Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

buffalo · 24-12-2012 10:10am

And a call from Mountjoy station this morning, encouraging stuff.

CramCycle · 24-12-2012 12:49pm

Popped down to Stillorgan to do a bit of grocery shopping the other day. As I cycled back up home, guy rolled to a stop sign and then continued to roll through it as I passed by, I roared and swerved out. Luckily a car behind me beeped or he would have knocked me down. Maybe it was my fault, it was dark and I have been told the my Schmidt edelux light is only as bright as one cars headlight:

since it was only one, maybe he didn't see me. Either way, I crawled along after as traffic was heavy, little shook and the guy caught up with me and started eyeballing me, giving me the dirtiest look ever, so much so that he swayed into on coming traffic, and nearly rear ended the car in front. I stopped (out of discomfort as he was quite creepy) and so did he, quite literally <2cm from the bumper in front. I turned to him, full barman, clear the pub voice, OPEN YOUR F*CK"NG EYES. and then I cycled off. I should have stopped, taken his number, and reported him for not driving' with due care and attention but I just wanted to get home, so apologies to the person he hits, and he will, it was irresponsible of me not to take his details.
Its not entirely his fault, because if I don't report him, and he doesn't seem to understand the issue, then he will continue to behave like a muppet.

buffalo · 24-12-2012 1:53pm

Never thought I'd spend time on Christmas Eve in a Garda station... I was planning a sneaky spin.

buffalo · 26-12-2012 3:00pm

CramCycle wrote: »

I have been told the my Schmidt edelux light is only as bright as one cars headlight:

Who was it who complained about cyclists' lights... that was probably your problem, your light was too bright.

Nice Garda took my statement, he says the taxi driver is "offering a different version of events". Which means it goes up a level to someone who decides whether the case is worth the bother. I'm not holding my breath, though I think it's obvious that no matter what train of events takes place, if you take your car close enough to a cyclist that he can a) touch it, and b) feels the need to, then your car is too close. Sure we'll see how it goes.

doozerie · 01-01-2013 12:44am

As 2013 approaches I thought I was rounding off 2012 on a good note - I've been on a bike only twice in the last two and a half weeks so I've had little opportunity for bike-related hassle (car-related hassle is another matter entirely, spending more time than usual in my car recently reminds me that there are some right savages knocking about on the roads), and things were looking good. And then today someone reversed their car into my parked MTB.

It was daylight, it's a white bike, it was stationary, I thought it was hard to miss. Turns out I was right, it was indeed hard to miss, so he didn't. This is actually the second time this bike has been hit by a car, in daylight, while parked. The last time put paid to the forks and headset, at least this time there was no apparent (so far) damage, other than scratches and cosmetic dents to one aluminium bar end, as the car seemed to just make a glancing blow to one of the pedals. So yayy for my cursed yet robust bike, and a big "what the feckin' feck??" for Irish feckin' drivers.

doozerie · 14-01-2013 12:30pm

I got out late for a spin yesterday and as a result I was heading straight into the manky weather that was moving across the country. At first it tried hard to rain but it was a poor effort really and I was hopeful that it wouldn't get any worse. Then it started snowing as I climbed Embankment towards Brittas - I enjoyed that, cycling in snow is fun when it's not combined with icy ground. Towards Brittas though it turned to rain again, bah!

I was heading to Hollywood but at Brittas I decided to do the next leg via Manor Kilbride. On such a wet and cold day the relatively busy N81 can be miserable so I welcome any opportunity to stay off it by taking quieter roads. Unfortunately, the christians were out in force in Manor Kilbride. I've encountered christian parking many times before in a variety of locations, and it is truly an (atrocious) sight to behold. Cars were parked on both sides of the road for a long stretch, leaving a narrow stretch of road just wide enough for a car and bicycle to pass safely.

Mass was obviously just over 'cos the the righteous and the good were pouring out along the road. The driver of the first moving car I encountered was obviously blinded by the love of Jesus 'cos they drove straight towards me, presumably expecting me to be carried by angels safely over their unstoppable car, or something. Immediately after that a 4x4 pulled out of a parking spot right in front of me only to immediately hit the brakes as they pulled off into a parking spot on the other side of the road. I was getting annoyed at this stage. Then another 4x4 decided to do a U-turn, from a parked position, with no indicator - I guess The Lord was on indicator and observation duty, but he was having an off day on both counts. The attempted U-turn fell short, the driver settling for basically parking his jalopy across the entire road. I let out a roar as I hit the brakes, and loudly questioned his intelligence as I swerved around him. I became aware of lots of christian heads turning towards me, the disapproving looks would have felled anyone but a fellow heathen.

