades later, I've become rather fatalistic about getting diseases like Cancer. If it happens, it happens. I still do my checkups, but I'm not going to worry about it much, if at all (did all my worrying years ago). Too many people I know who lead healthier lives than me, have gotten something nasty. Such diseases are a Russian roulette.

I've watched close family relations waste away from Alzheimer's, Parkinsons, and yes, various types of Cancer. Seen them change from the vibrant people they were, to a wasted shell, sometimes retaining a spark of their individuality, but more often than not, nothing of themselves remained.

My attitude towards my getting a disease, and how I approach it, does not translate to other people. I might say, as the other posters, that I don't care (which I do, since I rather love living), but I will be supportive to anyone who has to suffer such an experience. It's up to them how they, themselves, see their situation.

lozenges · 13-12-2019 7:13pm

_Brian wrote: »

You do from those of us with cardiac issues and a family history

Sorry to hear that! I meant on a population level - of course individuals or families who know they're high risk are aware of it, but on a population level there doesn't seem to be the same fear of cardiac issues that cancer provokes in people, despite it being responsible for more mortality.

Of course increased awareness is beneficial, but I also think for some people it's counterproductive - they might have symptoms but are so terrified of being diagnosed that they go into denial and refuse to see a Dr/get investigated. I can think of one elderly relative in particular for whom this was the case.

A reasonable proportion of cancers are entirely curable, depending on how early they're caught. Unfortunately some are very silent/asymptomatic until a late stage, like ovarian cancer, and so are much more difficult to treat successfully.

BDI · 13-12-2019 7:19pm

SlowBlowin wrote: »

A clinically cruel and over simplified description of life, void of compassion and care, in my opinion.

I sincerely believe if you sat in a chemo ward, with a dying loved one, your opinion would change.

I have and I would have felt equally as bad if they had any other ailment. Motor neuron disease, now that one was rough.

SlowBlowin · 13-12-2019 7:50pm

BDI wrote: »

I have and I would have felt equally as bad if they had any other ailment. Motor neuron disease, now that one was rough.

I am sorry to hear that.

This thread is specifically about cancer and is it over hyped. Given how common its is, compared to other horrible fates like MND, I believe its first or second on the top of the list.

If everyone lived their life with no consideration to health risks, we would all be in the pub drinking, eating Haribo, and smoking fags, well I would anyway, then the chipper etc etc.

I think its sensible to consider the risks in life, and then prioritise them, and I know from personal experience that cancer is probably the biggest risk I face. Therefore I live life to full, while considering the risks and strike a balance.

I understand your, I would rather burn out than fade away, stance but its one I would not follow, time becomes more precious as you get older..

metaoblivia · 13-12-2019 8:10pm

Maybe, but I think it's good that people are more aware and are generally doing more now to catch it at an earlier stage. I've been lucky in that cancer has not affected my own family, but I have a friend who's just 31 who was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer last spring. She went through radiation/chemo and for a few months this fall it looked like things were going well. But unfortunately they found more cancer last week and have said it isn't curable. She's an only child, and I just can't even begin to imagine being in her or her parents shoes.

Even if your chances of getting cancer are low in the scheme of things, when you see people who are so young receive devastating diagnoses like that, it may cross your mind to double check, just in case. There are times when cancer can be relatively straightforward to treat, and then times when it's just absolutely devastating. If catching it early stops it from becoming the latter, why not do what you can to give yourself the best outcome.

Ms2011 · 13-12-2019 9:44pm

I lost my mother to breast cancer, she was just 39 & I was 2.
I lost my SIL in June to lung cancer, she was a non-smoker, she was only 52 and fought hard for 6 years.
If anything I've learned that cancer doesn't care if you are young, lived a healthy lifestyle, or have young children depending on you, it is cruel & doesn't discriminate, don't know if that is scaremongering or not but that has been my experience of this disease.

retro:electro · 13-12-2019 9:53pm

I don’t even have the heart to reply to this thread properly and can’t bring myself to read some of the replies. I’ve just been through the worst year of my life where I watched my mother, the love of my life, slowly succumb to this horrific disease.
Cancer doesn’t discriminate. It can literally arrive at anyone’s doorstep; rich or poor. And it doesn’t care if you’ve already been though enough and can’t handle it. I think scaremongering is the wrong word, it’s more about being realistic when you have absolutely no idea or way of predetermining if you or someone you love will get it in the future.
It’s a beast of a disease.

SlowBlowin · 13-12-2019 10:06pm

retro:electro wrote: »

I don’t even have the heart to reply to this thread properly and can’t bring myself to read some of the replies. I’ve just been through the worst year of my life where I watched my mother, the love of my life, slowly succumb to this horrific disease.
Cancer doesn’t discriminate. It can literally arrive at anyone’s doorstep; rich or poor. And it doesn’t care if you’ve already been though enough and can’t handle it. I think scaremongering is the wrong word, it’s more about being realistic when you have absolutely no idea or way of predetermining if you or someone you love will get it in the future.
It’s a beast of a disease.

I feel so sorry for you, its such a shock to experience.

_Brian · 13-12-2019 10:55pm

My MIL went from being fine to funeral in 28days.

She was active, self sufficient, driving her car, bingo, bowls, plenty of mass, walking with friends.

Felt a bit unwell so went to GP

Aggressive Ovarian Cancer.

Buried 28 days later.

Was a terrible time.

I’d left home at 17, my MIL lived with myself and my wife and I’d actually lived almost as long with her as I had with my own mum.

One of my best friends died from brain tumours last year. He’s battled for 16 years and made it to 51. 5 days before he passed away he asked a few of us to meet him and it was the toughest thing I had to do. Last thing he said was not to be sad for him, it was his time and he had no fight left. I still see his number in my phone and can’t beleive he lost his battle.

branie2 · 13-12-2019 11:52pm

I don't think so

Gynoid · 14-12-2019 7:23am

Cancer is horrible and it is scary. It would break your heart the stories on here and most of us have lost someone dear to us in a horrible way. It makes life both tragic and precious.

Can I just put in a word or two in defense of the apparently cruel fatalists - for some people fatalism is an antidote to anxiety or existential angst. A valid one, dare I say. The stoics, and the Buddhists with their fixation on impermanence, are quite fatalistic in their philosophies - it can seem cruel, it is not for everyone (I don't like it all that much being of an emotional bent myself) but it is a valid metaphysical viewpoint. Turning ''what if' into ''so what''.
It is not a cruel and dreadful way of coping, because I am sure that most of those people on here who have talked about ''sure everyone dies, buses, etc.'', would weep with the same agonised and broken hearts for someone they love.

Peole have different ways of living, coping. Of expressing. Of believing. People have to accept that. It is hard. For example I do not like the fatalistic attiutude towards death personally, but I can see its validity for some. I also find abortion repugnant but I can see how others might need it, so if a friend told me she had had one I would love her just the same. I am not in favour of euthanasia but when my sick and terribly suffering father begged me over and over for months to find some way to kill him I could understand with every fibre of my being the unbearable horror of the ground he stood on.
Life is complex.

Do we scaremonger when it comes to cancer?

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