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Amother crush thread!

  • 23-12-2012 5:35pm
    #1
    1fm
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭


    Hello all,

    I know this type of thread has been done a hundred times on here, but any advice or thoughts would be appreciated!

    Basically to set the scene, I'm 25, moved to London 2 years ago. Being in the big city has let me a bit bolder and braver than when I was back living at home:D

    Exactly a year ago I first met up with a nice English guy through Gaydar of all things. Starting the thread now as I realised I've been mulling the situation over for 12 months at this stage!!

    He's the same age, bit of a country boy like myself, and have plenty of similar interests when it comes to sports and stuff. Over the past year he has probably become one of my best mates in London, while we don't meet up every week, mostly due to being on opposite sides of the city, weve been to loads of random events over the past year, from airshows to concerts:)

    At no time however have we ever approached being anything but just good friends. Pretty sure he, like myself is single but despite having a massive crush (he's very cute)I have never asked him out on a proper date. Guess I'm just concerned that I don't want to risk our friendship and make things awkward over a silly crush. It has crossed my mind that as he hasen't made any move either, I might not be his type.

    Basically any advice anybody would have would be good to hear. Should I be happy to have just a good mate or be bold enough to ask him out in the new year. My gut feel says just be happy with what we have currently.

    Thanks for listening!


Comments

  • #2
    Walker77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 93 ✭✭Walker77


    1fm wrote: »
    Hello all,

    I know this type of thread has been done a hundred times on here, but any advice or thoughts would be appreciated!

    Basically to set the scene, I'm 25, moved to London 2 years ago. Being in the big city has let me a bit bolder and braver than when I was back living at home:D

    Exactly a year ago I first met up with a nice English guy through Gaydar of all things. Starting the thread now as I realised I've been mulling the situation over for 12 months at this stage!!

    He's the same age, bit of a country boy like myself, and have plenty of similar interests when it comes to sports and stuff. Over the past year he has probably become one of my best mates in London, while we don't meet up every week, mostly due to being on opposite sides of the city, weve been to loads of random events over the past year, from airshows to concerts:)

    At no time however have we ever approached being anything but just good friends. Pretty sure he, like myself is single but despite having a massive crush (he's very cute)I have never asked him out on a proper date. Guess I'm just concerned that I don't want to risk our friendship and make things awkward over a silly crush. It has crossed my mind that as he hasen't made any move either, I might not be his type.

    Basically any advice anybody would have would be good to hear. Should I be happy to have just a good mate or be bold enough to ask him out in the new year. My gut feel says just be happy with what we have currently.

    Thanks for listening!

    From what you describe you seemed to have a bit in common and enjoy each others company. I was in exactly that position with my boyfriend. I was really into him and was terrified he would get board with me. One day while out shopping with my boyfriend got hold of his hand and he did not let it go and I think my heart stopped for a couple of seconds and luckily we are still together. Take care and good luck


  • #3
    Tainor
    Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭Tainor


    Walker77 wrote: »
    From what you describe you seemed to have a bit in common and enjoy each others company. I was in exactly that position with my boyfriend. I was really into him and was terrified he would get board with me. One day while out shopping with my boyfriend got hold of his hand and he did not let it go and I think my heart stopped for a couple of seconds and luckily we are still together. Take care and good luck

    Wow that sounds really sweet :)

    As to the original poster I would say, if you have been friends for what seem like an year and have enjoyed each other company, then perhaps he might also been considering the fact that it can grow into something more.

    He knows your personality well from what it seems and enjoys hanging out with you. My advice would be consider it, just approach it lightly don't go head on approach, it is natural as a gay person to be attracted to other men, I suppose he should understand this, and you also like his personality so it's not based on purely physical attraction.

    Talk about it bring it up, I suppose either he will be into you or not, but as things go I think you will still have your friendship whether you go on to be couple or not.


  • #4
    Domyno
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Domyno


    This sounds like the sort of opportunity you'll regret later if you don't give it a go. I mean, there's obviously no guarantee he'll be interested in you too, but if you do go for it just make it clear you don't want to lose him as a friend either way.

    Also, if these feelings have been building up over the last year, it may get to the stage where you find it hard to be 'just friends'. Maybe it'd be better to find out one way or the other before it gets to that stage. And if he doesn't feel the same you can start trying to move on rather than crushing on him in silence.

    I dunno, it's easy for me to say that but I don't know what I'd actually do in your situation. It could be the start of a great relationship but is it worth potentially complicating the friendship to find out... The romantic in me says go for it and good luck :D


  • #5
    mackD
    Registered Users Posts: 156 ✭✭mackD


    I think you've missed the crossroads for a relationship and find yourself firmly down the "friendship" road now as it has been over a year without any hints of romance.
    Usually there would be have been some signals at this stage if he was romantically interested but seems like he is happy being friends.
    You've probably gained more anyway as friendships last a lifetime, unlike relationships.


  • #6
    1fm
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭1fm


    Thanks for the replys all, as I was thinking myself there is no easy answer!
    I think you've missed the crossroads for a relationship and find yourself firmly down the "friendship" road now as it has been over a year without any hints of romance.
    Usually there would be have been some signals at this stage if he was romantically interested but seems like he is happy being friends.
    You've probably gained more anyway as friendships last a lifetime, unlike relationships.

    Mack D I'm inclined to agree with you. While the odd subtle hint is harmless, I think I should be grateful to have a good buddy at least.
    It could be the start of a great relationship but is it worth potentially complicating the friendship to find out... The romantic in me says go for it and good luck :D

    Thats hitting the nail on the head, if there is any news either way I'll give a little update:D


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  • #7
    Walker77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 93 ✭✭Walker77


    1fm wrote: »
    Thanks for the replys all, as I was thinking myself there is no easy answer!



    Mack D I'm inclined to agree with you. While the odd subtle hint is harmless, I think I should be grateful to have a good buddy at least.



    Thats hitting the nail on the head, if there is any news either way I'll give a little update:D


    I am sad to see that you feel that there will be no more to your relationship. I really hope that it works out the way you want. I want you to come back with good news. happy new year


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