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Comments

  • #3652
    Sandor Clegane
    Registered Users Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭Sandor Clegane


    Im just home from a quick spin into town, I happened to be stuck in traffic for a bit right outside a local pup I used to drink in, looking in the window really brought back all those memories of old and kind of depressed me, seeing the people at the bar, the pool table etc...it really gave me a longing for the days when I would of just went in and not left till closing.

    It's not the nights out with friends I miss, it's going to the pub on my own on nights like this or drinking at home I miss the most.

    No point dwelling on it, it's over, anyway after the health scares I got Id never go back.


  • #3653
    AmberGold
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,285 ✭✭✭AmberGold


    Funny enough I was just driving through my local village this afternoon, it was pissing down, freezing and there was a mental wind. I saw some of the lads walking to the pub, probably to get settled in for the night, come 12.30 they’ll be chucked out into the miserable weather. Tomorrow they’ll be fit for nothing as I was 4 mornings a week out of 7.

    I was on my way home to crank up the heating, make a cup of tea and read the papers or watch something on Netflix with the kids. Like you I used to miss it, not any more.


  • #3654
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Sandor Clegane wrote: »

    It's not the nights out with friends I miss, it's going to the pub on my own on nights like this or drinking at home I miss the most.

    No point dwelling on it, it's over.


    Any ex-problem drinker who gets that, the hard- to- digest truth that "it's OVER", has a really good chance of staying sober for good imo.

    Like you and many others here, I loved drinking alone too, and part of my awakening to my alcoholism was just that--realizing for the first time that I seemed to love alcohol even more than the people in my life. A kind of cringe moment, but has served me well to see it and accept it.

    This will be my 16th sober Christmas in a row, and I am as grateful now as I was for the first. Having money for presents, showing up when I say I will, not letting loved ones down or have them spend the holidays wracked with worry over where I am , etc, all of this continues to bring me a real sense of joy.

    Blessed and I know it, because I am aware there will be a lot of unhappy households this Christmas due to alcoholism and the insane antics that go along with it.

    I am not saying anyone else here is "alcoholic", just acknowledging that I am. I am a member of AA, and encourage anyone else new, or not so new and maybe struggling, to avail of the many free AA meetings around the country--and online.

    https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/aa-meetings/find-a-meeting.299.html

    Wishing you all a beautiful Christmas season :)


  • #3655
    kam3qnwvebf4jh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 138 ✭✭kam3qnwvebf4jh


    I've managed to keep my social life somewhat intact by continuing to go out, but choosing to drink alcohol free beers and stayinging outside of rounds. It works for me at the moment but I guess I would have considered myself more of a binge drinker before than a chronic alcoholic, although I felt like I was certainly heading that way.


    To pick up on something that AmazingFun said in terms of "joy". I do find more joy in the everyday now that I'm sober. Life can still be sad, boring, happy or exciting but it's now a joy to always be able to appreciate life for what it really is, here in the now, without the alcohol wrapping a wet blanket around you and preventing you from experiencing life on its own terms.

    Stay strong and beautiful. Happy Xmas to you all !


  • #3656
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,891 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    I’ve managed to detach the once incredibly powerful association between Christmas and alcohol.

    How many family Christmas dinners or Christmas days have been ruined by excessive drinking? Being around some family members you can barely stand anyway and when the booze starts flowing, lips get loose, tempers fray and rows and fights ensue. Not nice at all. :( Especially when children witness such things.

    Since getting sober, I have regained my career (slowly, but getting there) and I have rediscovered a love of painting and creative writing.

    None of which was possible when I was sitting in my house, putting away a bottle of vodka a day.

    Happy Sober Christmas everyone! :)


  • #3657
    Tinwhistle*
    Registered Users Posts: 224 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    I’ve managed to detach the once incredibly powerful association between Christmas and alcohol.

    How many family Christmas dinners or Christmas days have been ruined by excessive drinking? Being around some family members you can barely stand anyway and when the booze starts flowing, lips get loose, tempers fray and rows and fights ensue. Not nice at all. :( Especially when children witness such things.

