Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 7:13pm

It is 3 or 4 hours, once a year.

Most employees are working on average 1,920 hours a year … and they can't party for 4 hours? For free ?

If an employer is having the decency to throw a party I am turning up. I am putting up with assholes I don't like, smiling away like a Cheshire Cat.

Cheers everybody.

Spanish Eyes · 09-12-2019 7:22pm

I will just say this, many people are extroverts and thrive on a noisy night out. Grand.

Others are introverts and find nights out with colleagues very difficult after a couple of hours of shyte and small talk and BS.

Just saying that not everyone is a party person. Each to their own, so live and let live.

andekwarhola · 09-12-2019 7:26pm

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

after a couple of hours of shyte and small talk and BS..

Or just people pleasantly chatting together for an hour or two.

It must be really tiring for some of the people in this thread to spend so much of their lives silently fuming about social trivialities.

09-12-2019 7:29pm

Show face and then an early Irish goodbye.
We’re staying over at ours so after the dinner I’ll slip off to my room and send a message to the work slack once I’m there.

blue note · 09-12-2019 7:40pm

LirW wrote: »

See, you can't choose your colleagues, you quite literally have no say. The fact that we work together doesn't mean I have to like them. I worked in places with great people that I'd consider work friends and then I worked in places that were full of worn out people that hated their jobs and the general vibe was to keep interaction as short as possible.
Not everyone is in the fortunate position of coping well with social events or working in a place with great colleagues.

You can't choose your family either, or who you go to school with, or your college class, or your sports team mates, etc. Throughout your life you'll be paired with people through circumstance. Work is a little different, because it's an area where you'll need to have occasional conflict. But it's up to you how you view these relationships. I'm getting married in a couple of months and won't be inviting anyone from work to the wedding. But I'd consider them work friends and always looked forward to social events where you'd see people out of a work setting.

Sunny Disposition · 09-12-2019 7:44pm

As I said earlier I wouldn’t mind at all if the staff don’t go to my one, no issue at all. I do know another guy who does take a bit of offence when people don’t go to the one he organises, but I think that’s unfair. You’re better off to accept that going to a party just isn’t a priority for some people.But the idea that it’s rude to an employer or their colleagues is a strange one to me, I don’t see it at all.

Deebles McBeebles · 09-12-2019 7:50pm

blue note wrote: »

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

Nah, I just call them colleagues because I'm an adult and that's what they are. I reckon 40 hours a week plus O/T is enough time to spend with colleagues. No problem socialising with some, a handful, but the rest I really would have zero interest in. Around this time of year with loud, packed pubs, even less. Organised work "fun" night out where Nuala gets drunk and cries to the boss about how unhappy her marriage is, less again.

Work friends... G'wan ta f*ck

ted1 · 09-12-2019 7:53pm

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Yeah, it's peer pressure, plain and simple. I did attend this years one, only because it's a new job and the place they were having it in was supposed to have savage food. I usually don't attend these. I didn't drink, but the food was indeed savage. Then the tipsy managers coming over asking how you are and speaking work speak. Like, go away, I don't want to talk about work outside of work...

My brother works here too, but for 5 years before I started. He doesn't attend because a: he's 48 and most of his team are <25, b: he's married with 2 young teens, and c: he lives in the country so a taxi would be €80+. And they're constantly onto him about attending.

Most/ many places Would allow the taxi receipt as an expensive. When you work in a team the party is part of team bonding. If you don’t want to goody for the night , then slip away quietly in to the distance

El_Duderino 09 · 09-12-2019 7:59pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

If an employer is having the decency to throw a party I am turning up. I am putting up with assholes I don't like, smiling away like a Cheshire Cat.

Putting up with people you don’t like but mostly having the craic with the people you actually like.

To be fair I end up chatting with people I don’t normally chat with in work. I like that aspect of it too. I don’t think I work with many/any people I actively dislike. A fair few who are pretty boring in my opinion but that’s not an egregious crime.

mfceiling · 09-12-2019 8:00pm

I'm self employed so Christmas party my arse.

I'm friendly enough with a couple of lads I work with (we stick together for work/subbies) so we normally go for a few pints in town.

Worked for a fairly big subbie a few years back (I know him for years). Went to his Christmas party and was surprised at the level of drug taking among middle aged lads. Coke, weed and pills going round like sweets at a kids party. Not my scene at all so I slipped off about 11 and left them at it.

Tauriel · 09-12-2019 8:07pm

I went to mine last year but not going this year, which I am disappointed with.

