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I've been out drinking and I came out to my sister!

  • 21-07-2012 3:56am
    #1
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭


    As the title goes, I was out drinking heavily till now and and I ended up coming out to my sister and one of my friends by text. It's so late right now and I'm absolutely pissed right now but I'm freaking out because I feel I've done something stupid.

    I'm actually really stressing right now because I know I should have done it in person but I just don't seem to have the balls. I'm ****ing a brick right now!:(


Comments

  • #2
    AodhDub
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭AodhDub


    Ha, you're not the first guy to do this. It'll be for the best in the long run. Now you can discuss guys together and stuff!

    Hopefully this will help when it comes to the sober follow-up post tomorrow...


  • #3
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,305 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    If you want to stay in the closet for a bit longer, tell them that it's a prank by someone who got your phone.

    Or take it as is, and it may be easier to come out, as you've kind of already "broken the ice" as such.


  • #4
    joseph brand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,537 ✭✭✭joseph brand


    First day of the rest of your life. Good luck. I don't thinks it's as big a deal as it used to be ( those around you).


  • #5
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I got woken up today by a rock breaker in the field beside me at 09:30. Great.
    Got no reply off my sister though!? Kind of dissapointed in that. I'm hoping this will be a big push to get myself out there and maybe it was for the best? I don't want to play it off as a joke but I really wish I was drunk right now to follow through!!!


  • #6
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    Depends on how close the relationship is with your sister but if I was you I'd ring her and try meet up with her to talk it through. She may be a little disappointed that it came out this way, but now it's out for your sake and the sake of the relationship going forward finishing the process as quick as possible may be the best approach!


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  • #7
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    stephen_n wrote: »
    Depends on how close the relationship is with your sister but if I was you I'd ring her and try meet up with her to talk it through. She may be a little disappointed that it came out this way, but now it's out for your sake and the sake of the relationship going forward finishing the process as quick as possible may be the best approach!

    Oh fcuk this sh1t is real isn't it!:/ Well not until I get out of bed anyway at least!;)

    Yeah we are kind of close. The least out of all my sisters but it's funny she's the only one I wanted to tell.

    My sisters boyfriend just text me saying I heard about your big news. Well fcuk!:mad: I said in the text I wanted it between us for now. She still hasnt text me though. But what could I really expect from a drunken text I suppose.

    I realise this was a bad way to go but it's a good kick up the ass to get things in the right direction.


  • #8
    JH_raheny
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,005 ✭✭✭JH_raheny


    well done, rest of your new life have started and it'll be a happier one :-)
    **** the regrets about how you broke the news, what's done is done and it was obviously the easiest way for you


  • #9
    norrie rugger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,656 ✭✭✭norrie rugger


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Oh fcuk this sh1t is real isn't it!:/ Well not until I get out of bed anyway at least!;)

    Yeah we are kind of close. The least out of all my sisters but it's funny she's the only one I wanted to tell.

    My sisters boyfriend just text me saying I heard about your big news. Well fcuk!:mad: I said in the text I wanted it between us for now. She still hasnt text me though. But what could I really expect from a drunken text I suppose.

    I realise this was a bad way to go but it's a good kick up the ass to get things in the right direction.


    Well the fact that her boyfriend is after texting you in a non cautious way could mean that they are discussing it and it is not causing offence/disappointment/surprise, in their household. Why would he text you, so casually, if your sister was going ape mental?

    I think that you need to call around lad


  • #10
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    Maybe not the most subtle way of telling your sister/family :rolleyes: ;) But it is done. When you sent it by text while drunk - you must have really wanting to tell her for ages. She might not be too impressed with the way you told her though. Ask her to meet you for lunch or something or later for a drink.

    Hope it goes ok now with her & and she accepts it ok.


  • #11
    ceegee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,235 ✭✭✭ceegee


    There seems to be a trend in your threads regarding drink. Either come out completely or lay off the sauce for a while.
    Blurting drunken confessions to people is more likely to make things more complicated for you


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  • #12
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    ****! This is turning into a complete disaster!!! My other sister landed into to me asking questions why I sent a text at 4:30 saying I'm gay.