    Since getting sober, I have regained my career (slowly, but getting there) and I have rediscovered a love of painting and creative writing.

    None of which was possible when I was sitting in my house, putting away a bottle of vodka a day.

    Happy Sober Christmas everyone! :)

    For us Christmas isn't about getting drunk anymore...great feeling! I was out with a couple of friends last night, we had dinner and chatted. It's strange seeing others gradually slurr their words and sway as they walk. One of my friends was driving so didn't drink, the other looked spaced out by the end of the evening, interesting....


  • #3658
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Been watching this thread from the sidelines for a bit. Very encouraging thread and its always a feel good thread the way people post their stories and help others when they fall off the wagon.

    I myself wouldn't be an everyday drinker and could go weeks without drinking but when i would drink i would hit it hard for 1 or 2 days and just be filled with guilt and regret. But lately it was more, it was the feeling really down for about a week after. I also wouldn't exercise for a week after. i have gone months before without booze and even went nearly a year but always thought i was missing out on something.

    Decided back in September that there was actually no benefits to drinking, the new drink drive laws were coming and it seemed everything was starting to stack up against alcohol. i decided to take up running and get off the booze. I read Allen Carr and 'this naked mind' for motivation and just to turn me off booze. Whilst those books i found generally targeted the heavy boozer and not the binger i still found them decent and they do make you think a lot more about the brain washing we have been blitzed with from an early age. i realised a lot of the 'casual' and 'i can take or leave it' drinkers actually have a far worse addiction than they realise and are just lying to themselves.

    I used the experiment with a few friends, told them i am running and not letting alcohol affect it. Told them i liked a beer watching a football match so i got heineken zeros at home. I told them in general it was having the beer i enjoyed. They came back with the whole i can take it or leave it and they like the taste of beer. That convinced me they are addicted to the alcohol because anyone who has had heineken zero (nice and cold) will know if it was given in a pint glass you actually wouldn't taste the difference. i also threw out there that when i would have 2 beers in the past watching a game on a Sunday it limited me as i couldn't drive so having an alcohol free drink meant i could still enjoy the beer and hop in the car and do what i needed to do, still they came back with the ' i enjoy the Sunday session'.

    Its also made me realise and question why i wanted to go to the pub. i was sitting down talking crap with people who considered themselves not addicted but could think nothing better to do on a Sunday than to drink the whole day in the pub. I decided i did not want to turn out like one of these so called casual drinkers, the ones who drank cause they enjoyed the taste or wanted to be social, which after 5 pints turned into a moan fest and telling people what they reallly thought. Dont get me wrong, there are some great characters in pubs, but i do wonder are they the same bubbly person at home. Most of them are going to the pub to escape the home life they probably despise.

    I also used work in a bar for years and i have taken note of the amount of people that have died prematurely, its scary, people in their 30s, 40s and 50s. I have noticed the ones that make 60 normally live on till their 70s.

    The great thing about Ireland today is the move away from alcohol, yes i know its still huge. But there is a shift and when i run on a Sunday morning, there are loads of runners, cyclists and walkers out at the crack of dawn. Its inspiring to say the least.

    In the past i have gone off booze with great intentions, but this time i am over 3 months and i have developed a type of hatred towards it. Its a feeling that i have absolutely no desire to drink. I get maybe 6 heinekens zeros for the month and i am satisfied with it. I dont feel i am substituting, i am merely enjoying the beer i always did without the lethal side effects. Even as time is moving on, the desire even for the beer is wanning.

    Books i would recommend are

    Allen Carrs 'Easy Way to give up Alcohol'
    Annie Grace 'This Naked Mind'

    Non alcohol related - Ekhart Tolle, all of his books.

    Would love to hear other peoples book recommendations.

    Just actually did a count and i am actually on day 100


  • #3659
    Ardillaun
    Registered Users Posts: 2,558 ✭✭✭Ardillaun


    Nice piece in the Sindo by Declan Lynch:
    Indeed, if you are thinking of embarking on such a process of change, the one thing that I can almost guarantee, is that you won’t regret it. If you decide to stop drinking today, and you stay stopped for six months, or maybe longer, you will have all sorts of feelings about the way that it’s going, but I can say with some certainty that regret will not be one of these — though you may regret that you didn’t do it a long time ago.


