"Why I did not report my rapist"

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 24-02-2017 5:02am

I don't agree it's always as easy as "just reporting it" when it comes to rape TBH

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000 · 24-02-2017 5:14am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I don't agree it's always as easy as "just reporting it" when it comes to rape TBH

Lets bring it back a few steps.

She wasn't raped.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 24-02-2017 5:17am

I would agree that in my opinion agreeing to sex and later regretting it isn't rape

lazybones32 · 24-02-2017 5:33am

Hunky Monster wrote: »

I'm reading down through her facebook and I get triggered.

"One in four women you know have been raped" - her words.

Shes an absolute tool.

No, I think some other organisations have provided an echo of such a statement: an American crowd say that 1 in (3 or 4) females in College will be raped while a wing of the UN came out with a "1 in every 4 women has been sexually assaulted". Sounds like this wan is parroting the views expressed by publicly funded groups.

24-02-2017 5:37am

TIL: Getting raped is a better alternative to an awkward conversation.

JackTaylorFan · 24-02-2017 5:47am

The key part for me in the language she used to describe her "rape" is "we kissed" & "we kissed some more"

Where's the rolls eyes emoticon on this thing.

lazybones32 · 24-02-2017 5:55am

This is why objective criteria is used to define when a crime has occurred. When the definition of a crime depends on the view of the 'victim', there is no telling where it will end... crime can occur when one feels or chooses to think it has.

infogiver · 24-02-2017 6:39am

Grayson wrote: »

I thought I'd simplify your post by editing out the unnecessary stuff.

She had no responsibility to say to him when he followed her to her bedroom door " good night" ?

Autonomous Cowherd · 24-02-2017 6:48am

Problem is the word ''rape'' being used as a catch all description for everything from this woman's awkward cringy not-rape student fumble all the way through to the true unspeakable horror of a man/woman or defenseless child being dragged from a footpath/car/beach/park/bed (etc) and being viciously set upon by another human being in a manner that is intended to violently injure, demean, punish, and annihilate the person who has zero choice in the violation of their body, and who is often in fear of impending death while being subjected to the most intimate and intimidating method of bodily and psychic degradation.

Jurisprudence above all (historically) prided itself on the accurate use and interpretation of words and meaning - to my mind the word ''rape'' as it is being abused today shows a terrible deficit in the original philosophy of law.
(not to mention it provides a weak spot opportunity for navel-gazing attention -seeking wound-loving idiots who choose to cry rape...sorry, I just get cross about this kind of crap).

24-02-2017 8:52am

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

Problem is the word ''rape'' being used as a catch all description for everything from this woman's awkward cringy not-rape student fumble all the way through to the true unspeakable horror of a man/woman or defenseless child being dragged from a footpath/car/beach/park/bed (etc) and being viciously set upon by another human being in a manner that is intended to violently injure, demean, punish, and annihilate the person who has zero choice in the violation of their body, and who is often in fear of impending death while being subjected to the most intimate and intimidating method of bodily and psychic degradation.

Well they all share one characteristic. There must be consent. And no matter what way it's stacked up, if it was demonstrated that she said no repeatedly, well he might trouble proving this was...what did you call it...a "non rape fumble". "Well, you see your honour,she kissed me in a way that suggested her repeated refusal was a lie"...

The issue is consent. The presence or absence of violence is not a constituent element of the crime, though of course if it is present it should be an aggravating factor.

davidwalsh12 · 24-02-2017 9:18am

Get a load of ****, Put it into a bage and that's what you have with this thread, a bage of ****.

Morning by the way, Lak.

meeeeh · 24-02-2017 9:27am

This thread is sad.

Wibbs · 24-02-2017 9:46am

Professional attention seeker with internet access talks current groupthink nonsense hoping for publicity. #sobrave. In other news; water is wet.

Deleted User wrote: »

TIL: Getting raped is a better alternative to an awkward conversation.

1) she wasn't raped. 2) An awkward conversation is needed alright, but if said conversation is honest and open, too many calling for same may not like some of the conclusions.

cantdecide · 24-02-2017 9:48am

General question: if a man gets drunk and has sex with a sober female friend, can he tell his wife he was raped by the sober woman?

Richard Hillman · 24-02-2017 9:57am

I remember when I was a teenager, I had a girlfriend and I was cheating on her. One day I went over to the house of the girl I was cheating with to end it but she was having none it. Whilst I was telling her that it's over, she wouldn't accept it and started to kiss me repeatedly, whilst I protested. She started straddling me and moving her hand down my bottoms and stuff , whilst I said no. Eventually I just gave in and said "f**k it, I'll just do it and never call her again".

This happened a few times until until the relationships just ended, as they do with teenagers a few weeks later. (My girlfriend found out :pac: )

It was not until I read that article that I realised that I have been a victim of Rape.

#PrayForMe
#NotAllWomen
#SoBrave

TheDavester · 24-02-2017 9:57am

cantdecide wrote: »

General question: if a man gets drunk and has sex with a sober female friend, can he tell his wife he was raped by the sober woman?

Feminist like her /lon/mullalley answer - No as men are never the victim

TheDavester · 24-02-2017 9:59am

https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/834828060562186240

24-02-2017 10:16am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well they all share one characteristic. There must be consent. And no matter what way it's stacked up, if it was demonstrated that she said no repeatedly, well he might trouble proving this was...what did you call it...a "non rape fumble". "Well, you see your honour,she kissed me in a way that suggested her repeated refusal was a lie"...