The location doesn't appeal to me as I would be driving and parking isn't particularly great or plentiful plus the fact that there is no sit down dinner. No way I'd be able to work a full day and go out to the Christmas party without a dinner in me. I also don't want finger food that any Tom, Dick or Harry could be pawing at, coughing/sneezing on, etc. I have a thing for avoiding food that could be contaminated by others.

The theme is also kinda **** this year and would involve trying to find a costume after I already got a new dress before we were told what the party involved.

09-12-2019 8:11pm

mustang shelly wrote: »

I went to mine last year but not going this year, which I am disappointed with.

The location doesn't appeal to me as I would be driving and parking isn't particularly great or plentiful plus the fact that there is no sit down dinner. No way I'd be able to work a full day and go out to the Christmas party without a dinner in me. I also don't want finger food that any Tom, Dick or Harry could be pawing at, coughing/sneezing on, etc. I have a thing for avoiding food that could be contaminated by others.

The theme is also kinda **** this year and would involve trying to find a costume after I already got a new dress before we were told what the party involved.

God we’ve tried for years to get finger food and the boss won’t go for it at all. It’s dream night out eating instead of a big three course that you just want to sleep after.

Fancy dress though? **** that from a massive height. It’s always only an excuse for infidelity.

Tauriel · 09-12-2019 8:12pm

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

God we’ve tried for years to get finger food and the boss won’t go for it at all. It’s dream night out eating instead of a big three course that you just want to sleep after.

I'll swap with ya!

09-12-2019 8:46pm

I can’t wait for ours anyway! Been a crazy busy year and finishing up on the 20th and straight out for the party after work and off then until the 6th Jan. Few hours on the beer first (free) then dinner in a nice restaurant followed by more beer until closing (drinking after the food probably out of my own pocket but I’m not bothered).

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 10:50pm

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I will just say this, many people are extroverts and thrive on a noisy night out. Grand.

Others are introverts and find nights out with colleagues very difficult after a couple of hours of shyte and small talk and BS.

Just saying that not everyone is a party person. Each to their own, so live and let live.

Exactly. It's not for everyone. Being an introvert doesn't make you a dry shyte. You can usually spot the people that are only there for the sake of it. You can tell they'd rather be somewhere else.

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 10:52pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

That’s pretty outrageous. It’s bad enough to do the Christmas party during the weekend but making you pay for it as well is a recipe for nobody showing up.

Are Christmas parties generally done during the week?

09-12-2019 10:54pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Are Christmas parties generally done during the week?

For as long as I can remember I’ve only heard of one mid week one and they were all raging about it.

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 11:00pm

It seems like an odd time to be having it alright, unless all the staff work weekends.

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 09-12-2019 11:05pm

Kimbot wrote: »

..drinkies

Ugh.. I hate this word "drinkies." :P

Raconteuse · 09-12-2019 11:07pm

seamus wrote: »

The reality is that even people who have "work friends", don't really have them. As soon as they or the "work friend" change jobs, they basically don't see eachother again.

I know people who get a new job, get into the chats, get to know eachother's lives. And then when it's all over there are a few misfired attempts to meet up. But within 24 months the friendships are gone.

blue note wrote: »

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

Both of these positions are so extreme. There's a middle ground.

I get on with the vast majority of my colleagues - and i'm friends/good friends with a handful. There's nobody I'm on bad terms with - there are just lots who I don't know, and yeah a handful I don't like (no doubt the same is felt about me) but nobody I've had an argument with or that I'm not speaking to. We have two do's coming up - one department, one company. I might drop into the department one for a short while but I won't be going to the company one. I don't think I'm too good for them or anything, I just want to go out with my friends, some of whom don't get out often because they have children/moved a good bit away for property affordability. It's that time of year where you have to choose. In that sense there's validity to the point about seeing them nearly every day for most of the day, and seeing your friends far less.

Dial Hard · 09-12-2019 11:10pm

I've worked in companies where I actively looked forward to the Christmas party and companies where I'd have genuinely preferred peeling my own skin off to socialising with my colleagues. So I just didn't go to those ones.

I don't really understand why people get their knickers in such a twist about this. Yes, there can be pressure to attend but seriously, if you genuinely don't want to go then it's "Sorry, I have something else on that night". That's literally all that's required.

PsychoPete · 09-12-2019 11:10pm

I don't go to Christmas parties, when I clock out at 6 I don't want to know about or do anything work related

El_Duderino 09 · 09-12-2019 11:12pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Are Christmas parties generally done during the week?

Mine is always on a Friday during the day. So you can carry on partying of you want and no work the next day. Ideal.

09-12-2019 11:14pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

I've worked in companies where I actively looked forward to the Christmas party and companies where I'd have genuinely preferred peeling my own skin off to socialising with my colleagues. So I just didn't go to those ones.