As I cycled on I expected to be brought down at any moment by a bolas of rosary beads and then doused in holy water - christian charity is all well and good, but by jaysus an ungodly cyclist in the devil's lycra is too much to bear! But I'd forgotten that the truly religious are a lot more passive aggressive in their approach. The people walking on the road towards me continued to walk 2 and 3 abreast even as they pulled out further into the road to overtake parked cars. I was left with the option of colliding with the outermost pedestrians or pulling over to the other side to face the oncoming cars. Charming. In their enthusiasm though they managed to get in the way of the cars too, so I was able to squeeze between the gaps that opened up in the confusion. 'Twas like an excerpt from the ****e-ist zombie movie ever, where the zombies don't eat your brains they just try to disapprovingly eyeball you to death as they herd around you.

The rest of the ride was relatively uneventful, but my fingers and toes froze over the next few hours - that'll teach me to mess with the christians.

buffalo · 14-01-2013 1:06pm

I had one Friday morning last week. Waiting to turn left at a crossroads, red light showing for all traffic, then green light goes for straight ahead, red for the filter (ped crossing has the green).

I'm waiting with another cyclists, and there's a moped rider with us. Moped gets antsy, moves forward a bit, out into the junction, facing straight ahead. I'm wondering if he's a bit lost, but it turns out he's just debating whether to break the lights, and then to makes his decision, cutting across the pedestrian crossing.

I follow about 15 seconds later when the light goes green, and meet him at the next red light not 200m further along, where he's waiting patiently behind a Garda car.

"How come you're not breaking this red?", I ask with a grin on my face.

"Ah would you **** off", comes the grumpy reply, while he scowls at me.

Oh well.

buffalo · 16-01-2013 4:01pm

I almost forgot this happened this morning. On the way in to work, decide to head down Gardiner Street instead of my usual route on the North Circular.

Turning off Dorest Street, one encounters a rather long pothole - visible here as a black smudge http://goo.gl/maps/Vgf7y I think it's gotten longer and a bit deeper since then.

There's a couple waiting to cross Gardiner Street just beyond the pothole, the girl has turned around to watch for a gap in the traffic. I have my arm out, indicating my left turn. She's looking straight at me, grand so, she'll know I'm coming. Just have to watch out for the pothole... should I take an inside line, or go around it? And she steps off the kerb toward me. Not really near me, but enough to make me take an extra-wide turning curve around the pothole, and mutter "jay-sus" under my breath.

The cry of "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck off" from the guy follows me down Gardiner Street. Apparently she has crap vision, but he's got super hearing to compensate.

Lusk Doyle · 16-01-2013 4:05pm

How do you even have the strength to leave the house in the morning with all the oppression and animosity you encounter?

buffalo · 16-01-2013 4:17pm

Lusk Doyle wrote: »

How do you even have the strength to leave the house in the morning with all the oppression and animosity you encounter?

My love for Nick Clegg keeps me going.

Lusk Doyle · 16-01-2013 4:28pm

buffalo wrote: »

My love for Nick Clegg keeps me going.

Even Nick can't believe his good fortune!

Dermot Illogical · 16-01-2013 4:31pm

buffalo wrote: »

My love for Nick Clegg keeps me going.

Is he the one that wears a onesie?

doozerie · 16-01-2013 5:46pm

While writing up a document in work recently I wanted to refer to related work and the word "tangenital" sprang to mind. So I wrote that. But once I'd written it I found myself thinking there was something wrong with the word - the "genital" bit seemed to be screaming at me, so to speak. So I did a (careful) check online and discovered that it is actually spelled "tangental".

It was good to correct my mistake before I circulated the document, but I now find myself wondering how I've pronounced the word in conversation up to now. Have I inadvertently been referring to bronzed genitals when I've been talking to people about innocuous stuff? I guess I'll never know, but just to be safe I should probably never my face in pubic again. …wait, is that something screaming at me again?

