Tall tales, urban legends and spoofers

Princess Calla · 14-08-2020 2:31pm

CrankyHaus wrote: »

I'd say half the country has been congratulated on the quality of their English when they went to the States by now. I've even heard that one on the TV (I think someone spoofing on the late-late).

I honestly swear to god this happened to me when I was on holidays in the States.

I was visiting my friend who is also Irish, but living over there yrs. My friend introduces me to her boss' friend and his mother.... So chatting away and the mother says "you're from Ireland?".. Yes I am, same town as my friend.... "oh your English is very good".... Puzzled me goes "oh thank you"

I wrote it off as she was elderly.

However another person did think London was in Ireland... So I don't know.

Gregor Samsa · 14-08-2020 2:36pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Well, they should be aware that every country in the world has cars at this point.

Of course they should. But the whole point of the story was that he wasn't. His wife hit him on the arm and said "Of course they have cars!". He just said "Well I don't know that! What do I know about Ireland?". I went on to describe the 1.4l hatchback I had at the time. I don't think he considered that a car at all.

Pkiernan · 14-08-2020 2:43pm

The irish guys in Boston beating up black guys with hurls, then the blacks guys telling the cops that they were beaten up with giant wooden spoons.

Insect Overlord · 14-08-2020 2:51pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Well, they should be aware that every country in the world has cars at this point.

My secondary school basketball team got to spend 10 days on tour in the States (back around 2004/5) and some of the stories they came back with were mental. One of the host families asked them if we have trees in Ireland. The biggest messer in the group also convinced his host that we don't have Wednesdays in Ireland. Some people really are that gullible.

Oranage2 · 14-08-2020 2:51pm

I think we all heard this one as kids but usually older boys would say 'Don't jump into the priory or the priest will fiddle you'

Greta_Funberg · 14-08-2020 2:56pm

Insect Overlord wrote: »

The biggest messer in the group also convinced his host that we don't have Wednesdays in Ireland. Some people really are that gullible.

I bet he did. How gullible indeed.

nthclare · 14-08-2020 3:15pm

If you run around the church 12 time's at midnight you'll see the quare fella, the evil one, the benevolent one, the dark one, the divel, SATAN the bringer of light

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 14-08-2020 3:31pm

Insect Overlord wrote: »

My secondary school basketball team got to spend 10 days on tour in the States (back around 2004/5) and some of the stories they came back with were mental. One of the host families asked them if we have trees in Ireland. The biggest messer in the group also convinced his host that we don't have Wednesdays in Ireland. Some people really are that gullible.

I've heard that exact same story, except it was Tuesdays.

Losty Dublin · 14-08-2020 3:38pm

There was murder one year when the Gay Byrne show found a taxi driver who wasn't racist

Blondini · 14-08-2020 3:47pm

A youngfella having a tug opens his eyes to find that his mother has left a cup of tea at his bedside for him...

Ipso · 14-08-2020 5:01pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

I honestly swear to god this happened to me when I was on holidays in the States.

I was visiting my friend who is also Irish, but living over there yrs. My friend introduces me to her boss' friend and his mother.... So chatting away and the mother says "you're from Ireland?".. Yes I am, same town as my friend.... "oh your English is very good".... Puzzled me goes "oh thank you"

I wrote it off as she was elderly.

However another person did think London was in Ireland... So I don't know.

People in Spain speak Spanish, people in France speak French, people in Italy speak Italian, people in Germany speak German, people in Russia speak Russian, people in Norway speak Norwegian (repeat until bored).
It's not that much of a stretch for people to expect people to speak the language of their own country as a first language.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 14-08-2020 5:09pm

Ipso wrote: »

People in Spain speak Spanish, people in France speak French, people in Italy speak Italian, people in Germany speak German, people in Russia speak Russian, people in Norway speak Norwegian (repeat until bored).
It's not that much of a stretch for people to expect people to speak the language of their own country as a first language.

Well Americans aren't English and Mexicans aren't Spanish. In fact, a lot of Americans make the exact opposite mistake and only think of Spanish as a Latin American language. They are surprised to learn it's from a country in Europe.

Insect Overlord · 14-08-2020 5:15pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

I've heard that exact same story, except it was Tuesdays.

I probably posted it in C&H years ago! :P

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 14-08-2020 5:19pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

I honestly swear to god this happened to me when I was on holidays in the States.

I was visiting my friend who is also Irish, but living over there yrs. My friend introduces me to her boss' friend and his mother.... So chatting away and the mother says "you're from Ireland?".. Yes I am, same town as my friend.... "oh your English is very good".... Puzzled me goes "oh thank you"

I wrote it off as she was elderly.

However another person did think London was in Ireland... So I don't know.

I was talking to a yank one time, who genuinely thought the Isle of man was a gay holiday resort Island.... :pac:

There really is no limit to their cluelessness sometimes!

Sgt Hartman · 14-08-2020 5:22pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

I was talking to a yank one time, who genuinely thought the Isle of man was a gay holiday resort Island.... :pac:

There really is no limit to their cluelessness sometimes!