I don't really understand why people get their knickers in such a twist about this. Yes, there can be pressure to attend but seriously, if you genuinely don't want to go then it's "Sorry, I have something else on that night". That's literally all that's required.

Ours is arranged months in advance after checking what date suits for everyone to be available before it’s booked, so that doesn’t work.

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 11:15pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

I've worked in companies where I actively looked forward to the Christmas party and companies where I'd have genuinely preferred peeling my own skin off to socialising with my colleagues. So I just didn't go to those ones.

I don't really understand why people get their knickers in such a twist about this. Yes, there can be pressure to attend but seriously, if you genuinely don't want to go then it's "Sorry, I have something else on that night". That's literally all that's required.

Yeah I don't get that either. The thing I hate most about Christmas is the way some people go on about the party in work. You'd swear you were turning down a wedding invitation from a close friend.

titan18 · 09-12-2019 11:16pm

I went to my main one on Saturday. I wish I didn't tbh.

My team one is next week and I'm pretty sure I'll turn up for restaurant part and skip the rest of it.

ArnoldJRimmer · 09-12-2019 11:20pm

I'm with the same company for 15 years and to be honest, I just can't be bothered with the Christmas party any more, particularly since we have to pay our own way. Nothing against my colleagues, I like them and go for the odd pint with them. Not a huge fan of some of the management though who go around desperately trying to prove that they're 'down with the kids,' because they did some course on how to deal with millennials, and I have no time for that nonsense. But I actually did plan to pop in this year (last week) for a drink just to be social, but since I already had a bit of a cold, I just went straight home after work.

Dial Hard · 09-12-2019 11:20pm

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Ours is arranged months in advance after checking what date suits for everyone to be available before it’s booked, so that doesn’t work.

I've *been* the organiser months in advance and still not gone to the party in a company I hated.

Cushtie · 09-12-2019 11:24pm

Go most years. Going to give it a miss this year. Just not feeling it for some reason. Seemingly alot not going this year.

No obligation to go in my workplace but you do get the odd comment when you say you're not attending.

Phil.x · 09-12-2019 11:28pm

Is it ok to turn up for work not in a fit state if the party is on a Thursday night and food and drink is free.

Lackey · 09-12-2019 11:32pm

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Ours is arranged months in advance after checking what date suits for everyone to be available before it’s booked, so that doesn’t work.

One piece of good advise that stuck with me:

‘No. Is a full sentence ‘

sentient_6 · 09-12-2019 11:35pm

I'm really looking forward to mine this weekend. Have the room booked at the hotel and plan on sneaking away early to get a solid nights sleep. Haven't had a unbroken nights sleep in months with a unsettled toddler at home. Can't wait.

Have been to enough Christmas parties over the years getting mouldy myself or watching others make a show of themselves that I honestly couldn't care less for a session anyway. I'll smile and nod over a couple of bottles and be gone.

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 11:36pm

Cushtie wrote: »

Go most years. Going to give it a miss this year. Just not feeling it for some reason. Seemingly alot not going this year.

No obligation to go in my workplace but you do get the odd comment when you say you're not attending.

You're not a team player?
You're as dry as an African footpath?
Are you going to grace us with your presence?

JeffKenna · 09-12-2019 11:40pm

sentient_6 wrote: »

I'm really looking forward to mine this weekend. Have the room booked at the hotel and plan on sneaking away early to get a solid nights sleep. Haven't had a unbroken nights sleep in months with a unsettled toddler at home. Can't wait.

Have been to enough Christmas parties over the years getting mouldy myself or watching others make a show of themselves that I honestly couldn't care less for a session anyway. I'll smile and nod over a couple of bottles and be gone.

Seems like a waste of a hotel room.

whisky_galore · 09-12-2019 11:40pm

mustang shelly wrote: »

The theme is also kinda **** this year and would involve trying to find a costume after I already got a new dress before we were told what the party involved.

Ah here, fancy dress? Will there be someone making balloon animals and a Santy?

09-12-2019 11:41pm

JeffKenna wrote: »

Seems like a waste of a hotel room.

Not when you need the rest. Big spacious bed, better than your one at home, and a nice big breakfast the next morning after a proper shower. Class.

Cushtie · 09-12-2019 11:43pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

You're not a team player?
You're as dry as an African footpath?
Are you going to grace us with your presence?

Yeah, something along those lines. Depending on who you're talking to.

LaFuton · 09-12-2019 11:45pm

im pretending im going, but ive no intention

Ohmeha · 10-12-2019 12:12am

Skipped my Xmas party for the first time last year and within about 30 minutes on the following Monday morning one of my managers was over to me commenting that they noticed I wasn't at the party and quizzing why I didn't attend. I always heard from colleagues they were certain it was 'noted' by management if you didn't attend and reckoned it could effect promotions/performance ratings!