CramCycle · 24-01-2013 2:11pm

So a week of minor irritations that led to nothing.

Monday: In bus lane on the N81 before you hit the M50, 2 snow ploughs/grit spreaders were in the lane beside me, the 2nd one noticed me but the first one didn't as he swerved across the bus lane at the last minute to get into the Texaco just before the bridge, luckily I had slowed as they overtook and was able to stop. The second one noticed and gave an apologetic look, I waved him through as I had already stopped dead. As I passed, I eyeballed the driver and pointed at my eyes but he did not even cop me.

Tuesday: On the way home, approaching Dundrum town, I pulled out to overtake a car that had pulled in to let someone off. The car had been in my vision for awhile, so I had been cautious, little traffic often gives drivers the comfort to pull out with out checking their mirrors or blindspots properly. As she pulled out at the last minute, flicking on her indicators as she turned, I let out an almighty roar "F'IN STOP", she continued rolling and finally braked but I had already made the call to swerve to the other side of the road as there was no oncoming cars. The shout was so loud that pedestrians at the lights 50metres away had stopped to gasp. I hopped off and walked back up to the driver, who to be fair, could have just driven off. She apologised profusely,with this, I asked her was she OK, I'd say she nearly soiled herself but the fact that she apologised, admitted it was her fault and even explained what she had done wrong, i felt a bit more at ease. We exchanged pleasantries and I went home at peace. I did notice that she now went up to the junction to take a left and the long way home rather than the U turn just off a roundabout at an entrance to one of the busiest shopping centers in Ireland.

Wednesday: Some ding bat pulled into the bus lane to skip the queue, nearly knocking off a motorcyclist, meters in front of me. I was going to say something but it was on the approach to the M50 roundabout and hardly a time or place to have a conversation, she did not see what she had done and will not have learned. I then kept up with the motorbike as far as the Tallaght village junction which I found impressive even though it was due to bad driving by other road users and good driving by the motorcyclist.
On the way home, some Bint in a pink, long pink Puffa style jacket, driving a BMW coupe (06 D if anyone recognises the description) near Goatstown/Dundrum, decided that despite my lights and sitting in front of her for a minute at the traffic lights, she would overtake me on the turn at the lights despite being in her lane and indicating with my arm that I was staying to the right lane (its an odd junction with a left turn immediately after). I gave chase but lost her when she overtook in a right hand turn lane, to go straight on, at the next traffic lights which had just went red.

Thursday: Coming over the M50, a lady drove straight through the red on the M50 roundabout. My light was already green but i Copped her approaching the junction at speed and slowed (luckily). I caught up with her and when she parked I called over and said, I don't know if you realised but when you ran that red at the M50 roundabout, you nearly hit me and the van that only slowed because I pulled my brakes. She apologised, and then said that she had seen and acknowledged me but that she had other things on her mind and it was not intentional ?!? I didn't shout, I didn't raise my voice, just pointed out that she should be more careful as those things on her mind may leave my mind spread out all over the roundabout.

Friday: Will be a good day, I can feel it.

Seve OB · 25-01-2013 4:04pm

Coming into work the other morning, I noticed something I have seen a good few times before.

On the cycle lane in the Phoenix Park heading from the Aras and all the way down past the Polo grounds, drove a Park ranger in his Jeep. I have no idea why, the road was busy, but moving fine. He only moved out of the cycle lane as he approached a fellow cycle lane user (someone actually on a bike!).

buffalo · 27-01-2013 10:43pm

buffalo wrote: »

I should've swerved out of the way of the motorised traffic on the wrong side of the road

Had this again on Friday evening, leaving the office a little later than usual. My commute runs along the Luas tracks in the IFSC, in particular the section where the road is only two lanes wide (one lane each way), and the Luas is not separated at all - http://goo.gl/maps/trNlB

Cycling along, nice bright front light, Luas stopped at a station on the opposite of the road. There are large "no overtaking" signs at each end of the station, but of course one muppet can't wait. Decides he can't wait the 30 seconds or so, crosses the solid white line, and drives down the wrong side of the road. Which is where yours truly is.

As much as I like games of chicken with motorised traffic, I stop at the end of the Luas, giving him enough room to get back on to his own side. Perhaps that was my mistake, or maybe he just didn't like the look of my best shoulders shrugged, arms raised, eyes rolled "what the **** are you doing" posture. I got an angry glare and a beep of the horn for my courtesy.