  • #3660
    kevohmsford
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭kevohmsford


    1932 days.

    Never going back.


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  • #3661
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    10 months and 22 days today.
    Cruising.
    But life has come at me hard. My dad has a terminal diagnosis and it's a case of when :(
    I'm heart broken and all I want to do is go for a pint with him. We talk about it and he would love it and he's hospital bound and we are trying to work on him getting out of hospital so he can get some air and experience life for one last time. I suppose my head is battling all the emotions that are going on and aside from the pint id love to share with my dad i just want to escape from my head. End rant.


  • #3662
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    One of my worst relapses started after 6 months off on a similar wanting just a bit of time out. Had made up my mind just to have a few pints. Took me a good while to get back to where I was.


    We are all different but my advice for what it is worth is by all means spend time with your Da and give him a break, but you don't have to drink. And drinking from a mindset of thinking you just need a break and that you can pick up where you left off is dangerous.


    I know I couldn't and it was a lesson learned the hard way. Sorry to hear about your Da and hope you have some good time together but think long about having to drink as part of that.


  • #3663
    Foweva Awone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    14 months now. :)

    I'm doing a CE scheme in the treatment centre where I finally got recovery, and it is so good for me being to be constantly around people in active addiction and early recovery. I've so much gratitude every single day to be where I am.

    I'm seriously considering working in the services long-term - I know it's a bit of a cliché, but who cares really if it's the right path for me, and if my experiences can help others.

    For now I'm just enjoying life. :)


  • #3664
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Bonniedog wrote: »
    One of my worst relapses started after 6 months off on a similar wanting just a bit of time out. Had made up my mind just to have a few pints. Took me a good while to get back to where I was.


    We are all different but my advice for what it is worth is by all means spend time with your Da and give him a break, but you don't have to drink. And drinking from a mindset of thinking you just need a break and that you can pick up where you left off is dangerous.


    I know I couldn't and it was a lesson learned the hard way. Sorry to hear about your Da and hope you have some good time together but think long about having to drink as part of that.



    You've really come a long way, Bonnie. It's great to see :)


  • #3665
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I genuinely wasn't sure how long I was off drink, whether it was New Year's Day 2014 or 2015. So that's undoubtedly a good sign. My first post here confirms it was New Year's Day 2014 so that means today I'm 1849 days off alcohol. The most stupid hole I ever fell into. Bar none. Wasted years full of stupid ideas that made "fun" dependent on drinking alcohol. Like a different planet now. I genuinely never miss it - life's far too busy and I want to do so much now that I'm much more aware of how short it is!

    Great to see some old names still here living fuller lives. Beir bua!


  • #3666
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    You've really come a long way, Bonnie. It's great to see :)

    Thanks. I still read the page but seldom post.

    Was a great help to me over the years it took me to finally get it off my back.


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  • #3667
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    drydub wrote: »
    10 months and 22 days today.
    Cruising.
    But life has come at me hard. My dad has a terminal diagnosis and it's a case of when :(
    I'm heart broken and all I want to do is go for a pint with him. We talk about it and he would love it and he's hospital bound and we are trying to work on him getting out of hospital so he can get some air and experience life for one last time. I suppose my head is battling all the emotions that are going on and aside from the pint id love to share with my dad i just want to escape from my head. End rant.

    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.


  • #3668
    votecounts
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,624 ✭✭✭votecounts


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    Sorry for your trouble, fair play for staying sober and long may it continue


  • #3669
    ifeelstupid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 443 ✭✭ifeelstupid


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    So sorry to hear this. I've been sober for almost 16 years and have had many trials and tribulations in the time since my last drink.

    My da died quite suddenly about a year after I stopped drinking, it was the most horrendous time for me because we were very close. Never once did I feel the need/want for a drink. I held on to the fact that he had seen me sober and had told me many times that he was very proud that I had got there.

    It will take time for you to get over this, but you will and there is nothing about it that a drink will make better.

    When the dark days come look back at the good times and the lovely memories of being able to be with your dad to the end and remember how proud he would be of you too.


