Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Husband hiding alcohol

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Darc19
    Registered Users Posts: 3,817 ✭✭✭Darc19


    I wouldn't be too concerned about others knowing. You'd be surprised at how much support you will get and the chances are that they know about it anyway.

    You seem to have got some solace even by sharing it here.

    It's not your fault and you'd be very surprised at how many others suffer too.

    But I'd definitely be talking to the gp, they really do have great experience in this area.


  • Options
    #33
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Darc19 wrote: »
    I wouldn't be too concerned about others knowing. You'd be surprised at how much support you will get and the chances are that they know about it anyway.

    You seem to have got some solace even by sharing it here.

    It's not your fault and you'd be very surprised at how many others suffer too.

    But I'd definitely be talking to the gp, they really do have great experience in this area.

    Good idea but I've never met the doctor who only met my husband that one time last year and my GP has never met my husband. So I don't know if either of them could help me. He won't go to a doctor unless he thinks he is about to die there and then.


  • Options
    #34
    Darc19
    Registered Users Posts: 3,817 ✭✭✭Darc19


    I'd share it with your own gp. He/she will give advice based on their own experiences with others. But you need to give them the full details no matter how hard it is.

    Your story is similar to many others - and it's not just men.

    But it can start the path to changes and will give you a professional person who will listen.


  • Options
    #35
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,961 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod Note

    Trending, seeking updates is against the Charter here in PI/RI.

    Thanks

    HS


  • Options
    #36
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,464 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    yerwanthere123 wrote: »
    Your husband is an alcoholic, plain and simple, went through similar with my father. All I can really say is you can't really do anything to help him unless he wants to help himself.

    That is a total generalisation that I don’t agree with.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Worried about hidden drink wrote: »
    I'm worried about my husband's drinking. He drinks every night at home. He drinks a full bottle of wine while we watch TV together. I think he sees this as acceptable. He also hides vodka in small 7up bottles in the back of the press and in the boot of his car and sometimes in a bag under the stairs. He drinks this as well without me seeing him. This is going on for years but I'm noticing it more lately. Sometimes he gives up drinking and stays of it for a short while but he always slips back.

    I have a few glasses of wine some nights and I decided to stop completely because I think he feels more justified in drinking if I'm having one too. He gets annoyed I don't join him. I haven't drank for a month and was hoping that he'd at least cut down but no, he's still drinking every night.

    I went to two Al Anon meetings over the years and found them useless. I also rang their helpline a few days ago and ended up listening to a woman telling me all about her family's drinking problems for 35 minutes until I told her I had to go.

    I'm really reluctant to talk to him about it because I know it will cause a fight and he will find a way to blame me and deny that anything is wrong.

    I just feel I can't trust him because of all the lies and denial about this so our relationship is based on pretending that everything is fine and avoiding the subject.

    I'm hoping that someone here has give through similar and can offer some advice.

    We are married a long time with grown up children.

    My dad was your husband for a long long time.

    He won't change unless he has to.

    My dad changed when he was left with two options ...stop or permanently damage his body.

    I can only say ...you have to stop needing him. Look after yourself. And focus on that.

    Your husband doesn't actually want you to save him. It actually makes him feel worse when you try to.

    And people CAN be happy when they drink too much. In fact its part of HOW they express happiness.

    Ireland is such a drink based culture.

    To be drunk is a buzz.

    I hated al anon too. Its a bit christian. Its not for everyone. But for some it works.

    I hate the way tho it seems to be the only option for people.

    He basically has to get sick of the bad side affects of drinking.

    And even then he will have relapses. Lots of them.


  • Options
    #38
    bobbyy gee
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,306 ✭✭✭bobbyy gee


    http://www.taborgroup.ie/news/st-patricks-day-torture-living-alcoholic/


Advertisement