If there was ever a manager-less Xmas party this year I'd attend it without hesitation

political analyst · 10-12-2019 12:26am

Ohmeha wrote: »

Skipped my Xmas party for the first time last year and within about 30 minutes on the following Monday morning one of my managers was over to me commenting that they noticed I wasn't at the party and quizzing why I didn't attend. I always heard from colleagues they were certain it was 'noted' by management if you didn't attend and reckoned it could effect promotions/performance ratings!

If there was ever a manager-less Xmas party this year I'd attend it without hesitation

I would take office hearsay with a pinch of salt.

Aglomerado · 10-12-2019 12:36am

I work remotely from the majority of my colleagues so it's nice to get together and socialise with them. Means having to go to Dublin and stay overnight though, but it will be fun.

seamus · 10-12-2019 8:32am

Mister Vain wrote: »

Are Christmas parties generally done during the week?

The majority of Xmas parties I've attended in my lifetime have been on Thursday nights.

I was always told that this was the traditional Xmas party night out in Dublin so, "The lads from the country could go home on Friday", but that hasn't really made any sense for 20-odd years.

I expect availability and cost are the factors that have companies choosing midweek nights instead of Fridays.

They don't do Saturdays because people won't go if it's not straight after work.

zerosugarbuzz · 10-12-2019 8:57am

JeffKenna wrote: »

Seems like a waste of a hotel room.

Only if you’ve never had a toddler...

mariaalice · 10-12-2019 9:05am

LaFuton wrote: »

im pretending im going, but ive no intention

That is even worse they may have paid for you, plus its a bit childish waht about doing the adult thing and saying I am not going?

Mitzy · 10-12-2019 9:19am

I have spent the past number of years working for US Multinationals. The last place was totally over the top socially. Event's almost every week and the "holiday" party was a huge event that you were more or less obliged to attend.

I switched jobs this year to an Irish company. There is zero social scene, no Christmas party, nothing. it's wonderful.
I go to work to do just that - work. I spend my out of work time with friends & family.

Deebles McBeebles · 10-12-2019 10:01am

Ohmeha wrote: »

Skipped my Xmas party for the first time last year and within about 30 minutes on the following Monday morning one of my managers was over to me commenting that they noticed I wasn't at the party and quizzing why I didn't attend.

I sincerely hope you told them to f*ck right off. None of their business.

Greyfox · 10-12-2019 10:33am

Mitzy wrote: »

I switched jobs this year to an Irish company. There is zero social scene, no Christmas party, nothing. it's wonderful.
I go to work to do just that - work.

Sounds like my idea of hell. I find going on the odd work night out makes you realise the people you work with are just people and not soulless drones stuck in the 9-5 machine. I think with all the negativity towards xmas do's its good to point out the fact that getting to know your work colleagues outside of work can make work more bearable. Yes it could mean you realise certain people are tools but you could also get chatting to someone you've been working with for a year and actually realise their really sound, as someone mentioned earlier sometimes its nice to talk to people in a different environment.

El_Duderino 09 · 10-12-2019 10:46am

One rule I stick pretty rigidly to is; no shop talk. Funny anecdotes and things that are genuinely interesting or serious concerns are fine. But anyone wanting to actually talk shop can fcuk off back to work.

Some people need a few minutes to vent or switch off from work and that's fair enough too, But that's it. Ive a mate who loves to talk shop in the pub After work on Friday and I'm usually pretty quick to remind him. Same applies to the christmas party.

10-12-2019 11:01am

Phil.x wrote: »

Is it ok to turn up for work not in a fit state if the party is on a Thursday night and food and drink is free.

Coming in hungover wouldn't be unusual on a normal Friday so I’ve never even tried to hide it after a Christmas party. It’s sort of expected you are going to be in rag order the day after in any place I’ve worked.

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Not when you need the rest. Big spacious bed, better than your one at home, and a nice big breakfast the next morning after a proper shower. Class.

If I was dying of tiredness you still would have to drag me out of the residents bar

I’d have thought the freedom to get rat arsed would be a bigger draw than a nights sleep for someone who hasn’t been out in a while.

10-12-2019 11:08am

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

People feeling obliged to go and worrying about being called a party pooper.. please grow up and stop caring what people think about you.

This 100%
There used to be a girl in my office and she would never let it go.
"You're no craic" "we used to be mad" etc etc
Now I don't even sugar coat it with excuses.
I'm just not into drinking in the pub 50km from home !

Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

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