Next time I'll just play chicken.

buffalo · 03-02-2013 7:20pm

I had the uncomfortable experience of being in a motorist's front blind spot today.

I'm on a straight road, red van is coming out of an estate. Between me and him is a flat grassy area, so he has great visibility of the road where I am. Unfortunately, the speed I'm going and he's going sync up perfectly, so that his right windscreen pillar is exactly blocking me from his line of sight at all times. Thankfully I was watching him and had noted this, so I had slowed right down by the time he got to the stop sign at the junction. He was halfway across the line when he saw me through the driver side window and braked. He made an "oh crap I'm sorry" face, and I gave "woah there" look, followed by a pleasant nod and a wave.

I wonder if somewhere he's telling the same story with "and then this cyclist came out of nowhere!"

GlennaMaddy · 04-02-2013 3:34pm

buffalo wrote: »

I had the uncomfortable experience of being in a motorist's front blind spot today.

I'm cycling 30 years now and only experienced the exact same scenario for the first time last year, it was a wake up call. Stop signs instead of Yield signs might be the answer.

Ryath · 04-02-2013 4:14pm

GlennaMaddy wrote: »

I'm cycling 30 years now and only experienced the exact same scenario for the first time last year, it was a wake up call. Stop signs instead of Yield signs might be the answer.

You would really wonder about who makes the decisions on which sign to use. Many signs that should really be yields are stops but at least they're not dangerous. I know of a few yields signs that really should be stops and are down right dangerous.
http://maps.google.ie/?ll=53.390444,-7.782698&spn=0.029022,0.084543&t=m&z=14&layer=c&cbll=53.390359,-7.782693&panoid=lofUiZnD7juK9Nia6LYnNA&cbp=12,191.56,,0,9.05

I drive and cycle this road nearly every day and I have lost count of the number of idiots who just sail out in front of of you. It is an exit of the M6 motorway on to the old N6 that still has an 100k limit. Have had a few close calls on the bike with cars driving out of this junction but nothing as dangerous as in the car where several times I've had to slam on the brakes and nearly come to a stop and twice where I've been so close braking was not even an option and I just had to swerve around them on the other side of the road. If there had been on coming traffic I and couple of other people would not be here.

It is a big problem in Ireland though people not respecting yield signs and treating stop signs as yields. I really those drives me nuts these people who just sail out of side roads in front of on coming cars doing 100kph and never mind not yielding make no effort getting up to speed.

I spent several years cycling then several more on motorbikes before getting a car so take a lot of care driving to watch out for more vulnerable road users. There are a lot of drivers out there who could do with being put in this more vulnerable position for a while to teach them some cop on and realize driving a car on a public road is a privilege not a right and comes with a duty of care.

Ryder · 04-02-2013 7:07pm

GlennaMaddy wrote: »

I'm cycling 30 years now and only experienced the exact same scenario for the first time last year, it was a wake up call. Stop signs instead of Yield signs might be the answer.

In the US most junctions without lights that Ive seen have stop signs. Even in housing areas (low velocity). Whats more......even when theres perfect visability across the junction, and nobody coming, drivers actually stop. Stop dead and then go again. I still cant believe it.

Having said that, Ive been told numerous times to 'get my ass of the road' (while cycling) so its not perfect.....

doozerie · 04-02-2013 8:50pm

GlennaMaddy wrote: »

I'm cycling 30 years now

That's some journey, are you not there yet? :pac:

doozerie · 04-02-2013 9:00pm

More seriously, I agree in principle that some Yield signs should actually be Stop signs but I'm not convinced that it would really make any difference in practice. The most obnoxious road users seem to simply not care and will breeze through a Stop sign as casually as a Yield sign, I think. Such people really don't belong on the road but in the absence of active enforcement by An Garda I don't see that they'll feel any need to adjust their behaviour regardless of what road sign they are faced with.