  • #3670
    mikeecho
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭mikeecho


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    My sincere condolences on the passing of your father , and congratulations on your strength and courage.


  • #3671
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    2 days sober,


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  • #3672
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    On librium and Antabuse , Just started them today.Had my first AA meeting which was great, going again tomorrow Going to be a really hard struggle as i have been kicked out of the house, this is all my fault when am drinking i don't care about anyone just how much drink i can get into myself, So at the moment am in a hotel till Saturday then homeless It can't get any worse can it Am finding it really hard with the breakup worrying about Saturday, and trying not to drink.


  • #3673
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.


  • #3674
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote:
    On librium and Antabuse , Just started them today.Had my first AA meeting which was great, going again tomorrow Going to be a really hard struggle as i have been kicked out of the house, this is all my fault when am drinking i don't care about anyone just how much drink i can get into myself, So at the moment am in a hotel till Saturday then homeless It can't get any worse can it Am finding it really hard with the breakup worrying about Saturday, and trying not to drink.

    Keep going pal. You can do this. I'm back on the wagon. Two days only though but feeling optimistic. We are all here for each other


  • #3675
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote: »
    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.

    Recommend you read a few books as well. Dont wait for them to be delivered, go into Easons and Waterstones and look at buying the naked mind from Annie Grace, its similar to Allen Carr but a good place to start. It helps break down the brain washing in your head


  • #3676
    Sigma Force
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    Look in to rehab maybe?


  • #3677
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    notfromhere wrote: »
    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.

    Every alcoholic has to go through this, as I am sure you know by others sharing their experience in meetings. It isn't fun, but if you persevere you won't ever have to go through early sobriety again. If you do not, this will just become a loop of hell, repeating every few months, and that's if you are lucky. Many alcoholics still die due to alcoholism. Hard to remember sometimes that this is a fatal illness.

    I am sober now many years, thank God, (17 years this week in fact!) but I too was a relapser and I know from my own experience what a horrorshow it is having to get sober AGAIN. However, many of us have traveled the path and come out the other side, which means you can too. That is if you do what we have done.

    I found the internet to be a brilliant tool in helping me recover, here's a Big Book study that showed me how to take the steps, and much to my surprise, it worked, lol. It was so good for those middle of the night head-wrecks when my mind was racing and there were no meetings on.

    Might be of interest:


    I'll be praying for you and if I can help in any way, shoot me a dm.

    A.


  • #3678
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    Hi Lads, Thanks for all the support, Am one week sober today, Feel a lot better this morning, Am looking about getting into rehab as well.Its hard but am going to two meetings a day, and for that hour its so peaceful Will keep you guys updated as much as i can, But again thank you for all the support.


  • #3679
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    One week is a significant milestone.

    You should be over the physical withdrawals or threat of them and in many ways its the most difficult part. So well done and best of luck.


  • #3680
    Schwanz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 898 ✭✭✭Schwanz


    First weekend off it in a long long time.

    Usually sweating in the bed now and fearing the six o'clock rise.

    Feels good


  • #3681
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote: »
    Hi Lads, Thanks for all the support, Am one week sober today, Feel a lot better this morning, Am looking about getting into rehab as well.Its hard but am going to two meetings a day, and for that hour its so peaceful Will keep you guys updated as much as i can, But again thank you for all the support.

    You should really keep a notepad and write down your feelings of the last week.

    In a few weeks when you want to drink, pull out that notepad and it will quickly evaporate those rose tinted glasses that it wasn't as bad as you think.

    You need to keep yourself busy, pick what you used to enjoy or start something new, something that will focus the mind.

    Time is a healer if you let it be and people do forgive when they see the effort you are making


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  • #3682
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Nothing harder than starting again chief. I had to do it myself last week. You are over the worst part. Just try to stay strong and be proud of yourself


  • #3683
    tusk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,882 ✭✭✭tusk


    Just found this thread! I've been off it now for about 9 and a half months. I initially stopped because I became very ill and pegged the drink as one of the contributors.

    As the months have gone on I've realised that maybe that wasn't the case, but there's still a slight fear that any alcohol will send me back that way.