    She didn't even reply to me at all! even her ****ing boyfriend text me but she told my other sister! And my mom is on my phone talking to my OTHER sister in Australia for the last hour so I can't sort things out!

    **** **** ****!:mad:


    Once I get my phone I'm going to tell her to go **** herself. Prank or not she should have texted me to find out. And I told her that I'd appreciate it if it was kept between us! I don't care I'm pissed off.


  • #13
    norrie rugger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,656 ✭✭✭norrie rugger


    1ZRed wrote: »
    ****! This is turning into a complete disaster!!! My other sister landed into to me asking questions why I sent a text at 4:30 saying I'm gay.

    She didn't even reply to me at all! even her ****ing boyfriend text me but she told my other sister! And my mom is on my phone talking to my OTHER sister in Australia for the last hour so I can't sort things out!

    **** **** ****!:mad:

    Calm down first. Are they pissed off that you are gay or the way that you came out??
    You need to take control of the situation, sitting back is what is causing it all to blow up. Forgive this but the genie is out of the bottle and you need to grow a pair and talk to people. Your inaction is what is causing this "disaster".

    It is done now, how it proceeds is up to you. Good luck


    Edit: The phone bill!!!


  • #14
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    norrie rugger wrote: »
    Calm down first. Are they pissed off that you are gay or the way that you came out??
    You need to take control of the situation, sitting back is what is causing it all to blow up. Forgive this but the genie is out of the bottle and you need to grow a pair and talk to people. Your inaction is what is causing this "disaster".

    It is done now, how it proceeds is up to you. Good luck


    Edit: The phone bill!!!

    My mom is on my phone for over an hour talking to my sister in Australia! I fully get that I'm the one that ****ed up majorly.
    Once my phone is free I want to sort things out but I have to wait for her to shut the **** up first.
    I know it's my own fault though.


  • #15
    norrie rugger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,656 ✭✭✭norrie rugger


    1ZRed wrote: »
    My mom is on my phone for over an hour talking to my sister in Australia! I fully get that I'm the one that ****ed up majorly.
    Once my phone is free I want to sort things out but I have to wait for her to shut the **** up first.
    I know it's my own fault though.

    hahaha, look it really sounds like it could be a hell of a lot worse though.
    In all seriousness it seems like they are a bit shocked and no one is saying "you are gay?? leave me alone"??
    I could think of worse ways that they could be handling this TBH

    Edit: You know what, congratulations. At least it is done now


  • #16
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I'm going to text/ring my sister now.

    What a mess of a situation.


    What makes it worse is that they found out I broke the ****ing lawn mower too!:(


  • #17
    norrie rugger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,656 ✭✭✭norrie rugger


    1ZRed wrote: »

    What makes it worse is that they found out I broke the lawn mower too!:(

    hahahaaha, that is competing with you coming out?? brilliant:D

    RING her


  • #18
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    norrie rugger wrote: »
    hahahaaha, that is competing with you coming out?? brilliant:D

    RING her

    I did.

    Bitch made it impossible because I text her explaining everything and how I wanted to talk to her later. So naturally she assumed my phone was stolen and started ringing my mom and the house phone? Like you do in these kinds of situations! :rolleyes:

    Anyway rang her, got talking and she still thought I was joking even while on the phone. Wtf do people not seem to believe I'm gay?:confused:

    She was shocked but completely 100% fine and happy with it. She actually wondered why it took me so long. And I was like it was hard enough to get you to feckin believe it never mind telling you sooner!:p


    Anyways I'm a bit happier now and glad everything is ok and going very well:)

    Word of advice for anyone thinking of coming out:
    DO NOT DO WHAT I DID!!!

    Haha! It gets the job done but it's a head wrecking mess. Being open and honest without drink seems to be the best way to go.
    Might try it that way next time!;)



    Thanks for the replies!


  • #19
    oisindoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭oisindoyle


    Well firstly congrats on coming on .

    Secondly,stay off the drink :-)


  • #20
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    oisindoyle wrote: »
    Well firstly congrats on coming on .