doozerie · 07-02-2013 11:52am

What should have been an uneventful commute in this morning (no ice, no rain, no wind, traffic was light, visibility was good) wasn't quite that serene. While track-standing at a red light someone else on a bicycle ran into my back wheel. I'd been there for at least a full minute, at the end of a straight stretch of road, it wasn't as if I suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of him. After just about managing to control the bike and stopping myself from falling over I looked back, he was looking away. Light went green at that moment, I looked back again as I cycled off, and this time he was looking ahead and he said something to me. I had earphones in and didn't hear what he said, it might have been a (late) apology, he might have been having a go for my being in his way and preventing him from breaking the red light, I don't know. I chose to assume the former as otherwise I'd have felt compelled to pull out an earphone and engage in some verbals, and it was a good track that I was listening to at the time. While waiting at a subsequent red light the same guy cycled on through, presumably assuming that his apparent inability to see anything only a few minutes before had miraculously cured itself.

Closer to the city centre, track-standing at another red light and a different cyclist skims past my left elbow (bizarrely leaving plenty of space between himself and the kerb) and breaks the red light. Thinking happy thoughts I passed him out shortly afterwards. At the next set of red lights he came hurtling past, skimming past the nose of a crossing pedestrian. The pedestrian was crossing late, the guy on the bike was going early (light went green for us as his rear wheel cleared the pedestrian), they were both in the wrong but the cyclist was in the lead in terms of earning moron points. As my happy thoughts fought valiantly against the rising dark thoughts, I passed out the cyclist again.

Several minutes later I'm track-standing behind a bus stopped at a red light. I could have gone up the inside of the bus but the road narrows a little at the lights, there are already a bunch of cyclists there, the lights are likely to change soon, and the world won't stop spinning if I don't make up the handful of seconds that doing so would earn me. Not so for that very same cyclist though, up the inside of the bus he goes, wibbling and wobbling like a good thing. He has a few centimetres clearance between his handlebars and the bus, he's probably thinking positive, "Observe my skills. I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna die, I'm freakin' AWESOME!". He is halfway along the bus when the light goes green and the bus starts to move very slowly. The clearance reduces to a couple of centimetres, the cyclist seems to hesitate, "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, MAMMMMYYYYYY!". But self delusion seems to kick in and he speeds up and pushes on, seemingly intent on pushing the bus aside. He emerges in front of the bus, the fact that the bus driver has actually stopped to leave him space probably not knocking any of the shine off his "I beat a bus. I'm awesome. I. AM. FOOKIN. AWESOME!" thoughts. He subsequently rides along a footpath to get past another bus stopped to let passengers on/off. I pass Mr. AWESOME yet again only moments later. I've not had to risk life or limb, or weave between pedestrians on a footpath, to do so but that is because I'm not fookin awesome. He probably pities me.

Those weren't the only examples of bizarre behaviour on this morning's commute, they were just the most memorable (though the motorbiker and car driver both breaking their respective red lights to cross each others paths was interesting too). I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

NamelessPhil · 07-02-2013 12:12pm

doozerie wrote: »

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

You've still got to get home first!

t'bear · 07-02-2013 12:34pm

NamelessPhil wrote: »

You've still got to get home first!

Surrounded by AWESOMENESS in all shapes sizes!

CramCycle · 07-02-2013 2:14pm

Cycling into work yesterday evening, cyclist in front of me but there is no one else on the road, I pull out giving him the full lane, just as I am passing he swerves, right. I swerve out to give him more space as I am nearly finished the overtake.

All I said was CAREFUL, he didn't look behind and continued on straight.

The next lights he caught up with me

"Don't you f'in shout at me, sneaking up on me"
" I was just warning you I was there because you swerved out"
"you snuck up on me, f'in shouting, trying to knock me over" (even after he swerved I had given him 2 metres)
" I was just letting you know I was there, for your own safety"
"F you and my F'in safety, don't you ever f'in shout at me you C***"
"Lights Green, see you later, next time I'll plough into you with no warning" (Gardai are now walking over as he has dismounted and is walking towards me shouting, he didn't look like a threat physically but I felt no need to find out).

Then I left.

I should have waited for the Gardai to come over so I could point out his lack of lights, threatening behaviour, the fact that his brakes seemed inefficient as stopping at the lights almost didn't happen as he rolled through before rolling to a stop to turn and walk back to me.

doozerie · 07-02-2013 2:26pm

@CramCycle, F'in 'ell, f'in sneaking into the thread and trying to make my eyebrows incur an injury as they shot upwards (without any form of warm-up) at your description of a complete and utter head-the-ball. Grrrrr, etc.

doozerie · 08-02-2013 12:49pm

NamelessPhil wrote:

You've still got to get home first!

