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Guardianship, access and custody

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  • 13-12-2018 12:52pm
    #1
    SAyit
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    All info greatly appricated

    2 year old child
    Lives with mother and has done all of child’s life
    Father has visited child whenever the mother allows, father and mother live a few hours apart so it has to be arranged before hand
    Father wants more rights and visitation as a few hours every few weeks isn’t enough
    He pays maintenance weekly, an amount agreed by both parents
    He doesn’t have guardianship but is going about getting it
    Mother has new boyfriend and since this relationship has started she has significantly reduced visits with child’s father

    Is it hard to get guardianship if mother doesn’t agree to sign forms?
    What does he need to do next?

    He’s looking for a good solicitor at the moment

    Will he get visitation and possibly have over nights with child?
    If it goes to court which district does it happen? The district of the father who’s filing for visitation or the district where the child lives


Comments

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    #2
    nuac
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,769 Mod ✭✭✭✭nuac


    Mod
    The father should consult a solicitor
    Leaving open for general discussion subject to rule against legal advice


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    #3
    Evd-Burner
    Registered Users Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭Evd-Burner


    What sex is the child?

    Has he applied to court yet?

    Do you have an background on their relationship? IE why do they now live a few hours apart?


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    #4
    C3PO
    Registered Users Posts: 3,744 ✭✭✭C3PO


    Evd-Burner wrote: »
    What sex is the child?

    What is the relevance of the child's gender?


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    #5
    SAyit
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭SAyit


    Not sure why child’s sex is relevant?

    They have always lived this far apart
    Relationship was short and had ended before child was born


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    #6
    Evd-Burner
    Registered Users Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭Evd-Burner


    SAyit wrote: »
    Not sure why child’s sex is relevant?

    They have always lived this far apart
    Relationship was short and had ended before child was born

    Not my direct experience but that of 2 others in a single fathers group I used to attend, one whom had a daughter and one whom had a son. In the case of the daughter it took 18 months through the courts to gain overnight access. In the case of the son overnight access was given on the first court date. In both cases the fathers had regular weekly access prior to applying for overnight.

    Your friend will have to apply for access/guardianship via the district court where the child resides.

    Although unrelated to obtaining access/guardianship does your friend pay maintenance?


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    #7
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users Posts: 11,646 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Evd-Burner wrote: »
    Not my direct experience but that of 2 others in a single fathers group I used to attend, one whom had a daughter and one whom had a son. In the case of the daughter it took 18 months through the courts to gain overnight access. In the case of the son overnight access was given on the first court date. In both cases the fathers had regular weekly access prior to applying for overnight.
    What makes you think the discrepancy was due to the genders of the children?


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    #8
    Evd-Burner
    Registered Users Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭Evd-Burner


    The guy in the group stated that the judge while deliberating also reiterated the argument that his solicitor made, a boy needs positive male role model.


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    #9
    SAyit
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭SAyit


    Evd-Burner wrote: »
    The guy in the group stated that the judge while deliberating also reiterated the argument that his solicitor made, a boy needs positive male role model.

    That’s terrible, surely a girl needs her father too!
    Thanks for the info


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    #10
    Missthekids
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭Missthekids


    I cannot stress how important it is to retain decent legal counsel. My own experience of family court shows how it is geared towards the mother and the father is seen as a cash cow. I have watched as unsubstantiated verbal evidence from the mother (who has been proven a liar under oath on many occasions) was used to remove all access without video, written and photographic evidence even being looked at from the other side. Breaches of the order from the mothers side are ignored (there is not even any legislation to punish this) while the slightest infraction of the father will be punished. (Handover being 3 minutes late treated as kidnapping)

    Irish family court is a disgrace, once maintenence is sorted the judge will have very little interest in the case. Now there is a new partner in the childs life it is likely that the other parent will be forced out to protect this relationship. If you try to introduce a new female partner on the fathers side then expect to be forced into supervised visits. Outside of Dublin there is little provision for this so expect to have access removed.

    My advice is to fight as best you can, expect to pay around 50,000 euro to get nowhere, document your fight and access the children as you can illegally. I try to intercept my children on the way to school as often as I can.

    When the child is a teenager they will likely seek you out. Be prepared to show the fight you made and perhaps you might find yourself in a position to pick up the pieces of their destroyed lives. Expect to be dealing with mental health problems and likely hatred of yourself entrenched through a childhood of being told how terrible you are.

    I hate to say this but they are likely to have had a few 'fathers' by this point and statistically one of them will likely have abused the child.

    I am a campaigner for fathers rights. I meet this **** daily. Don't underestimate what you are up against.

    My 2 children were taken from me 2 years ago. I have not seen them since, I was an exemplary father and it meant nothing. The judge refused to even view the videos of my children crying about how much they missed me. (Sent through whatsapp, not requested)

    Social services will laugh at you. They will ignore the mother leaving a 9 year old responsible for his 7 year old sister. (Left alone in the morning to get to school because her work starts at 6.30)

    You are up against it. Get the best legal advice you can afford. Make sure all payments are documented and fight like your childs life depends on it. (It does, check the statistics for fatherless children)

    Good luck.


