Van Man

Went out with a new woman last week, I knew she was hot from the word go.


On the way to the restaurant she said:"Park the van, I want you now"

I said I wanted some chips but she was having none of it.

We got in the back and started and then she said,

"Hurt me, do it now, really hurt me, smack me,"

I smacked her arse a couple of times but it wasn't having the desired effect.


"Whip me, please whip me"

I looked in the back of the van, just a bucket and a sponge, didnt think that would do the job.

Then I had a brainwave, I reached outside, unscrewed the aerial and brought it in the back.

"Whats that for" she said.

"Well its not for Just a Minute" I said.

I rolled her over and laid into her arse,

I took no mercy and it had more lines than Clapham Junction.

She bloody loved it.

Anyway, fast forward to this morning and she calls me

"The lines on my bum didnt heal, I have been to the doctors"

"What did they say?"

"He said it was the worse case of vanaerial disease he had ever seen"