How prophetic that was. On my way home yesterday I was track-standing at yet another red light. I'd stopped short of the pedestrian crossing section, as you do (what is it with people on bikes and motorbikes, or in cars, who insist on stopping right between the pedestrian lines anyway, is it some sort of passive aggressive thing towards pedestrians or are they just plain thick?). A pedestrian decided to cross the road behind me but the concept of walking "behind" proved to be too great a challenge and he walked into my rear wheel instead. I expected at least some kind of acknowledgement, but no, he just walked on without even a glance back - I expected to see him pinging off every vaguely nearby obstacle as he fled but apparently embarrassment has a very sobering effect on otherwise wayward legs and he carved an impressively straight line as he disappeared into the distance.

This morning's commute was largely free of the usual kind of incident but certainly not free of trauma. I was nearly at work, only minutes away, my breakfast was digesting nicely and showed no signs of making a reappearance, when it happened. While stopped at a red light a cyclist pulled in in front of me and stopped. His hi-viz jacket was an eyesore so I diverted my gaze to the ground instead. He was wearing cycling tights, so bonus points there …but I'm pretty sure they ran all the way down to runners - ewww! It's the cycling equivalent of wearing socks with sandals. I had to look elsewhere, I couldn't let my eyes linger to check whether they really were runners as I'd thought initially.

So I lifted my eyes upwards. And that's when I realised the true enormity of the sartorial travesty that lay in front of me. He was wearing a pair of regular (non cycling regulation) baggy shorts over his tights. Under normal circumstances that would just have made me flinch and that would have been the extent of it, but this guy's shorts had fallen down to expose most of his arse. He was wearing tights, so all that was exposed was the arse of his tights, but try to reason that to a mind which, triggered by the fact that someone's shorts have fallen down, feels compelled to fill in an image of a big bare male arse where cycling tights currently lie. I felt quite queasy all of a sudden, my breakfast threatened to come up to take a look for itself.

Why would he do that? Why would he wear baggy shorts over his cycling kit to start with, but having done so why would he then happily let them fall down and leave them like that? Why? WHY? *SOB*

Peterx · 08-02-2013 12:58pm

doozerie wrote: »

Why? WHY? *SOB*

*Sean O'Brien* can do many many impressive things including throwing into the lineout but even he couldn't answer that one.

rollingscone · 08-02-2013 1:11pm

MOD VOICE: A bit inappropriate - post deleted

manwithaplan · 08-02-2013 2:11pm

I have asked myself on occasion why doozerie's commutes are so much more eventful than mine. I now think it's the trackstanding. A gentleman is someone who can trackstand but doesn't.

buffalo · 08-02-2013 3:10pm

er,my thanks above are directed at the Mod, not the original post. Just to be clear.

doozerie · 08-02-2013 3:14pm

@manwithaplan, A gentleman also doesn't flaunt his thin-lycra veiled "wares" in public either as it causes ladies to faint and men to fume, so I suggest that the only gentleman cyclists are those that wear voluminous plus-fours plus, of course, moustaches that bring health and safety officers out in a cold sweat as they drape down near the spinning front wheel.

Actually though, I do find that trackstanding all too often brings out the grump in people. Some people seem to think that it is an activity practiced solely to impress them, and they take personal offence. Such people feel compelled to convey their disapproval, and I've had derisory comments directed at me, some cyclists and pedestrians seemingly make a point of skimming past my front wheel, and even the odd nudge, over the years. Their sense of self-importance, and therefore their supposed "right" to be offended by other people who are doing nothing to affect them, seems to be over inflated, to say the least. People are odd.

rp · 08-02-2013 4:29pm

doozerie wrote: »

I do find that trackstanding all too often brings out the grump in people.

I was waiting at the light at the end of Kilmainham lane last week, and a Guard on an MTB was waiting to turn in: he did a brilliant trackstand for the whole cycle of the light, I was so impressed I clapped him. He looked embarrassed at that.

Seve OB · 08-02-2013 4:37pm

doozerie wrote: »

Why? WHY? *SOB*

Peterx wrote: »

*Sean O'Brien* can do many many impressive things including throwing into the lineout but even he couldn't answer that one.

