Bullying in the workplace

Flutterby90 · 25-05-2021 6:35pm #1

Is it still common in this day and age? Has anyone experienced this?

I worked a few years ago for a well known Irish media organization and it close to broke me mentally. Horrendous treatment by a senior and middle manager that I could honestly write a book about. The department was a revolving door and people lasted no more than a year due to the behavior of one person. Going down the formal grievance route was not an option as person was a senior manager and one person tried it and was swiftly managed out.

I know three of us now that left at the same time due to the issue with no jobs to go to and it just infuriates me that the person got away with it. Also I know that more people will experience this who go into the department in the future.

It’s too late to make a legal complaint as the time frame has passed but I would love to contact a newspaper to tell them my story. Or maybe I’ve just turned into a bitter old woman?

What would you do? Put it down to experience or try to expose it? Maybe you have experienced something similar.

DrumSteve · 25-05-2021 6:36pm

Nice try, JOURNALIST.

berocca2016 · 25-05-2021 6:45pm

Not in the direct workplace. But was bullied out of a voluntary committee, it impacted my confidence so much and impacted my performance at my actual job.

I thought about trying to get revenge but then realised that the main bully was a sad unemployed lonely man whose life is crap in general, leave him at it and Kharma will continue to punish him.

Strumms · 25-05-2021 6:53pm

The way to deal with it is to document it.

Keep a daily diary... any instances of bullying, mistreatment, log it...

- when it happened

- where it happened

- who was involved in the conversation/interaction(s)

- witnesses ( if any )

Most bullies are scared stiff of having their behaviors documented and being made accountable for what they are doing... 100% they are aware of their behaviors and it’s consequences.

Keep emails from them in a folder, might not be that will stray too far from the straight and narrow in public communications but it could be valuable if they let their mask slip.. EXPOSE them and it.

Madeoface · 25-05-2021 7:14pm

I had to suffer a total gombeen loud mouth who had bullied his staff so much those who could, took retirement. I worked with the oaf for three hard years.

I documented everything but it still came down to a he said she said scenario. I was told by the top boss bullying doesn't happen at my senior level, and he refused to look at any documents. Six months later my problem boss was moved on. But not before he took a rifle to my rep.

So I won the battle but not the war. I'd have been firmer and gone legal in retrospect.

mikemac2 · 25-05-2021 7:26pm

You will find some doing the Pieta House night walk and preaching about mental health

Don't mind they cause a toxic atmosphere, they gotta get those facebook likes :rolleyes:

Kichote · 25-05-2021 8:06pm

Yes happened to me not so long ago.

I started a job a few years ago and everything was grand for the first few months. The guy who was my boss was also my landlord. Big mistake, I should never have gone down that road.

He used to come into my bedroom while I was in work, then he'd come back down to work to tell me it was messy. They blamed me for the mould on the wall, turned off the heating so the place would be good and cold when I got home. Used to often come into me at work and start giving out when there was no one else around, the level of abuse slowly escalated as he could see what he would get away with. Then it would die down for a few weeks or months and start up again.

Anything I'd do he'd go through it with a fine tooth comb to find something to complain about, whereas if he brought in some outside contractor lad to do a similar job he wouldn't bother. Felt like with a lot of the stuff I had to do I was being set up to fail. Then he'd come back to check if I was after falling into the obvious pit-fall. Loads of people left there or didn't last. I got fed up eventually and also left.

Buddy Bubs · 25-05-2021 8:31pm

Nigital Dative wrote: »

Best way to deal with office bullies is an assault rifle and 200 rounds of ammunition.

What if the bully is a terminator from the future? Won't do much

25-05-2021 8:33pm

Keep records of interactions, as mentioned. I was subjected to some unpleasant behaviour for well over a year and I minimized it for far too long. Eventually I complained and it turned out that I was one of a few recipients of similar intimidation and hostility. Again, keep track of things so you can refer to them, it often helps establish a pattern if they've done the same to anyone else.

Real Donald Trump · 25-05-2021 8:46pm

mikemac2 wrote: »

You will find some doing the Pieta House night walk and preaching about mental health

Don't mind they cause a toxic atmosphere, they gotta get those facebook likes :rolleyes:

Be Kind :rolleyes:

Hyperbollix · 25-05-2021 8:48pm

When I was a young lad, I got a 'general dog's body' job in a local supermarket. The manager was an atrocious bell end, think David Brent without the redeeming features. Most of the staff hated the sight of him but he didn't give me much hassle for the first month.