    Secondly,stay off the drink :-)

    I think you're right. Just goes to show you shouldn't drink with a lot on my mind, for a start it messes up your emotions and way of thinking and then you end up getting loaded and doing stupid things.

    I'll definitely need to just get the balls to come out without drink as my crutch and be more mature and direct about it. I think it's going to be a real learning curve for me but that's what I need to do.
    Then I'll be able to have a better time and drink more responsibly without this on my mind only dying to come out.


  • #21
    cartell_best
    Closed Accounts Posts: 579 ✭✭✭cartell_best


    I'm sorry mods, I had to say something. OP, were you not the poster who wanted to indulge in gay porn not so many days ago? Yet you find it so difficult to come out to your sister, in a direct or indirect fashion? ...I'm sorry! but in fairness


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  • #22
    ninty9er
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,366 ✭✭✭ninty9er


    IIRC you're 18??

    18 year olds gettting stupidly drunk is common in this country, while its not the best way of doing things, he did it.

    Nice one Red! I hate saying well done to people for coming out, but I do anyway.

    Well done OP!


  • #23
    brokenice
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭brokenice


    welcome to the world


  • #24
    wishwashwoo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 125 ✭✭wishwashwoo


    Live your life the way you want to don't waste a single second. I wasted my life for 16 years regrets wont help just grab the chances and go pride


  • #25
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    cartell_best wrote: »
    I'm sorry mods, I had to say something. OP, were you not the poster who wanted to indulge in gay porn not so many days ago? Yet you find it so difficult to come out to your sister, in a direct or indirect fashion? ...I'm sorry! but in fairness

    And that was for a lot of reasons which I'm not getting into here. You can look back on the posts and see for yourself.
    ninty9er wrote: »
    IIRC you're 18??

    18 year olds gettting stupidly drunk is common in this country, while its not the best way of doing things, he did it.

    Nice one Red! I hate saying well done to people for coming out, but I do anyway.

    Well done OP!

    Thanks man!
    Yeah I know that is common and I like to drink so I'm not going to stop. Why would I? There's no need:) But I will cut down on it until this is all sorted out because the drinking plus dealing with this does not equal good things for me.
    And once everything has been dealt with and this is all boring to me, I'll pick right back up again!

    I have a question though, is it normal to feel a bit down after coming out like this?
    I don't mean by the circumstances by which I did it but the actual telling the person. I felt relieved when I did it and a bit happier but then I kind of crashed. I didn't feel any real weight lifted off me at all. In fact that's only ever happend when I admitted to myself I was gay and said the words aloud for the first time. Since then I haven't been feeling much easier since. That's not normal right? :confused:


  • #26
    ninty9er
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,366 ✭✭✭ninty9er


    1ZRed wrote: »

    I have a question though, is it normal to feel a bit down after coming out like this?
    I don't mean by the circumstances by which I did it but the actual telling the person. I felt relieved when I did it and a bit happier but then I kind of crashed. I didn't feel any real weight lifted off me at all. In fact that's only ever happend when I admitted to myself I was gay and said the words aloud for the first time. Since then I haven't been feeling much easier since. That's not normal right? :confused:

    Until you close it out by either talking it through with your family, or by telling them it's not something you want to discuss then feeling a bit down is nothing major.

    Friends next, at least you have someone to lean on with your sis if some of them don't take it as well as she did.


  • #27
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    ninty9er wrote: »
    Until you close it out by either talking it through with your family, or by telling them it's not something you want to discuss then feeling a bit down is nothing major.

    Friends next, at least you have someone to lean on with your sis if some of them don't take it as well as she did.

    I've been out to friends since Christmas but we still haven't sat down and really discussed it. I think I did with my best friend but I was so drunk and I don't remember much that was said really. Anyway it's not something I like doing. I hate saying "I'm gay" in person and I've only said it once to somebody, the other times it was said in an indirect but obvious way. And the only time I said it right that time was because I was drunk but even then I cringed a bit.

    Yeah I don't know, thought I was very comfortable being gay but obviously not if I hate saying it so much. Whenever I told a friend I always just joke and take the piss out of it nearly instantly and leave it at that. I just don't like discussing it too much or putting too much emphasis on it and I want things to go ahead as if nothing ever happened.
    Like I know I feel a bit uncomfortable telling people when in reality it's not a big deal at all and I know everything will be fine with my immediate family and my friends. How do I get over this kind of block?