Neither can I

manwithaplan · 08-02-2013 4:40pm

rp wrote: »

a Guard on an MTB was waiting to turn in: he did a brilliant trackstand for the whole cycle of the light, I was so impressed I clapped him.

Do you thank mod actions too? Have you met buffalo?

(obviously)

rollingscone · 09-02-2013 12:35am

rollingscone wrote: »

MOD VOICE: A bit inappropriate - post deleted

Yeah fair enough. Slight Rage moment.

Even got a smart comment from some RLJ the other day to the effect of wasn't I very good stopping at Red Lights.

It burns me.

doozerie · 11-02-2013 12:40am

On my ride today I saw a 4x4 approaching in the distance driving in the centre of the narrow road. The driver seemed to be trying to avoid driving through the puddles at their side of the road, 4x4's are quite fragile apparently. As we got closer, it kept to the middle of the road, straddling both lanes. I motioned with my thumb for them to pull over to their side. The woman driver did so, late and with some apparent reluctance. The stress of it all seemed a bit much for her though, the poor dear, and she felt the need to express her discontent by firing me a 2-fingered salute as we passed. Charming stuff. Except her "eff you" skills were on a par with her general driving skills and she made a right mess of it, instead of an upright "V" it came out sideways as ">" so she seemed to be making the universal sign for scissors.

In response I opted for a 1-fingered salute back. But I was wearing lobster gloves, and my fingers were numb by this stage, so my individual fingers were not capable of cooperating even if my gloves had let them. So instead of a raised finger I managed something more like a raised fist. So I'd made the universal sign for rock.

...and rock beats scissors. So I win. In your face angry lady, in your face!

buffalo · 11-02-2013 9:46am

manwithaplan wrote: »

I have asked myself on occasion why doozerie's commutes are so much more eventful than mine. I now think it's the trackstanding. A gentleman is someone who can trackstand but doesn't.

I was thinking of this on Saturday, as I headed back through town. Coming up to Harold's Cross bridge from the south, I was following a young woman on a hybrid. As she got closer to the red light, she slowed right down, and the handlebars started to wobble violently. Seemed like she was trying to go as slow as possible, so as not to have to put her foot down. But eventually she gave in, and stopped just before the light.

The bridge is one of the easiest spots to do, because there's such a slope. I slipped between herself and the vehicle on the top of the lights, and proceeded to track stand like a maniac. So MWAP, I am no gentleman!

CramCycle · 11-02-2013 9:48am

buffalo wrote: »

So MWAP, I am no gentleman!

I expected more from you, did you at least tip your hat as you passed?

buffalo · 11-02-2013 9:57am

CramCycle wrote: »

I expected more from you, did you at least tip your hat as you passed?

A tip o' the helmet to you ma'am!

doozerie · 17-02-2013 11:46pm

Was cycling home from work on Friday, trackstanding at lights, when I noticed someone looking at me from inside a car stopped in the lane beside me. My brain was not even vaguely engaged so I ended up just staring at him with a vacant expression. I suspect that was some drool dribbling lazily down my chin. He wiggled his fingers, in quite a camp version of a wave. My vacant expression probably turned to a puzzled frown. He smiled. I stared more intently. My brain engaged, and it dawned on me that it was my boss (well, my boss's boss to be precise). This looks bad, I thought, it looks like I'm just blanking him. I conjured up a smile, and tried to redeem myself with an enthusiastic wave, but the smile turned to a worried look as I realised that I'd taken one hand entirely off the bars while still trackstanding and the distance from the waving hand to the handlebar suddenly looked a lot further than the distance from my face to the ground. So having blanked my employer I was now at serious risk of doing a faceplant in front of him too, just to round off a confidence-inspiring encounter.

On the plus side though, I've now answered that pointless question that has passed across my mind at times - yes I can still balance the bike with just one hand on the bars. Next pointless question is whether I can do it with no hands on the bars, I see blood in my future.

This evening I was washing my bike bottles when I realised I was holding in my hand the brush that we use to wash our cats' food bowls. I remembered just in time. I think. If not then I'm due an interesting furball over the next day or so.

Wanted: a responsible adult to look after me and protect me from myself.