When I passed my probation period, I had to go see him in his office where he gave me a cringeworthy talk about how if I really applied myself in the next couple of years, I could make trainee manager, the sky was the limit. I was a pure greenhorn and just said to him I was only doing this for a year before I went away to college, had no real interest in working in retail beyond getting some cash together. Holy shít I might as well have told him his mother was a fat slob. He made my life a misery for the rest of my time there. It even got to the stage of manhandling me around the store room and constantly getting me to do the shítiest jobs going, even if I was already busy and there was 2 or 3 part-time young fellas in who could do it. I was young and timid and sucked it up til I left the following year.
I think about what kind of man in his mid 40s would carry on like that with a green 17 year old in his first job. A pathetic, empty man is the answer.

I expect that kind of thing is very rare these days. Times have changed so much and kids are so slick these days when it comes to their rights, they'd have a guy like that out on his ear in pissing time.

sunbeam · 25-05-2021 9:03pm

mikemac2 wrote: »

You will find some doing the Pieta House night walk and preaching about mental health

Don't mind they cause a toxic atmosphere, they gotta get those facebook likes :rolleyes:

The worst one I encountered was senior management, public sector. Liked to think of themselves as an amateur psychologist. Was doing a part time counselling course. Successfully managed to bully my line manager out their job when they returned to work after time off for some mental health issues. Claimed they were incompetent and made it clear to me that I was expected to collude in the bullying. He seemed very capable to me.

The day I got to listen to them berating him for 90 minutes straight for making a tiny mistake and then screaming at him for 'wasting their time' was they day I knew I had to get the hell out of there. It was clear from their behaviour that I was being lined up to be the next target. I made my excuses and left. Best decision I ever made.

steves2 · 25-05-2021 9:07pm

I work in a small department in a public hospital with 2 managers on well over a 100k each. One of my colleagues has been bullied and threatened by both in various ways over the years, he has it all documented but the union have been no help to him. I've started to get similar treatment for questioning them over certain things, not in a disrespectful way but they don't tolerate openness or critical thinking in any way.
I'm looking to move on in the next few months after I finish a diploma I started last year, people giving out about public sector employees like Paul Reid or politicians like Stephen Donnelly have no idea what's going on in our hospitals and the thick layer of managers that fills them, many of whom wouldn't get anywhere near their salary in the private sector.

corner of hells · 25-05-2021 9:58pm

I worked on building sites as an industrial electrician and did see some bullying, I also saw a 6 foot 2 electrician who was notorious for bullying apprentices get hit over the head with a hammer by a 5 foot nothing apprentice who was being bullied.

branie2 · 25-05-2021 10:04pm

Never happened to me, thankfully

Mad_maxx · 25-05-2021 10:04pm

corner of hells wrote: »

I worked on building sites as an industrial electrician and did see some bullying, I also saw a 6 foot 2 electrician who was notorious for bullying apprentices get hit over the head with a hammer by a 5 foot nothing apprentice who was being bullied.

did it knock some sense into him ?

Mad_maxx · 25-05-2021 10:18pm

was the victim of bullying in the workplace while overseas over twenty years ago , only twenty at the time , was not much i could do as bully was female , her motivation was raw sectarian hatred , i wrote about it before here so wont go through details again but this person was pure evil

i was the kind at the time who could never walk away from a fight so imagined myself giving as good as i got and saw myself as determined to see out my term and not give in , unfortunately being nasty is like breathing to some but cannot deliver victory for others so the only sensible thing is to pack your bags and get out of dodge early , i didnt and it was the biggest mistake of my life , i also could not ask my father for advice as he always told me everything was my fault if ever i had any issue with anything , im talking from i was ten years old

katiek102010 · 25-05-2021 11:02pm

Yes overseas

Witnessed it happening and was happy to give evidence. The union would not support the case as the victim was white and the manager was of an ethnic minority.
That particular job had a huge turnover of staff avg was 6 months to a year.

I myself was a victim of bullying within public sector employment in the UK. Initially I had union support, I found out I was the 17th victim of this person in a 25yr period. I witnessed him abusing someone, she was being bullied as she had witnessed him doing something.

He got a slap on the wrist and she left so I became his favourite to abuse. He was a pretty powerful person in his area, I got abused at home, my child was off rolled from school as "they couldn't meet his needs" he has high functioning ASD.

This man made my life living hell. He was suspended for a few weeks while investigation was going on, of course it wasn't upheld. The week he returned I got moved to a new manager and was tasked with the implementation of a new it system he tried to make my new manager says I was incompetent due to meds I was on due to what happened. New manager refused and the bully physically attacked him.

I told the union I wanted to pursue it further as it through the courts, they refused. I was approached by another union who were representing another victim ( winltness to the physical assault) they funded an external HR company to come in and conduct an investigation.

All complaints over the previous 4 years by a number of individuals were reopened and shock horror every complaint I had made was upheld. Snr management told us he was sacked along with another manager and someone from HR who were covering up for him. They were not. 1 was retired on disability, one was put on gardening leave. Bully was given the option to leave by given a contract as an external consultant.