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    #11
    sexmag
    Registered Users Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    Missthekids wrote: »
    I cannot stress how important it is to retain decent legal counsel. My own experience of family court shows how it is geared towards the mother and the father is seen as a cash cow. I have watched as unsubstantiated verbal evidence from the mother (who has been proven a liar under oath on many occasions) was used to remove all access without video, written and photographic evidence even being looked at from the other side. Breaches of the order from the mothers side are ignored (there is not even any legislation to punish this) while the slightest infraction of the father will be punished. (Handover being 3 minutes late treated as kidnapping)

    Irish family court is a disgrace, once maintenence is sorted the judge will have very little interest in the case. Now there is a new partner in the childs life it is likely that the other parent will be forced out to protect this relationship. If you try to introduce a new female partner on the fathers side then expect to be forced into supervised visits. Outside of Dublin there is little provision for this so expect to have access removed.

    My advice is to fight as best you can, expect to pay around 50,000 euro to get nowhere, document your fight and access the children as you can illegally. I try to intercept my children on the way to school as often as I can.

    When the child is a teenager they will likely seek you out. Be prepared to show the fight you made and perhaps you might find yourself in a position to pick up the pieces of their destroyed lives. Expect to be dealing with mental health problems and likely hatred of yourself entrenched through a childhood of being told how terrible you are.

    I hate to say this but they are likely to have had a few 'fathers' by this point and statistically one of them will likely have abused the child.

    I am a campaigner for fathers rights. I meet this **** daily. Don't underestimate what you are up against.

    My 2 children were taken from me 2 years ago. I have not seen them since, I was an exemplary father and it meant nothing. The judge refused to even view the videos of my children crying about how much they missed me. (Sent through whatsapp, not requested)

    Social services will laugh at you. They will ignore the mother leaving a 9 year old responsible for his 7 year old sister. (Left alone in the morning to get to school because her work starts at 6.30)

    You are up against it. Get the best legal advice you can afford. Make sure all payments are documented and fight like your childs life depends on it. (It does, check the statistics for fatherless children)

    Good luck.

    Jesus that's rough. Sorry that happened to you.

    My own experience isn't fantastic but nowhere near as bad,I represented myself, agreed access of every second weekend overnight from Friday to Sunday,holidays agreed on rotation of every other year.

    Got one ridiculous situation when I met my partner where they wanted to remove overnights but appealed it and the circuit court reversed it based on it being absolutely ridiculous.

    Legal representation is always helpful and would advice on it when it can be got.

    Also 50k is madness to have spent, most I spent was 500 per appearances, have you been to court 100 times?

    Surely there's at least 6 months between changes in orders unless there is severe breaches that need changing and a case is called?


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    #12
    Evd-Burner
    Registered Users Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭Evd-Burner


    The last number of times I went to court I represented myself and I found it much better as the judge gave me much more time to talk. It can be done but you need to do a lot of research.


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    #13
    SAyit
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭SAyit


    Evd-Burner wrote: »
    The last number of times I went to court I represented myself and I found it much better as the judge gave me much more time to talk. It can be done but you need to do a lot of research.

    I don’t know if self representation is an option here as no one close to father has any idea where to start! He has tried to do research but it’s very confusing!

    Where would someone look for names of really good solicitors? Have googled but they all claim to be good without any proof of it!

    Total beginners here and want to start on the right foot


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    #14
    sexmag
    Registered Users Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    SAyit wrote: »
    I don’t know if self representation is an option here as no one close to father has any idea where to start! He has tried to do research but it’s very confusing!

    Where would someone look for names of really good solicitors? Have googled but they all claim to be good without any proof of it!

    Total beginners here and want to start on the right foot

    Well to begin with some have Google reviews which help.

    They can also go down to the local family court house,sit in on a call over and see who's being represented, they can then ask said person their opinion of said solicitor and go from there.

    As with anything in life evidence of good character and being a decent father go a long way,as awkward as it is, its about the parent selling themselves but a twist of how it benifits the child more than anything else,what the child benefits with that parent.

    The number 1 thing about family law is the child's interest come first,something as simple as better home environment location, schools,doctors etc help.

    Only the father in this case knows what strengths he has to provide and he needs to use them.

    Hopefully the above helps and is no way legal advice


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    #15
    Evd-Burner
    Registered Users Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭Evd-Burner


    sexmag wrote: »
    Well to begin with some have Google reviews which help.

    They can also go down to the local family court house,sit in on a call over and see who's being represented, they can then ask said person their opinion of said solicitor and go from there.

    As with anything in life evidence of good character and being a decent father go a long way,as awkward as it is, its about the parent selling themselves but a twist of how it benifits the child more than anything else,what the child benefits with that parent.

    The number 1 thing about family law is the child's interest come first,something as simple as better home environment location, schools,doctors etc help.

    Only the father in this case knows what strengths he has to provide and he needs to use them.

    Hopefully the above helps and is no way legal advice

    I have to agree with you there, as a father in family law it is about selling yourself and proving that you are capable of being a father and not just a sperm donor. One of the reasons I asked what if any maintenance was being paid is because by volunteering to pay a reasonable sum of maintenance it shows that you have your child's best interests at hard and are responsible.

    Although I haven't yet done as I have been so busy with work I have heard multiple single fathers/mothers going on parenting courses, something that gives a judge clear evidence if you trying to be a better parent. Would be a great thing for your friend to preempt any doubts about his skills as a father if he has already completed a course etc.


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