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Ready to come out and transition - any advice?

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  • 02-06-2020 1:02am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    When I was a child I always felt girly, but in the situation I grew up I couldn't do anything about it except in my imagination. Then when girls at school started growing boobs, I got jealous. When I got my own flat, one of the first things I did was get myself some ladies pyjamas, followed soon after by other girly clothes and some makeup.

    At first my private "girl time" felt amazing. I could feel true to myself and chill out like never before, and for quite some time that was good enough. The girl time has now become the new normal, and every time I leave home - always in boy clothes - it just feels wrong. I don't want to have to change out of my girl clothes and makeup before I go outside like it's some kind of secret shame anymore.

    It used to terrify me that if people found out, I'd be isolated, mocked, ridiculed, talked about and so on, but that doesn't really matter anymore. Even if people won't accept me as a woman, to me now that is no worse than them accepting me as a man.

    I'm at the point now I need to start just being myself and stop hiding. I want a nice hair style, possibly try lip fillers, definitely get my eyebrows thinned and shaped, my nails done, my ears pierced (any maybe even a tiny nose stud), my legs waxed, a spray tan and so on...... Stuff I've been longing to do for ages.

    Just hoping other people who have been there before me can give me some helpful advice.


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  • Options
    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Dances with Leprechauns wrote: »
    When I was a child I always felt girly, but in the situation I grew up I couldn't do anything about it except in my imagination. Then when girls at school started growing boobs, I got jealous. When I got my own flat, one of the first things I did was get myself some ladies pyjamas, followed soon after by other girly clothes and some makeup.

    At first my private "girl time" felt amazing. I could feel true to myself and chill out like never before, and for quite some time that was good enough. The girl time has now become the new normal, and every time I leave home - always in boy clothes - it just feels wrong. I don't want to have to change out of my girl clothes and makeup before I go outside like it's some kind of secret shame anymore.

    It used to terrify me that if people found out, I'd be isolated, mocked, ridiculed, talked about and so on, but that doesn't really matter anymore. Even if people won't accept me as a woman, to me now that is no worse than them accepting me as a man.

    I'm at the point now I need to start just being myself and stop hiding. I want a nice hair style, possibly try lip fillers, definitely get my eyebrows thinned and shaped, my nails done, my ears pierced (any maybe even a tiny nose stud), my legs waxed, a spray tan and so on...... Stuff I've been longing to do for ages.

    Just hoping other people who have been there before me can give me some helpful advice.

    I can't give you any advice really, but, I wish you all the best. It will be a long hard road and it's not all about wearing girly clothes, makeup and jewellery. Do you have supportive family and friends, what about work and work colleagues.
    I was the same in my teenage years, any chance I got I would dress up and gave serious consideration to transitioning, for me I felt I would lose much more than I would gain by transitioning, plus I wasn't brave enough to go through with it. I still love dressing up and am often jealous when I see women in nice outfits.
    Do as much research as you can, try to talk to others who have gone through the process (I know that's what you're doing here)and if you think this is what's best for you and you have a good support network around you then go for it. Good luck and all the best.


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    #3
    Tango Foxtrot
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭Tango Foxtrot


    Dances with Leprechauns wrote: »
    'm at the point now I need to start just being myself and stop hiding. I want a nice hair style, possibly try lip fillers, definitely get my eyebrows thinned and shaped, my nails done, my ears pierced (any maybe even a tiny nose stud), my legs waxed, a spray tan and so on...... Stuff I've been longing to do for ages.

    Congratulations on opening your feelings to yourself. And welcome to the exciting and very confusing state of being "trans".

    I am personally out of the closet and can do whatever I want. I cried through multiple waxing sessions, my eyebrows are nicely shaped, ears are pierced and I am very good with makeup. Before the current virus scare, i went out dressed and more. But I still cannot decide whether to start the medical transition or to keep my femme ego part time.

    There is no single path. You may get an appointment with a psychologist and get the gender disphoria diagnosis. After that you could get the appointment (in 2-3 years) to start hrt. Or you could just grow your hair, do the nails and dress as a woman without the transition .

    I cannot post links, but I find "transit" org uk a very informative site. Also look for TENI.


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