We sued and settled after 3 years, I couldn't deal with it anymore. The level of corruption that was uncovered is beyoneld belief and is absolutely horrific, bearing in mind that this is the public service

It cost me my home and my marriage. My health has suffered beyond belief.

I never thought stress could have such a huge impact on someone's life, not just mentally but physically.

Greyfox · 25-05-2021 11:05pm

Was bullied a bit through school but luckily i have never experienced it in the workplace. A small part of me would like to meet a bully again just for the chance to deal with it in a way that i should of done while i was in school

BrianD3 · 25-05-2021 11:10pm

Save your money if possible, living paycheque to paycheque and being completely dependent on a job is a recipe for being bullied. Arseholes can sense that you need the job and that you are in a weak position. Obviously if you are just at the start of your career and on poor pay it is difficult to accumulate savings but even a small amount (e.g. enough to keep you going for a month) can help a lot.

Another one is lift weights and do martial arts - increases your confidence and your very appearance and demeanour send out a "don't mess with him" message to a bully's primitive subconscious brain - even if his developed brain knows that you're highly unlikely to get physically violent in the workplace.

The opposite of this might also be useful, give the appearance of being weak and timid but be a sly, scheming, Machiavellian type underneath. If you can find a bully's weakness, target it and provoke him into an angry response and throwing a punch, you win.

NewMan1982 · 25-05-2021 11:18pm

Two 40+ year old women tried to bully me in my very early 20s. I was well able for them though so gave as good as I got.
It was mentally draining though having to be ready for a battle each day.

Plenty of others in the office stood by and hid though.

People who hide and pretend they can’t see it are just as bad.

I wouldn’t stand by and let someone bully another person.

25-05-2021 11:49pm

Teenager working in a hotel, nearly twenty years ago and how the time flies. Initially started out at 16, few bob for the summer. Revolving door of managers, one in particular was a passive aggressive complex with small wang syndrome. Remember that guy from Intermission? Yes, all the self-help codology came spraying out of him when he lost the temper. "There's no I in team...why don't you help me help you...loose cannons direct their energy in the wrong places...let's start pulling together instead of pushing against each other". Bit my tongue because when you're 16 the self-esteem is still in flux, he exploited that and had it in for me relentlessly. Fast forward a year, nearly saved enough for college and increasingly apathetic towards role as porter/waiter. And after an extended hiatus, my favourite manager returned. All the shallow Americanisms started bouncing off me, he grew increasingly hostile as he realised any control he had was gone. One day after spending an afternoon setting up a conference room for a large gathering, he accused me of leaving him a table short. I confirmed that I had followed his instructions to the letter and there was nothing wrong with my memory. He let fly, "do you see fool tattooed on my forehead?" "No, looks like d1ckhead though". I unravelled my tie and flung it at him. "There's your noose, good luck". That's the last time I was ever under the thumb of a belligerent chancer. Important to catch this stuff early and not let it get a hold of you. There have been a handful of occasions I've come up against manipulative sorts trying to tunnel under the skin, I address it head on and if unsatisfied walk out that door without hesitation. I operate on basis that I should leave the workplace with a clean conscience, otherwise it's time to move on.

steddyeddy · 26-05-2021 9:42am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Teenager working in a hotel, nearly twenty years ago and how the time flies. Initially started out at 16, few bob for the summer. Revolving door of managers, one in particular was a passive aggressive complex with small wang syndrome. Remember that guy from Intermission? Yes, all the self-help codology came spraying out of him when he lost the temper. "There's no I in team...why don't you help me help you...loose cannons direct their energy in the wrong places...let's start pulling together instead of pushing against each other". Bit my tongue because when you're 16 the self-esteem is still in flux, he exploited that and had it in for me relentlessly. Fast forward a year, nearly saved enough for college and increasingly apathetic towards role as porter/waiter. And after an extended hiatus, my favourite manager returned. All the shallow Americanisms started bouncing off me, he grew increasingly hostile as he realised any control he had was gone. One day after spending an afternoon setting up a conference room for a large gathering, he accused me of leaving him a table short. I confirmed that I had followed his instructions to the letter and there was nothing wrong with my memory. He let fly, "do you see fool tattooed on my forehead?" "No, looks like d1ckhead though". I unravelled my tie and flung it at him. "There's your noose, good luck". That's the last time I was ever under the thumb of a belligerent chancer. Important to catch this stuff early and not let it get a hold of you. There have been a handful of occasions I've come up against manipulative sorts trying to tunnel under the skin, I address it head on and if unsatisfied walk out that door without hesitation. I operate on basis that I should leave the workplace with a clean conscience, otherwise it's time to move on.