    I sometimes get a craving when I spy a pint or smell some wine, but then I think of how close I am to the year and that focusses me back on track.

    Generally though I don't miss it. I definitely don't miss the 2 or 3 day hangovers. And while I don't think it's had as much a health benefit as I had previiously expected, I can definitely notice that my day to day is somewhat healthier without it.

    Nice to find a thread where I can chat about this without being looked at like a madman.


  • #3684
    Cushtie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 737 ✭✭✭Cushtie


    Just tipped over the 8 year mark there over the last few days. Anyone starting on the way just stick with it. One day becomes two, becomes a week, a fortnight, then a month. Before you Know it a year has passed and you stop counting.


  • #3685
    Chancer3001
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,480 ✭✭✭Chancer3001


    Contemplating year no beer


  • #3686
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Chancer3001 wrote: »
    Contemplating year no beer

    dont contemplate, just do it


  • #3687
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    14 weeks sober today. Helped kick a 30 year binge drinking habit with the help of the Employee Assistance Programme in work who sourced me an addiction councillor and AA meetings.

    I realised numerous times over the years that my drinking wasn't normal but I could always come back to normal after a few days sober and convince myself things were okay.
    Had a very bad run in the last 3 years,two family deaths,a horrific suicide I attended as a first wider,a couple of broken relationships and the suicide of my ex.

    I've always had an outward emotional detachment from my problems but inwardly things were getting to me and my drinking reached new levels when I started taking holidays alone abroad.
    I could sniff out heavy drinkers anywhere on earth and would be drinking from 7am to 4am with two hours nap time in between. Often I'd drink 25 pints and a bottle of spirits in a day and continue this for a week.
    When I got home I'd be physically drained,not eating and suffering terrible insomnia which gave rise to irritability and anxiety...as a result I wasn't popular at work or with my family and with the awareness of that I'd drink more than ever at home.
    I had a polish housemate who literally had booze in bags all round the house and I'd often start drinking that when I ran out.

    I started my final binge after going sick from work and hanging out in my fleapit local with the fellow alcoholics from 10.30am when the pub opened. I did that for 5 days straight and also drank 6 bottles of spirits in that time. I've always kept fit,attended gym etc and I realised I wasn't eating to negate the effect of all the calories from drinking (as I saw it)..felt weak and sick and my grip on reality was slowly fading as I embraced the lifestyle of a fulltime drinker.
    I thin ultimately what saved me was somebody I no longer talked to had made enquiries about me and found from talking to people that I was in the pub all day for a week.
    He cared enough about me to ring a few of my friends to say he was worried about me and one rang my 'estranged ' sister who rang me in tears to try and get me to seek help.

    I did,thank God and I've been sober since.


  • #3688
    tinpib
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,507 ✭✭✭tinpib


    That's a very honest account, Enbalmer. Glad to hear things are improving for you.


  • #3689
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    The Enbalmer wrote:
    14 weeks sober today. Helped kick a 30 year binge drinking habit with the help of the Employee Assistance Programme in work who sourced me an addiction councillor and AA meetings.

    tinpib wrote:
    That's a very honest account, Enbalmer. Glad to hear things are improving for you.

    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"


  • #3690
    Hedgelayer
    Registered Users Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Hedgelayer


    The Enbalmer wrote: »
    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"

    AA is ok for someone who accepts guidance from an unprofessional who could be as mad as a box of frog's.

    I am very sceptical about 12 step programme's and their Christian root's.

    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.

    I'm told AA is full of misfits, weirdos, and the good old crossing your boundaries I just want an inappropriate hug kind of ilk.

    I read a lot about it, and strangely enough people who left AA for the right reasons are way my happier without it.

    I think it only has a 5% success rate.
    But the bleeding deacon's of AA will say its Only the chosen few who'll make it.

    Look If you're going to drink nothing is going to stop you.
    Good luck with your journey.
    But be wary of those parasite's in AA I'd say 5% of them are sane the rest are nuts.