Beasty · 18-02-2013 10:00am

doozerie wrote: »

Wanted: a responsible adult to look after me and protect me from myself.

Don't think there's anyone around here that fits the bill ...

doozerie · 21-02-2013 11:35am

For reasons best known to herself my 3yr old daughter has decided recently that conversations in the wee hours of the morning are the shizzle. Each morning this week I've had to either go into her room or bring her back into her room after she walked into my room and woken me up, at times varying from 2am to 4am.

She is very philosophical in the middle of the night. During this morning's 4am chat she outlined her plans that we both paint pictures at the weekend and she said that she'd share her paints with me. "'Cos sharing is caring dad", she told me quite earnestly. I hovered briefly between finding that incredibly cute, and taking the opportunity to explain that sharing is all well and good but letting her bedraggled father get a decent night's sleep would be a particularly awesome demonstration of caring. I opted to focus on the cute aspect of it - sure feck it I can catch up on my badly needed sleep at my desk in work, I'm only (twelfty) three myself so I'm sure a big doe-eyed innocent smile at my boss will have a similarly calming affect on him as my daughter's has on me.

G'night.

buffalo · 21-02-2013 12:20pm

Lusk Doyle, starting this thread was a great idea.

Lusk Doyle · 21-02-2013 12:41pm

buffalo wrote: »

Lusk Doyle, starting this thread was a great idea.

Lusk Doyle. Home of the great ideas.

buffalo · 23-02-2013 11:17pm

Actually, seeing as how this post features doozerie, I'll stick it here.

Today's planned spin had been vaguely Sallygap, but warnings of cold and snow from Saggart reduced that to Cruagh and Pine Forest. It had been snowing very gently, so wrapped up super warm.

Didn't get run over by a woman in an SUV doing a U-turn-type-thing in the middle of the Tibradden Road junction, as she reversed into on-coming traffic (me).

Passed doozerie in blue before the first climb, across to the viewpoint, down Stocking Lane. Descending the snow seemed to be much worse, but put it down to speed, until I crossed Mount Venus Road, realised it had actually gotten heavier. Passed doozerie again at the bottom of Cruagh, figured he must be doing the same lap as me, but in the opposite direction, and let out a huge laugh. Then I realised it wasn't him, just another rider in blue. :rolleyes:

Another climb of Cruagh, keeping the HR steady but high - new PR, BOOM! Decided wouldn't have time for a third with the snow affecting conditions and visibility, turn off. Up above Cruagh there was a fair bit of snow on the ground, but clearing. Realised as I was motoring along Pine Forest Road that I hadn't put my mudguard back on after last weekend's race, and I now had a wet arse, which was rapidly getting cold.

Coming through Glencullen, light dusting of snow on the ground, getting thicker descending to Kiltiernan. Get stuck behind a lorry who's going 10kmph. He pulls over to let traffic pass, stop in Kiltiernan for a photo op, then down to Dundrum to test ride my betrothed. Then home to the fire, sweet!

doozerie · 24-02-2013 12:33am

buffalo wrote: »

Then I realised it wasn't him, just another rider in blue. :rolleyes:

The fecker! Did he not get the memo? Today was *my* day to wear blue. Every other rider I saw today seemed to have taken this into account but there is always one person who tries to ruin it for everyone. Grrrr! *flounce*

buffalo wrote:

...then down to Dundrum to test ride my betrothed.

Marriage should not be entered into lightly, but a policy of a test ride in advance will likely earn you a few evil stares in the parish.

doozerie · 24-02-2013 12:41am

During my ride today I dropped a banana that I had just extracted with difficulty from my pocket (curse you, lobster gloves!). I never leave a banana (man) behind so I stopped and went back for it. There was a convoy of 3 or 4 cars approaching it, and of course it lay in the direct path of their inside wheels. I awaited the inevitable but each car in turn deliberately and considerately veered around it and I got it back intact (though a bit concussed). I then cruelly ripped it open, ate its innards, and cast its empty skin aside - yum.

It was an insight into driver behaviour. I am now armed with the knowledge that if I ever feel at risk of being run over by a car, I should act like a banana. I will endeavour to use this knowledge wisely.

loinnsigh · 24-02-2013 1:03am

Were you just north of Blessington at the time, or was that another banana-dropper? I swerved some lad's banana there this morning

Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

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