Fair play to you and it sounds like you learnt a good lesson earlier in life. You never have to take abusive behaviour from anyone. The tragic thing about all of this is that victims of people like your former manager are often left so vunerable through being broken down that it leaves them open to other b*stards to abuse them.

TomSweeney · 26-05-2021 10:13am

Hyperbollix wrote: »

When I was a young lad, I got a 'general dog's body' job in a local supermarket. The manager was an atrocious bell end, think David Brent without the redeeming features. Most of the staff hated the sight of him but he didn't give me much hassle for the first month.

When I passed my probation period, I had to go see him in his office where he gave me a cringeworthy talk about how if I really applied myself in the next couple of years, I could make trainee manager, the sky was the limit. I was a pure greenhorn and just said to him I was only doing this for a year before I went away to college, had no real interest in working in retail beyond getting some cash together. Holy shít I might as well have told him his mother was a fat slob. He made my life a misery for the rest of my time there. It even got to the stage of manhandling me around the store room and constantly getting me to do the shítiest jobs going, even if I was already busy and there was 2 or 3 part-time young fellas in who could do it. I was young and timid and sucked it up til I left the following year.
I think about what kind of man in his mid 40s would carry on like that with a green 17 year old in his first job. A pathetic, empty man is the answer.

I expect that kind of thing is very rare these days. Times have changed so much and kids are so slick these days when it comes to their rights, they'd have a guy like that out on his ear in pissing time.

There's a special place in hell for c*nts like that.
I remember I worked in a supermarket (SV) back in 1997 when I was in 1st year of college, 18 and first part time job, anyway the manager was a weedy wanker that wore cheap suits, would have you do the ****tiest jobs out of spite - no one liked him, deadfish handshake on him too (always a bad sign).

Last time I was back in Ireland (2019) so the poor f*cker was still manager there ... jesus 22 years working in that sh1thole.

honeyjo · 18-06-2021 4:01pm

I left my last job 4 weeks ago due to bullying by my line manager. When I approached HR to tell them of what was going on the response I got was do you have any witnesses ? I handed in my notice. I was looking around before this and found a new job which I started very soon after leaving the toxic place. I'm so relieved to have left. My mental health was very poor while I worked for this company.

During 2 meetings the GM told me I needed therapy.

No I needed a new job. My mental health has improved and I'm back to my old self.

corner of hells · 18-06-2021 4:12pm

honeyjo wrote: »

I left my last job 4 weeks ago due to bullying by my line manager. When I approached HR to tell them of what was going on the response I got was do you have any witnesses ? I handed in my notice. I was looking around before this and found a new job which I started very soon after leaving the toxic place. I'm so relieved to have left. My mental health was very poor while I worked for this company.

During 2 meetings the GM told me I needed therapy.

No I needed a new job. My mental health has improved and I'm back to my old self.

Good for you.

aslanroars · 18-06-2021 4:24pm

ive never ever been bulled in any of my jobs .work for the public secter .i was union rep for 13 years.before i arrived in new department prick of inspecter told the men not 2 talk 2 regards of work.i ****ed with.his head .god he treated co workers like **** .but i just said **** them id let no man treat me the way he treated them.then i moved to different department again.before i arrived they were told i was trouble .everythings been great last few years.so i said to the inspecter one day.iheard u were told i was a mouth etc.he said sure never had u mouthing .i looked at him and said you havent annoyed me yet hahaha

fryup · 18-06-2021 4:52pm

corner of hells wrote: »

I worked on building sites as an industrial electrician and did see some bullying, I also saw a 6 foot 2 electrician who was notorious for bullying apprentices get hit over the head with a hammer by a 5 foot nothing apprentice who was being bullied.

:P fair fuks to shorty

...and what happened then??

MyLove4Satan · 18-06-2021 7:23pm

I witnessed bullying against a woman in one workplace I was in - many years back - that was like something from a horror movie.

Basically several other women in the workplace decided - for no apparent reason - they did not like her and would make her life hell. It was evil beyond comprehension. They spread false rumors she had AIDS. He husband was a pedophile lie they thought was funny. Made endless comments around her to destroy her self-esteem and openly gaslighted her. They would put stuff in bins and pretend they could not find it and then 'find it' claiming she put the item in the bin. It was so depraved and wicked I looking on was having near nightmares about it myself. I was just a young kid out of school so I didn't know what to do or say. But I was exposed to a pure mundane evil from 'respectable women' that was psychopathic in the extreme.

I'll honestly never forget it and I think about the woman all the time and hope she had a happy life in the end. The animals who bullied deserved nothing less that a slow horrible death from cancer. I truly mean this. Their bullying was sadistic murder in slow motion.

Bullying in the workplace

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