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  • #3691
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    AA is what it is,it's a bunch of people who have suffered as a result of alcoholism and it's a support group as such.
    I personally havnt been following the 12 principles as some of the ideas are a bit nebulous (remember this was founded in the 30s).
    The group's contain very few nutters in my experience but that could well depend on the area..some people are decidedly more ****ed up than others but that's drinking for you.
    There's no particular Christian influence but they refer to "God as we understand it"..I think that's fair enough,a lot of people benefit from some form of spirituality so as long as there's no attempts to get people to join a cult I don't see the problem really.
    I don't know about % of successful adherents but most of my group are sober 10 years or more.
    I guess it is what it is,if it helps it shouldn't be decried.


  • #3692
    Mearings
    Registered Users Posts: 559 ✭✭✭Mearings


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.


    Could be it made them sober enough to realise how awful they were, drunk or sober.


  • #3693
    aabarnes1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    AA is ok for someone who accepts guidance from an unprofessional who could be as mad as a box of frog's.

    I am very sceptical about 12 step programme's and their Christian root's.

    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.

    I'm told AA is full of misfits, weirdos, and the good old crossing your boundaries I just want an inappropriate hug kind of ilk.

    I read a lot about it, and strangely enough people who left AA for the right reasons are way my happier without it.

    I think it only has a 5% success rate.
    But the bleeding deacon's of AA will say its Only the chosen few who'll make it.

    Look If you're going to drink nothing is going to stop you.
    Good luck with your journey.
    But be wary of those parasite's in AA I'd say 5% of them are sane the rest are nuts.

    Hi Hedgelayer
    I read your post with interest then I smiled, I too felt like you described initially. I thought AA wasn't to be trusted and I was different, I wasn't like any of these people.
    I would just like to clarify a couple of things for you, as it seems you have been given a very negative and biased view of AA.

    The AA program is rooted in Spirituality, There are certain Christian values referred to, but it was written in a Christian country,by 100 men and women who had recovered. But there is no Christian annals to be followed or adhered to, just your own concept of whatever you think is up there.
    The 'friends' you describe that say they were worse person sober, were probably telling the truth, but AA did little to make them that way. Untreated alcoholism was possibly more to blame. Just sitting in meetings and sharing does not get a real alcoholic sober.

    There are a few people in AA who have issues other that alcohol, and I am sure that there have been occasional out of bounds hugs, but I can assure you they are a rarity rather than the norm. You will probably see more inappropriate hugging on Dame st at 2.00 pm in the morning on a daily basis, than you ever will in AA. That's a bit like saying all priests are guilty.
    There is no documented success rate in Ireland or the UK, attendance is Anonymous, so 5% is pie in the sky my friend.

    The question is have YOU had enough, are you beaten, are you sick of repeating the same old behaviour? The first step in recovery is admitting to your innermost self that your alcoholic.
    Then you are on your journey.

    All the very best.


  • #3694
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    @ Hedgelayer - if it only works for the 5%, at least it has changed the lives of 5%

    Personally i wouldnt go for it.

    Personally i wasn't drinking everyday, more like once a week or once a fortnight and that was enough to show me once i went to the pub i wouldn't leave sober, more like pissed out of my mind and i got to the point where i thought this is crap and i hated wasted my Saturday in a puib getting drunk and my Sunday recovering. I think as you get a bit older and i am only 36, you realise what a waste it is to work all week and waste your time off.

    What got it for me was the same automated responses why people drink, the same gossiping and begrudgery from those drinkers towards anyone and everyone, the fact that everyone you know from the pub is getting progressively worse either on a fast scale or a slow scale but still worse on the drink and health wise than they were a year or 2 ago.

    For me reading Allen Carr and Annie Grace put it in words and perspective that i needed, i know deep down thats what i was thinking just needed it explained a bit better.

    @ The Enbalmer, well done on 14 weeks, i am sure your family and friends are delighted and proud of you. They will be fearful of a relapse though so that should be your motivation also to prove this is a permanent change. Take up a new hobbie as well, start running or cycling. Good luck on your journey. i just counted there and i haven't drank in 154 days, you stop thinking about it after a while, you tend to count at the start.