The best one yet was a Yank couple who were sitting in my local pub in Limerick. There was a rainbow outside after a heavy rain shower and the missus cries excitedly to her husband "Hey look, it's Finnegan's Rainbow"
I just cringed when I heard it

Princess Calla · 14-08-2020 5:39pm

Ipso wrote: »

People in Spain speak Spanish, people in France speak French, people in Italy speak Italian, people in Germany speak German, people in Russia speak Russian, people in Norway speak Norwegian (repeat until bored).
It's not that much of a stretch for people to expect people to speak the language of their own country as a first language.

I wonder when the "American language" will be introduced as a leaving cert subject.

Also Spain has 5 separate languages.

Brazils language isn't Brazilian, but Portuguese.

Taking into consideration that the Irish language has been in decline since the 1500's and pretty much decimated after the famine.
That one of their beloved presidents (Kennedy) hailed from Irish stock.
That an extremely high % of Americans claim to be of irish ancestry.
Then high profile irish celebs like Pierce Brosnan, U2, Brendan Gleeson etc.
It's pretty embarrassing for them not to recognise another English speaking country.

HildaOgdenx · 14-08-2020 5:50pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

The "man hides in the back seat of a woman's car while she's in paying for petrol. Then he jumps out and attacks her as she's driving along" urban legend.

Until it actually happened: https://www.kiro7.com/news/screaming-woman-scares-away-man-hiding-back-seat/81835845/

and again: https://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw-bay-city/2018/12/man-hides-in-womans-vehicle-at-gas-station-then-assaults-her-police-say.html

Happened here too, in Cork, some years ago.

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/woman-terrified-by-masked-man-who-hid-in-back-seat-of-her-car-26406883.html

whisky_galore · 14-08-2020 6:22pm

Germans were refuelling u boats in Ireland in WW2.
Black and Tans were released convicts.
RTE refused to make Fr Ted.

Junkyard Tom · 14-08-2020 6:37pm

Some girl went for a first date at the guys house where he made a lovely meal, shorty after eating she has terrible stomach pain and needs to use the toilet ASAP. He says 'oh no, wait, the bathroom is a mess I have to clean it' and keeps her waiting at the bathroom door for so long she explodes a shower of diarrhoea in her pants.

He comes out and is very understanding and says, go in and have a shower, he gets her a change of clothes and gives her a bag for her shite-drenched clothes and takes them to put them in the wash. When she's finished in the bathroom she walks out and yer man is standing outside in the nip covered from head-to-toe in her shite.

Sardonicat · 14-08-2020 6:51pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

Would you believe I worked in a social welfare office one Summer in college and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that certain groups were getting.

One woman from Africa was in one day, she had no English supposedly, a translator was there for her. Turns out she had 8 kids and wasn't long in the country, no father on the scene.
We worked out that she would be getting over 3k a month from various sources such as her payment, children's benefit, rent allowance, fuel allowance, single mother, there was other stuff but I wouldn't have believed it only for I was there.

On a Thursday each week there was someone there for emergencies, if you were badly stuck you'd get money. Same people in each week, needed money for "nappies, buggies, child seats" etc etc.

If people actually knew half the crap that is given out there'd be uproar.

So some truth to that story above wouldn't surprise me in the least.

You're right, I wouldn't believe it. If she wasn't long in the country she wouldn't have been entitled to anything other than a small payment from a community welfare officer who, until recently, came under the auspices of the HSE and operate , still, in separate premises from 'Social Welfare Offices' which haven't been called that for well over a decade. 'Likewise, emergency payments are awarded by Community Welfare Officers, in their offices, not in 'Social Welfare Offices" 'Single Mothers' hasn't been called that for over 20 years. So yeah, you're spoofing in the spoofer thread.

unhappys10 · 14-08-2020 7:39pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

You're right, I wouldn't believe it. If she wasn't long in the country she wouldn't have been entitled to anything other than a small payment from a community welfare officer who, until recently, came under the auspices of the HSE and operate , still, in separate premises from 'Social Welfare Offices' which haven't been called that for well over a decade. 'Likewise, emergency payments are awarded by Community Welfare Officers, in their offices, not in 'Social Welfare Offices" 'Single Mothers' hasn't been called that for over 20 years. So yeah, you're spoofing in the spoofer thread.

I was there and the community welfare officer were the ones who told me. But sure you stay in your little bubble there and believe what you like.
They're getting everything paid for them, I saw it every day of the week while I was there, couldn't give 2 ****es whether a stranger on the internet who hasn't a clue believes it or not.

Cop on, social welfare office is still a common phrase, but sure we'll use Intreo if you like.
You just showed you know fcuk all as the community welfare officers office was down the hallway from main Intreo reception where you'd have people coming in to sign on.
Loan parent, whatever it's called, you know what I mean unless you've fewer brain cells than I already think you do.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-08-2020 7:46pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

If people actually knew half the crap that is given out there'd be uproar.

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

unhappys10 · 14-08-2020 7:51pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

Another one for the bubble.
If you think people aren't scamming the system you are deluded. Keep your head in the sand, good lad.

