If you had to rob a bank...

Wanderer2010 · 25-04-2019 9:54pm #1

With all these ATMs getting ripped out of walls, it got me thinking..

If you were tasked with robbing a bank and holding up a staff member for at least an hour with a handgun until the safe opened, BUT you were guaranteed to get a million at the end of it and never to get caught, what would you find hardest about doing it? Kind of like The Purge but with a specific scenario!

punisher5112 · 25-04-2019 9:55pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

With all these ATMs getting ripped out of walls, it got me thinking..

If you were tasked with robbing a bank and holding up a staff member for at least an hour with a handgun until the safe opened, BUT you were guaranteed to get a million at the end of it and never to get caught, what would you find hardest about doing it? Kind of like The Purge but with a specific scenario!

I would feel terrible it wasn't more....

A mill wouldn't buy enough hookers and coke....

Your Face · 25-04-2019 9:58pm

As long as I get to indulge my insatiable bloodlust.

LessOutragePlz · 25-04-2019 10:01pm

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Just give me a bank and I'll rob a few billion and share it with everyone on boards.

Vowel Movement · 25-04-2019 10:02pm

I'd probably get a cramp in my finger and end up poping a cap in the staff member by accident

Arghus · 25-04-2019 10:03pm

Yep, I'd down for that.

25-04-2019 10:05pm

Hardest part would be when you go to make your first purchase, a lovely new sporty motor. And when you're driving out of the showroom Revenue stop you and say 'where'd you get the cash, you thievin' cnut!?' and you spend the rest of your life in a prison cell with Father Purcell.

(or at least, knowing my luck, that's pretty much how it'd go).

Force Carrier · 25-04-2019 10:11pm

A good number of years ago they brought in time lock safes and other features that made traditional bank robberies obsolete.

Tiger kidnapping became the viable replacement.

Irishphotodesk · 25-04-2019 10:16pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

With all these ATMs getting ripped out of walls, it got me thinking..

If you were tasked with robbing a bank and holding up a staff member for at least an hour with a handgun until the safe opened, BUT you were guaranteed to get a million at the end of it and never to get caught, what would you find hardest about doing it? Kind of like The Purge but with a specific scenario!

Hardest part would be spending without arousing suspicion, the rest seems possible.

Watched a tv series on Netflix recently, a group of people intentionally cause a hostage situation at a Spanish national mint (they literally printed their own money)

rgodard80a · 25-04-2019 10:17pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

what would you find hardest about doing it?!

Terrorising an innocent worker would hardest, someone decent contributing to society probably with a family.

But if it were Ulster Bank and the CEO that decided to start introducing 20+ cent transaction charges etc on the customers who actually stayed with the bank after its utterly incompetent I.T. meltdown years ago I'd have no problem. Will enjoy closing my accounts with them soon.

washman3 · 25-04-2019 10:17pm

Best way to rob a bank is to own one.
Ask any of our glorious banksters from the Celtic Tiger era.
They not only robbed the banks but also robbed the country blind.
Did a single one of them ever spend a day in prison.??

26-04-2019 2:26am

washman3 wrote: »

Best way to rob a bank is to own one.
Ask any of our glorious banksters from the Celtic Tiger era.
They not only robbed the banks but also robbed the country blind.
Did a single one of them ever spend a day in prison.??

This. x 1000

greencap · 26-04-2019 3:09am

If its all guaranteed the hardest part would be either telling someone to stfu, or pulling the taser trigger to help them understand fully.

maybe there'd be some bodily excretions to deal with too.

i'd have to bring some febreeze.

26-04-2019 3:37am

Hardest part would be finding an employee who's an arsehole and deserves it more than the others.

AllForIt · 26-04-2019 4:41am

Shooting dead one person to show the rest of them you mean business.

Nikki Sixx · 26-04-2019 6:42am

You would never get away with it nowadays. A surprising number of u.s. cops have been involved in bank robberies. If I had to rob one it would be a Bank of Ireland branch, due to a personal dislike of them.