The issue is consent. The presence or absence of violence is not a constituent element of the crime, though of course if it is present it should be an aggravating factor.

I think the post you're responding to was 100% correct. Lumping everything in under sexual assault/rape and merely handwaving the range from 'pinching without consent' to violent rape as differing steps in aggravation is hugely problematic (ya I said problematic deal with it).

Consent to anything you're not happy about is not the deciding factor in whether or not that event has actually occurred, or occurred as you claim it did many years later.

Butters1979 · 24-02-2017 10:18am

namloc1980 · 24-02-2017 10:20am

I presume she is going to report this now that it's in the public domain? Otherwise it would be a terrible undermining of rape victims out there.

The Backwards Man · 24-02-2017 10:21am

And then people wonder why so many sexual assaults go unreported? The 'ah sure you'll take a wee cup in your hand' attitude is awkward enough when it comes to tea, it's downright contemptible when it comes to consent.

Very nasty folks. Very fcuking nasty.

retro:electro · 24-02-2017 10:21am

I don't believe it was rape because in that moment she made a choice and she decided it was easier for him to have sex with her than to tell him no. Rape victims don't have that choice. That is the crux of it.

I've done a lot of work with rape victims through college and it always comes back to that one word: choice. They never had a choice. RMC had a choice, but just decided she didn't want to have an awkward conversation about it.

razorblunt · 24-02-2017 10:26am

The issue with blogs and columns is that these are often made up for the purpose of submitting SOMETHING of note.

Butters1979 · 24-02-2017 10:28am

namloc1980 wrote: »

I presume she is going to report this now that it's in the public domain? Otherwise it would be a terrible undermining of rape victims out there.

In fairness anyone who went to college with her probably knows who she is talking about. She has basically already named him in the most underhanded sneaky dishonest way possible. The woman is a self centered, dangerous delusional parasite.

And a side note, why is every feminist blogger nowadays also a fashion blogger. Do the two go hand in hand?
"Fight sexist stereotyping and objectifying women"
"yellow is so in this season, a higher hemline will get his eyes to look twice"

Stupidest people on the planet !

meeeeh · 24-02-2017 10:28am

namloc1980 wrote: »

I presume she is going to report this now that it's in the public domain? Otherwise it would be a terrible undermining of rape victims out there.

Actually that is despicable sentiment. I've been sort of there, you feel guilty, you feel dirty, you powerless, you know prosecution will go nowhere... why would you report. And then people like you will say that the true victims are the general public because the bitch won't report him. I mean next time 'he' could rape your gf and all because because of her. Is that it?

Not to mention that people would actually benefit from reading the whole piece not just the extract.

retro:electro · 24-02-2017 10:28am

All the comments who are refuting her accusation on her blog are all put forward really negatively as well. Like "but you knew him" and "ye were drunk". FFS. These arguments are doing those in opposition to her view no favours.

Butters1979 · 24-02-2017 10:30am

meeeeh wrote: »

Actually that is despicable sentiment. I've been sort of there,

Sort of there? Ha. Start a blog.

banned

midlandsmissus · 24-02-2017 10:33am

Hunky Monster wrote: »

Let me be the first to call bullshït on this. I await the internet backlash. If she does indeed feel she was raped then bloody report it. She says in the article she doesn't want to report him because it might "ruin his life" yeah sorry I'm not buying that story.

Two people drunk as fück at home after a heavy night go up to bed together and end up having sex even though one was reluctant happens ALL the time and guess what ITS NOT RAPE. It's called making a mistake. Jesus if it's rape I'd be serving back to back life sentences.

Absolute lol at her being a total whore for years after and it all being the man's fault. Of course it is luv. It's always the man's fault.

This is another example of the bad side of feminism.

Holy f*cking Christ. There is a long way to go with men in this country.
If someone is reluctant to have sex - don't have sex with them!

meeeeh · 24-02-2017 10:34am

Butters1979 wrote: »

Sort of there? Ha. Start a blog.

It was digitally rape by someone working in hostel in Turkey. There was no kissing there or no other 'frienfdly' contact. I got away before anything more happened. Happy? I can't prove my credentials further I am afraid bit I am glad at least you will get some entertainment out of it.

pumpkin4life · 24-02-2017 10:37am

She's lying, or she turned a regret sex story into something far more sinister.

People who end up abused in this manner don't plaster it all over the internet with their real name like this. Also notice the mawkish, Junior Cert essay digressions about bottles of beer to set the scene. It's also interesting that she didn't name the man, or she is perfectly willing to leave a regret sex consensual victim train "rapist" on the loose who could do this to other women. Don't you care about those other women? Or are you scared that you know you're full of shìt?

I'm noticing this more and more with Millenial wans. They will speak with glee and happiness about some guy touching her ass for two seconds in a club and then it turns into a massive sexual harassment thing. It's just the same way as belonging to a club; proving to be quite financially lucrative for the right one.

Fùck, these people are dangerous as well.

Rosemary in bar: Howye pumpkin, want to go for some coffee?

Me:

"Why I did not report my rapist"

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