  • #28
    senordingdong
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,673 ✭✭✭✭senordingdong


    I remember when a friend of mine came out to us and it was such a big deal for him.

    But we kinda already knew which was what really put him at ease.


  • #29
    bleepp
    Registered Users Posts: 81 ✭✭bleepp


    1ZRed wrote: »
    As the title goes, I was out drinking heavily till now and and I ended up coming out to my sister and one of my friends by text. It's so late right now and I'm absolutely pissed right now but I'm freaking out because I feel I've done something stupid.

    I'm actually really stressing right now because I know I should have done it in person but I just don't seem to have the balls. I'm ****ing a brick right now!:(

    hey man

    I did the exact same thing you did, got terrifically drunk one night then let loose to my sister. She took it all well and there was no confusion!

    haven't told anyone else yet. I dunno why tbh, I still find it hard accepting the whole gay thing myself never mind telling the world i'm gay.

    And you said you felt a bit down about it all. From my experience its completely normal. I was out in the pub last night and I felt a bit crap, its sh1te being different from the group, especially when only you know why you're different. I'ts easy feel down sometimes. I'd love to be straight and have a gf and all that but I have to realize that can't happen. I hate it.
    'll have to accept it more myself before I tell friends. How can I cope with other people knowing if I can't cope with it on my own?
    Its all very confusing!!

    Also i'm many many miles away from the stereotypical gay person, I'm very much straight acting, into sports and such.
    Anyways hope it all goes up hill for you from here :)


  • #30
    baztard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 555 ✭✭✭baztard


    1ZRed wrote: »
    ...
    I realise this was a bad way to go but it's a good kick up the ass to get things in the right direction.

    Theres no good way or bad way or better way of coming out. How you do it is ultimately irrelevant. You have made some brave steps in coming out up to now, so I would advise you to keep going and tell your parents and anyone else who you respect enough that you'd want them to know.

    Their short term reactions are exactly that... short term. Again ultimately that reaction is irrelevant. How your friends and family treat you long term is what really counts.

    Your sister got a drunken txt msg from you saying that you're gay. She doesn't know if its true, she might know it is, she might think it was a joke, or she might want it to not be true because its something that she doesn't know how to react to. If she's told other people since, please don't get angry with her. No doubt this is a total shock for her and she's just dealing with it in the best way she can.

    Don't make your coming out be about anger or reactions or blame. Set a precedent for your family to follow and make it be about a positive change in your life. Suck up any negativity you might recieve, because it is just a short term reaction from people who probably don't know how to react to the situation. Be confident in yourself and you'll be grand man. Show them how you want it to be and they'll follow you.

    Well done and congratulations, you're free to be whoever the fuk you wanna to be now :)


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  • #31
    Galwayguy20
    Registered Users Posts: 39 ✭Galwayguy20


    Hahaha, I did the exact same thing as this, only I told all of my family in person! The fear the next day when I woke up was unreal, and it lasted a few days (which can happen to me if I did something terrifically stupid on a night out), but a bit of slagging from my Dad, and my mam practically knocking herself to tell her sisters set my mind a little more at ease (she hadn't a clue beforehand)! I think a lot of the "down" feeling was due to feeling like everyone must be discussing you / seeing you in a different way or something (the drink doesn't help with the paranoia). Looking back now though it was the best thing I ever did! It'll probably be a little while after you tell people that you feel like things are back to normal.


  • #32
    TheCoolWay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭TheCoolWay


    1ZRed wrote: »
    As the title goes, I was out drinking heavily till now and and I ended up coming out to my sister and one of my friends by text. It's so late right now and I'm absolutely pissed right now but I'm freaking out because I feel I've done something stupid.

    I'm actually really stressing right now because I know I should have done it in person but I just don't seem to have the balls. I'm ****ing a brick right now!:(

    They probably knew anyway....


  • #33
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    TheCoolWay wrote: »
    They probably knew anyway....

    Read through the thread before jumping to the end to post


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