Benefits of the #Me Too Movement

RTE is a load of sh1te.

This clip from the Simpson sums up my thoughts of the movement:

I've always agreed with the me too movement as far as rape, assault, and harassment go (although the public trial by social media with no recourse to actually deny the allegations and not have one's reputation destroyed is f*cked up) - but, as usual, the problem is that the definition of "sexual harassment" has been stretched too wide to be taken without a pinch of salt. A once off comment, fishing for reciprocation, is not harassment - harassment takes place over a time period and involves persistence after being rebuked. Being sexually forward and unmoderated in one's language is not and should not be regarded as wrongdoing, unless it fails to stop after being rebuked. Verbally hitting on another adult once or twice can never in my view be regarded as wrongdoing.

If the various feminist movements legitimately trying to tackle the very real and nasty subculture of people who think that groping people or riding someone who's unconscious is ok would make an effort to separate themselves from the "lewd comments can count as harassment even with no pre-history" and "if you get drunk in a club and enthusiastically participate in sex, you were still raped" puritanical idiots, I'd have a much, much easier time getting behind it. As it happens, the umbrella is simply too large at this point and there are so many different behaviours being swept into the banner of "sexual wrongdoing" that, in my view, it's probably almost impossible to find average people who don't have serious misgivings about at least some of it.

In my view, there should be two separate and distinct categories used when we talk about this:

1: Sexual assault - physically sexual contact without consent, plain and simple. Everything from groping to rape. Most people wouldn't disagree on this.
2: Sexual harassment - *persistent* sexual attention after one has made it clear that they are not interested and that it makes them uncomfortable.

As far as I'm concerned, any sexual behaviour which does not fall into one of those two groups is, by definition, not "wrong". It can be subjectively unpleasant, sure, but it can equally be enjoyable and indeed lead to enjoyable sexual encounters or even relationships. Some people might find sexually forward comments, fishing for reciprocation and potentially eventual hooking up, offensive or unpleasant - but an equal, or most likely far larger, number of people find these an enjoyable aspect of life.

The sweeping in of categories other than actual wrongdoing into the banner of sexual harassment is, in my view, really about a clash of introverts vs extroverts. And I don't see why extroverts should have to assume that being introverted is "the norm" and self-censor their behaviour or language accordingly - in my view, if you're sexually introverted and open sexuality makes you uncomfortable, it's your job to tell people that. If they persist in making you uncomfortable intentionally, then it is indeed sexual harassment. But nobody should have to assume that asking someone out or complimenting their appearance is going to be taken badly, because (at least in my experience) the vast majority of people enjoy it and are open to it.

The metoo movement has been fantastic. It opened up a conversation about sexual harassment and abuse like never before. As a woman ive been sexually harassed more times than I can count, from being 14 and followed through town on a Saturday afternoon by two grown men, having my ass slapped by a middle aged man while leaving the cinema at 15, been called a slut by a man across the street because I didnt respond to his cat calls at age 22, at 17 teenage boys telling me 'shut up' because im 'just a stupid woman', boyfriends telling their mates about what they did to me in the bedroom, the man who followed me home late one night after id repeatedly told him I was not interested in having a relationship with him. I could go on and on and not even touch the surface, these examples a extremely light and mundane compared to scenarios ive been in with men where ive felt degraded, afraid and dealt with aftermaths of trauma. I never spoke about these experiences because I didnt know how to, women were constantly being called liars, prudes, too sensitive or asking for it when they divulged their own experiences so it was always ingrained in me that talking about it made me look bad and might even get me into trouble.
Besides this I knew all my female friends had experiences just like mine, id heard them mention things, id seen things happen to them, it just seemed normal, like this is how the world is for women and we were expected to shut up and deal with it. Terrified walking past a group of men for fear that at the very least they might pass some comment on our appearance or what they wanted us to do to their d!ck, worse case scenario they would grab, grope or follow.

Im not saying these situations dont happen to men, they do, but the imbalance is that they most commonly happen to women, regularly, the biggest killer for women is male partners and when ever I hear men talk about their experiences of harassment or sexual assault - although valid they consist of one or two events in which they felt a woman was being a little over the top or to forceful. They dont understand how common place these experiences are for women and god help a girl if she's pretty, she can literally become a bag of meat in the eyes of men. Women have every right to speak up about what theyve experienced and I dont know why men have a problem with that? Do they feel threatened? blamed? or do they expect women to remain quiet and put up with it? Any man that ive encountered who has been strongly in opposition to the Metoo movement has generally been known for treating women badly, sexist comments and belittling women.

Since the metoo movement, from speaking to friends, we've felt that our experiences are acknowledged and called out for what they are, we didnt feel shame any longer or like we must have done something to cause that behavior from men. Ive also noticed a big change in how men respond to women in public, particularly young men and although they might stare and make their feelings of attraction known, they leave out the intimidating behavior and smutty comments and generally seem to speak to women as people.

I cant see how anyone could find fault with it? Its done nothing by improve peoples lives, the only people who have had any sort of negative backlash from the movement are rapists and sexists.