  • #3695
    realdanbreen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,216 ✭✭✭realdanbreen


    The Enbalmer wrote: »
    AA is what it is,it's a bunch of people who have suffered as a result of alcoholism and it's a support group as such.
    I personally havnt been following the 12 principles as some of the ideas are a bit nebulous (remember this was founded in the 30s).
    The group's contain very few nutters in my experience but that could well depend on the area..some people are decidedly more ****ed up than others but that's drinking for you.
    There's no particular Christian influence but they refer to "God as we understand it"..I think that's fair enough,a lot of people benefit from some form of spirituality so as long as there's no attempts to get people to join a cult I don't see the problem really.
    I don't know about % of successful adherents but most of my group are sober 10 years or more.
    I guess it is what it is,if it helps it shouldn't be decried.


    Probably as good a summing up of AA as I have come across. I don't drink today because I attended AA years ago. Like yourself I don't adhere to the 12 steps as recommended and some AA members would frown on that. Like any group of people there will be some you get on well with and others that would wreck your head but all in all it got me off the booze.


  • #3696
    Sigma Force
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    Like with anything AA can work great for some and not for others because everyone is different. But there are other options like smart recovery or bcat and as they say in AA take what you want and leave the rest behind. So if you can get into that mind set you can choose what you are comfortable with and the spiritual side doesn't have to be about a god.


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  • #3697
    Foweva Awone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Sigma Force wrote: »
    Like with anything AA can work great for some and not for others because everyone is different. But there are other options like smart recovery or bcat and as they say in AA take what you want and leave the rest behind. So if you can get into that mind set you can choose what you are comfortable with and the spiritual side doesn't have to be about a god.

    I've never heard that in AA ... they actually discourage an a la carte approach.


  • #3698
    Tinwhistle*
    Registered Users Posts: 224 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    The Enbalmer wrote: »
    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"

    Great story with a very happy ending! I'm 241 days sober today, wish I'd have quit sooner, but hey ho :)


  • #3699
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Not stressed and not tempted but felt it was time to check in and read how well everyone else is doing.

    One year no drink last Tuesday and delighted with it. Has made me think quite a bit about how i protected my sobriety at the start and now that im kind of cruising that i am lucky and fortunate to be out of the fog and pressure.

    The early times were tough and not only with my own battles but my battles with everyone else.
    Now that i am a year, its like a badge i wear with pride and i am noticing the questions now taking the tack of "Will you ever drink again?" which to me is dangerous. If you say never , il end up drinking. But for now im happy to say im not drinking now and my plan is to not drink in the future.

    Thanks for your messages about my dads passing. Its been tough month but it would have been hell of a lot tougher if i was in a stupour and worse still if i was justifying the stupour on the death of someone i loved. I embraced the clarity and the ability to remember the great moments before his passing.

    Good luck with all your decisions this weekend and i hope you all have strength.


  • #3700
    Tinwhistle*
    Registered Users Posts: 224 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    drydub wrote: »
    Not stressed and not tempted but felt it was time to check in and read how well everyone else is doing.

    One year no drink last Tuesday and delighted with it. Has made me think quite a bit about how i protected my sobriety at the start and now that im kind of cruising that i am lucky and fortunate to be out of the fog and pressure.

    The early times were tough and not only with my own battles but my battles with everyone else.
    Now that i am a year, its like a badge i wear with pride and i am noticing the questions now taking the tack of "Will you ever drink again?" which to me is dangerous. If you say never , il end up drinking. But for now im happy to say im not drinking now and my plan is to not drink in the future.

    Thanks for your messages about my dads passing. Its been tough month but it would have been hell of a lot tougher if i was in a stupour and worse still if i was justifying the stupour on the death of someone i loved. I embraced the clarity and the ability to remember the great moments before his passing.

    Good luck with all your decisions this weekend and i hope you all have strength.

    I think if we can deal with a close relative passing, we can handle anything, and to to it sober is the best way, well done.


  • #3701
    Sigma Force
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    Foweva Awone wrote: »
    I've never heard that in AA ... they actually discourage an a la carte approach.

    I think what they mean is take what is helpful to you and your recovery and leave what isn't helpful to you behind


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