Wanderer78 · 26-04-2019 7:02am

Bill black, 'the best way to rob a bank, is to own one'!

Irishphotodesk · 26-04-2019 8:27am

washman3 wrote: »

Best way to rob a bank is to own one.
Ask any of our glorious banksters from the Celtic Tiger era.
They not only robbed the banks but also robbed the country blind.
Did a single one of them ever spend a day in prison.??

Answer to your question, YES ! A number of the execs went to prison.

Did enough of them go to prison ? Not in my opinion.
Did they get long enough ? Not in my opinion.

pure.conya · 26-04-2019 10:57am

you wouldn't download an atm!?!

pure.conya · 26-04-2019 10:58am

Irishphotodesk wrote: »

Answer to your question, YES ! A number of the execs went to prison.

Did enough of them go to prison ? Not in my opinion.
Did they get long enough ? Not in my opinion.

barely a token jesture

Odyssey 2005 · 26-04-2019 11:00am

The "Shadow " strikes again

Sorry about that · 26-04-2019 11:02am

The fear of someone recognising me. The embarrassment would cause cardiac arrest- more embarrassment.

ziedth · 26-04-2019 11:07am

Where I used to live in maybe the early 90's local bank was robbed. Went in through a skylight pretending to be builders (In the night time but it was a simpler time and. Seemingly the dogs in the street knew who did it and the house was watched for years but as far as i'm aware they never bought so much as a lotto extra. Would make you wonder why they did it in the first place or maybe they have moved on since. Been a good few years since I was out that way.

Azizur Rahman · 26-04-2019 11:16am

Would have to be a bank in a rural village, the kind where there would be no guards within 10 miles. But I'd probably make the mistake of robbing it on the day there's no cash withdrawals....

fryup · 26-04-2019 11:43am

rob the bank by wearing masks of ex-taoiseagh ...ala Point Break

RobbingBandit · 26-04-2019 11:44am

I'd bring a bunch of clowns to draw the attention away.

Wanderer2010 · 26-04-2019 2:50pm

Best thing would be to enjoy the money knowing you got away with it..
Hardest being i wouldnt want to hurt anyone in the process.

omega man · 26-04-2019 2:58pm

fryup wrote: »

rob the bank by wearing masks of ex-taoiseagh ...ala Point Break

This. A Charles Haughey mask then go surfing afterwards or maybe just a night beach session with the other ex Taoiseagh and an undercover Garda or two...

Deebles McBeebles · 26-04-2019 3:06pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

If you were tasked with robbing a bank and holding up a staff member for at least an hour with a handgun until the safe opened, BUT you were guaranteed to get a million at the end of it and never to get caught, what would you find hardest about doing it?

Once I can conceal the handgun, I don't wanna stick it in someones mouth for an hour (oooh Matron!) and keep myself level/calm....I don't think I would find it hard.

Hedgelayer · 26-04-2019 3:07pm

Id probably rob a seed bank but more than likely it'll be a more severe job...

All those jaundice looking vegan social justice warriors with pitch forks could be intimidating.

Id have to grab a hoe to fight them off, then more than likely the bastards will have all the seeds labeled in Latin and that'll mean I'll need a hostage for an interpreter.

I could have a spray gun armed with Monsantos most potent chemical, but really red lemonade.

Ill end up in the Hague for chemical warfare...

Actually I couldn't do it, too much hassle, because ill end up having to surf aileens and handcuffed to a guard from Ennistymon....

mynamejeff · 26-04-2019 3:18pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

what would you find hardest about doing it? Kind of like The Purge but with a specific scenario!

spending all my new money

Nikki Sixx · 01-05-2019 6:53pm

omega man wrote: »

This. A Charles Haughey mask then go surfing afterwards or maybe just a night beach session with the other ex Taoiseagh and an undercover Garda or two...

Just be careful not to leave an undercover garda into your gang.

If you had to rob a bank...

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