Parabellum9 · 14-08-2020 7:53pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

Oh the naivety is strong in this one - look at Maggie Cash for an answer to all your questions. Free house, 50k a year in benefits and all for laying on your back and popping kid after kid out. As for your suggestion “why aren’t you doing what they are?” Maybe some people are too honest to be parasitic scum playing a broken system that enables the wasters and punishes the ambitious

Earthhorse · 14-08-2020 8:04pm

I once heard tale of a boards thread that stayed on topic.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-08-2020 8:06pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

Another one for the bubble.
If you think people aren't scamming the system you are deluded. Keep your head in the sand, good lad.

Parabellum9 wrote: »

Oh the naivety is strong in this one - look at Maggie Cash for an answer to all your questions. Free house, 50k a year in benefits and all for laying on your back and popping kid after kid out. As for your suggestion “why aren’t you doing what they are?” Maybe some people are too honest to be parasitic scum playing a broken system that enables the wasters and punishes the ambitious

Is what these people are doing “illegal”? Have they broken any laws in seeking what is entitled to them?

Or is the State you feel are in the wrong here?

Parabellum9 · 14-08-2020 8:15pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Is what these people are doing “illegal”? Have they broken any laws in seeking what is entitled to them?

Or is the State you feel are in the wrong here?

For me it’s absolutely the state, we should never have allowed welfare support to mutate to an extent that it becomes a valid alternative work - on the flip side of that those abusing it can also go **** themselves.

Anyway back on topic- there was a rumour in limerick years ago that a lad met this Turkish woman in the trinity rooms. They hit it off and she takes him back to her place. **** gets kinky and she ties his arms and legs to the bedposts, says she will be back in a minute when she has something more sexy on. The lad is laying there thinking he’s in paradise when 3 big black fellas jump out of the wardrobe and have their way with him for the next 4 hours.

banie01 · 14-08-2020 8:20pm

Greta_Funberg wrote: »

.

The American tourist commenting on how "lucky" it was that <castle> was built next to a road, when visiting <castle>.

This one is true.
I've been witness to such a conversation whilst in King John's Castle in Limerick.

Sardonicat · 14-08-2020 9:47pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

I was there and the community welfare officer were the ones who told me. But sure you stay in your little bubble there and believe what you like.
They're getting everything paid for them, I saw it every day of the week while I was there, couldn't give 2 ****es whether a stranger on the internet who hasn't a clue believes it or not.

Cop on, social welfare office is still a common phrase, but sure we'll use Intreo if you like.
You just showed you know fcuk all as the community welfare officers office was down the hallway from main Intreo reception where you'd have people coming in to sign on.
Loan parent, whatever it's called, you know what I mean unless you've fewer brain cells than I already think you do.

Not in a little bubble. It's my educational background. Before it was Intreo it was The HSE that employed Community Welfare Officers, before that it was the Health Boards and they had nothing to do with The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection whose titular named offices which had been through various name changes depending on what PR spin the government of the day opt for long before being called Intreo offices. At least 5 changes since 'Social Welfare' had hung over the doors. Community Welfare officers do not operate in these offices still. So yeah, keep bullsh1tting . Some people will believe that you can't actually remember which department you worked for and paid your wages even though you remember the African woman who walked into the country and was handed free everything. It hasn't been called Loan Parents for over a decade either. But carry on. I'm sure a few equally angry and ignorant people as yourself feel validated by your nonsense posts.

unhappys10 · 14-08-2020 10:14pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Not in a little bubble. It's my educational background. Before it was Intreo it was The HSE that employed Community Welfare Officers, before that it was the Health Boards and they had nothing to do with The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection whose titular named offices which had been through various name changes depending on what PR spin the government of the day opt for long before being called Intreo offices. At least 5 changes since 'Social Welfare' had hung over the doors. Community Welfare officers do not operate in these offices still. So yeah, keep bullsh1tting . Some people will believe that you can't actually remember which department you worked for and paid your wages even though you remember the African woman who walked into the country and was handed free everything. It hasn't been called Loan Parents for over a decade either. But carry on. I'm sure a few equally angry and ignorant people as yourself feel validated by your nonsense posts.

The community welfare officers office was down a corridor from main Intreo reception, it's still is so keep your stupid comments to yourself.

People like you are just plain ignorant of what's going on or you know exactly what happens and choose to ignore it.
Not going to have some eejit on an internet forum try to tell me what I saw and heard with my own 2 eyes and ears.
You keep your head in the sand and pay your taxes to support this carry on like a good little boy.

Go visit Intreo in Longford and ask where is the community welfare officers office, I'll give you €1,000 if it's not in the building.

From citizens information website, you might find the last paragraph interesting.

The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection's (DEASP) representatives, formerly known as Community Welfare Officers (CWOs), are employed throughout Ireland by the DEASP. CWOs were previously employed by the Health Service Executive (HSE). In legislation they are called designated persons.

They are based in Intreo centres and are responsible for the day-to-day administration of the Supplementary Welfare Allowance Scheme.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/supplementary_welfare_schemes/community_welfare_officers.html

Tall tales, urban legends and spoofers

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